Novels2Search
Bard’s got Talon(t): An Undead Bard’s Silly Guide To Dragonslaying
Command #1: Talon Sleep AKA “What’s the Magic Words To Turn This Cursed Thing Off???”

Command #1: Talon Sleep AKA “What’s the Magic Words To Turn This Cursed Thing Off???”

Talon Sleep

Say "Talon sleep."

If you give a newb a shining sword

and you do not want them dead

It helps to teach control enough

They don't slice off their head

A sword is such a simple thing

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

this artifact is not

the Talon casts two thousand spells

(it's really quite a lot)

An expert caster wants it on

the minute they can get it

but you are not an expert yet

and newbies should not let it

take in their words, interpret them

as some random command,

and watch it blow their spells apart

and shatter in their hands.

Will it scribble nonsense on your eyes?

Or, if it's so inclined?

Will it erase all your spells,

and just annoy your mind?

The Talon is an eager thing.

Delighted to obey

And it will try to do for you

Exactly what you say.

New mage, you must control it first

and learn these magic words

before any other voice command

the Talon's ears have heard.

Turn off the Talon first of all

So control you keep

Say out loud this first command

Say now:

"Talon, Sleep"

And you will see the Talon sleep

Your voice it will not heed

and now you won't blow up your world

With a careless deed.