When Pale awoke the next morning, it was with a mission in mind. She needed to find Nasir and speak to him about obtaining Dragonsteel, that much was certain. The fortunate part was that she knew where to find him.

Unfortunately, that meant he was also going to take plenty of convincing.

Kayla had been absolutely correct the night before, when she'd said that Pale's bridge with Nasir had already been burned; Pale had made sure of that when she'd held a knife to his throat during initiation and extorted him for his tome. Part of her already suspected exactly how this encounter was likely to go, and needless to say, it almost certainly wasn't going to end well for either of them. But she had to try regardless.

The fate of her creators relied on her.

XXX

"Nasir."

He froze when Pale called out to him from down the hallway. Like she'd known, it wasn't hard to find him – all she'd had to do was wait outside the mess hall until he came along. Slowly, he turned towards her, his eyes narrowing.

"What do you want?" he demanded, his voice shaking.

"I just want to talk," Pale promised. She took several steps towards him, and he matched each one with a backpedal of his own; seeing it, Pale immediately paused, holding her hands up in surrender.

"Relax, okay?" she implored. "All I want is to speak with you about something, I swear."

"You really expect me to trust you after that stunt you pulled during initiation?" he growled. "I almost didn't pass because of you! I was lucky enough to find the exact kind of tome you'd taken from me just before I made it to the end." He paused, shuddering as he did so. "...I just wish I hadn't had to take it from a dead person…"

Pale wasn't surprised at his statement, nor at the fact that it still had him incredibly shaken. Ultimately, almost everyone in this crop of first-year students was a sheltered noble of some kind, and even if they weren't, they were still little more than young adults let loose into a cold and unforgiving world. Most of them had probably barely even left their home towns before now; she couldn't imagine any of them had seen things the same way she and Kayla had over the past few months.

That meant it was time for a little empathy. Her brow furrowed at the thought. Empathy wasn't exactly something she'd been expected to have – in fact, her superiors had always made it a point to say that she should have no empathy at all, as was the case with any good weapon – but even she could tell that it was what the situation was calling for.

And so Pale forced as sympathetic a look as possible across her face.

She imagined it had to look as unnatural on her as it felt, but it was worth a try regardless.

"It's regrettable that you had to experience that," she said, trying to keep her voice gentle. "None of those people deserved to die, and you shouldn't have had to see the aftermath of it all."

Nasir let out a shaky breath. "...Yeah. Doesn't change the fact that it happened, though…"

"No, but at the very least, you have an opportunity to live on and honor the fallen that way," Pale urged. "Tell me, what was it that made you come to the Luminarium? I didn't see you among the students who were undecided about what they wanted to be, and you're certainly not an archivist like I am. So what made you-"

"I… I want to become the strongest, most powerful mage I can possibly be."

His sudden declaration took her by surprise. Pale stared at him, watching as Nasir lowered his head, his fingers curling into the palm of his hand as he did so.

"...Blood magic is unnatural even where I'm from," he explained, his voice quiet. "I can't blame them for thinking of it in that way, either. The way it works… I hate it. But an affinity is an affinity, and I'm unfortunately stuck with mine, so here we are." He shook his head. "I just want to become as strong as possible, so I can prove to everyone that just because I'm a blood mage, it doesn't mean I have to be evil."

Pale stared at him for a moment before giving him a slow nod. "That's very noble of you," she said.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Pale knew they weren't good enough. Something within her was raging – urging her to say more. She wasn't sure why, but the feeling was utterly overwhelming, and before she even knew what was happening, the words came flowing out of her mouth.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"You control your magic, not the other way around," she told him. "Think of your magic as a weapon. A weapon at its core is just a tool. How it gets used depends on who's using it. A sword can just as easily kill a tyrant and set his people free as it can kill a benevolent leader and enslave them. Ultimately, you choose what your magic is used for."

Nasir finally looked up as she finished talking, staring at her with wide eyes. For a moment, Pale thought he was going to express some form of gratitude for what she'd said. Of course, that ended up not being the case.

She realized it the moment his eyes narrowed again.

"So, what do you want, exactly?" Nasir demanded. "Because I'm not dumb enough to think you're speaking to me out of the kindness of your heart."

Pale hesitated before letting out a long sigh. "...Alright. I need your help."

"Oh, you do?" he challenged. "The same way you did during initiation? Should I expect another knife at my throat?"

"The least you could do is hear me out," Pale insisted. "I can't force you to say yes to helping me."

"Just like you can't force me to listen."

At that Nasir turned and began to walk away. Pale watched him go for a moment, her thoughts racing, before she finally decided to throw caution to the wind and get his attention in a way that couldn't be ignored.

"Dragonsteel."

That made Nasir pause instantly. He turned towards her, a shocked look on his face. "...What would someone like you want with Dragonsteel?" he said, marching over to her, fixing her with a harsh glare as he drew to within a few meters of her. "You realize what it is, don't you?"

"It's a very high-quality type of metal that's very expensive and hard to come by, with the knowledge of how to make it remaining exclusive to the dark elves."

"You're forgetting that it's also extremely deadly. Sharpened Dragonsteel can cut through almost anything. There's a reason why it's so hard to get and why the elders keep the knowledge of how to manufacture it under lock and key – because if word ever got out about how to make it, then suddenly, every battlefield becomes a mass grave." Nasir's eyes narrowed once more. "If you want some that badly, I would recommend saving your coppers and buying it yourself."

"Nasir-"

"Even if I wanted to help you, I couldn't," he explained. "It's not like I know how to make it."

"No, but you know the people who do," Pale pointed out. "If you could arrange a meeting-"

Nasir scoffed at her, then shook his head. "You're far from the first person to try this throughout our history, and you won't be the last, either. My people have kept that particular secret for thousands of years, and we have no intentions of giving it up to an outsider, particularly one such as yourself. I'll say it again – you want Dragonsteel so badly? Save your money and buy it for yourself. Because otherwise, I won't be helping you."

With that, Nasir turned and walked away, leaving Pale alone in the hall.

XXX

"Try it again, Pale."

Pale let out a huff of frustration. "This is pointless, Professor. Nothing is going to happen."

"We won't know until we've accounted for every variable," Professor Tomas told her. "Now try it again."

Pale let out a tired sigh, but gave him a reluctant nod nonetheless as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on… honestly, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to be focusing on; Professor Tomas had given her some song-and-dance about 'channeling the source of her Sjel' or something along those lines. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean or how she was supposed to do it, but so far, it seemed like all he wanted her to do was close her eyes and meditate.

And like meditation, this seemed like a complete waste of time to her, too.

"So, talk to me," Tomas implored, taking a seat next to her. "You mentioned you spoke with Nasir earlier?"

"I did," Pale said, keeping her eyes closed.

"Hm… I take it he wasn't agreeable?"

"I held a knife to his throat and stole from him during initiation, Professor. And even if I hadn't, he wasn't capable of doing anything for me, anyway."

"Still, that is unfortunate," Tomas said quietly. "So, what's your plan now?"

"I don't have one yet," Pale replied. She let out a huff of frustration. "Look, this exercise is pointless. It's clear I don't have a sjel, so I don't know why you insist on putting me through this."

Class had ended a short while ago, and yet Professor Tomas had held her afterwards, insisting he'd wanted to try running some experiments on her. Pale hadn't been a lab rat for a while, not since first entering the fight against the Caatex, but it wasn't like the feeling was unfamiliar to her. And in this case, at least there was far less poking and prodding going on.

Honestly, though, at the rate things were going, she was starting to look back fondly on the poking and prodding. It had been annoying, sure, but it had served a specific purpose, whereas all these experiments to try and unlock her sjel did nothing more than waste her time.

"Just be patient, please," Tomas said, scribbling on a piece of parchment. "I still think this is worth going through every now and again, just to see if we can make a breakthrough."

"What's your angle here, anyway?" Pale said, finally having had enough. She cracked both eyes open and stood up, stretching out as she did so. "Because, to me, this seems a bit deeper than professional curiosity."

"It's partially that," Tomas admitted. "But it's also partly stubbornness on my part. I simply refuse to believe that a living being capable of rational thought is incapable of having a sjel. And so, I intend to run these tests until either we find where your sjel is lurking inside you, or it becomes clear that you are correct and do not have one."

Pale let out an annoyed exhale. She'd tried explaining her origins to Professor Tomas earlier, but he'd simply shrugged them off, saying he wanted to try anyway. Not that it mattered; ultimately, Pale was the one calling the shots when it came to her own autonomy – after all, it wasn't like he could force her to meditate.

"I'm going to be late for my next class," Pale told him.

Tomas nodded in understanding. "Very well. Come see me again tomorrow, we'll resume then. Oh, and one more thing – I believe Professor Marick intends to take some of you on your first expedition this weekend."

Pale tilted her head. "Expedition?"

Tomas nodded. "Yes. There are some old ruins a short ways away – we like to send the first-years out there in small groups so they can get a feel for what it means to explore the world."

"Sounds dangerous."

"It shouldn't be; we haven't had any incidents in years, not since the border crisis was resolved almost three decades ago. Ah, but that's Professor Virux's territory, not mine – if you want to know more about it, speak with him."

Pale stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "I'll be sure to do that," she said. "Be seeing you, Professor."

"Have a good day, Pale," Tomas said without looking up from his notes.

With those final words, Pale stepped out of Tomas' classroom, heading for her next lesson.