[Fire dart]
A rain of bolts falls on the imploring sorcerer. However powerful, it can do nothing against the most intrepid of heroes and its company!
Behind the burning body here is the Great Treasure!
Shine is composed of precious stones, gold, and enchanted objects. Ah, I can already feel foaming at the mouth for what I will be able to buy!
He he he.
“Gron you were amazing!”
Modestly, a cat is not a [Paladin].
“Yeah Gron, amazing!”
You admire me huh, [Archer]?
“Gron, your magic is unstoppable!”
Oh, [Mage] of the guild, would you like some lessons?
I turn towards my brave companions, hoisting my solemn tail. “Listen!”
“Oh, Gron your voice!!!” Correct and sublime choir.
“Because I am fair and just, I will share with you the treasure and honor of this dungeon.”
The trio prostrates themselves reverently, as they should.
For the great Gron, there are no obstacles. For the wonderful Gron, there are no enemies! Even the great Dal-Dazzer would kneel as I passed!
♦
In the evening, we arrive with the loaded wagon at a border town.
“Venerable Gron, your fame precedes you, please, please.” The innkeeper is a goblin with a short, well-groomed beard and simple clothing befitting the people of the wild lands.
I get off the [Paladin]'s shoulders, intent on giving myself the most deserved caresses, and I overtake the mass of thugs that meet in these places.
A simple tavern with stone and wood walls, consisting of two floors. But that's enough.
I jump onto the counter and clear my throat.
“Adventurers, friends.” The whole room turns to look at me and my companions kneel to underline the solemnity of the moment. “Today the great sorcerer was defeated. Don't thank me, indeed, to celebrate I will cook for all of you!”
The shocked crowd immediately understands who they are dealing with and the word spreads throughout the room.
“It's Gron!”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“The great Gron!”
“The best chef among adventurers!”
“The best adventurer of heroes!”
“GRON! GRON! GRON! GRON!” The crowd applauds and claps the table in approval. So, I retreat to the kitchens guided by the goblin innkeeper.
Once in the kitchen, the elf chef bows and kisses my red paws.
“Great Gron, teach me the art of cooking. I have so much to learn.”
I raise my paw. “No, don't say that. As in every adventure, even in the kitchen, you need to work as a team. Obey me and you will see that everything will be fine.”
The elf nods and we start cooking for the guests.
Are you wondering how? How can a cat cook?
Well, you fool, you only talk because you have never seen my art! There's no point in me going into worthless details!
Meats, vegetables, broths, and coals! I am an undisputed master.
And while the elf runs, trying to keep up with my pace so as not to disfigure himself, there it is. Now I realize the fatal mistake!
“Fish to grill!”
The elf paralyzes and is afraid to turn around.
“Tell me, young and inexperienced chef, do not fear my judgment.”
Reassured, the elf finally decides to speak. “Behold… High Gron, the fish has been stolen.” He bursts into tears full of emotion.
But compassionate as I am, I caress his face with my tail.
“Dry your tears and tell me more, I will catch the fish and punish the vile thief within the hour needed to finish the broth!”
♦
Having learned what is necessary, I will not give you the tedium of reporting it to you word for word, here I am going out to the back of the inn.
I run and sneak between crates and sacks and carts. I jump over obstacles and quickly arrive at the vile thief's lair. A ramshackle doghouse of evil that welcomes a nightmare creature, such that no adventurer would ever hope to meet.
The Mastiff.
The warlock hound of the evil Overlord.
Yes, that's right! I know you are wondering: «But Gron, there is no such mastiff!»
Unbelievers!
«But Gron, accepting that it exists, how can it be in that very place at that moment, complete with a bunk?»
Shut up with your bad faith!
«But Gron, let's assume in good faith that you're telling the truth… why did this monster steal the fish instead of, well, killing everyone?»
Tse! It's not even worth answering your useless questions.
So.
I arrive near the kennel and in a bowl bristling with brambles, here it is the prized fish of the southern lakes!
Shielding myself with bags and crates, I arrive within a few steps of the coveted treasure. Luckily the monster hasn't consumed it yet and I'm about to take it into my jaws...
…when suddenly a bolt of lightning arrives!
The warlock emerges from its lair foaming with rage. It barks and casts spells that the dungeon wizard would have dreamed of!
We engage in an unparalleled magical fight.
Whole minutes of pure destruction pass! Proud and devoted as it is, the beast lacks experience and its spells can do little against me.
My [Fire darts] hit the evil and a battle of attrition begins. Muscles versus brain. Bestiality versus experience. Subservience to evil versus justice.
And here I am the winner!
«But you're not dead?»
Wait!
«Oh, we're waiting but you're not telling it right.»
Have faith!
Pr-prrr.
I was saying.
Here I come out victorious. One blow from the claw or one bite and it would have been the end of the beast.
But I, full of heroic pity, could not finish off an honorably defeated dog in that way. Be it beast or sage.
In an act of virtue, I let it live and turn to the fish.
And it's there, unexpectedly! That the warlock showed off its most secret and fearsome attack… the bite!
«Did you think so? It's a dog, what was it supposed to do?»
Not a dog! A warlock of…
«Yes, yes, okay Gron, bye eh!»
Where are you going? Wait, wait! You don't want to know when I was resurrected in a desert land, ash dunes as high as royal palaces…
Wait!
Please don't all leave!
Don't leave…
Sob.
It is always like this.
“Gron, I'm interested. Tell me about those dunes.”
“Oh, N, I must have told you a thousand and thousand times… I need a wider audience. I can't always tell you the same stories…”
“Come here silly. As long as you don't want to sleep, I will always listen to your funny stories!”
“Hey, they're not funny, they're… prrr! The belly, ohh! Pr-prr!”