My lungs have been screaming for a very long time now. My legs ache, but I push on. I keep looking for things I might recognize, but nothing seems familiar.
Earlier that day....
I always wanted to exert as little effort as possible when studying or doing schoolwork. I wanted to appear as chill as an ice cube floating in a cup of iced tea. I wanted people to think I could do things with minimal effort, but what am I doing right now? I've been working on this plate since morning, and it's already 2 am, the next day. It's due later, and it's nowhere near complete. I still want to continue, but the thought of going against my philosophy is a dilemma I don't want to be a part of.
I saw this video once about tossing a coin if you can't decide on anything. "Should I do that now?" I questioned myself quietly. I wanted to rest, but I also keep imagining failed marks on my report card. My hands are now as stiff, like the body of someone who has had a stroke.
I reached out for my phone, connected to a charger next to my drafting table. "Just a small break." I reasoned to myself while I opened Twitter. I surfed through this massive sea of nonsense until one post captured my attention: "The war in Visionline City against invaders is still nowhere near its end." Fortunately, this city is far away from where I am right now, but if my mother saw this, I'm sure she would start panic buying again.
The thought of continuing lost to the laziness and fatigue I suffered from. I moved the chair to the corner next to my drafting table. My dad built me a folding bed because this room of mine can't accommodate my drafting table and this old bed that is now darker than it used to be. As much as I wanted to complain, I couldn't. My parents are minimum wage earners. Having my own room should be equivalent to dining in fancy restaurants every day for wealthy people.
Before I fell into slumber, I quickly set my alarm for 6:30 am. I've been praying to God to move my class schedule from 7 am to 10 am, but it seems He doesn't want to partake in this problem of mine. Maybe He's still busy tending to those people in Visionline City, maybe He's still busy preparing for the rupture, maybe busy letting people win at the casino or maybe busy killing babies. For whatever reason it is, I'm sure He will find a way to make what I wished happen.
What felt like a couple of minutes was already four hours of sleep. I suddenly heard a hymn that sounded like a goat getting sexually harrased by 10 ringing bells. My eyes quickly opened itself. Whoever invented it should be in the deepest of hell right now. I hurriedly went to the bathroom and cleaned myself, and quickly went downstairs. It's been a couple of years now since my mother stopped cooking breakfast for me. She said that I'm already a grown man and I shouldn't rely on my beautiful mother to cook for me anymore. Since then, I stopped eating breakfasts.
The bus stop is a short walk from my house, so I usually use this time to think of nonsense scenes that won't happen in real life. Like that old lady walking her dog who will just instantly give me three wishes that she can grant, or those two girls wearing school uniforms who will come up to me and offer their love. These kinds of thoughts will stop lingering in my head for God knows when.
The thought of me being mature was already long gone to the deepest and darkest part of my brain. I just embraced who I really am. I'm just a normal dude, with a few friends or nothing at all. I don't exactly know when, but one day, I just lost interest in talking to anyone anymore. But I also didn't want to be seen as a loner, so I tried to have a conversation here and there, though it always ended up with me being seen as a weird guy.
Without noticing it, I was already on the bus and started looking for a place to sit. It's always a game for me. Knowing where to sit is crucial when sitting with a bunch of strangers inside a matchbox with wheels. The only empty seats are next to a normal-looking lady wearing leggings and a shirt with matching blue shoes and a blue cap. It looks like she's exercising, maybe jogging and gave up, and the other seat is next to a mother with a baby. The kid looked asleep, so maybe she would not start a tantrum in the middle of the ride and just throw things at me.
When I walked through the bus, the mother looked at me. I didn't know what that look meant. Maybe it's just a look, or maybe she's telling me not to sit down with her, maybe she already paid for that seat too, or maybe she thinks I'm a robber and will do bad things to her. 'What should I do?' The thought pondered in my head. The feeling of uneasiness rushed through my whole body and made my body freeze for a second. I then took a step back, adjusted my body to face the window opposite the mother and the child, and rode the bus standing up.
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The university I'm attending is quite far from my house. It usually takes more than 30 minutes just to get there. Students require IDs and bag checksto enter tbe school. Well, I might be a weird guy, but I'm not a bad one. I don't put illegal things in my bag and go to school just to appear cool, so passing this gate shouldn't be a problem.
I always looked at the floor or used my phone when walking through the long hallway. I always avoid making unnecessary eye contact with people for fear that they might feel like I'm violating them with my eyes. My class for today is design, and the room is located on the second floor at the farthest building from the entrance. I also always avoid using the elevator because I've never seen anyone use it alone. Students here always ride it with their friends or lovers, so I just use the stairs instead. It's actually better as it can be an exercise for me.
When I entered the room, the class was already starting. No one really cared about me here. I never expected anyone to greet me with a 'Hi Mason, looking good today, huh?' or 'What's up handsome?' Well, I'm sure it would be nice to be greeted like that once in a while.
I took a seat at an empty table. The class was pretty boring. The professor wasn't exciting to listen to. I'm sure I can find everything he said on the internet and maybe even find someone who can explain the topic much better.
The classroom is filled with drafting tables, so it's more spacious compared to a normal classroom, even though it can only accommodate at least 40 students.
I sat there for a couple of hours and then submitted my unfinished plate. The professor called our names, one by one. It's a usual routine here in architecture class; it's what they call consultation time. It's a one-on-one talk with your professor about the past plates you submitted and how you can improve your work. It's my time now to be judged.
I've never been praised by any of my professors. It only meant that I'm really that bad. Maybe architecture is not for me after all. Maybe being good for nothing is really what God wants me to be.
Oh dear God, should I continue being a deadweight to my parents? Whatever you want, I can not defy. Just show some signs, and I will happily oblige. I thought, hoping God is listening right now.
"Late as usual, huh?" My professor said. I weirdly smiled at him and apologized, as I always do.
The time started slipping away from my fingertips, as if it didn't want to stay. Without realizing it, the afternoon had already arrived, and my stomach was growling incessantly. I had planned to go straight home but decided to buy some food at a convenience store that I could microwave later. While waiting for the bus, I noticed two kids playing, pretending to be mimics.
Mimics possess a rare genetic code that makes them stronger than ordinary people. They're the ones battling the demonic invaders, hailed as heroes in today's world. Despite their fame, I wonder why so many aspire to become Mimics when the risks are so high. Haven't they seen the devastation these invaders cause? Normal bullets are useless against them. So why choose to be a Mimic when you could just be a regular civilian protected by them?
The bus arrival halted the kids from playing. While on the bus, I couldn't help but feel the punch of loneliness as I observed a group of teenagers enjoying popsicles. Will I die alone? It's a sobering thought that darkens anyone's day.
Sweat from my hand suddenly started flowing, like in karimba Dam when it's open. Thunders started appearing from my heart. It wanted to hide somewhere and escape from my body, but it couldn't. My body started shivering even when it's not cold. Winds are now blowing in a different direction. Earlier, I felt nothing, but now I feel like I'm a wanted person hiding from the authorities. Gazes from other passengers seem all focused on me. 'Should I leave? Or should I stay?' These kinds of questions keep on running through my head. I wanted to ask for help, but for what reason? My feet keep on jumping like a happy kid on his birthday. My breathing started a marathon, and it doesn't want to lose. I've only been on this state for a couple of minutes, yet it still feels like a year has already passed.
The bus has already stopped, but the feeling of uneasiness won't stop bothering me. I then used all of my strength just for me to stand up and get off the bus. By now, I'm still wondering whether this feeling meant something, or maybe I'm just overthinking it. "Hey kid, will you get off the damn bus. Will ya? If you want to kiss the fucking driver then do it later after we all got off." Said by the man behind me. I didn't realised that I was standing at the door of the bus hindering people on getting out. I then quickly got off, and started walking to my house.
A couple of miles down the road to my house, I saw four black cars surrounding my house. The unfathomable feeling I felt was now stronger than before. I could hear the orchestra my heart was conducting. As my body malfunctioned, water started pouring from my head to my toes. I had never even once taken some drugs, yet I felt so light. So light that if I moved, I might start floating uncontrollably.
A man in a suit suddenly got off from one of the cars; he suddenly turned his head to my direction and looked at me. Even though he wore sunglasses, I knew, no, I was sure he looked at me. My body started to heat up and my heart was ready for climax. I was shaking, my head twisted to the way I wasn't going first, then my body followed. My legs stretched out like a spring and burst. My eyes were set only to anything I could run to. My head was clearly not working the way I wanted it to be, since my body started moving, nothing could be found in there.
I kept on running and running without caring what came in my way. My lungs were as heavy as my whole body now. If only exercising were as good as laying on the bed then I would've done it. I looked back once and looked again. "Why did I run?" I said. I was still confused as to why I was pushing my body to run so fast without even knowing why, but the biggest mystery I wanted to solve first was who the hell were those people. Why did they look like they came from Men in Black? I looked back again once more to make sure that no one was following me. I sat on the ground for a second. I had been running for a couple of minutes now, and yet I had only reached the bus stop I was earlier.
I caught every breath that escaped from my body. I wanted to lie down on the street, but people's gazes made it uncomfortable. I looked back again once more, and I saw black cars going on my way. I didn't know if that was the one at my house. I didn't know if they were following me. But one thing was for sure, I was going to run again. I stood back up and positioned my body the way Olympic runners do. But mine was a little weirder. I summoned every strength I had, and yet it felt not enough. I started running through the street like how Jerry runs away from Tom.