Jason and I were lying in my bed three days after the end of his exile.
We were watching a movie. Like every day since he came back.
And it felt so right because somehow our friendship was not broken like a piece of glass. It was perfect. And it felt like a dream.
My dream.
"You look happy," he said while he looked at me with his bright eyes.
I could not stop my smile.
Because somehow he could make me so cheerful.
"Because I am happy," I said, "I think Summer has this power over everyone."
He laughs.
A light beautiful laugh.
"Yeah, I think it has," he said.
His eyes moved to the screen with a hint of a smile on his lips.
But I noticed that at some point between the middle and the end of the movie he stopped being present.
He was there.
His body was there.
But I could see that he was not there with me.
I remained silent waiting for him to return to me.
And some moment he held my hand and kept it until the movie credits.
I felt it in my heart. And my stupid brain kept it as a core memory.
He squeezed my hand.
One. Two. Three times.
His eyes met mine under the fairy lights.
"I talked to Aaron yesterday,” he said carefully, “he was worried about me. Because mom called him and told him that my life was a mess, that I was a mess."
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"She was worried about you," I said, trying to be the peacemaker because I knew he would regret saying something mean to his mother. He loved his mother so much. It was a precious relationship.
“I know it. I'm not mad at her. She was just trying to help me. In her way. But the thing is that I didn't want her help. I just wanted to feel the pain. Embrace it. know it. Feel it in my bones. But she would not let me do it because she is such a sensitive soul. So she called Aaron. My older brother,” he laughed as if it were a joke. A bad joke.
I cringed at the sound.
He noticed the gesture and grimaced. and as if to erase that horrible sound from my ears he held my hand again and intertwined my little finger with his own, like he used to do when we were kids. And with his other hand, he ran his thumb over my eyebrow. Over and over again. Like a sad song about the past. A song that's so beautiful and unpriced that it almost hurts to listen to it.
“He called me,” he whispered, “and invited me to stay a few days in his apartment. To breathe fresh air and live the ephemeral youth.”
I laughed.
A brief and short laugh.
Because his skin was still touching my skin.
And it felt like a nightmare, but at the same time, it was a paradise.
“It's Aaron’s words, not mine,” he said with a tiny smile on his beautiful lips. “He also invited you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah,” he said painfully slowly.
“He hates human beings,” I said it as an irrefutable fact, “and he hates visitors even more.”
“He does. But he likes you.”
“He's known me for years. It would be weird if he did not like me. At least a little bit,” I said.
“Yeah, it would be. But to invite you to his safe place it's a big deal, like a huge board saying “I wouldn't run over you with my car if I could”,” he said it's a secret truth.
"This is good to know. Thank you, Jason. I am gonna sleep like a baby because of it," I said with a sweet voice.
"You welcome, Summie," he said with a full smile playing on his face. "But seriously now, did you think your mother was gonna let you come with me?"
"I do not know. Maybe. If you explain exactly what we are gonna do, where we are gonna stay, and when we are gonna come back. And obviously, she is gonna want to facetime both of us every single time. And if we do it perfectly right, maybe she will let me discover the world with you," I said, laying in my bed and looking at the sky above us.
"I love facetime," he said with a sweet voice just like I did a few minutes ago.
"I know. But until the end of this youth ephemeral trip, you are gonna hate it. Trust me," I said.
"I don't think so, little one," he said, rising from my bed.
"We have the same height, genius," I said just a little too fast.
He stopped in the middle of my bedroom and he turned slowly to face me.
"Maybe. But I got it first," he said and went back to walk out of my room.
I rolled my eyes.
"Where are you going?" I said getting out of my bed.
"Talk to your mother. And have dinner. Because I'm starving to death."