Jason stayed in his room for two entire weeks.
I walked away and let him feel his pain, I let him understand what was going on with his emotions, and I let him feel the loneliness that always comes after a broken heart. I wanted to be close to him, but I knew I could not force my presence when he barely got out of his bed.
Thus, I walked away, and waited for him.
Because I was his friend.
But despite that, I still remember the feeling of my room’s window glass pressed against my hand every morning as I stared compulsively at his window, hoping for a glimpse of life. But for two weeks the only thing I saw was darkness, and even though I knew that this time was important to him, that silence slowly tore my heart apart.
But I waited.
And after a terrible storm, the sun finally emerged to bring a ray of hope to the lost. And that day I finally felt that the world still had colors.
***
The day that Jason finally returned from his exile, I was lying on my bed looking at the ceiling of my room full of stars—stars that Jason and I glued together when we were kids—while I was listening to indie songs at low volume.
That morning I could feel the wind coming in through my open window and I could see the sun illuminating the pictures on my wall. Pictures of my friends. Pictures of Jason, Aaron, Audrey, and my parents. That day I almost felt at peace. That day, I almost felt like I had the answers to the world's questions. And I was with that feeling in my head when I heard whispers.
Whispers inside my room.
My heart raced inside my body and I jumped to my feet. My head spun. But I did not care as I stared wide-eyed at the string phone that connected my house to Jason's.
“Summie,” his voice was so low I almost did not hear it, “are you there?”
I sat on my bedroom’s floor and I saw my hands trembling slightly as I took the string phone in my hands.
“Hey,” I whispered back.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
I closed my eyes tightly as I resisted the miserable urge to say, “I miss you so much that it almost physically hurt.”
“I —,” he suddenly stopped and as the silence stretched on I could feel tears forming in my eyes. “Can I—Can I come over?” His voice was weird and the way he said it sounded like he was afraid of the words themselves like it could break a thousand hearts.
I closed my eyes.
“Yeah, of course, Jason,” I said with my strong voice.
I took a deep breath and I controlled the tears that had formed in my eyes. I stood up. And I waited for him.
***
He entered my room through the window—just as he had for years.
And his hair was the first thing I saw after two weeks of silence.
It was such a beautiful black, and I could see the curls from afar. And when he looked into my eyes, my foolish heart missed a beat. But after all, he just stood there—next to a small plant that Aaron had given me for my birthday the year before.
And the only thing I could do was stand there too.
Like a big idiot.
I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine. And for a moment it all felt like a mistake. A massive mistake. Because I did not know what to do or what to say to him. And that morning in that room just felt like a nightmare.
I wanted this to end.
He suddenly looked at the floor, and then he straightened his posture.
“I want to apologize to you, Summer,” he said carefully. “I wasn't the friend you deserved. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to act this way. And honestly, the only thing I feel for my actions is shame. You deserve so much more. And I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're my best friend, and you deserve the world. Please don't hate me for this because I couldn't live in a world where you hate me. I couldn't live in a world where you're not my best friend,” he took a shaky breath and looked at the ceiling full of stars, and after some time I could swear I saw a tiny smile in the corner of his mouth. He looked again into my eyes, “I love you, Summie, and I hope you forgive me.”
The world froze around us and I felt tears wet my cheeks.
And for a moment his voice sounded like the soft voice of a little boy I once knew. A beautiful boy with sad eyes who told me when I was nine years old that he loved me after the worst day I had ever had at school. That beautiful boy that wiped my tears when my world was falling apart and that made me believe that the world was still a magnificent place.
I loved that little boy so much.
I looked at Jason’s eyes and for a moment I saw that little boy in his eyes again. And without thinking, I took a step toward him. And another step. And another.
My body collided with his in a tight hug. And after a moment of hesitation, I felt him return my bear hug. And when he rested his chin on my head, I felt so incredibly happy.
And as simple as magic, the feeling of strangeness dissipated into the air like dust. And It was like we were kids again like we had never changed, and all that innocent happiness was palpable again. And, like priceless dust, I foolishly held it between my fingers.
“I love you too, Jas. With all my heart,” I whispered against his white t-shirt. “And I forgive you.”