Hell yes, I’m going to go up and talk to him.

President Carter still has a bunch of secret service people around him, but other than that, he seems completely free. And I’m just anonymous enough as a loser that, if I humiliate myself, nobody will ever know but me. That is, unless Carter’s keen eye remembers my beauty mark really well. I’ll have to cover my face with my hand the whole time.

So I go up to him, or at least as close as I can get before the bodyguards stop me, and say, “Hey, Mr. Carter, er, President Carter!”

He makes a little movement as he notices that someone called out to him, and looks up from his map to meet my eyes. He smiles, and then takes a few steps up close to me, though there’s still a layer of bodyguards between us.

“Why, hello there, young, uh--” He continues looking at me with curious levels of focus. “Well, hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

(I’m talking to Jimmy Carter.)

(Wow.)

(His accent is so old fashioned!)

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

And now is the moment when I completely freeze up and become unable to talk any further in any coherent way. “I, uh, well, sir, I, uh, I really liked the way you handled the oil crises, and... also the Israel-Palestine thing. It was cool, Mr. President, sir.”

He chuckles. “Oh, kid. Don’t be so formal. Call me Jimmy. I’m retired, you know.”

“But you’re...”

He breaks past the bodyguards and pats me on the shoulder. “I ain’t anything special. Just an old fogey looking for some more solar panels for my farm. Haven’t the slightest clue where to go, though. Any help would be real hot.”

“Oh, uh...” I quickly pull out my own map and quickly scan through it for anything that sounds kinda like a solar company’s exhibit. Aha, “Energy Biz” and “Clean Town” right next to each other that’s gotta be it. I look up at Mr. Carter and say, “It’s over in the west wing, where all the startups and smaller companies are. There’s a lot of energy companies next to each other. Of course, it’s all, uh thanks to you that they exist, since you started the Department of Energy...”

“The west wing, huh?” He chuckles to himself. “Been a long time since I’ve been in that one.” He starts to step away, then turns back to me. “Hey, thanks a lot kid.”

“You’re, uh, welcome.”

“Y’all young ones are the brightest future I’ve ever seen. Helping an old man out...” He continues mumbling more stuff but I can’t make it out since he’s walking away.

I just met President Jimmy Carter. Who’s here looking for a deal on some newfangled solar panels. And I gave him directions.

I’m going to die of happiness unless I can distract myself by doing something a lot more boring, real quick.