Oh, here we go. Blyth Industries.
You may recall that I am not exactly a major fan of Blyth Industries. Not only because many of its employees were indicted after the Social Media Killer exposed the way they were using the company to dodge taxes. But also definitely because its founder and CEO, Donald Blyth, came to my workplace one day and conned my boss into... well, I never really understood exactly what. But the moment I saw that man and his sunken cheeks and cold eyes, I knew he was someone to watch out for. And his entire company is a suspect in my eyes.
In the end, he wasn’t personally implicated by anything Jones Burrow had discovered. He went off scot-free, and even bought Dreamtech and its assets after it went under. But I know, I know for certain, that this man and this company are involved in the Ascendants somehow.
Looking at their surprisingly small setup this year, displaying just three exhibits for consumer electronics, I feel vindicated for my opinion. In no world is the third largest technology company in the world going to have an exhibit this small. They have a whole press conference scheduled, after all. Not unless they are saving their biggest unveilings for the press event itself... or unless their money isn’t coming from their consumer electronics division anymore.
Well, let’s look at the three products they have on display, at least.
One is the Blyth CD Master. It’s a CD player that rips the CDs when you first put them in, and then stores them on the system so you can play the files even with no CD. That... has been a thing for over ten years by now. What’s the real gimmick? Oh, it has a built-in FM/AM/ZM radio tuner? Wow, that’s... high tech...
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
The second is the Blyth Dream Weaver.
Yeah, you heard me right. The “Dream Weaver.”
It’s a helmet. That you put on. And helps you lucid dream, records your dreams and assists your sleep. It’s... just the Dreamtech helmet with a very slightly varied cosmetic style.
It doesn’t have a release date yet, since their design is so “new,” but I’m sure they’ll be targeting the same May Holidays that the Dreamtech helmet had been shooting for.
And I’m also sure this helmet has the same exact hidden provisions that the original design had, with its data collecting programs along with its ability to directly influence the dreams of the wearer. Only this time, they’ll package it differently instead of trying to hide it so that people think it’s a much safer option.
Not many people are over here by the Blyth booths, so maybe people aren’t biting when the company says it has created an all-new dream device in no way related to the one made by the company they purchased. In a nice world, this would be a surefire flop. But I don’t really consider this a nice world anymore.
To cement my great suspicion, the third item they have on display is a handheld video game console called the Bobcat Gold. I don’t get the name, but it’s a blocky, non-ergonomic little box that has some cutesy game demos you can try out. It’s absolutely nothing of interest, and nobody is currently trying it out.
So it’s an outdated CD player, a nothing handheld gaming system, and a reproduction of the scariest piece of technology to come along in decades that was involved in a citywide scandal so large it got the mayor arrested.
Hmm.
Looks a teensy bit off to me. I wonder if Blyth Industries has anything going on... I sure do wonder..................
R8PR was right to send me here to the tech expo to investigate, because I’m finding a whole lot here that I don’t like at all.