— Sleep, son, sleep ... — A woman in an old dress and a candle in her hand was gently stroking my hair. — You’re scared, aren’t you? Nasty boys! It is necessary to come up with such a thing — to take and push my boy off a bridge! We thought you’d drowned...If your sister hadn’t come running and Martin didn’t get you out of the river in time...She covered her face with her hands and cried. But then, abruptly, she wiped off her tears. But you survived, and that’s all that matters!

I’m tired. I want to know who this woman is, but I can’t move... And I’m falling into a dream so deep, I don’t even know how to get out of it...

***

— Fool—fool, show the tongue! Be-e!

A nasty freckled big man, teasing and throwing small stones, suddenly takes a bigger cobblestone and, swinging, makes a deceptive movement. I dodge and squat. They laugh at me. A girl of about ten years, runs and screams:

— Don’t touch him! You don't have to touch it! He’s good!

But the crowd of bullying boys pays absolutely no attention to the worried girl. And only stronger begins to throw small stones raised from under his feet.

— You are bad! Koti, run fast! — The girl sharply pulls my hand, trying to pull me out of the vicious circle. And she succeeds! We start with all legs rushing along the stone pavement away from this city!

— Come on, Koti! Quick! Don’t look back!

But I don’t listen and look back... My legs are tangled, and I’m falling...

The boyish pack that has caught up with us begins to kick me with their feet, saying:

— What a fool, did not run away through the bridge? You were told not to come to the town again! We don’t need mute freaks here!

The little girl bravely throws herself with her fists at the angry boys. But they ruthlessly push her away. I understand that I am on a bridge, and at the bottom there is a spring river with a fairly fast flow. The escape routes are blocked. I jump on the flimsy railing and, balancing on these weak handrails, I walk back and forth. The boys, leaving the girl alone, completely switch to me.

— I told you he was a fool. Who in their right mind would go there! — the freckled ringleader pushes the speech. And he starts to scare me with her big rock. I’m not afraid. But having swung once again, this freak did not keep his cobblestone in his hand. Having flown about three meters, the cobblestone hits me right in the face. The bubbling spring water draws me into its cold embrace. I feel like I’m being swept by an icy stream, like boiling water...

But suddenly a completely different picture floats before my eyes...

Such a beautiful and majestic, heart-sweet woman, with reverence looks straight into my eyes. Then everything circled around, and I fly under the high vaults of the strange room. And like a bolt out of the blue!

— To the health of the King’s son! — Hundreds of tinned throats are tearing the space apart with their loud screams, the echo of which is reflected from the stone vaults, and ends with my loud, ah-ah-ah! It sounds an irresistible desire to return to her, to my mother!

And then, darkness and a strange, hissing sound.

— Shh. Hush. S-strange... Why is he alive? This cannot be!

— If he was left life, it's not for us to argue with that!

— But he saw everything! He will tell everything! He will not tell... If he cannot speak... Never...

***

I opened my eyes. Stretched ... No, guys, where does it fit! Looks like they put me to sleep in a barn! Yes, and next to the pigs and goats. Or rather, one goat. Tiredly hatched creature, half a meter away from me. Hoping, apparently, to hypnotize me with his dull, goat—like gaze.

— Classmates are called! They themselves probably sleep in clean beds, but they threw me into this pigsty. And, no matter how, I paid for almost the entire party at the Merry Tavern. And here it is, gratitude. Senior! By the way, the manager was taken and thrown into a smelly barn! Definitely, everyone has already lined up and is waiting for me to leave here, and they will meet me with shouts, — SURPRISE!

— What is this! I looked at my hands, hidden behind long, dirty sleeves. — They also dressed me in rags. Well, they did it in vain. How they stink, it's just unbearable! For a week, it definitely does not come out ...

— Well, okay, what can you do now ... I'm already leaving, I'm leaving ... And now I'll arrange such a surprise for you ...

***

Before my eyes, everything was still blurry. As I staggered, I went out, barely opening the creaky doors.

No screaming classmates were observed. But the unclean mud was observed, simply unbelievable in its consistency! I once again glanced at my legs. It was a pathetic semblance of leather tights, and on top of it was a rag wrapped in rope.

Across the street was a small shack of rock and straw. It was old, worn out, and somehow covered in clay on the seams, or the same mud from under the feet. Windows were not at all.

— Yes, everything looks too authentic ... — I thought. Okay, time to get out of this shit.

Home shower, bath, TV again — great! And here — only cold and mud! You won't get another penny from me! Cursed fiends! — I cursed everything in the world, stepping almost barefoot in the spring muck.

While I jumped to the threshold of the next hut, I almost got frostbite on my legs. For this, in general, you need to beat in the face!

Before I had time, teeth chattering from the cold, to step over the threshold of a miserable shack and think about who to punish for such jokes, I myself got hit in that very face ...

— Oh, you dirty pig snout! What were you told? Do not go alone to this accursed city! What about you? Did you listen like that? Wait for it! Now I'll count your ribs!

From the blow, I flew over the threshold and plopped down with my whole body right into the icy slurry. But before I had time to get up somehow, this incomprehensible, thin, hunchbacked stuffed animal slapped me in the face for the second time. As a result, I, a hefty strong man, turned over in the air and laid my face straight into the mud.

— Oh, you creature! — For some reason, completely silently, I shouted. And he rushed to the drunk himself.

But this idiot just stuck out his hand and held me like that while I waved everything I could, keeping him away from my thin body. Forces turned out to be simply unmeasured in this scarecrow! And I, in my youth, easily knocking down men twice as big as me with my left hand, now helplessly jerked, not even reaching him with my hands!

Finally, the drunk got tired of it, and he said:

Are you going to snap at me? — Waved his hand at me, knocking out the lights to me.

***

I opened my eyes. My head hurt even more. I didn't need to drink that much crap! And then stupid dreams would not be dreamed! The whole table is filled with foreign booze, and they pour moonshine into me. Damn sadists. It seems that I even dreamed that I poisoned myself with it and died! Given the high degree of vigorous drink, this could well happen in reality ...

But, looking around, I realized that this was not quite a dream ... I was lying next to that same goat, next to the pigs. With only one amendment. I looked now not much better than the same pigs. And maybe even worse.

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Well, the strong old man got caught! At least a master of sports! How he deftly knocked me out, a big guy like that, with one blow. But I'm not touchy. No one has ever offended me, I have offended everyone myself ...

So. There is a door, there is dirt, and here is a man.

I was still staggering and saying nothing, just ran at this thin man. Hoping to knock the peasant down, but hitting his stooped figure like a concrete pillar, I myself fell back into the mud.

— What it is! I shouted in anger. But I'm not used to giving up.

And jumping on the man who was about to turn around on his back, I immediately decided to crush him. Although this, of course, I thought in vain ...

Although he is thin, he turned out to be very long! I never would have thought there were such giants! My legs barely reached his knees! And there was no question of strangling this stooped creature.

— Yes, what is happening! Either the man is healthy, or I'm small ... No, no! Of course, the man is just huge! Even though he's skinny...

He easily and simply took me by the ear, and pulled me off the back like a mischievous Koti. And then he gave such a kick that I, flying halfway through this filthy yard and stumbling on a threshold slippery with mud, crashed my forehead on a door frame that suddenly appeared before my eyes ...

***

And again a goat. And smelly pigs, already much cleaner than me, met my next awakening ... The big bump from hitting the joint with aching pain reminded me of recent events.

I could not understand how, having 120 kg of weight and almost two meters in height, I could not knock down that weirdo! Yes, I had to send him to the moon with such a run. But instead of him, for some reason, I flew into space!

Once again, I carefully touched the bump.

— Opa! And what else is this! — I felt a lush head of hair on my bald head!

— Wig? I tried to take it off, but it held on tight. They glued it on, didn't they? Here are the bastards! I'm sure that bastard was also hired to piss me off. They wanted to show that I'm not the coolest in the class!

Well, yes, then I became cool when I was at the institute. Even won the national championship! And in the class, I was just a skinny nerd. This is how life has been. But that was the end of my sports career. Before I got married, the children were born ... And this is in the 5th year of study at the institute! I had to work for three. There was no other way out ... But I kept in shape all the time. Exercises, gym and everything in the same vein ... But as it turned out, this was not enough, if all sorts of drunks throw me so easily and effortlessly against the jambs. Although I must admit, these drunks are incredibly strong ...

I really wanted to eat. Something terrible was happening in the stomach. But it was somehow scary to leave the barn, which had become almost native. For the first time in 20 years, I was really scared.

Still glancing apprehensively at the doors, I stroked my growling belly. Like, calm down, brother, now we'll think of something! Not understood! Where's my office belly?! I picked up my linen shirt and was speechless...

— Belly! Where are you? No wonder my stomach was going crazy. Incomprehensible skin and bones, glued to the spine, appeared before my eyes. Without hair. I untied my pants and was horrified by what I saw...

— Yes ... It's better not to return to my wife with such a thing ... At least she will laugh at me ... — I quickly took off all my clothes to the delight of the goat, who began to fervently sing her be—be—be.

I examined myself carefully. These are clearly not alcoholic glitches, but something worse ... I put my hand on my forehead. Maybe I have delirium tremens?

         Ouch! — I wanted to scream from pressing on a painful lump on my head.

But instead, I just hummed a little.

— I don’t understand… Greka rode across the river ... — I tried to pronounce a tongue twister, but could not utter a word ...

Wow... Now the horned Kotitle with its incessant moo looked like a polyglot in front of me! What am I supposed to do?!

I’m thin, it’s strange that I’m still alive with such a diet, now looked at most like a fourteen—year—old dumb teenager!

***

— No, well, you look! He shows his manhood to the goat! — Terrible as death, the old woman went into the barn with a bucket. Apparently, to milk this same goat. — Get dressed, otherwise you exposed the shame! Where does it fit!

I quickly pulled on my trousers, which were heavy with mud, and threw on my shirt.

— Well! What, foundling, stared at me? Pigs will not clean up their own houses. Or should I call Martin, let him once again show how to clean up? So he didn’t sleep all night anyway, he fulfilled orders so that you, the foundling, would have something to eat!

— What are you talking about with your filthy tongue! Old bastard! — Forgetting that I can not say a word, I started yelling at her. Where is my cruiser? Keep in mind, there are a lot of trackers on it, and two thousand dollars remained in the purse! Quickly you, creatures, will be calculated! Yes, what nonsense! White roses, white roses, defenseless thorns... — I didn't manage to make any sound except m—m and uh. But in terms of vocabulary, I finally almost caught up with the goat standing next to me.

The old woman waited until I waved my hands and sighed, and then waved her hand.

— Come on! I understand! Not made with a finger. I myself was a mischievous child ... And worse than you, such a brat ... And don't be angry with your father! Do you know how scared he was for you yesterday? The men held his trousers by the trousers so that he would not climb into this ice drift. And your mother wouldn't let you either! And he threw off those same trousers and dived anyway, fool! Although I don’t understand why ... You’re not their own, after all. And the breed is not his! Look at him, how proud he is! He puffed out his chest and looks like a wolf. You'd better not glare, but go and thank your father. I would say — thank you, I will never forget! Yes, and you would ask for forgiveness from your father. And he's pleased, and it's beneficial for you... But you won't tell... Even if you could, you still wouldn't say... Ugh! I'm just talking to myself. Go ahead and clean up the pigs! There, ungrateful, is your place! — Grandma said as she cut it off. — And that he, in that stinking city, runs every day, looks out for ...

— So. If it's a performance, well, I've heard, it happens, they play people. That's all clear. One thing is not clear. Who am I? Why am I so small, and why am I small. I tugged at my tightly glued hair again. No, I don't sleep...

***

It doesn't matter if it was a dream or reality, but I need to get to the car. And then I will decide what to do next!

The old woman was indeed milking the goat and paid no attention to me. I looked out into the yard again. There was a fence around, about two meters, and behind it was a dense forest. There was only one way left for me — to run through this Uncle Tom's cabin. Or, to be more precise, Martin's hut. And there, it will be seen!

The restaurant complex, as far as I remember, consisted of similar guest houses. Maybe not with such a terrible wall decoration as on the back, but on the other hand ... This is not a facade, and it will do! Again, saving money... And there, in the center, near the restaurant, was my favorite car. Well let's go...

I obviously got excited with the "let's go" ... My head was spinning with hunger. And I, barely hobbling, reached the door of the stone building. And slowly, I looked inside. It seems quiet ... And here is the door opposite. Something made me feel really bad. It's not surprising, with such a thin face and a huge bump on his head...

There was a wooden table in a spacious, semi-dark room. But it was completely empty. To the left of the door, apparently, was a workshop. Possibly sewing. But there were no sewing machines. Only scary-looking scissors, and blanks cut into patterns. I did not get hung up on the atmosphere of this strange shed, but went towards the door. I pulled the handle — the door was open ...

***

There was dirt in front of me.

But it was not the same dirt as in the yard. Compared to what I saw on the street, this is no longer dirt at all, but blackness under the nails...

Frightened, I closed the doors back.

So! Get it together! Get out and find your car! — My inner voice told me. The car is right there somewhere. Behind this dirt or the next one... But it exists, it cannot be absent!

But the car was nowhere to be found. Instead, there was just an incredible amount of all sorts of ancient technology around. Horses, carts. Horses again... Armed to the teeth men-at-arms... Even if it was some kind of staging, fantastic money was spent on an endless stream, a couple of kilometers long! And it certainly didn't look like a stupid prank on my brainless classmates...

***

— Matchmakers again... Ugh. The girl is only 13! And he gives her in marriage ... No, it's simply incomprehensible. Where is this world going...

So, where does he go? The treasury is empty, and war is not cheap! And so the monster has already taken the last trousers for taxes!

— And what are you hatched, drowned? Did you Kotich a fish while swimming? I feel that soon we will eat ourselves! Or a pot-bellied little thing like you! And in general, it’s not good to eavesdrop when the elders are talking!

A pair of very old, simply dressed old men, standing nearby, followed with an envious glance another creaky cart full of dowries. The cart rolled along the spring slush in the direction of the ancient castle, which can be seen literally a kilometer away.

— Koti, Koti! A scream was heard from behind. — Woke up at last. Did you go out to stare at the train of the groom? How do you feel, did you Kotich a cold for an hour? And where did you manage to put such a bump?

Why are you silent? — In the woman who called me, I recognized that yesterday's woman from a strange dream. She also called me son.

— Woman, can you explain everything to me? What’s going on here, — I mumbled, waving my arms emotionally. — And where is my black land cruiser, gone? Two thousand dollars were still stored there, by the way! Where is it all?! And why is it so dirty in here? And, everywhere! — To prove my words, a lump of dirt fell off the wheel and flew right into my face. I could not stand it, sat down and cried. I didn't cry for 20 years, and then suddenly...

— Well, well, son, everything will be fine! Do not worry. I'll show Martin how to offend my kitten! Do you know why we called you Koti? When you were thrown to us, a Koti was embroidered on your diaper. And the Koti was such an interesting one, all in spots. We don't have those. All the local Kotis are big, striped... And almost all of them were killed... — the woman sighed. — Okay, Koti, let's go, I just bought some fresh bread. Smell how it smells! And I'll warm up the stew and give you bread! And there your sister and father will return. He was looking for your yesterday's offenders. Where to find them...

The woman sat down next to me and hugged me very tightly. I didn't have the strength to push her away. And I, not knowing why, put my head on her shoulder.

Okay, I thought, suddenly relieved. — Let's play your strange game. I don't seem to have any other options anyway...