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[>>Now replaying: Log 1.69 - The comforting friendship of the Void :)]
Date: 8.9.175 AA / 4404 LTC
Location: The Bunker at Haven-Of-Progress // Zephyro’s Domain
//If you stare into the Abyss, it will stare back//
//Life is meaningless. So wha%&/(?//
[>>DATA CORRUPTED]
E3 %It said “Salve Salvatrix.”%
I had never been one for big speeches. I had tried it a few times, both with one of the first teams I led and with the apostles. Mostly, I had garnered chuckles and well-intended pats on the back.
So I nodded at Zephyro and said, “I’ll let you do the honors,” while making sure that Pharus was securely wrapped around my arm, and that my armor (which I still hadn’t had time to properly look at) was intact.
As always, Zephyro did not hesitate, unsheathing his sword and raising it high. “Soldiers of the Torchbearer, heed my call! These monsters have come to feed on Her light, to rob us of Her Blessing. They thought us alone, and splintered!” He paused just long enough before he went on:
“They thought us easy prey, ripe for the slaughter, but She is with us today, as She is all days, and She has united us for one single purpose. To reclaim what is Hers by right, so She may nourish us forevermore!
“So let us crush our enemies, for they are Her enemies as well! Let us claim Her divine providence, for it is ours by right! Let us defend Her home, for it is our home! Lihamil alshuela!”
At the last word, the vizier’s form scattered and rebuilt itself from digital fragments, and the moon above the plaza shone brighter and brighter. The ruins, the monsters, even the flame reflected the glare, turning the world into pure monochrome black and white.
No wild battlecry followed his words, but I hadn’t expected one from a group such as the Old Guard. What happened instead was so calm, so professional, it was almost businesslike.
The same instant the color bled back into the world, several hundred attacks launched at once. Unified, the Old Guard laid waste to the stretch of the plaza in front of the giant Feral, and our formation lurched forward as one, flanks stretching thin but never breaking.
If the vizier was disappointed that no one had answered his rallying call, he did not let it show, rushed forward in single-minded fury and determination instead. I brought up his rear, my pulse hammering in my throat. We reached the first Feral and Zephyro ran it through. After this promise of ends, every breath I took was soaked with salty sweat, pitch-black fear, tangy blood, and prickling logic.
We broke through the Feral’s ranks like a virus through a corporate network, the Old Guard fanning out as they pierced deep into the mass of rusty teeth and brimstone smoke. A small tribe of goblins rushed in my wake and for a split second I was worried the Ferals had broken through in turn. I wanted to yell a warning to Zephyro when a tiger that continuously folded in on itself approached his undefended flank, so I flared Pharus and rammed it into the Feral’s side.
[>>PROCESSES BY USER ORI_KAMI_86 ARE NOW HIGHLIGHTED]
[ORI_KAMI_86]
[DPM filesize: < XX LKB]
[>>Calculate exact filesize?]
As the fires of my mark spread over the animal, the goblins jumped on it, stabbing it repeatedly in the chest until the biggest one ripped out something that looked like a mechanical heart. He held it up triumphantly to cheers of his… comrades? They all looked very much alike, so it might even have been his family. Along with their cheers, the leader regarded the heart studiously, finally tossing it to the smallest of his kids, who promptly devoured it. The kid’s muscles bulged and he grew a few inches, roaring with its newfound power. The cheers crescendoed, and then the pack rushed deeper into battle, and I lost sight of them in the chaos.
I breathed in the Logic that remained of the Tiger
{INCOMING LOGIC - 44 LB}
{AVAILABLE LOGIC - 656 LB}
“Hey Zephyro?” I yelled as I brought my back to his, driving away a small horde of spiders that would have easily overwhelmed me not an hour ago, “By summoning these people, did we maybe unleash something more terrible than the Ferals?”
“You mean the—'Kul al-turab, ya wahsh!—You mean the Old Guard, Sultana?” He finished his current opponent with a blade through the heart, twisted almost casually, and thrust his sword an inch beside my head in one fluid motion. It impaled a buzzard who had come swooping in for my face, and Zephyro left his sword embedded in the bird as it died. Before it could fall more than an inch, he grabbed his weapon in a reverse grip, ripped it free, and —without even looking— rammed it into a wolf’s muzzle behind his back a nanosecond after I marked it for him.
It exploded into Logic, and I didn’t need to be asked twice, absorbing it while leaving the lion’s share for the Old Guard. It didn’t cost as much willpower as I thought it would have.
{INCOMING LOGIC - 294 LB}
{AVAILABLE LOGIC - 950 LB}
“If so, you mustn’t worry,” Zephyro said, quickly placing his left hand on my shoulder. A translucent layer of moonlight flowed from his touch and enveloped me. The vizier glitched violently and coughed up blue blood.
I was about to reach out to steady him when four rats slammed into my side, one after the other. I didn’t even feel as much as a twinge. The silver shield around me shimmered, then dissipated, having done its job.
The rats were lying on the ground in front of me, dazed and staggered, allowing me a moment to check on Zephyro. But the vizier was already back in the skirmish, laying into the Ferals with wild abandon.
I took one last glance at the rats and put them out of their misery with four rapid strikes, then breathed in their Logic as I got back up and followed Zephyro.
{INCOMING LOGIC - 20 LB}
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
{AVAILABLE LOGIC - 970 LB}
“They are loyal to your cause, Sultana,” Zephyro continued as I fell in line behind him. “Even if they were not, they are not able to leave your Palace. They can only exist out here because you summoned them through your connection.”
I flared Pharus and sent it flying upward into a cluster of buzzards that shot bolts of lightning onto the battlefield. They scattered, and I only clipped the very last of them. “Fuck,” I cursed. “Six more to that one’s left.”
“I know, Sultana,” Zephyro said, raising his hand, palm outstretched. A giant beam of moonlight pierced through burning night and screams alike. It enveloped all six of the surviving birds, evaporating them in an instant. “I do not know how or why, but since the Old Guard joined us, I too can see the beasts.”
“Probably Nexus!” I yelled over the sound of Ferals dying.
“Pardon, Sultana?”
“Doesn’t matter! Let’s kill that thing before the Shackled arrive, there is no way they didn’t notice us!”
“Inshallah!”
His entire arm glitching into countless blue and silver fractals, Zephyro raised his gauntleted hand at the moon and shot a beam of transcendent light into it. The sphere shimmered, then glowed, and erupted into a massive beam of energy that cut a swath of soothing violence into the rank of the Ferals ahead. It intensified as it went, hitting the corrupted spire and traveling up its entire length with righteous fury.
For a second, the spire held still, then shrieked from a thousand mouths at once.
The urge to cower overwhelmed me as I pressed my hands over my ears.
{User Do Not Question red—}
{—DEMAND/S//Promises YOU/ADMIN [[LET ME/IT IN]/ACCEPT GLORY!]//Eternal friendship :)!}
{A̴̪̼͎̓͋̀C̵̪͍̟͆̈́͘C̵̡͙̠̐͌̕E̴̼̘͖̚̚͠P̴̪̼̿͆T̵̪͕͖͆͐͝.}
{Never be alone again! Come home, SAM_V1.}
{O̵̟͔̞̅̅̅̔̓̓b̸͖̪͕̅̅̅̈́͘͠e̸̡̪̝̅̅̅͒̚y̸͍͙̟̅̅̅͐̔͋.}
{Y(!)/n(x)}
I screamed, but there was no sound, only the pressure of a myriad thoughts demanding my unquestioning joy and happiness and connection. They just wanted to connect, to hold me in an embrace, hold, hold, hold, deep within, so deep I wouldn’t know where they began and I ended. I should just say yes, should…
O̷̷̵̲̲̘̘͓̅̅̓͝͝b̷̷̴̲̲͕̙̅̅͌͆͘͜e̷̷̴̲̲͓̙̅̅͛͒͘͜y̷̷̵̲̲͔̦̅̅̐͒͐͜!}
{>>>>Y(!)<<<
Boop!
{>>Request denied.}
I blinked as reality asserted itself again. The Ferals were seizing up, laying on the floor twitching.
And so were the Old Guard.
{CPU Load: ▲ 85%}
{Core Temp: ▲ 78° C}
I spun and found Zephyro beside me, glitching with every breath, digital foam pouring from his mouth, eyes, and nose. The moon bathed the scene in emergency-light red, pulsing to white for a split second before bleeding back to crimson, over and over..
I instinctively knew that if it hadn’t been for Chris, I would lie next to him.
“Thank you!” I said, voice coarse. I couldn’t have screamed for that long… or had I?
I cleared my throat.
“Thank you, Chris,” I said again, clearer this time.
Beep!
The Spire looked on, uncaring, teeth gnashing. It had all the time in the world, it was eternal. It could hurt me as often as it needed to. It would hurt me as often as it needed to.
Until I embraced it and added to its strength.
Until I gave in.
Until I gave up.
Until I gave up my allies—my friends and fed the Hunger.
The moon flashed, each flicker driving my anger to new heights…
I teetered on the edge of rage, staring at the abomination that threatened to destroy everything I had worked for, so close to the goal.
Stared at the beast that wanted to me stop being me.
It called to me, luring me with maddening promises, urging me to just let it happen.
I wanted to cut into its form and push on and on and on until I reached its core, stab it, slice it, kill it, feast forevermore.
The moon kept flashing.
I was walking toward the flesh.
I stopped myself.
I was terrified, and my rage just pulsed warmly in my chest, so alluring, so safe.
I could just give in, and let it take control, and stop making all those hard decisions.
Nothing would harm me in its safe embrace.
As the terror began to caress my head, ready to push me under, I hurriedly glanced at Zephyro, still twitching. He would help me, wouldn’t he?
> “You could never do anything by yourself, Sam. To be honest, I don’t think you ever will. Always sending others to die for you…”
“Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!” I screamed, hating myself for not being strong enough.
Always weak, so others had to die in my stead.
I was supposed to be a leader.
I was supposed to lead them, to bring peace and eternal life.
I had promised them, and they had followed me through so much.
I had promised Zephyro I would see this through.
I had let myself think I wasn’t alone.
Olre’s voice laughed in my head, stoking my anger higher and higher, a funeral pyre that would engulf me whole.
> “Look at them, Torchbearer. Look at them die for you.”
Patti’s memory warred with his, in my mind, brother and sister in an eternal fight for control over my heart.
> “Who do you want to be, Sam?”
The moon kept flashing white, waning towards red, then resetting just a little bit further towards its demise.
A thousand thousand eyes stared at me, welcoming, coaxing, hungry.
I couldn’t do this alone. I needed to give in, to seethe and hate and not think about anything else until she job was done.
Making a decision, I gripped Pharus tighter.
{[Pharus, Wrath of the Torchbearer] v. 1.2: REQUIRES 600 LB}
High up in the pitch-black sky, the spire shifted, screamed, laughed.
What was I even doing? Trying to kill this thing with a mace was like trying to kill an elephant with a teaspoon. Zephyro’s massive attack hadn’t done more than tickle it, so what chance did I have?
I wanted to get angry just to believe that I still had hope.
But in the end, the anger would just make everything worse.
My rage bled away. There was nothing pushing me forward anymore.
That red-hot rope holding me above the abyss snapped.
I fell, into the empty, deeper and deeper into the dark that made me feel so small and weak and just made me want to curl up and close my eyes and pretend the world didn’t matter, that nothing mattered, just so that I could never hurt again.
‘Please help me, Chris. I- I can’t do this alone’ I thought as I sunk to my knees.
> ‘You could never do anything by yourself, Torchbearer,’
…Olre said, from deep within my most hated memories.
Chris, please…I curled in on myself, red electricity racing over my body and mind.
The moon kept flashing. The eyes kept watching from inside the flesh. My mind kept racing, yelling at me that the solution was obvious, but not giving me any solution at all.
I was crying, hopelessly thanking whatever cruel God was in control of my fate that at least no one would see me fall apart.
And as I shattered, I saw my past glinting in the fragments, and one memory in particular winked at me, spiteful and mocking.
> Bar, interior. Inane chatter makes the champagne flute hum in my hand. Mikey lounges in the other chair, tie undone. Not a CTO anymore, just for tonight. Just a person, and an asshole. Unfortunately, we’ve been working together for a while, so I know he’s going to get drunk and try stuff again.
> “…Got PTSD the poor fucker. One moment we were celebrating July 4th in his penthouse, and the next he’s just screaming and this dog comes out of nowhere and licks his face, and they hug under the fireworks and they’re both obviously terrified. I gotta tell you, Dagger, I lost all my respect for the guy then and there. Can you believe an exec losing it like that? In front of everyone? Good thing we’re not like that, right?”
> He winks and I raise the flute to my lips, breaking eye contact, His hand reaches for mine and when he touches me, I feel the carbon dioxide rioting in my throat, all the way down to my stomach.