I am weak. I knew that from a very young age, and it has been embedded into my mind ever since.

Because I, myself, am weak, I had to surround myself with strong people to hide and supress that weakness.

I think back in my old life, people thought I was the optimistic, social type.

But that again was a fake mask I wore to hide my true self. I am terribly, almost laughably incompetent and tried my best to hide that.

Even now, that belief is still firmly embedded into my head.

But apart from that, something else also haunts my dreams, even now.

Even if I try to hide it at the back of my head, the thought still creeps into my mind. Oh how I wish I could just forget.

That day. That horrid, horrid day.

It seemed just like any other day.

I woke up, feeling nervous and groggy. Here came another day where I had to hide the true me, and act like someone else who society would find more acceptable.

Every day, every single day.

I take a deep, depressive sigh and dress up. Shirt, tie, pants, belt.

After dressing, I grab my phone, wallet, and backpack before marching downstairs, microwaving some food, and leaving the house.

As I walk through the mundane streets, the lack of people noticing the homeless man right under their noses breaks my heart. I walk to him and give him my hot breakfast before opening my wallet and giving him my $20 note. The unfortunate man looks up at me in disbelief.

"T- Thank you so much young man", he says, his voice full of passion and gratefulness.

"No problem sir. It is a pleasure to help you," I reply, happy to support the less fortunate. I sit down next to him and chat for a while, before excusing myself to get to school on time.

The only thing stronger than my insecurities was my justice.

Even as a child, that flame of justice burned brightly.

However, my opinions never seemed to match with anyone else.

I vividly remember that one time an argument started because I voiced my opinion.

"It was super funny when Falco got hit by her own trap and died instantly."

"Thats not fair! Falco was just trying to protect the forest and her children!"

"What’s wrong with you, Ray?"

"Yeah. You're so weird. We were all laughing when Super boy killed Falco's babies in front of her, saying they would make great fried chicken, but you looked sad for some reason."

"No wonder he has no friends."

"Yeah, if he likes villains so much, he must be one!"

"RayPoo!"

"RayPoo!"

"RayPoo the loser!"

"Guys-"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"Run! The evil monster is gonna eat us!"

"..."

“…”

Although I should have kept quiet, I got mad and told the teacher, but she just laughed and said it was just a little game.

I think that was the exact moment I realised some thoughts were best kept quiet, but it only ended up strengthening my sense of seemingly warped justice.

Maybe that was also the incident that made me like this.

After that, I sat alone by myself for most of middle school and didn't have many friends.

Only when high school started, did I decide I should change my image. I went to a school a bit further away so no one would notice me and tried to act as the popular kid.

Mark my words, it sure did work.

But I never opened to even the closest of my friends, afraid that they would reject the real me.

So every day, I lived under that wretched mask.

Anyways on my walk to school, a beautiful girl caught my attention. Her name was Rena, and it was commonly agreed that she was the prettiest girl in school. It would be hard to describe her in one word. She seemed both aloof and friendly at the same time. I felt like idolising her, yet at the same time, I feared her for some reason.

Dazed in thought, I noticed it far too late.

Rena was crossing the road, her eyes glued onto her phone. Although it was green light, I saw a rogue car appear on the intersection, seemingly not slowing down despite the girl a few metres in front of me.

That's exactly when my body decided to move on its own.

Though my mind was frozen from sheer shock, my body moved instinctively, and I sprinted up to her, and shoved Rena as far away as I could, sacrificing my own pathetic life in the process...

...Two months later, I woke up in hospital with an IV drip strapped along my arm. I was injured, but well and alive. Rena, on the other and, died a gruesome death.

When I first heard this from the doctor’s mouth, shock overwhelmed my body, then immeasurable guilt.

Guilt.

So much guilt.

So much of it.

All come pouring into me at once.

According to the doctor, the driver suddenly noticed me, and quickly attempted to avoid me, swivelling to the left...

...where Rena lay on the floor, confused about what was happening. The car crushed her ribs instantly, but she was still conscious. I heard that she suffered, laying there, unable to move or even scream in pain. When the ambulance came, it was too late. The blood loss was far too great.

As if sensing my guilt, the doctor told me the only good news, though I’m not sure if it really could be considered 'good'.

Around 2 minutes after getting crushed by that car, Rena's brain entered some state of trauma-rejecting process and erased her memory of that incident.

Perhaps she will not remember that abhorrent sight in the afterlife.

However, that did not change the fact that I was the one who killed her.

If I had done nothing, she would have been fine, but I- I was the one who killed her.

What sort of justice could I uphold if this was the result of my futile attempts?

So as a final act of punishment and atonement, I decided to take my own life, and forge my soul in the depths of hell.

After that, my memory becomes vague and murky. It felt like I was floating in lukewarm water for a while.

…And then, I open my eyes.

“The summoning was a success!”

I hear an unfamiliar voice say something. For some reason, the man’s words are out of sync with the movement of his mouth.

Hero!" I hear the man applaud. His overall attire: a combination ebullient green robes and a grey hooded robe with runic engravings make me think of a certain character; or to be more specific, a certain class in video games, one that was especially popular in the world-class immersive online rpg, Skyl Online.

Mage.

But what happened?

Why- when I ended my life, I woke up in an unknown place?

I look around, analysing and critiquing my surroundings.

The wall around me is etched with strange runes. However, for some reason, I manage to read it.

Summoning room

Hmm?

Everything only begins to get even more confusing. Summoning room?

But in what situation would I need to be in to commit suicide, only to wake up in a summoning room?

I wasn’t possibly resurrected from the dead, only to be bought here, right?

Confused and utterly bemused, I only manage to stutter out my yearning question.

“Where am I?” I question.

The mage answers my inquiry. “Hero, you were summoned from your world to our kingdom in order to fend off the Demon Lord when the great war begins”

Still confused, I pressure for more information, until I am content with the responses, and viably aware of my situation.

Apparently, there has been tension among the demon and human communities for many decades. The demons wanted to take over the kingdom of Alzania to secure a geographically and economically strategic position that would allow them to slowly push back and take more land.

Alzania was also the closest country to the Demon continent, which spurred the Demon Lord to act and finally start preparing an army for war. Currently, Alzania is losing the war as a county can only do so much against a continent. Although Alzania is getting reinforcements from other kingdoms, they feared it was not enough, and needed an individual with immense power to hold off the demons.

And so, I was summoned here.

I am weak. That I will admit, but I have learned to live with this weakness. Let it be a burden I must carry on my shoulders if I must, but I will take one step at a time, and keep on moving forwards.

Let others laugh and ostracise me, let them do whatever they want.

But this is the life I will live. I may be weak, but my will; my determination is not. I will truly make this world peaceful and defuse the rising tensions between humans and demons.