Animals! They’d filled the maze with nothing but the bones of beasts, and there was nary a skill residue to be found. The occasional humanoid corpse was littered throughout, but they were always hard to get to. Because whichever dork created this place encased the layers of bone in unmelting ice.

I first sensed something useful from a skull that looked elven—at least I hoped it was elven, otherwise the remains were a child's—near the surface of a block of what I dubbed “eternal ice”. The magic ice was hard to break through, even for my skeletal knight. After wasting far too long to get out a jawbone, my glorious reward was a skill for trenching. Trenching, as in a person who specifically was a master at building crap canals for troops. I added a tooth to my necklace on principle, but I cussed while I did it.

Who knows when that skill might come in handy? Not me, that’s for sure.

The ice explained why roving bands of ghouls hadn’t eaten all the bones at least. More than that, the bizarre frost was cool. As in, absolutely freezing. Hoarfrost constantly grew around our metal weapons and implements. And, if I hadn’t already been undead, I got the impression I would be in grave danger from continued exposure. I was profoundly grateful that none of us got frostbite. I checked Handybro frequently to make sure it didn’t get that nasty black coloring such wounds presented. Having a member of the crew looking so tacky as to not know what gloves are, just wasn’t in the cards.

One of the more interesting theories about why the Zu-Rakan died out was because of a divine cursed ice age. The author of the phallus book ridiculed the premise because undead didn’t need heat to sustain themselves. Yet, here I was in the Ossuary surrounded by thousands of years old ice. Given that the bluish clear crystals blocked my sense undead spell, but not my greater necrometry blessing, I believed the god enacted ice age theory was probable.

The maze hadn’t just taught me about historical cataclysms and shit pits. I also learned that plants could be undead. For whatever reason, until now, the thought had never occurred to me that a tree or mushroom might also be a zombie. But after considering the issue, there was no reason I could account for that said they shouldn’t.‌ I knew that there were varieties of parasitic fungi on earth that mimicked undead behavior, but the organisms in those cases were still living. Instead, what I found here was a dead ass plant that attacked and converted animals.

My first encounter was with a rotting gray mushroom that leaked a sap that looked like blood. The colony had taken over a family of gigantic spiders, and sent them at us with abandon. Those plants hadn’t given a lick of butt that we were also undead, either.

Not that I minded.

Truth be told, getting instantly attacked was thrilling. With my two comrades in arms, or disturbing horrors eternally bound to my will if you prefer, I almost felt like a real life adventurer!

I practiced my new spear mastery on the arachnids, sweeping their legs, and stabbing them in their vitals. Often, my slowness made a fair fight impossible, but thankfully I didn’t have to do it that way. My skeleton turned out to be as good at lopping off legs as it was at heads. Anything that looked ready to scratch my new armor got amputated, then turned into a spaghetti strainer.

That last bit wasn’t on purpose, per se. The issue was that I had a hard time locating their rather small brains, and by the time I usually did, the creatures were more pincushion than enemy. Still, spider zombies gave a bountiful amount of mana.

The mushrooms were more difficult to dispose of. My first attempt had me just bashing them apart with my new hammer, but the expected mana never came. At first, I hypothesized the mushrooms were just too low level to give me a reward. But It hurt me too much to give up and move on, knowing that there was the possibility of sweet progression just waiting to be reaped. Especially when it couldn’t fight back. That was my favorite flavor.

Next, I tried to light a few on fire with the magic candle I’d stolen from Pollina. That left behind a terrible smelling charred mess, and I still didn’t get mana. Saddened, and with no other ideas, I commanded my bodyguard to wipe out the remaining mushroom patch out of pure spite. Unexpectedly, my apparently smarter servant launched its khopesh into the ground and ripped up squirming black roots. Once I cut that up, I got an unbelievable mana rush.

Hey! I can quit anytime I want to!

The three of us worked in tandem, with my two minions ripping up the frosty ground and me using my enchanted dagger on the tubers like a chef. When all was said and done, I’d straight jumped two tiers!

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Which was also a bit of a shock, because I’d expected to go to level four. Thus far, I’d had three tiers per a level, and a fourth signaled that there would be more tiers in my future per a level. It was disappointing that I wouldn’t evolve straight away, but I still couldn’t wait to see what my path would provide. I sat down right there on the cold ground and jumped into my codex.

You have sufficient mana to advance a tier II → IV

Please choose a trait for your tier III.

* Infectious Blood - your blood carries a deadly pathogen, contact can infect a creature with zombification.

* Crushing Bite - your bite can crush bone, bend metal, and rend flesh. Your teeth are reinforced.

* Spore Colony - you have a fungal growth that causes intense sneezing and itching to living creatures near you. May be lethal to those with breathing issues.

* Hardy Bones - your skeletal structure is infused with death mana, making it harder to injure.

* Masking Smell - you block the scent of yourself and nearby undead, making it easier to surprise the living.

I was so pumped for this choice! The first three were as crappy as they were the last time I saw them. Oh, but those last two!

Swoon!

Being harder to hurt was never a bad thing. One of the principal advantages of selecting zombie was the robust toughness. I’d already felt a substantial increase in both my strength and toughness since the transformation, but I had still wondered if any tier selections would upgrade that core foundation. Thankfully, with Hardy Bones, that looked to be the case. The only drawback I could see to taking the trait was that I’d just found a full set of leather armor that sort of did the same thing.

Contrarily, Masking Smell did nothing for direct personal survivability, yet I couldn’t help but think it was just as good. Even though I made virtually no noise when I walked, creatures like ghouls and the skeletal knight continued to detect me somehow. One of the easiest explanations, particularly regarding the ghouls, was that they could track my scent. This trait would make that impossible! Further, and perhaps most important of all, I’d never have to smell that horrid ghoul blood ever again.

I had a hard time deciding between the two, but in the end, it was fellowship that drove my choice.

Without being insensitive, I’d noticed for some time that my ghoul claw had a, shall we say, issue concerning its fragrance. As time wore on, my poor minion’s aroma became more dire and I didn’t know how to confront it. Picking up dirt, dust, and entrails from the floor had done it no favors. Sure, I’d tried to give it a proper manicure with my limited tools, but my efforts did little. Also, the leaking stinky hole from Rosamund’s sword had just made a mess of my errant apprentice. Patching up the incision with a bow-tied ribbon had only made it visually pleasing, and did nothing to hide the odor.

And so, it was with kindness in mind that I chose Masking Smell as my tier three choice.

Godspeed, my handsome boy. May I never have to smell your fusty feelers ever again.

Please choose a level 3 spell. Refusal to pick a spell will eliminate the possibility of selecting new spells from the Tome of the Mad Prophet Derzalha at later levels.

* Aura of Dread - you emit an aura that causes living creatures to become afraid.

* Famine - you cause food and plants to spoil in an area.

Two of the three spells the codex offered before. I’d already spent a fair enough brain power going over these two before, so I just went with my gut this time and took Famine. The major reason I wanted the spell was because of the power it offered as a weed killer. Now, here I was in a weird icy bone maze surrounded by the very prey I sought! Of course, would spoiling already rotten plants work? There was only one way to find out.

I finished my selection and pulled up my status.

Name: Oran Farrow

Race: Undead

Level: 3

Tier: Zombie - IV

Level Advantages:

* Rigor Mortis - you can selectively use your stiffening limbs to achieve a death grip or relax it to increase motor function.

* Spring Forward - you can make a quick one second run or jump forward. Usable once a minute.

* Necrotic Fortitude - your body becomes much more difficult to injure.

Tier Traits:

* Halted Decay - significantly reduces your rate of decay.

* Verminbane - you emit an aura that repels non-magical vermin.

* Poisonous Gas - your stomach builds up a toxic gas that you can expel once a day.

* Skulking Lurcher - your feet make no noise when you move.

* Masking Smell - you block the scent of yourself and nearby undead, making it easier to surprise the living.

Spells:

* Level 1: Sense Undead - extend your sense to locate undead near you.

* Level 2: Reanimate Hand - reanimate the hand of a corpse to assist you.

* Level 3: Degenerating Touch - you disrupt the mana flows of a creature, weakening its physical strength for a short time.

* Level 3: Famine - you cause food and plants to spoil in an area.

Blessings:

* Necrometry - you can now sense and use skills from the bones of the dead.