Slumped against a wall, I stared down at the splattered ghoul corpse. I wasn’t physically exhausted, but emotionally, I was out of sorts.

My most recent ghoul trap went awry, because the stinky bastard had been stronger than the five I’d murdered. Its speed was such that it almost escaped the robe, tearing right through it with its taloned hands. The follow up slice nearly eviscerated me, leaving a large handed rend across my leather breastplate. Worse, the force of the attack sent me stumbling away, and it had almost freed itself. With the risk of it escaping, I’d had no choice but to tackle the beast and stab it to death. The melee had been sloppy, and frankly terrifying. Now, with claw and knife holes riddling the garment, the robe was useless to me.

And I still hadn’t leveled!

A single ghoul was all that it would take for me to evolve. This last had pushed me right to the very edge, and I hated it all the more for not being enough.

I was at a loss about what to do. Battle tactics and combat ‌were not my forte. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had no hangups about shanking a bitch—the problem was that the deeper I went into the ghoul warrens, the stronger they got. And I could probably kill one if I ambushed it, but not without taking damage. As an undead corpse with no ability to heal myself, I was far too afraid to risk it. Any cut, slice, stab, or break was permanent. Losing limbs was the opposite of what I wanted to accomplish in this new life.

Standing up, I shuffled over to my latest victim and kicked the robe turned body sheet off of its corpse. I knew using the defiled clothing was a lost cause, but I had the mental itch to make sure. I couldn't help but stare at those long, black claws. Supposedly, they had a toxin in them that would paralyze a living creature so the gutter monsters could eat living flesh. The spade-like shape of the fingernails was ideal for ripping out flesh as it was injecting venom, too. They were a cruel weapon for a repulsive creature, but no one could argue against their effectiveness.

I’d been less than an inch away from having my entrails decorate my boots. A notion I kind of found depressing. I know I don’t really need them for anything, but the old numbles had a fair bit of sentimental value.

Wait, why can’t I use them? Not the entrails, I mean the talons!

Suddenly excited, I reached down and started cutting off a claw with my enchanted knife. Black blood spurt across the stone floor, but thankfully none of the foul liquid came near me. I was really getting sick of the stuff.

Once I finished removing the hand, I cast Reanimate Hand. My original boney bro hanging out in the hole above me collapsed as the magical tether connecting it to me snapped shut. In its place, a new link formed to my upgraded ghoul hand.

Pumping my fist in the air, I moaned in success.

The new ghoul's hand was much larger and a good bit slower, but the nails let it dig into the stone grooves along the walls and floor. Giving it the ability to climb upwards and hang upside down!

Together, we moved deeper into the progressively worse smelling tunnels and I came up with a plan. My new stratagem was to use the gentle ticking noise of my new Handmaiden—err, maybe I shouldn’t call it that. Don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. None of that stuff works, anyway, or Pollina would have kept me chained to the wall in a gimp outfit. Moving on, I planned on using Hand Bro 2.0 to make the creepers look up so that I could sneak up and stab them in the back of the head. It was brilliant. Nothing could possibly go wrong!

As we traveled further in search of a ghoul, the stench grew to unprecedented lows, almost like a physical presence. I was getting concerned. Either there was a mass of the creatures ahead or a really powerful one to emit this far away. More atrociously, I only had one set of clothes and I was afraid that the smell would never come out. No one should have to live in filth, especially for all eternity.

Before long, I spotted what I was looking for. A horrid female ghoul with sagging yellow tits was busy shoveling a jumbo rat carcass into her engorged mouth.

I stopped to consider that pyrrhic victory.

Only been undead, no unalive, for two days and I’ve already got my first kiss and seen my first knockers in the flesh. And I couldn’t be more unhappy about it.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

I really wanted to know why her nose fell off, but not those putrid un-fun bags. Ghouls suck.

The ghoul turned at my approach despite my soundless shuffle, and I started reconsidering my scheme. What gave me away, the smell?

Her loud crunching on rat bones was the only sound I heard as we sat there in that corridor staring at each other. Thankfully, it only lasted a few seconds. The stand-off ended when the rat tail fell out of her mouth, and she took a dive after it.

Taking my chance to move in closer, I crept forward, warily watching her the entire time. At about ten feet, she sprang up and tilted her head to the side, not looking at me.

Another much bigger ghoul launched itself from the tunnel, knocking her off balance. With her out of the way, it turned around and started clawing at the floor and licking the spot where the rat tail was.

I couldn’t get a better opportunity than this.

My Clawby dropped from the ceiling, leaving a horrendous gash across the back of the new ghoul. With a horrific screech, the injured wretch turned to face the female that had just gotten to her feet.

Seeing the aggressive maneuver, she hissed and launched herself at the threatening scavenger. A three-way indiscriminate brawl broke out between the two ghouls and my reanimated hand.

The speed and savagery of the two combatants was shocking to see firsthand. I could barely follow the swipes and dodges, and waited out the melee until they slowed down. And slow down they did after a particularly nasty swipe across the midsection on the woman. Standing over her with a victory snarl, the bigger ghoul went to bring down his claws on her neck, but stopped when I shoved my dagger into the back of his head.

The monster collapsed on to the smaller one, and I used Spring Forward to bash in her head with my mace before she could get up.

The mana surge was so powerful, I fell onto my back.

You have sufficient mana to advance a level. You have reached a Marquee level! The choice here is permanent and will affect all subsequent advancements. Please choose from the following list.

* Zombie - The zombie classification is the most physical type of undead. Has no advantage or disadvantage. Provides the level advantage: Necrotic Fortitude - your body becomes much more difficult to injure.

* Ghouling - The ghoul classification is the most agile of the undead. Eating flesh increases potency, but will weaken without a reliable source. Provides the level advantage: Clawed Weapons - clawed fingers that inject a paralytic neurotoxin.

* Vampire Spawn - The vampire classification has blood magic. Blood magic is fueled by the blood of living creatures and the vampire will weaken without a reliable source. Damaged by sunlight. Provides the level advantage: Regeneration - all wounds and limbs will heal with time.

* Skeleton - The skeleton classification is a middle ground between physicality and necromancy. Has no advantage or disadvantage. Provides the level advantage: Limb Replacement - can replace any limb with that of another skeleton.

* Shadow - The shadow classification is an ethereal type undead with high necromancy potential. Takes reduced damage from physical attacks, but increased from all magical attacks and fire. Damaged by sunlight. Provides two level advantages: Shadow Meld - Can become nearly invisible in a shadow. And Draining Touch - Can absorb the life force of a living creature by touch.

The selections blew my mind! You mean to tell me, all this time I wasn’t even a freaking zombie!? Anyhow, the choice here wasn’t easy, but I knew I could remove two from the table.

No way in hell was I going to be a ghoul, ever. I’m glad I knew what they were like now, because if I hadn’t, that talk about agility might have persuaded me. That would have been a damn tragedy for the ages. Although, in my defense, the eating flesh part might have kept me away.

The next goner was skeleton. Using necromancy sounded good, but I’d spent most of my last life looking like an emaciated skeleton, and wasn’t interested in going that route again. With Oran’s body, I was tall and handsome, with magnificent hair. No way would I give that up if I didn’t have to.

So, for me, the only actual choice was between zombie, vampire spawnling, and shadow.

Zombie wasn’t exactly enticing, but I really liked the idea of being harder to hurt. Furthermore, based on the description, I could probably count on getting tier powers that would make me even more tough. Probably stronger, too. There wasn’t really a downside.

Vampire sounded awesome, and fit almost perfectly with how I envisioned myself. I could be suave, and use sweet ass blood magic to, I don’t know, turn into a goat or something. To be honest, I never paid too much attention to what a vampire was back on Earth, but I didn’t think it mattered here. Either way, with the drawback of having to stay away from sunlight, I expected blood magic to be pretty strong.

Finally, shadow was kind of “meh”, but I gave it my due consideration. I liked the idea of being hard to see and using more advanced necromancy, but not at the cost of being a sentient fart. Maybe down the line it would get some sweet evolutions, but I couldn’t count on that.

After debating back and forth between zombie and vampire, I ended up with an unhappy realization: I really didn’t want to eat people. Like, for me to get struck down with an eternal hunger type mess, was just too big an ask. I’d rather just be like I am now than have to trick and slaughter innocent humans. My goal is to live my life how I want, but not at the expense of the happiness of others.

With a heavy heart, I selected the zombie choice.