It hadn’t even been a week and Alena already missed Rowan. Not so much that she was forlorn, but enough to make her irritable. The embers of love and desire from their date helped to mitigate some of the loneliness, but it also made her hungry for more. To make matters worse, she knew she'd be seeing Rowan again before year's end. The anticipation was killing her.
Her friends weren't helping either. Not that she could blame them, really. Landras was still at Castle Draskaan and was completely oblivious to Rowan's existence. They dared not tell him when his father was there, even if Lord Feilan most likely knew already.
Besides Landras, Ædarik was far too busy being completely enamoured with Lady Ashlin. The way she wrapped him around her fingers was a sight to behold. Mostly because she did it by being her normal sincere self. Her looks certainly helped, but Alena could see that he was falling in love with her personality. She was the same with Rowan.
Then there was Deilin. Queen Elarin had given her the funds to start her Hormonal Resonance Therapy for being involved with the rescue. It was originally a much smaller reward as Deilin insisted she was unworthy of receiving anything, let alone a reward on the same magnitude as the ones offered to Alena and the others. They were informed of the change when they sat down for their last meal in Midiris by way of a letter that said, “You deserve to be the woman you know yourself to be.” She had her first session the day after they arrived in Særis.
Granted, it was entirely possible that Deilin would have kept her distance even if she wasn't dealing with the Resonance Therapy. It wouldn't have been the first time it was fairly standard for Deilin to distance herself from people who were stressed or irritable, especially when she didn't have any answers. A by-product of being the youngest child of a military family.
Either way, her reasoning was valid. Alena did not begrudge any of her friends for having lives or reasons for not getting involved with her self-absorbed fugue. She was also incredibly grateful to the one exception; Davra had remained with her every step of the way. Granted, her support was a bit unorthodox at times, but it was still appreciated.
One particularly overt example of Davra's assistance came when they sat in one of the smaller lecture theatres in the Azure University. They were there for a lecture on Cultural Anthropology, one of the few subjects they studied together besides History. Alena didn't want to be there. She normally enjoyed Cultural Anthropology, but her mind was elsewhere.
“You should really use those toys you bought in Midiris,” Davra opined openly as they waited for the lecture to start.
Alena almost missed it. She was too busy huffing at a rogue strand of hair that seemed intent on making her sneeze. The thought of just using her hands was lost on her, and even if it wasn’t, her hands were occupied: one was offering support to her chin while the other tapped away at the long wooden desk she shared with Davra.
“Did you say something?” Alena asked.
“I said you should have some fun with yourself,” Davra replied, louder this time.
Alena jolted to attention. Some of the other students and the professor were starting to look their way.
“I really hope you aren't suggesting what I think you're suggesting!”
There was no way Davra would endorse something quite so outrageous. Not in a lecture theatre.
Davra asked, “And what would that be?” in response to Alena’s proclamation. Her voice spoke of a youthful innocence coloured with genuine curiosity. It was completely out of character for Davra, but Alena was too in the moment to read between the lines.
“Touching myself during lectures?” Alena found herself painfully aware that despite whispering, she was the only person speaking. The rest of the room was still. All eyes were on Alena. It was in that moment that she saw Davra's knowing smile.
“Simmer down, Alena. People will start thinking you're an Ardent if you keep this up.”
Davra's tone was playful. There was no malice to her words. Even so, Alena was mortified.
“Are we about finished?” the professor asked.
Davra and Alena both nodded. They were quiet for the rest of the lecture. Alena even found herself able to concentrate. It helped that the professor chose to pivot away from her planned lecture on the cultural ramifications of agriculture, opting to cover how societal views on sex can inform how a community develops instead.
Thankfully, the professor didn't once mention Alena’s exchange with Davra. It was one thing to inspire the general subject of a lecture and another to be a case study; the embarrassment would have been lethal.
Davra and Alena parted ways after the lecture. Ideally, they would have spent more time together, but they had conflicting schedules. Alena was needed for an engineering project, and Davra had more lectures to attend.
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It was evening when they reunited. They were drinking tea in the living room of Alena’s dormitory apartment. Davra was the first to address the Mandra in the room.
“Feeling better?”
“Maybe? I'm not sure. I feel like I’m missing something.”
“Other than your girlfriend?”
“I'm not… Is that why you told me to touch myself?”
“What do you think?”
“Maybe?”
Davra rolled her eyes. “You're hopeless.”
“Because you're not telling me anything!” Alena protested.
“You're in love and a Romantic, Alena. It's only natural for you to miss your girlfriend. Add in a splash of desire and the understanding that you and Rowan have been intimate, and we have the beginnings of a sexual awakening. With a bit of self-love, you can at least vent your frustrations, and you might even feel closer to Rowan.”
Alena considered everything Davra was saying. It kind of made sense. A lot of it was still going over her head, but Davra at least appeared genuine. “I think I understand, but there is one thing I'm still not getting. Why did you tell me to touch myself so casually when there were people around?”
Davra smiled. “Good question. I could have waited until it was just the two of us, but I didn't want to risk forgetting. As for why I said it so casually? Eavesdroppers and gossip mongers are drawn to hushed conversations in the same way moths are drawn to a flame. Comparatively speaking, casual conversations are generally ignored.”
Alena felt a chill run the length of her spine. “I'm the reason people started listening in, aren't I?”
Davra shook her head. “You're not to blame. I should have handled things differently. I'm sorry.”
“You've got nothing to apologise for!”
“Be that as it may, there was still a massive risk of people spreading rumours about you. I did my best to spread counter rumours during my other lectures. I hope you don't mind.”
Alena smiled warmly at her friend. “Of course not; I trust you to not spread lies about me.”
“So, no telling people you have a heart-shaped birthmark on your right butt cheek?”
Alena’s smile twisted into the very image of despair, her lips quivering dramatically as she struggled to voice a response. “You mean I don't? My life is a lie!”
Davra, meanwhile, gave her lips leave to form a sultry, almost whimsical grin. “I can assure you that you have a most flawless derriere, and if you don't believe me, I'm sure Rowan will happily check for you.”
Try as she might, Alena could not stop herself from laughing. “You're incorrigible!”
“Someone has to be. How else are you going to have the courage to follow your heart? Alas, it's getting late, and I promised my parents that I would have dinner with them.”
Alena’s expression softened into a gentle smile again. “Tell them I said hi.”
“You can tell them yourself. You're always welcome, and Mother is dying to hear about you and Rowan. She'll even give you a massage.”
“Maybe some other time. While I trust your counter-rumour skills, it's probably still too soon for me to be visiting a brothel, even if your house is technically a separate residence.”
“Good point. You should bring Rowan then. And if you need a massage, just ask.”
“Will do. Stay safe.”
“You too. Have a good night.”
After showing Davra to the door and making sure she had a carriage prepared, Alena made her way to her room. Once there, she removed a box that was almost identical to the one she had given Rowan from underneath her bed. She opened it to reveal an assortment of toys and “erotic ointments”.
It was time to test Davra's theory.
*****
Alena continued to follow Davra's advice for the next few weeks. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it did help. She also had a chance encounter with Brennan, the Ardent she had been jealous of at the ball. He was a lot nicer than her jealousy had painted him to be and he was cute. If she wasn't completely focused on Rowan, she might have considered them pursuing him together. Maybe next time.
Alas, even with Davra's help and advice, Alena was struggling. She still missed Rowan, after all, and the anticipation of seeing her again was building. They had received word that she and Seres had just left for Næmyris, so it was only a matter of time now. If everything went according to plan, they'd be arriving in Særis on the eleventh or twelfth of Whitesong. Three more weeks.
Alena’s mood fell when they heard about the storm a few days later. It was raining in Særis at the time, which only added to the effect. Bad weather was one thing, but a storm was bound to delay them. Even if they were able to arrive in Tærin at the designated time, there was no way in hell that Captain Dralik would put the Princess at risk by intentionally riding the storm.
Alena locked herself in her room when she heard the news. If it wasn’t a Day of Rest, she would have missed her lectures.
She barely moved all day. She was too busy crying. It was probably a bit of an overreaction, but she didn’t know how else to deal with the emotional whiplash. The anticipation had been building all month, only to be reined in by the news, but the other emotions kept going.
It wasn’t until she heard someone knocking on her door that she got out of bed.
She edged the door open. The dormitory maid was on the other side. She curtsied and said, “I'm sorry for disturbing you, Lady Alena. You have a visitor.”
“Who is it?” Alena asked.
Before the maid could respond, Alena heard another woman say something.
“Do you not recognise your own grandma, deary?”
The maid stepped aside to reveal Alena’s elderly grandmother. She was even shorter than Alena remembered, and her walking stick was worn.
“Nana?” Alena could hardly believe her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
Alena's grandmother smiled with the warmth of the sun that weathered her olive bronze skin. “Because a kitten told me you've found your heart, and I want to meet the lucky lady. Your friends were worried about you as well. Now are you going to let me in, or do I need to break the door down?”
Alena opened the door properly and stepped aside to let her grandmother in. She was not prepared. Nana Kaleia was only the beginning. If she was here, the rest of the family were close behind. Rowan was doomed.