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Archives of Ages' lost
Chapter 19 : Doubts

Chapter 19 : Doubts

"We should be in San Vale in two days and by tomorrow's morning we should see it's silhouette on the horizon!" Alessia was overjoyed, they were finally approaching the city. Since Merriam had not be the calm respite they had hopped for she had migrated those hopes in San Vale, even entertaining the idea of going back to her parent's home. To her home. Maybe even go to the National institute of science to Introduce Joan to her former teachers. "I can't wait to see the city again!"

"I will definitely feel weird to be back" whispered Berel, "After all that happened"

"Don't get me started! There is so many things I need to do there ! Or I might never get the chance again!" Alessia rolled her maps back into their containers, the sun was setting behind her, her long brown hair were tied in a braid around her head, Berel thought she looked like one of these romantic portraits, the only thing missing would be some delicate flowers scattered in her hair.

"What do you want to do once we get there ? Since we will have to lay low for a while we should occupy that time." Asked Berel from his seat inside the carriage.

"I think I'll go around San Vale visiting all the places I used to go to when I was still a student in the city, like the Institute or that one restaurant with the really good pasta with cheese. Maybe I'll go back to my parent's, see my siblings, I miss them." She sigh, "And what about you ?"

"I think I'll just go to my apartment and sleep for a week straight, I miss my cat, I miss the view." Berel smiled as if reminiscing his life before the storm.

"And you Joan? What will you do in San Vale? Do you need a guide around the city ? Would you prefer to shut yourself in the library?" Alessia was half joking half serious, unfortunately Joan did not feel like reciprocating the cheerful feeling of his companions.

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it yet." He took his usual place in the driver sit and got ready to start the carriage. "All on board?"

"Yes, let's go!" said Alessia.

"I don't think your friend is feeling alright, lady."

"I noticed as well, albeit late. Did I say something I shouldn't have?" Alessia suddenly felt really bad. "Oh no, is it my fault?"

"I doubt it, I doubt it. It's not your fault, I think it is just something personal he doesn't feel like talking about."

"You are a really good observer, however, if Joan doesn't feel like talking he won't talk, I just hope...I just hope that whatever it is it won't prevent him from finding some rest."

Outside of the carriage, deaf to his companions conversations, Joan is driving, his eyes lost ahead of him. Siblings, parents, San Vale. Here are three things he'd rather not think about at all. But he had too. San Vale, the city he left so young, could he even find the street he lived on, the building, did it even still exist? Siblings? What are siblings, he had a sister once didn't he? And then he was alone again, he never found the same warmth in his mother's eyes or his father's arms. Why then was it so hard to come back to San Vale? It was less packed with grief and pain than Margen ever was. Margen he could understand why he would hesitate at the entrance, in Margen he lost his mother and then his father. In Margen he had to raise himself to teach himself how to be the best version of himself. In Margen he failed countless exams and lost so many hours, wasted on the study of subjects he could never understand. In Margen he suffered. But San Vale...In San Vale he was born and raised until his sixth birthday, he had friends, his family had yet to suffer and to be shattered. Maybe that's why he was afraid of returning. San Vale held the memory of everything he lost. He lost San Vale and with it his innocence.

What could he possibly do in the city then? Maybe he should follow his companions around, maybe he should hide in an inn, or as Alessia said, maybe he should bury himself in the library and study books he hadn't had the chance to read back then. He truly didn't know. But e didn't have to make a choice just yet, there was still some time before they arrived, he could think about it on the way there. Soon the night was here. The sky was unobstructed, he could see the stars clearly, their multitude and the brightness gave him courage, even if the moon was new, even if the night was dark, he believed the stars were protectors. Still, he lit the lantern on the carriage and continued to ride toward their destinations.

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Alessia stopped the carriage around eight in the morning. She jump to the ground and as usual freed the horses of their harness and leash. She knew they would stay around, they would wander around to find more grass to munch on but they wouldn't go too far as the went, they would prefer to stay in the shades of the trees they had found to rest at. Happily Alessia went to wake Joan and Berel so they could help with the meal preparations. She checked every bag they had. The food was still plenty, Alexis stuff was safely tucked away under the sits inside the carriage, Joan's and hers was on top of the vehicle and the rest, like maps and tools were inside or at the back. More and more bags were being emptied as the time went on but they still had a lot with them. Once her two companions were awake and working on cooking the meal she went to feed the horses with real food and not just grass, she gave them cereals and fruits.

"As usual, Berel, you take the watch during the day and if anything suspicious happens..." Alessia began

"I ring my bell and shake you to the best of my ability."

"Exactly"

"By the way, when did we agree that using my last name like a first name was how we were going to call me? Don't get me wrong I still prefer that to Mister or professor and whatnot but it feels weird." Alessia realised that yes, that's what they had been doing, kind off...Well, they never agreed on anything, they just gradually came to call him that. He was young however, perhaps he was the same age as Alessia and even her did not ask anyone to use her last name, only her teachers still did, and not all of them.

"Well...do you want us to just call you Paris?"

"You know what, forget I said anything."

"You don't like your name?"

"That's not the problem, its just an extremely awkward discussion" Joan observed them from his side, amused, "The kids are bonding" he thought. He stopped smiling, Alessia and Berel were not kids, they were adults, at least twenty years of age, he wasn't much older than them. He felt old and at the same time young. He chocked on what he was trying to eat. After calming down he asked Berel upfront.

"How old are you Berel ? You seem really young to be a teacher." This time it was Alessia who chocked then started to laugh. Berel was surprised and taken aback by the question.

"I aged gracefully then, I am in my thirties, Joan" The man blushed.

"Really? wow..." Alessia was almost crying from laughter and Joan felt almost compelled to hit her with the towel at his side.

"It's alright sir, the joke's on me, people often tell me I look young but I can assure you my knees and my back are well aware of my age, archaeology will do that to a man."

"Very well then, you are going to make me self conscious."

"Don't say that Joan, you are still young!" Alessia managed to say before continuing to laugh.

"Somehow I feel like that wasn't really honest." Joan was laughing too.

Alessia realised, quite embarrassed that he looked really nice when he wasn't brooding. "Wait why am I suddenly thinking that ? Get your mind straight Lady!" She turned to Berel, sure the archaeologist looked young, actually, he looked younger than Joan. "With his straight blond hair falling around his face nicely, his bright eyes and the complete absence of creases on his face, even now that he told me his age...I can't help but believe he is younger. Hell! He look like he just turned twenty, he could be younger than me with a face like that!" She smiled at the man, he returned the smile agreeably. Yeah, that man cannot be thirty, but that is not a valid reason to start doubting him. "What if he looks good eh ? I can't possibly be suspicious of every good-looking people out there, or I'd need to be suspicious of Joan... Stop thinking of him damn it !"

Berel continued to eat, placarding a faint smile on his face. That had been a close call. He couldn't let all of this fail because of a stupid question about his age. He did not survive the envoys of that blighted Beholder to fall to something both his companion treated like a joke. He finished eating relatively fast. Joan took care of his bandages and once everyone was sure that none of their injuries was getting infected and that they were now on the path of health they laid down their bedrolls to catch some sleep. Soon after Alessia was snoring and Joan was peacefully sleeping. Berel still viewed them as companions, they were on the same team, at least until San Vale, then he would leave them to their own life, hoping that the damage caused by his research would not continue to poison their days. The rest of the voyage was his alone, they would take a boat and return to Margen, Tesla would welcome them with open arms and everything would go back to the way it was before. They didn't need to be involved further. Of course he knew that this was just wishful thinking.

"If I abandon them in San Vale and continue the way everything was supposed to go, then they will still probably face the envoys again, the Mistress will not let them go easy after what they did to this "Lady of the Lake" she'll probably take revenge on them." Berel sighs and look around, not fa away the horses are placidly eating grass their ears twitching and the tail swatting flies away, the air is hot, the day is promising them a scalding hot afternoon. "They'll probably be killed...I can't help them anymore. I have orders and I cannot derive from them." It didn't matter if he felt friendship or even some sort of fondness for them, or especially for her, he had to go on as planned. He'll warn his contractor of the two of them and perhaps they'll feel interested enough to recruit them too. Not like it would guarantee them safety. Far from it actually.

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