The first screen was the “Welcome to the Apocalypse” message. I closed it and another message popped up. It turned out to be my status screen only this time instead of question marks, everything was filled out.

Status

Name

Maysoon Alacrity Seebring “Monsoon”, “Chief”

Level

5

Class(es)

?

Experience: (+25%)

31250

Titles: Eager Beaver; Firstish Mage; Bruce Lee You’re Not!; Unsteady At The Helm; Dadda. President for Life!

ATTRIBUTES

   SKILL POINTS  

Strength

33

Intelligence

36

Dexterity

24

Wisdom

39

Agility

26

Perception

21

Constitution

29

Charisma

23

Vitality

22

Luck

7

AC

8

Health:

185

Mana:

153

Qi:

152

Stamina:

151

“Hey,” I said. “After you closed the Apocalypse window, was the next window your status screen?”

“Yes,” they both said. I wondered if it was okay to ask what their attributes were? Mine seemed pretty high with the exception of Luck. I wanted to know what they did again, so I asked help.

The imu appeared and said the following:

* Strength is a measure of how physically strong you are. Strength often controls the maximum weight you can carry, melee attack and/or damage, and sometimes hit points. Armor and weapons might also have a Strength requirement. It also can affect how much damage you can do when hitting with your fists or even weapons.

* Constitution is a measure of how sturdy you are. Constitution often influences hit points, resistances for special types of damage (poisons, illness, heat, etc.) and fatigue (stamina).

* Vitality is a measure of how resilient you are. Vitality usually decreases taken damage by either a percentage or a fixed amount per hit. It also influences hit points and stamina.

* Agility is a measure of how agile you are. Agility controls attack and movement speed and accuracy, as well as evading an opponent's attack.

* Dexterity is a measure of your hand speed, how capable you are at crafting an item, performing hand gestures, etc.

* Intelligence is a measure of your problem-solving ability. Intelligence often controls your ability to comprehend languages and other abstract knowledge and your skill in magic. Under certain circumstances, this skill can also negate combat actions between you and your enemies. It heavily impacts both the number of points you get per level in both Qi and Mana and also their regeneration of used points in both. It also makes it easier to both learn and train skills.

* Charisma is a measure of your social skills, and sometimes your physical appearance. Charisma generally influences prices while trading and stranger’s reactions. Under certain circumstances, this skill can negate combat actions between you and your enemies.

* Wisdom is a measure of your common sense and/or spirituality. Wisdom often controls your ability to cast certain spells, communicate to mystical entities, or discern other characters' motives or feelings. It also heavily impacts a person’s mana or Qi regeneration. It also is a measure of your mental resistance (against pain, fear, etc.) when falling victim to mind-altering magic, torture, or insanity.

* Perception is a measure of your openness to your surroundings. Perception controls the chance to detect vital clues, traps or hiding enemies, and might influence combat sequence or the accuracy of ranged attacks.

* Luck is a measure of your luck. Luck might influence anything, but mostly random items, encounters and outstanding successes/failures (such as critical hits). Unfortunately, it is not possible to put points into luck; however, certain classes such as Gambler or Cloud Seer increase the luck attribute.

Good to know, I guess. It sounded as if the Collective had just copied Wikipedia, but, hey, knowledge is knowledge. I couldn’t help but think that it made the whole PC argument irrelevant. You call someone stupid and they can just say, ‘my intelligence is 24. What’s yours, idiot?’ I asked it what the average person’s attribute score (stat) was and it said 10, that most people ranged from between 1 and 20, at least when they were starting out.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

I asked if anyone started at higher levels and it said, “No, everyone starts at level 0; however, many people just like you discovered ways to increase their levels in the waiting period.” I loved the irony. A life and death battle with a toxic slime being characterized as “discovering ways to increase my level.”

I asked how many points we received per level, looking at my stats it looked like we got about 2 points and it said that this was so. However, like with my titles, attribute scores could be affected.

I asked if we had to fight something to gain experience and it said no, that casting spells if your class was a mage or creating potions if you were a chemist would raise your level almost as much as fighting would. It also would have the effect of raising the level of the skill you were using, which you might not get in a fight. After all, if you don’t create a potion while bashing a slime, why would your skill in potion making go up?

I continued to read the notices. The next one asked if I’d like to select my class(s) right now? I answered, no, but it came back with another window, asking if I was sure? I wasn’t feeling sure about anything so, I said, maybe?

It responded with a new notice that said, “would you like to view a list of classes you are currently qualified for?”

“Imu,” I said. “What does it mean when THEY ask about classes I’m currently qualified for?” I decided to use the Upper Case THEY or THEM to refer to The Collective from now on. Evidently, my Imu was smart enough to figure this out ‘cause it responded and said, “Classes are progressive. Depending on how you live your life and affect the world around you, the classes that you are currently offered will change. At the beginning you are only able to choose from basic classes; however, as you demonstrate skills or abilities, the classes you are offered will become more tailored to fit your manner of living. For instance, you might start with the class Magician: Apprentice, then as you live, the class may become Magician: Journeyman, Wizard: Apprentice, Summoner: Apprentice, or even Necromancer: Apprentice. However, the new class will be available to be selected only at certain levels: 1, 3, 10, 25, 50, 75, etc. Selecting multiple classes means that your experience received is divided by the number of classes you have upon receipt.

“So,” I asked, “Can I have multiple classes?”

“Yes,” it answered. “At your current level, you can have a maximum of 2 classes.”

“Can I put off selecting my classes until later?”

“Yes,” it answered. “You can select classes at any time after your level advances to the appropriate benchmark. However, once the selection is made, it may not be changed.”

“Is there a list of classes along with their pre-requisite actions,” I asked? This time the Imu disappeared and I got at blue screen notice:

Stop trying to munchkin the system.

Where’s the fun in US telling you everything. Live, boy! Live!

I looked up and both girls were staring at me so I explained what I’d learned from the Imu and THEM. I asked them if they had gotten class selection notifications yet and they both said yes.

I asked them what they were offered and Tanya asked me what I was offered. I opened the class notification and here’s what it said:

Current Classes Available

* Plumber

* Monk

* Cleric

* Ninja

* Rickshaw Driver

* Fighter

* Mage

* Scholar

* Merchant

* Chemist

* Philosopher

* Potioneer

* Alchemist

After I told them mine, they told me theirs. Tanya was offered the following: Mage, Scholar, Cleric, and Merchant while Janet was offered: Mage, Cleric, Monk, Model, and finally, and most surprising, Assassin.

Both Tanya and I looked at her when she said that. I’ve got to admit, I was surprised and judging by her face, so was Tanya. “I thought about whether or not I should even mention that, but it’s the end of the world and the start of a new one. I decided that I wanted to begin the way I wanted to continue and from now on, I mean to be someone I may have not been before. Let me explain. I was a wild child and hung out with a group of well, spoiled brats in LA. All of us were growing up too fast and with, at least in my case, too much spending money and not enough oversight. I went to a party in the hills, did some drugs, drank a lot, I was seventeen then, and woke up naked, tied up, in what appeared to be a basement. Not a clean one either, it was stuffed with junk and, well, it was dirty. A man came downstairs and just looked at me, then he rolled me over with his foot and looked some more. I was shivering and cold and I didn’t know what to do, but after a while he left, just saying, ‘not yet, not yet, she’s not yet ripe.’

I was freaked and trying to scream, but I was gagged with one of those round, red gags that you see in the movies. I decided that I had to get free, so I started struggling until I finally got the ropes off along with a lot of skin. I think it was the blood that let me slip the ropes. I must have been making a lot of noise because he came downstairs again. The first thing I’d done was remove the gag, so I tried pleading, but he just kept coming towards me, saying, ‘not yet ripe, must be stored. Not yet ripe, must be stored.’ I backed up and finally, I hit the basements wall. He kept coming and I picked up something off the shelves that I was pressed against and struck him with it. It was a screwdriver and it went into his face. I remember he just stood there and then I pushed him and he fell and I ran up the stairs and out the front door and down the street and got picked up by the police. I’m pretty sure that’s how I got that class offered to me.” Then she just stood there looking at both of us.

I was pretty sure she wasn’t lying. I had the interface after all. It had some rudimentary truth detection abilities on it. I’d put that eyeball icon on my interface and it was fully open. Fully closed meant don’t trust the person. Plus she liked me, she was green, right? Generally, people don’t lie to people that they like, do they? Also, she had totally volunteered that she'd been offered the class. If she hadn’t told us about it, there was no way that we’d know about it.

I glanced at Tanya just in time to see her go forward and pull Janet into a hug. Smarts I got, emotional intelligence, not so much. They started crying and just held each other. I guess they both had more than their fair share of scumbag men in their lives. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there and watched them. Finally, Tanya took a deep breath and pulled away, saying, “Ok, that was intense.” She smiled at us both and then said to Janet, “I wouldn’t take that class as your starting class. It might come in handy, but I’d get something magical first. We’ll let Monsoon stand in front and take the hits while we’ll either heal him or cause damage. What do you think, you two?”