Author’s note:
Sorry I’ve been MIA for so long guys. I’ve taken quite a hiatus in order to pursue my own interests first. I wanted to check off many things off my bucket list so I’ve gone and done that over the past 3 months of my life.
Now, I finally have the time and resources available to continue giving you all what I hope will be an even greater series to the prequel. I can see more potential in this plot for sure. I know that this may be a sensitive topic to some of my readers. I can safely assure you that as much as I like jokes, I DO NOT view religion as just a joke.
I respect that some people truly are better and more complete with a religious belief instilled in them and this piece of work I’m embarking on is not one to soil those important beliefs. I DON’T WANT to undermine your faith and this story does not serve that purpose at all.
That being said, please understand that I will still poke fun at certain religious stories because it is necessary for a better story. They will all contain faucets of truth e.g. Moses splitting apart water, David shooting a Goliath in the eye, Buddha palm strikes, Islam’s disadvantage of not being able to touch pork related products. These WILL happen. However they are NOT meant to undermine you and your religion. Please take this with a light heart and try to enjoy this FICTIONAL story.
Finally, I’ve researched an extensive amount on the 8 religions so after reading this there is an actual academic, intellectual takeaway with solid facts aside from the crude jokes so let’s get down to it yes? =D
“My my it’s been awhile since we last set foot here haven’t we?” Loki asked.
All of us looked around, at the even bigger version of The Ascension. The number of spectators it could hold has increased to a whopping ten thousand. Half of the city’s population. There were bigger TV screens, an even bigger announcer’s room with only one thing unchanged after so long since it was first built. The nostalgic view of two huge balloon castles and the three lanes leading to it.
I still can’t believe this was built due to Breadtalk’s utter gibberish. I really don’t know if he’s an idiot or a pure genius.
All of us headed down to the arena. It was still 12 noon so people in Carnival were still at work due to the 7 day work week rule (Everyone works every day from morning till 1pm). It had been awhile since my last Carnival War. We had been so busy with restoration after Ragnarok that it was impossible to find time for other things. Finally the time had come again.
Or so I thought.
“Today, I will not be asking you all to fight each other in a Carnival War system. Today it’s about getting to know each other better while fighting at the same time so I’ve already made a game. It’s a game all of you should be familiar with.” Loki begun.
Please don’t let it be something stupid, please don’t let it be something stupid…
“It’s a game called : Tag, You’re it!”
I never ever get my way don’t I.
“The rules are simple. I attach this bomb at random to someone amongst you all. This bomb will get bigger and bigger over time and oh yes the weight gets heavier and heavier as well. This bomb will be transferred to another player once you manage to touch or an instance of attack lands on your target. After a certain amount of time, this bomb will reach it’s limit and blow up.” Loki explained
“So… Basically just not getting tagged is the best way to win this game?” Breadtalk asked.
“Naturally. Any other questions? It’s really quite a simple game.” Loki continued.
All of us shook our heads. It really was a simple game. However there were tons of strategy one could adopt. Oh well I guess leaving us so much room to decide what we wanted to do would help us know one another better. Especially the three new Norse Gods who just joined our ranks. Rogue, Reaven and Wanda…
“Alright since the preparations are complete. I am not playing by the way touching me will be of no use unless it’s any of the three women here who want to touch me hehe let the game begin.” Loki announced.
What seemed to look like a black pokeball appeared at the top of Beathoven’s right shoulder.
“OH COME ON WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!” He said as he transformed immediately into his demon form.
I teleported to the top of the red castle immediately from the middle of the map since that’s where we all were at the start of the game. I needed to distance myself as far away from the bomber as possible. Beathoven had long ranged attacks in his demon form and his speed was almost on par with Soup when he was in his alpha wolf form.
Suddenly, the scenery around me started to get distorted. It was tilting to one side, slowly at first then faster towards the opposite side. All of a sudden, everything swirled into confusion and I was standing in a field of cherry blossoms with Horse standing about 3 feet away from me.
“OHHHH FUCK. ILLUSION MAGIC. NOT COOL BRO.” I yelled as I tried to figure out a way through this illusion. Illusion magic was a very rare form of magic not classified into any of the eight elements. One could only use this magic upon learning very very specific skills and there are even fewer classes who could learn these skills. Every illusion magic is specific in the sense that it shows everyone ONE thing. I’ve heard of an illusion magic which shows people their worst fears but this one obviously wasn’t it.
I looked around and in the field of cherry blossoms, I saw a well decorated, spacious and large bed.
Hell no. I’m not a pervert I’m not a pervert I’m not a pervert.
Horse began to undress herself.
NOOOO I’M NOT GOING TO DO MY FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING FANTASY
I closed my eyes.
That seemed to work until Horse took my hand. It seemed like Illusion magic could govern all of your senses and not only sight. I had to think of something fast and I remembered that in order to interrupt an illusion, one had to either come into contact with the one who cast the illusion or break the caster’s concentration. I could not see where Beathoven was because I was obviously looking at a very twisted desire of mine so I decided to go with the latter.
“TSUNAMI!” I screamed.
It was the highest level water spell available in the game. I spent about a quarter of my mana just casting one spell and the results were always amazing to watch. From my outstretched hand, a torrenting whirlpool started rising up until it hit the top of the dome covering the arena.
Usually it would go up to about 100 meters but now was limited by the dome. The whirlpool exploded outward, releasing huge amounts of water instantaneously and the entire dome became an aquarium in half a second. Of course I couldn’t see it happening as I was in the illusion but I’ve casted Tsunami so many times I knew what it could do.
When I finally broke out of the illusion, I saw that the now slightly larger bomb was not on me but rather, a gigantic wolf swimming its way towards Breadtalk.
However, it wasn’t underwater combat for long. In a split second, my aquarium had become a steamy sauna. There was little question about who did it.
Macaroni used Inferno to evaporate all my water instantly to steam and that steam explosion made everything cloudy for a while, making the hulking, unmistakable outline of Soup in his wolf form that much scarier since he was rather large.
His speed was unbelievable and soon enough, he tagged someone else as the bomber. This time, everyone didn’t know what to expect in the least. The steam started to clear away and the bomber was.. Rogue. With a hugeass bomb over his right shoulder.
Everyone turned their attention to him. Odin had been a huge trouble in the past because of that insane damage output he had with Gungir and his versatility in combat. For some reason or another, he did not have Sleipnir so I guess that was one thing good for us. However that thought soon vanished as Rogue begun his attack.
He summoned an entire flock of ravens which appeared from the sky. But then the raven’s suddenly disappeared. Just when I was wondering what happened, I remembered something from Jormungundr’s teachings.
“Disciple. Preparation is a magician’s greatest weapon. Insight is a warrior’s greatest weapon. Since you are both, you must be equally adept in both. Your experience will guide your insight and preparation to higher levels so always remember what you’ve learnt in the past.” My master’s voice from my memory found its way to my brain.
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I immediately put up a sphere of mist created from water and wind 3 meters around myself. All of a sudden, from the corner of my eye, I saw the globe of mist distort slightly in a straight line, a line leading straight to my chest. I swung my katana straight at the object.
Lightning impulse made me react faster than anyone can due to the added electrical activity in my synapses. The invisible raven was split cleanly into two as it was struck, revealing that my doubts were indeed correct. He was indeed Odin, capable of summons units which had invisibility numbering in the hundreds. When I looked back at Odin, he wasn’t the bomber anymore.
Looks like someone was struck by one of the ravens.
Then, I saw who was carrying the bomb. To clarify, I didn’t see who was carrying the bomb. I saw the bomb first before who was carrying it because the bomb had grown to a size of a fully grown man now. It was kinda ironic that it was him though. Raven stricken Reaven was practically pissing his pants and you could see it. How would the next Thor carry out this tag mission?
Thunderclouds loomed inside the dome and I wanted to kick myself.
Of course this would be the most efficient method.
Like how I engulfed the entire arena in water, Thor could do the same with something infinitely quicker than water. Lightning. I quickly made myself a barrier but not just any barrier. Lightning could travel through almost any defence. Even if you made a barrier of earth around you, lightning bolts conjured by Mjollnir was no laughing matter.
I racked my brain and decided to weigh the odds. I needed a lot of mana for this but this wasn’t the time to decide if it was worth it or not. I made the ultimate barrier around me that I was capable of. It required making a uniform layer of black holes around me all at once. A complete vacuum surrounding me which could absorb anything and everything.
It was after months of research and experimentation before I came up with this. My ultimate defence. The drawback of course was the insane mana cost despite my Ouroboros seal and mana regeneration, the maximum amount of time I could keep this up is 1 minute. One minute. Burning through one million mana in one minute was not something many spells could do. This was not many spells.
An onslaught of lightning barrages came shortly after and I was pretty sure this was Reaven’s all out attack considering the size of that godforsaken bomb. The huge bomb vanished from the top of his right shoulder and sure enough his lightning has struck someone already. Not many people would be able to find a way to negate that attack for sure.
The bomb which I cannot give a superlative to how much it had grown since the beginning was now so huge that you couldn’t even hide if you were the bomber. The bomb would instantly show itself on the map and everyone would know your location. Except this time, there was nobody there.
I activated terrasense immediately. There was somebody there. Somebody who was invisible. I looked around and figured out who it was by process of elimination. Since Horse was around, the only other person most likely to turn invisible was Wanda.
However, with the huge bomb giving her location away, turning invisible could hardly be considered a strategy. Until I heard a whistle in the air. Praying that I was not too late and cursing for letting my guard down, I deployed my mist barrier again. The arrow whizzed past my right ear.
THANK GOD SHE MISSED. Wait. Skadi? Miss? No I don’t think that’s likely…
I turned around behind me. The arrow definitely did not miss. It could not be any better of a bullseye.
Breadtalk had been busy flying around the entire map with his Baldy the eagle form but this time he had an arrow unmistakably pierced into the very hole a cucumber was stuffed into two chapters ago.
He crashed down to the ground instantly because the weight of the bomb which has now turned into a fucking skyscraper pinned him there. My estimate was that within the next minute, the bomb would go off and I don’t think whoever was the bomber was going to matter. Everyone within a 20 mile radius would easily be blown to pieces except that this dome was magically enchanted never to break so I guess at least we wouldn’t have to rebuild Carnival all over again.
Breadtalk quickly changed his form to Anaconda, where his weapon was a rope and it looks like a magically enchanted rope from Loki’s armoury was nothing to laugh at. The rope instantly became a huge net which wrapped itself around the dome on the interior, and once Breadtalk gave the command, it shot out from the sides of the dome, converging towards the centre of the arena, catching anything and everything within the dome.
I used my ultimate defence yet again but it seemed that vacuums do not work on god level enchanted weapons so I was still caught within the web. Since terrasense was still on, I could tell that everyone was caught and on the ground, being rapidly pulled towards each other and then we saw it. The bomb on the shoulder of Horse which could barely even fit inside the dome already.
Breadtalk’s attack finished and the aftermath was 9 people (Breadtalk himself, Soup, Beathoven, Horse, Macaroni, Reaven, Rogue, Wanda and I) in one gigantic mess entangled up in a rope fighting tooth and nail to get out with a bomb hovering over all of us. The bomb was now frantically being transferred from one of us to another since all of us were basically permanently in physical contact with one another and sure enough, what was bound to happen sooner or later happened.
It fucking blew up.
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OMG THAT IDIOT LOKI. IT DIDN’T MATTER WHO WAS THE BOMBER ALL OF US WERE SURE TO DIE
I checked my incoming messages on my mobile phone which was hooked onto the capsule so in case of emergencies in real life, you would still get to attend to it while on RoyalRoad.
Joe : Are all of you dead?
Zack : Why the fuck did you have to drag everyone down together?
Anthony : I’m dead alright. Dying of laughter since I used that skill.
Jinx : It was pretty funny on hindsight I have to admit. Everyone being dragged together to a massive bomb explosion.
Anthony : Wait till you see the skills I created myself since I became a first ever original god.
Zack : Why does the retard always get the best things in life?
Joe : Amen. That aside, Korean BBQ anybody? After Zack casted that illusion all I saw was piles and piles of beef waiting for my consumption.
The three of us agreed and we invited everyone else. We managed to get Rogue, Reaven and Wanda’s numbers and since we were all dead. Might as well hang out right? We were going to be with each other for a loooong time in this game and a very important time too.
SO I REALLY AM A PERVERT?! I BET THE ILLUSION SHOWS OUR DEEPEST DESIRES. JOE SEES BEEF AND I SEE A BEDROOM SCENE? FML!
I wanted to take a long warm shower but I didn’t think wanking would be a solution to that desire so I ended up settling for a short warm shower.
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