"Why are you making such a big deal about it?" Lisa sat on the bed, her arms folded across her lap. "They're probably just friends."
Bath gaped. "Just friends? Did you see the way Dean looked at her? Did you hear their hearts palpitating a million miles a minute? And then the monolog..."
Lisa looked at Bath with mock disgust. "What have the verdora done to you?"
Bath froze. "What?"
Lisa giggled. "You've become such a gossip."
Bath gasped dramatically. "Oh no!" he sighed in despair, collapsing onto the bed as though stabbed through by a knife.
"Bath..."
A devious cackle rippled through the bedding, muted by its fluffy dragonleaf composite material. He sat back up and turned around to face Lisa.
"You know..." he said, giving her a lopsided grin. "I think you're right."
Lisa rolled her eyes. "You don't seem very upset about it."
Bath shrugged, his eyes glinting with humor. "I can see why the verdora live for drama: in a place like this, or a verdoran noble court, there's nothing else to do."
Lisa snorted, rolling over onto her stomach and kicking her feet in the air. "There's always a lot to do, if you're up for it."
"I've been exploring the nearby area for the past few days with Eyrin," Bath explained. "And we haven't found anything noteworthy: just crags and cliffs. Dangerous for the average pre-COTD human, sure, but not much more."
Lisa smiled. "That's where you're wrong. I went out exploring this afternoon with the other kursi, and I think we went a bit farther than you and Eyrin." Lisa paused, flashing Bath a complex expression. "I'm glad Eyrin's occupying himself with teaching you. I feel bad that he still isn't able to keep pace with the other kursi, but he's only had his boons for a week..."
"I'm sure he understands," Bath said. "Besides, I think he appreciates the time when you're gone: that's usually when he goes out with me."
Lisa groaned. "I'm still confused by what's going on with Eyrin."
Bath's eyes hardened, his expression steely. "He's involved in the verdora equivalent of a drug cartel."
Lisa winced. I still can't believe how thoroughly Bath's spearrows decimated organized crime on Earth. Is the same going to happen to Illudis? "So, uh, what's the end goal behind befriending Eyrin?"
"Truthfully? I'm still figuring it out," Bath replied. "But, given his...skillset and connections on Illudis, I have a few plans in mind."
Lisa didn't like the sound of that. "Just how many plans are we talking?"
Bath waved a hand. "It's not important."
Lisa nodded her head slowly. "Okay, well, why don't you let me and the wasps think of something?"
Bath sighed. "We left all the wasps on Illudis. They'll come through once the signal comes that we've left for Equinox."
That's true, Lisa thought. Though I was thinking of talking to them later, not necessarily this second.
"What were we discussing again?"
Lisa grinned. "A cool thing the kursi discovered."
"Ah, yes," Bath said, bowing his head in an exaggerated gesture. "Continue."
"As I was saying before our tangent, the kursi went far away. I'm talking the complete other side of this planet. Luckily, the planet's all sand, so we had few obstructions in our way."
Bath nodded sagely. "That is good."
"In all honesty, I have no idea how we discovered it," Lisa said, jaw grasped contemplatively. "We found this tiny opening in the sand, maybe five feet in diameter. Since we ran right over it, the hole was impossible to miss."
"Seems suspect."
Lisa chuckled lightly. "So, we went down into this hole, and...we found this guy."
Bath's expression darkened, his nostrils flaring. "And none of you sensed him? On Vast Desert, this lifeless hellhole?"
Lisa smiled and closed her eyes. "That's the thing: the guy wasn't a sapient. He was this little robot dude named AI Ninety-Seven."
Bath narrowed his eyes. "A robot? On Vast Desert? Did it say or do anything?"
"It started talking about a library or something, but it was getting late, so we decided to return to Jure and come back later. But I was thinking: why don't we go now?"
Bath wiggled over to the side of the bed, then pushed himself to standing. "I'm ready when you are."
Lisa beamed. "Excellent."
---
Two Hours Later
Lisa and Bath landed in the sand next to the conspicuous hole, sand spraying up as each slammed into a dune.
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"So now that we're here," said Bath, shifting out of the form of a dragon and into that of a white wolf, "do we just fall through the tunnel?" He spread out his essence, only to find that his range was insufficient to reach the hole's bottom.
Lisa nodded. "It's maybe...four, four and a half miles deep." She walked over to the hole, Bath following next to her. She opened her mouth and blinked, using her echolocation to visualize the length of the cave. "Eh, maybe five miles. Essentially, we can fall the distance and walk away unscathed."
Bath frowned. "Why would any sapient leave this here, in the middle of the desert?"
Lisa shrugged. "Maybe we'll find out." With a grin, she ran forward and leapt into the hole. Bath followed close behind, only reaching the ground a moment after Lisa. Having landed in the tunnel, Bath realized that the space was completely dark aside from the light streaming in from above. Unhindered by the lack of illumination, he and Lisa strode forward in the only direction there was to go.
They soon found themselves in a chamber occupied by a seemingly...meditating android: it sat with its legs crossed and arms out, fingers curled. Its figure was similar, but not quite like, that of a human: its facial structure was more Lepochim-like than anything else, while it had three fingers on the right hand, four on the left, and four eyes, all of them closed.
"Isn't it weird?" Lisa whispered.
Bath nodded slowly, his mouth turning up in distaste. "There's something...off about it."
"Now watch." Lisa walked forward until she was about three feet from the robot. Then, the robot's eyes opened and its body flashed neon green, the light of its eyes seeming to stream out in square-wave lines over its skin.
"Welcome, sapients: twenty-six thousand years past, my master, Franz, left me in this remote cavern. In compliance with his orders, I will give all here good fortune."
"Error."
"You may not pass."
Lisa snorted, turning to look at Bath. "That's new," she said. "What's its problem?"
"The unregistered biological weapon may not pass," the robot said. "If you continue forward, the Arc will close and its contents will be destroyed."
"Hmm..." Bath turned his wolf head toward Lisa, then gave her a sloppy grin. "Give me a moment."
What's he doing now? Lisa wondered. "Don't worry; this AI Ninety-Seven won't be able to keep us from going forward. He's just a robot."
"Is the weapon disarmed?" Bath asked, now in a bipedal form eerily imitating that of the robot, down to the mismatched finger digits and four eyes. Even his voice carried its odd, bi-tonal tenor, as though a filter was being applied to his voice.
"Weapon no longer detected."
"What'd you do?" Lisa hissed.
Bath looked her way, his four glassy eyes and bald skull glinting green in the glow of the robot. "I internalized all my essence," he said softly, his expression impassive. "As I am now, I should be all but indistinguishable from a true sapient."
Lisa walked forward again. "Hello, AI Ninety-Seven." Lisa looked over to Bath, gesturing for him to walk forward. As he did so, coming within the three-foot range of the robot, the lifelike construct shuddered.
"Vizier," it said, falling on both of its knees, its hands arrayed in an unfamiliar clasped formation. "This one is ready to serve."
Lisa swiveled her head around, mouthing, What!?
Bath's expression remained impassive. "Lead us into the Arc."
The robot rose to its feet. "This one shall lead." True to its word, the robot walked forward and tapped the ground with its foot. The floor opened up, green light flaring out and bathing the room in a pale glow. Bath and Lisa followed without speaking, Bath in the lead and Lisa trailing behind.
The green lights obscured the stark white of the corridor beyond. While Bath showed no reaction to the room they found themselves in, Lisa was only barely able to suppress a gasp. They were currently in what was obviously a messy, purple bedroom.
"Why is this place purple?" Bath asked, voice so monotone as to seem bored.
Why ask that, of all things? Lisa wondered.
"The Transporter of this Arc, Franz, believed the color to be aesthetically pleasing."
Franz? Seriously? Lisa thought. I almost didn't think the robot was serious earlier when it said its master's name was Franz.
Bath snorted cooly. "Hideous. Lead on, steward."
The robot bowed its head and walked through the bedroom and down a hallway. Lisa wanted to tell Bath and the robot to slow down a little so she could properly investigate the bedroom, but held her tongue. We can always come back.
"What is the full name of this vessel?" Bath asked.
"The Egdelek Arc, Vizier."
"How long were you in stasis until my arrival?"
"Two-thousand three-hundred and forty-one years."
Bath chuckled sardonically. "What was the reason behind the vessel's descent onto this lifeless husk of a planet?"
Finally asking the important stuff.
"The transporter died of unnatural causes after the ship's forced descent."
"Present a report on the demise of Transporter Franz," Bath ordered as AI Ninety-Seven led them through a many-doored white corridor.
Why does this place have so many doors? Lisa wondered, trying to make sense of the alien markings on each. The translator isn't making sense of whatever code somebody has written on them. Are they rooms of the library?
"Transporter Franz was passing through the Jeveda Galaxy gate and was waylaid by a hostile ship of make ATD-jefeal-0122. The ATD fired several missiles, impacting the arc's hull and compromising the structural integrity of the ship's main corridor. Forced to retreat, Transporter Franz redirected his route to pass through three uncharted gates. In the end of this transfer, he ended up on planet 39811."
Lisa recognized the number. That's Vast Desert.
"And?" Bath asked.
"Traveler Franz died of asphyxiation upon exiting the ship."
"Accidental death?" Bath inquired, his eyes glinting.
"Suicide."
Bath sneered. "Pitiful creature. What is the status of this ship?"
"Nonfunctional," the robot replied. "Fuel is insufficient to breach the surface. Damage sustained to the main corridor has worsened with time."
"Present a report of requisite repairs."
Lisa cringed as the robot listed off a series of random-sounding parts for the better part of five minutes. This is totally useless.
As the robot finished its report, Bath nodded and said, "Very well. The parts I have brought with me are wholly insufficient: prepare a digital report with blueprints of all required parts, as well as a blueprint of this ship. Additionally, include at the front of this report a summarized list of missing parts along with their required quantities."
"To be transferred to your Processor?"
Bath snorted icily. "My subordinates are from a backwater fringe world; as such, they only have chip reader technology. Study the chip reader of my companion, Asil, and place the report into a format compatible with her reader."
The robot nodded. "This one will obey." He turned toward Lisa, his green eyes flashing ominously. "Come, fringespawn."
Fringespawn!? Lisa's eyes widened. He called me a fringespawn? Suppressing her inner desire to pummel AI Ninety-Seven, Lisa walked serenely forward and presented the chip reader currently fastened to her wrist.
"Truly base technology," the robot sighed. "What tragedy."
What kind of robot calls my chip reader a technological tragedy!?
"Indeed," Bath sighed, his four eyes closing. "Perhaps we can outfit my subordinates with Processors at a later time, if the assistance of such advanced technology is required for the proper repair of the ship."
The robot looked toward Bath, its eyes narrowing slightly. "This one does not question."
Huh, Lisa thought. Is it weird to want to give Processors to backwater sapients that lack high-tech stuff?
The robot finished inspecting Lisa's chip reader, swiftly returning to the head of the party. It proceeded forward, leading Lisa and Bath deeper into the ship until, at last, they stood before a towering purple door.
Bath smiled cruelly. "The end of the main corridor. Open the door."
"With zeal," the robot replied, flashing an eerie grin that displayed pointed, razor-like fangs. It placed a hand on the door and pushed, forcing the towering structure open with seemingly trivial effort.
"The control room," Bath breathed. "At last."