A gulp struggled down my throat as I came to the realization. There was no doubt in my mind that I was God, nor was there any doubt that the Akashic Records -along with all divine item- were created by God. So, that begs two questions: Why is it that I have no memory of creating them? And why is it that I know of their origins?

“By now-by now I’m sure you are confused. I want to iterate that I am on your side. That is why I tell you this with the utmost sincerity. The being who created the Akashic Records, is the same one who created me… And he is the same one who created Michael.”

“Then how?!” I questioned, desperation etched across my expression as I prayed this was all some big prank. “How is it that I have memory of creating Michael?!”

“It-it is as I have said. Do not trust the angel known as Michael, for he thinks of only himself. His only goal is to satisfy his own desires. He is not your ally.”

I slammed my palms against the registry counter as I exclaimed, “T-That doesn’t answer my damn question!”

“Relax-relax… I’m sure you’ve realized by now. Someone has manipulated your memories, causing you to believe you are the creator of Michael. They’ve also implanted the knowledge of the divine items, as if it were their goal for you to one day call forth the Akashic Records. But it seems they’ve left out one key detail… The God who created me, Michael, and even the Conceptual Beings, like T.S.B.J. The vey man who split the world and even himself into two halves. The man who split his body into seven divine artifacts.”

“D-Don’t tell me you mean that bedtime story Megara would read to me? Am I seriously supposed to believe that stuff was true?! And why would she have a story like that anyways?”

“Believe me if you want, that is really up to you. But like I said, I am on your side. My only wish is to destroy Michael once and for all, so that I may put an end to his evil. And to that end, I will grant you permanent access to the Akashic Records, as well as the body to use it for as long as I can. Though that might only last for one day… Please Akuma. Will you help me destroy Michael, as well as his brother, Lucifer?”

I clenched my hand repeatedly, gazing at it as memories of my past life coming to me.

“In my fist life as God, I saw this world as my masterpiece, and completely ignored the humans that were in it. Hell, it got so bad that they started calling me a damn ‘bystander’. I only realized how entitled I was when I was reincarnated as Hakari. During that life, I decided I’d change… No, I vowed that I would. And so, I decided to prioritize people instead of the world. But in the end, that wasn’t the answer either…”

With an expression reflecting an unyielding resolve I glared at the librarian.

“…But this time is different! I’ll do both! I’ll save both this world and its people! I’ll create a world where death and life can live in harmony. A world where destruction is understood just as much as creation! A world where despair doesn’t have to hide from hope! You may not understand now, but you’ll see. I refuse to give up on either of them… Not like he did. Because that’s the kind of world I envisioned when I created my masterpiece! So, I’m sorry, but I can’t just go around hunting people down for you.”

For a moment he gazed at me, his confusion evident despite his lack of a humanoid head.

“I see…”

Then he scooted back, an air of disappointment coming over him.

“…You plan on following his footsteps too… A shame. And here I thought you’d be a little different, especially after slaughtering those children. I took you for a more ruthless killer.”

“Huh? Hold on a second. Me and you both know you’re oversimplifying it. The whole reason you got rid of my story was because I altered their stories to send them to heaven. Look, I’ll admit it may have looked like I slaughtered them without context, but they should be living in paradise right now.”

“Paradise, you say…”

His air of disappointment suddenly vanished and was replaced by an eager, almost delighted one.

“…Don’t tell me you’re referring to that place you created. ‘Heaven’, I think you called it?”

“Of course, I am. I made that place specifically for dead humans who lived virtuous lives. Though, I wasn’t sure if those kids had lived virtuous lives, so I used Devour to force them in. Well, I guess the Akashic Records did. But I assure you I sent them to heaven.”

“And you are aware, you’re not the ruler of that place anymore?”

“Even if Lucifer wanted, he couldn’t change the rules of heaven. He doesn’t have Judgment, so he’d need a holy scripture. And with me having lost my powers, he couldn’t get one if e tried.”

“………………”

“Pfft!” The librarian went, bursting into laughter. “Man-man, you are a funny one.”

“What are you going on about…”

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“I suppose I should tell you it in the form of a tale…”

There was an angel who wanted nothing more than to fill his father’s footsteps. He wanted to prove that his father was not fit to be ruler, and that he was a better fit for the role. But try as he might, he could never fill the shoes of his father. He simply didn’t have the power needed to rule over the vast world. Refusing to accept his inferiority, he decided to try a different method. If he couldn’t match him on the path of God, he’d instead try to reach him on the path of man. And so, he carried on with the goal of reaching Nirvana, in hopes of one day becoming a Singularity.

However, one day, during his many attempts to reach Nirvana, he realized his plan was ultimately flawed. In the same way a human can never reach a god, it is impossible for a god to walk the path of man. Their fingers could only reach out ever so closely. Fearing the limitation of his existence, he decided to cheat his way into power. And he did so by telling the world one lie.

“Any human who lives a life of sin, will be casted into the jaws of hell after death.”

Up till now, some people believed that after living a sinful life, you’d simply reincarnate, and the few who lived virtuous lives anyways would ascend to heaven, where they’d live a life of peace for the rest of eternity. But now, they were told otherwise, and by who they believed to be God himself.

Naturally, they didn’t even question it.

But why would they? In their eyes, if God decreed it a so, then surely it had to be. And so, they vowed to never sin again. Of course, sin hadn’t completely vanished from the world, but the important thing was that they were trying.

As the teachings of virtue spread amongst the ears of children, eventually sinners started to be looked down on, and laws were put in place to limit “sin”. Because of this, fewer people were reincarnated and were instead ascending to heaven after death…

But when they got there, they were met with eternal misery. Evey single soul, was converted into power and stored inside of Lucifer’s Holy Grail -an artifact he created in his quest to replicate one of the seven divine items.

“…It is thanks to the constant stream of humans entering heaven that powers his Grail.”

The librarian began to chuckle, as if mocking my earlier claim.

“Do you see it now? You didn’t send those children to heaven! You sent them to hell!!”

My mind went almost numb, and my jaw began to tremble vibrating my teeth against one another. Had I truly sentenced them to such a fate? The thought alone was enough to cause rapid breathing. At one point I couldn’t even see my surroundings anymore -just a dark cold room echoing with his laughter. But what did that mean exactly? What even is a “Holy Grail”? Should I ask the Akashic Records? Maybe the man Infront of me? Just what did it mean to be trapped withing such a thing? Just what kind of fate did I curse those children with.

“Are you curious?”

“?”

“Would you like me to show you? …I assure you, they are suffering a fate much worse than death.”

For a moment I hesitated.

“Y-Yes. I want to know.”

*Snap

Instantly, the library faded from existence, leaving behind a dark room cold room. Unfortunately for me, I was still naked, forcing me to rub my upper arms to ward off the chill. I began walking forward, looking around in hopes of finding light. Any light would do, I just needed something to guide me. Soon, I heard the sound of a ripple in water, a puddle to be specific, coming from below my foot. It was blood. I could teel it’d been sitting for a while. The origin of that blood was decomposing pieces of bodies, some of which looked familiar, as well as insects scouring through them. I soon realized they were the bodies of the children I’d sent to heaven. I felt a feeling rush through me, one very much unlike me. I wanted to shout out, but I couldn’t. No, I very much did, I just couldn’t hear it. It was as if all sound had been erased. Then I realized the scene before me didn’t reek in the way corpses should. My sense of smell too had vanished.

I took a step back, as if retreating from the gruesome scene, but I could only manage three hesitant steps before feeling as if I were locked in place. When I blinked, the image before me had changed to the scene of a cheering crowd. They gathered around, watching me as if I were putting on a show, separated only by jagged wooden spikes. Wait… No. They weren’t cheering, they were weeping, I just couldn’t hear them and mistook their expressions as cheers.

My wrists and feet were impaled, binding me to a wooden frame, while flames licked at my skin, ignited by a soldier's cruel torch. The pain was excruciating, and yet not only could I not hear my own cries out, but I also couldn’t hear the fire cackling, the people weeping or even my own thoughts. Soon, I’d lost my ability to even see, leaving me with only the feeling of unimaginable pain, as well as the dryness of my throat.

I begged for an end. Honestly, I’m unsure if I even managed that, as I couldn’t hear my own thoughts, but I know it had to have been a wish in my heart. And yet… my end never came. I felt as if centuries had gone by, and yet, my salvation never came. You’d think after that long, one would get used to the feeling of burning, but it seemed I was devoid of such luxury. With every breath of flames, my flesh, muscles and nerves and even my sensitivity for the sensation of burning. Everything came back to me.

*Snap

“A little-a little something like that.”

Huh? …Wha…What just happened…? I-Is it over? Did it finally end? Have I been saved? Is it truly over? Please don’t get my hopes up...

The librarian raised his right hand and summoned a glowing white book.

“As I-As I said, I still need you to kill Michael. And possible even Lucifer. So, I shall restore your story and bring you back to the world as Akuma. Of course that means everyone will remember you again. Thank me later.”

Maybe it really is over. That nightmare really has ended. For a moment, I convinced myself that the suffering was over, that I was finally se free, and I suppose in a way, I sort of was. But, waiting for me was not salvation, instead, the eyes of the abyss.

The librarian shifted form, his image gradually morphing into an almost replica of myself.

“Also. You know as well as I do, that saving both this world and its people is impossible. Only a child could dream something so ridiculous. Even God couldn’t do it, so who the hell do you think you are? …Don’t kid yourself.”

Growing up I always heard the term, “If you gaze into the abyss, eventually the abyss will gaze into you.” Back then, I never really understood what it meant, but now… I think… I think I get it now.

image [https://i.imgur.com/a4BSfxQ.jpeg]

“I am every conceivable story that ever has, will and is. That goes for even Akuma Tiryns… And you know, it’s because I’m Akuma, that I feel it too. How badly you want to save both the world and its people. I wanna save them so bad that I can't even think straight. But deep down, you already know how that will end, don’t you? Because you’ve already experienced it… First, they’ll run themselves into ruins. Then they’ll get down on their knees and begs for someone to help them. That’s when you’ll show up. You’ll extend your hand out to the ones in need and for a time, they’ll hold it... They’ll follow you, serve you, even hail you as their God… But without fail, they’ll toss that hand away like yesterday’s garbage. And do you know why? It’s because despite it being their first instinct, nobody wants to be the beggar. They want to be the one with the power. The one who wears the crown. More than anything, they want to convince themselves that they’re more important than the guy next to them… Whether they realize it or not, everyone wants to be a God… So, when you tell me you're a God, I just can’t help but laugh… That goal makes you as human as humans can get… Now scurry along, human.”

*Ding!

With a poke to my forehead, my ears were filled with a loud ringing bell, causing a minor daze effect. When I came to, I was greeted with the event that started everything. The reason he and I ended up so damn different…

My-no… Our past life.