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** 01.01 **
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Spring Came to Eclidia bringing life to the frozen Empire. Just outside The Town of Caldus and a while away from the local chapel, sat a girl near the river that just began its flow again after slowly melting.
She looked as clean as can be ,although she just ran through the woods that were teaming with life and filled with a rainbow of flowers. Bee's buzzing about, ants waging wars and all manner of insects.
The girl sat by a small fire facing the river while her fish slowly cooked. the fire crackled and flared every so often. small pebble's floated on top of her palm while she rhythmically sent them one by one skipping across the river. More pebble's joined her hand and more where sent flying with a crack as she waited for the fish she caught by building a small dam of rocks to cook some more.
after a while the girl grabbed one fish of the two and bit down at the slightly charred fish .she moved the other away from the fire and began to speak while chewing.
" ... My Name is Anna and I realize that I am somehow , very different."
awkwardly she tried to continue on ,she didn't know who she was speaking to ,maybe the rocks or better the fish but speaking to something while she ate it felt very wrong ,but she needed this. she eventually decided on the river , here after dubbed as Mr. River, it never hurts to be polite she thought.
" for instance I'm 11 years old and I'm speaking like an adult. I shouldn't be able to do that ,I shouldn't be able to realize I'm doing that either. but I am. and that is one the many reasons why my fellow orphans find me creepy, cant really blame them neither."
she continued chewing ,Swallowed and took another bite.
" you see I spent most of my first years very dull .staring at walls ,celling and what have you barley reacting to people .my mother that's Liz to dad and the cobblers wife to the rest of the world , gave up on me ,and put me at the chapel."
" so it was really a surprise to the sisters when I started speaking at seven I hadn't seen the need before that. The world was already loud enough before I started adding my voice "
she ripped the fish after a bite and throw the pesky bones out.
" ..... that's manly what I tell my self, truth is I wasn't there entirely."
" when I spoke first time , it was straight to sentence's and proper grammar . none of that dada dode cute shit ,scared the shit out of The old nuns I tell you. asking to learn how to read soon after when we didn't really have books , to teach me to write when most of them couldn't. the matron didn't like that. Wanted to know what I was going about .I didn't either really, but stupid me told them I could read English you see ,didn't help I kept slipping between languages. "
" Scared the shit out everyone and myself .got spanked and had a week long fever after that. "
I think that was the jolt that woke me .I was almost convinced that I was having the most awful most realistic nightmare of my life things where hazy and didn't make any sense ,but dreams wake you up when your terrified and screaming out murder, right. but I'm still here never did wake up."
She buried the empty stick in the soft dirt .
" from then on things where a bit clearer ,like I could breathe again ,so I spent three years trying to figure out who I am .where I am and what the fuck was going on .Time seamed to fly by .even if I spent most of my day remembering while working, everyone thought I was daydreaming and everyone already knew I'm not completely right up here."
she tapped her head twice with her index shaped like hook.
" my head always felt stuffed ,kept having having headaches more often than not and when it did I would be on autopilot, a zombie made for cleaning ,polishing ,peeling onions ,so many onions , bringing water from the well ,I hate that bloody well. I hate it so damn mush, and I hate that bitch ,sorry I mean sister Ella for wasting water all the damn time. she fucking loves cleaning already clean shit."
she really hated sister Ella she was the one to order her around most the time. when she was a zombie that was fine ,but now she hated cleaning all the ,except for her and couple other orphans, impossible to reach places.
she took a couple of breaths and started again.
" any way, I'm not on Earth that is very obvious ,asking my "siblings" I figured I'm the only one here at least that can remember Earth and John .John who had a wonderful world, the Fucker .I would kill for one of there croissant or a donut or chicken butter, Gia I miss chicken butter. I don't really remember the taste I just know it was good. really good and shithead doesn't know how to make'em all I get is it had something to do with cashews. Chicken butter Mr. River ,all we have is boiled potatoes and carrots ,boiled everything really none of it good. even roasted Ham. they had so many wonderful things you know , dozen dishes I would kill for any single one ."
she played with stick bending it against the ground her palm on top pushing it in circles making a cone shaped hole and slowly widening it.
" There are huge differences between earth and Milgard .so many similarities too. Earthers have it good. Real good. Though Earthers don't got Mana the poor fuckers , pretty weird shit right. No Gates either. No Gia ,Aura, Aqua and ignis neither. Instead they have some debated theoretical dude named Jesus and a couple others too but never met the spirts myself either so who are we to tell them . they get real real weird about it too."
" they do everything with machines though. And they do it so mush better than us. We are medieval apparently .There houses are longer than you can see .There bridges made from steal .and planes, so so many planes. all without mana"
she stared at the sky imagining the sound of an airplane passing by and .....then remembered how cramped inside they where, and the crying babes and the stupidly shrunken by the year leg space.
"I understand it, kinda ,but also don't understand it . John was a sciencey guy ,like numbers and shit ,so I am too probably. know how a steam engine works but never really made one or John didn't ,he knew plenty of half remembered random things from Wikipedia or from anime and the internet. mostly YouTube though. what tubes have to do with videos ill never get , john never asked google either. but I can make a plane I think. nothing like they did just an engine and proper shaped wings and I could glide. probably."
she looked up at the mountains and imagined jumping from with a handmade glider she could almost feel the wind against her face and wondered where was she going to get googles.
she shook her head. floated the second fish to her and continued again .
"but they don't have magic the kind that lets you move rocks with there mind. Make fire at will .haven't met many besides me who can ,but everyone has gates and I heard stories, the matron and sisters tales of Thoas The builder, or Izk The Wave .and I've seen mages on there way to the Wall .but they never did anything and I cant exactly ask for pointers. they had no staffs ,no magey robes, some wore Armor others where normal looking ish .got no clue what a mage does and how. all I know is my magic."
she felt at chest where her mana came from. devoured the second Fish. she planted the second stick in the cone shaped hole and burped.
"But Earthers ,Earthers don't have Gates ,no sprits ,so no magic. I think they used too back before Time ,but not now, or whenever John came from, they just had stories, lots of stories. it had to come from somewhere"
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she stood up and continued talking to Mr. River ,he was a good listener, didn't interrupt and heard all you got.
"There world was still beautiful .John ,John was a shithead even he knew that but his sister ran a company on her own, got it from There dad. Even though john was the born first had a dick and everything , his sister still got the all the stores and the company ran the whole thing on her own too can you believe that. Alone no one looked at them funny or thought it was weird. John worked in a another company as a grunt, barley did anything there and suspects he got the job as favour to his dad or something."
" he told them he was happy that his sister ran the company ,that he was proud. That she was better at it than him , and it was true she was better .yet deep down, the ugly truth was he hated how his sister was smarter than him, How she always topped his achievements but he did his best not to show it, not to let it ruin his family, He was a good brother. I think he realized that his family could tell though. and he hated him self more for that. He hated how he couldn't bring himself to work in the company his sister ran."
"Mean while all I had, is this shitty backword world. Where my parents got rid of me because I'm weird. Where I cant just get a job a man does. where nothing makes sense and all I have in front of me is maybe quoting the Matron if I am lucky being "one the lords maids " and oh how so perfect that would be for me , being a quite little thing I am or walking up to a guard and showing my magic somehow and being sent to the army as a one way trip to the wall. another thing earthers don't have to worry about.no weird monster race coming in droves wanting to wipe them out. "
"fucking better yet maybe if they think me pretty enough I get to be some noble lady's protector and her brothers plaything. john has lots of stories about how horrible nobles get and I haven't seen anything to the contradict it, if I see one more fucking parade every time some noble comes through town I might just snap."
tears started running down he face but she didn't even notice and continued.
"and that's on top of me using magic at 11 doesn't end up sending me to a lab. do mages have labs here? is it weird ? I know earth ,some useful shit , most useless here . There are only three books in the head priest office, none useful, the bible full of bullshit about the spirts, a poetry book I don't really get. And a plant guide full off plants I haven't seen. nothing to help me ,no welcome to Milgard ,here is what you gotta know "
"They read a lot to us from the bible and that's how I learned to read. I know all my letters and numbers I'm big girl you know. yay me"
she laughed hysterically at that.
"So I got nothing really about this world. They don't tell kids shit. Where like hanger arounds and everyone is always oh so busy to inform us of anything. my only source of info is the gossiping lady's at The stream on Washing days and that's mostly stupid shit. Except for the occasional execution or hand chopping that jolts me back to remembering the barbaric shithole this world is . don't get me wrong I got nothing against hanging murders and punishing thieves, but I just wonder you know ,how many where really murders ,how many thieves had to steal to eat. And would I be one of them if my parents didn't put a silver coin in the donation box every ceremony. does cutting a hand help. I know the answer already ,got john whispering in my ear but even they didn't do it right either"
she sniffed and wiped at her face with her sleeves.
" Sometimes if I get lucky a talkative merchant brings news to the chapel and I can listen while pretending to clean .Most Merchants usually stop here before heading out on the road few talk to the pretty sisters after praying for a safe journey and what have you.so I know that the fifth prince was just born, know that this is the last lean year and that harvests will better now, know that spring brings more monsters, and winter is a blessing in disguise."
she started kicking at the dirt under her feet slowly making a depression pulling all the grass and pebble's with every kick.
"so that's that. Those are my options right now ,I know nothing and all I see is the worst cases, just don't know what to do ,what life to have...and that would be fine mostly. If I was a normal little girl. I just wish I didn't think every friendly stranger was probably a pedo or instead of being scared of monsters in dark alleys even though we have them , I'm scared of men.im not exited about working for the lord if I'm picked ,because he or his son or men are all probably perverts and I don't know if they take no for an answer. I don't want to be married to the first solder that makes a big enough donation. I don't see princes or fairy tales in my future ,it all seems so bleak. John new non of that has no answers for that."
she thought for a while and said
"I think I lost hope before I even got it."
she stopped kicking at the dirt for it did her no wrong and looked at the uncaring river still flowing by. shew throw all the mana she had lifting every pebble and all the dirt and grass in the small mound she made and through at the river. they hit the river shaped in all manner of ways but the river still flowed, uncaring.
she was panting now hand one knees bent a little forward. ,and to wait for her gate to fill her up again ,she fought not fall unconscious while mana trickled through her body slowly filling her up ,she tried to open her gate wider, and it slowly infinitesimally did. she continued on. The river my not care but it did listen.
"its not right you know ,not fair in the least. I should be a child skipping through like its a playground, I shouldn't think about all these things and worry about my future. planning when I'm goanna have to run from the chapel and training for my future life living as a hermit in the vast wilderness. But I cant because I have Johns life in my head showing me all the beautiful and terrible things in life ,things that should have come with time, lots of time. I'm really surprised I haven't cracked and tried to respawn already."
the little girl wiped the tears off her face and then cleared her nose while washing it in the river. She forced a smile again. and tried keeping the sorrow and venom off her voice ,she was to young to sound like that, she thought. she took a sip from the water and a stray thought hit her sighing she got up.
"I really hope you don't have any parasites in you mister river.."
she sat up looked up towards the clear blue sky of spring listening to the serene bird calls all around her and watched as one them dove for a fish ,and couldn't help but shake her head at the how the weather and nature seemed always against her feelings beautiful days on shitty days and shitty days on good days ,for her definition of good. She hated days like this days where you woke feeling good because the world felt right and warm. where hope was in the air and children's laughter heard all over ,birds singing ,people smiling for it was such a beautiful day , and then after a while she would remember why shitty weather felt right. why life was ferriable. she knew deep down that her life could be so mush worse. but still it never felt right ,she felt alone ,so alone ..
she looked down once more and continued ,she might as well end it.
"Anyhow, that's me .Anna who remembers being John who sometimes is John but mostly is anna.my magic is thusly wierd.my thoughts are always scattered. I can talk like john did. posh like some of nuns and priests do or mimic the way my "sibling's" babble ,but usually I stay silent which is my go to personality .you see I'm the creepy silent little girl who no one realizes is there or is not where she should be. That's what I'm going for at least. I almost think it´s magic. But that's how I get to sneak away on Cermonday and come talk to you Mr. River. I like your fish, there always good."
she scattered the rocks she used to build a dam to trap the fish in part of the river ,snuffed the fire out and buried the ash under a mountain of dirt.it barley took five minutes maybe even less. Magic is so wonderful ,she couldn't help but think. She started running towards town pushing mana to every muscle and making sure not to dirty her robes. She heard the bells that marked the end of ceremony's, she missed the Choir ,damn she thought it was the only part she enjoyed hearing too.
Soon she reached the chapel ,climbed the tree with her strongest jumps and hid near the top the branches high-up where no one looked up at .waiting for the crowd to come out so she could peek at her mother. She couldn't help it. even after everything ,she still remembered how warm her lap was. How safe it felt. how her humming made the any pain easier to handle. how the world felt right while she was near. her mother came out while talking to a few other followers. she looked healthy ,she couldn't help but wonder if she looked for her. she never spoke with her again after she left her here at four. did she think about her at all ? would she want her back if she came to her and acted normal? not that she wanted that. she was freer on the chapel near woods than she would at town. no one paid attention to her except for chores.
her younger siblings were probably playing somewhere. her elder sister had started showing up with a boy ,she will probably marry soon next year most likely ,17 that's so young. But not here. here it would be "time". she looked around and saw her father smoking with couple others. boisterous laughing can be heard all the way to where she was.
Her hand reached to the pebble's in her pocket. She could imagine sending one straight through his head.no one would probably know. They would scatter and scream and no one would look up. her fist closed around them her hand shacking and white. She breathed put slowly calming herself. She didn't even know why she hated him so damn mush. she spent a lot time trying to figure it out. Was it because the abandoned her here ? her mom did the same but she never felt that white hot rage burning her when she looked at her.
her hands left her pocket and she sat there dangling her legs of the branch. trying to remind herself that murder was bad that she was sane. she wouldn't use magic like that. magic is wonderful she should make rainbow and spark not through pebble's into a crowd to vent.
the courtyard under her was filling with people voices ,she opened her eyes again and looked at all the shinny clothes ,everyone and everything looking prim an proper , the nuns where passing out tea and refreshments and everyone was chatting and laughing merry in little groups. and children where running around laughing about. the sun was shining and the weather was cool. She belonged to neither group. Not the children , not the girls peeking every so often at the young men. not them or the adult's either.
She couldn't help but frown.
She really did hate fucking beautiful days.
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