Her senior year started in less than a week, but Sarah wasn't thinking about that. The guy they met when they helped Jill move, Jacob Porter, wasn't what she was thinking about either. He'd been pretty easy, he'd trusted the three of them right away, listening to them and watching them each show off a bit. He'd rearranged his sophomore schedule a bit and took a mountain biking class with Alexa, and she'd been able to give him the rundown on the long rides. Supposedly the most challenging part of the whole process was biking slowly enough to give a believable speed to the tracker gadgets they wore.

No, Jacob was only part of what Sarah was thinking about. She was sitting at her desk, with a composition notebook open in front of her. Her eyes were closed, but she knew exactly what was written in it. Right at the top, in blue ink, was her own name. Then Alexa's name, in green ink. Finn and Kayla followed in red ink. Then Jacob Porter in green ink. Below Jacob’s name were six more. Parker Brown, in green; Samantha Johnson, in blue; Austin Soto, in green, Ashleigh Fields in blue; and then Beckham and Taylor Vilhauer in red.

Some names had little notes next to them. Ashleigh had the word "boy" scrawled before his name. Austin had “old - 30?” just underneath. Beckam and Taylor had arrows connecting them and the word "siblings" along the arrows. They also each listed a town, and most had a phone number. Kayla had an email address instead of a number, as did Austin. Kayla was too young for her own phone, and Austin hadn't been willing to share.

She'd been using her blue light for less than five months. They'd met Kayla at the end of May, and in the ten weeks since it felt like they met someone else every time she, Alexa, or Finn left their little town. Sarah had spotted the most, probably thanks to Cuddles and her tendency to enhance things to make her life a little easier. She was pretty happy with her leather shoelaces, for example. Most of the people on the list went to school with Alexa and Jill, and they found each other on campus, or nearby.

Sarah rolled her neck and closed the little book. She could hear Cuddles rattling against her wall, and then morning light flooded into her room as he pulled back the curtain and wrapped himself in a circle to hold it open. She lifted up the corner of her mattress and slid the notebook in underneath.

Sarah's mom was downstairs eating breakfast when Sarah came down. Sarah pulled some cereal out and filled a bowl before pouring milk in and sitting down. She eyed her mom's coffee for a moment before starting her own meal.

"And good morning to you too," said her mom.

"Morning," said Sarah. She was still thinking about the names in the notebook upstairs, and the silence stretched.

"So, what's your plan today?" asked her mom.

"I dunno," said Sarah.

"Worried?"

"Kinda," said Sarah before freezing and looking up. "No, I'm not worried. Why?"

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"Well, gee, senior year starts on Wednesday, surely you wouldn't be worried about that. Or maybe it's the way Mrs. Krowski next door asked me about your boyfriend, and for all your secrets I'm pretty sure he's not one of them." Her mom smiled and took a sip of her coffee, and said, "I'd say maybe you were worried about missing Alexa, but she's been at school for a couple of months already, and it seems like you're staying in touch just fine. Maybe it's just that she won't be at school when you start?"

"No," said Sarah. She took another bite and tried to smooth out her face while she chewed. "Maybe, yes, no, I don't know."

Her mom was content to sip her coffee and wait for Sarah to get her thoughts in order.

"It's just, well, Alexa, and Finn, and everyone," said Sarah. "Like, they're my friends now. Good friends, even. But they've got their own friends, and their own lives, and so do I. I guess it's everyone else I'm worried about. Do I have to be friends with everyone else too? If I want to keep hanging out with Alexa I'm going to have to start hanging out with people she's met too. And I should, but I kinda don't want to. But maybe I will if I get to know them, but how do I get to know them if I'm just the bratty high schooler tagging along? And can I stay friends with Alexa even if I hate the people she's with? Or if they hate me?"

"Oh, honey," said her mom. "I'm so happy for you."

Sarah choked on the spoonful she'd just put in her mouth. "Happy?" she said around the mouthful of cereal.

Her mom smiled gently, setting down the coffee. She said, "I've been so happy watching you this summer, especially after all those years... all those years I watched you just close in on yourself. If I'd known how much an Alexa would open you up, I'd have pushed so much harder to get you out the door years ago."

Her mom reached out, taking one of her hands. "But a lot of this, this is all things we learn as we grow up and make friends. I'm sorry, I don't think I can give much advice. If you like someone, great. If you don't want to be around someone, you don't have to. If you don't like Alexa's new friends, you can tell her. Or Finn, or whoever. Just remember, even if you do get hurt, remember how good this summer was, and don't shut yourself up again, ok?"

That didn't really make Sarah feel any better, and she closed her eyes, letting her mouth screw up tightly. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. It's just... How? I can't go skipping up to some college guy and ask him if he can come play."

A little laugh escaped her mom, who let go of Sarah's hand and took another sip of coffee, a bigger slurp this time. "Well, you can, but I guess I see why you don't want to."

The two sat for a minute, and her mom spoke again. "Ok, so here's an idea. Life gets complicated, and just hanging out with someone you don't know is tough, even if you both know someone else, right? So don't hang out. Schedule something, and have an actual thing to do instead.

"Like a date?" asked Sarah.

"No, not really," said her mom. "I'm thinking more like a club. Something regular. Like my bunko nights. Bunko isn't particularly fun to play, but it's nice to spend an evening with ladies in the neighborhood. We stay caught up, talk, that sort of thing. The dice are just something to do when we run out of conversation. It's also nice that it's always on the same day every month. Makes it easy to remember to keep the night free, and even if someone misses they can pick right back up the next month. Do that."

"I don't think anyone wants to play bunko," muttered Sarah, even though she understood her mom's point.

"Well, obviously. But I didn't say you should. Host a book club. Or start a hiking club. Or a potluck dessert night. Or, I dunno, board games. Whatever. Something you and Alexa and maybe Finn would actually be into, and something everyone could bring other people to. Just organize it."

Sarah nodded, thinking of the names in the booklet. She'd need to get more than just Finn and Alexa to agree, probably.