Brian Alexson stood outside on his house’s porch and inhaled another puff of his cigarette. He was looking out onto the street and contemplating life. He was currently angry about how corrupt Lyserge City was, and the fact that he wasn’t getting much money from his job, even though he loved it. He didn’t want to peg his money troubles on the city’s corruption, but he was just about to. He rubbed his medium length black spiky upward triangle styled hair, which spanned his entire head and firmly stood upwards, and came back with hair gel residue on his hand, which he wiped onto his sleeveless black pleather shirt and black jeans.
He felt bad that he was polluting the air with smoke, but kicking the habit of eating meat and dairy products was easier to him than quitting smoking. The environmental thinking approach wouldn’t have gotten him to stop smoking all that much either, his brain needed it, and he didn’t know how to quit. He sighed and flicked the cigarette into the trash can.
He was worried how he was going to pay the bills that month. He dreaded doing concerts, because even though he was supposed to, as he was the band leader of his band Angels of Acid, he would drink himself into a stupor, and he wanted to avoid doing such a thing. He was angry at himself for not being able to control himself properly, and wished he could still do concerts without risking destroying his liver. He went inside, and Owen was there, just moving some old studio gear out of the recording room.
“Hey Owen, I’m low on pills, I’m going to need money for more.” He adjusted his long black coat.
“Hey Hex! You aren’t going to buy cigs with it are you?” Owen looked at him, his brown eyes reflecting how little he was amused.
Hex was his band name, and what he preferred to be called, but assuming that he’d just buy cigarettes with it made him almost as annoyed as when Owen would call him by his real name.
“No, I’m fine on cigarettes. You want me to die from vitamin deficiency or something?” Hex folded his arms.
“I still don’t believe the vegan thing will last long, not after you caved last time.” Owen shook his head, put the box on the floor and took out his wallet.
“Just because I caved doesn’t mean I’m not still dedicated to it. I’m back on the horse already, also don’t call it a ‘vegan thing’, that pisses me off.” He snatched the money out of Owen’s hand.
“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t think it was that serious.” Owen shrugged and moved his short brown hair out of his face.
“I’m sorry, I’m just… In a really bad fucking mood today, I really should have put on music or something while I was out there, instead of stewing in my own thoughts.” He frowned. Owen was his best friend, and his only band mate. He had pushed away his parents and had a falling out with most of his friends. Sometimes he was scared that one day Owen would just leave, leaving him alone.
“I get it, the breakup was nasty and you’re still in a bad mood, I don’t blame you for being in a stink about it. You don’t need to apologize.” Owen frowned “But I do, you’re my best friend, I shouldn’t be acting like that towards you.” He was still very broken up from his nasty breakup with his girlfriend, and wished he could forget her name as he constantly tried to scratch out her name in his head. It lasted only a year, but he was very invested in it, and wanted her to be happy. He didn’t think she would suddenly say that he wasn’t good enough and break up with him, it made him feel extremely inadequate, how she treated him like trash, like he was being thrown away after not being useful anymore.
There was a knock at the door, and Hex slowly turned around, confused as to why someone would be knocking at that time of day.
“Who the…?” He almost cursed again.
He walked up to the door and opened it. There was a thin and lanky woman who was brushing her bang-less neon blue hair out of her face with her hand. It was long but there was a good amount of hair gel keeping it from going over her shoulders, it disappeared behind her neck. The woman was young, and Hex’s height, which was pretty short, as he was five foot nothing. She blinked shyly, her blue eyes seeming almost puppy-dog-like, and pursed her full lips slightly, the cherry colored lipstick she had on glistened in the light. She had on a black and gray striped shirt that resembled prison wear, and black pants. He looked down and noticed a travel suitcase with a pull-out handle. He tried not to frown. This wasn’t what he thought it was, was it?
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“I’m sorry, you have the wrong place.” He tried to act polite despite the anger.
“This isn’t Forty Five North Eighteenth Street?” The young woman looked around, a blank expression on her face.
“Ah shit,” he whispered, he felt anger show itself briefly in his ocean blue eyes. She did have the right place.
“What did you say?” The woman asked, no anger or resentment in her voice, she genuinely did not hear him.
“Nothing, nothing. I gotta make a phone call.” He gave a fake smile, he was burning hot with rage on the inside. He wasn’t a sexist, it was the fact that his producer added a new band member without his permission, her being a female did make it worse, it was too soon after he had an ugly breakup with his ex at the time. Did his emotions not matter to his producer?
He went into his room, angrily took off his coat, threw it with as much force as he could at the floor, and picked up his phone. He clenched his jaw and air hissed as it went in and out through the gaps in his teeth as he went to the contacts menu. The woman’s voice along with Owen’s drifted into his open door. Owen was taking it a lot better than he was, typical friendly Owen. He heard a few rings then someone picked up.
“What in the ever loving fuck is your problem?! I told you, I don’t need anyone else helping me! I don’t want to be reminded of she who must not be named every time I see or think about whoever the fuck you sent here!” He shouted into the phone.
“Is this about Diana?” The producer on the other end asked.
“I don’t know who that is,” Hex sighed.
“The new band member I brought over. There was a room free so I didn’t think you would mind, and last I heard, you and your girlfriend were doing fine,” the producer said.
“No, we broke up, and it was nasty, and I don’t want to see or even think about the opposite gender for a while,” he spat.
“Well, it’s a bit late, she had already paid rent for the month last I heard,” the producer said.
“Why didn’t you go to me first?” He whined.
“I thought Owen would have already told you,” the producer said.
“I wasn’t told shit! And don’t try to pin this on my best friend! You have a direct line to me, use it next time!” He raised his voice again.
“Alright, bye.” the producer said nonchalantly.
“Hey, wai-!” He squeaked.
It was too late, he had already hung up. He growled and threw his phone onto the bed.
“Your door is open, Hex.” Owen stood in the doorway, his hand on the doorknob.
“I know.” He felt a lot better after yelling at his producer, most if not all of his anger was gone, there was only a small bit of resentment left.
“I’m sorry, I was going to tell you today, but I didn’t want to bother you. You seemed broken up about… You know… Her.” Owen lowered his head.
“I am. I only stopped crying yesterday and he springs this shit on me. Why can I never catch a fucking break?” He sat on the bed next to his phone.
“Is everything okay in there?” Diana peeked into his room.
“I’m fine, just… give me a minute.” He sniffled.
“Are you gonna be okay?” Owen walked up to him.
“Yeah, I’m just remembering shit is all. Thought I was over it, I guess not.” He wiped his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” She walked up to Hex.
“Please don’t come any closer,” he said with a wobbly voice.
“He had a really bad breakup, he’s not very happy you’re here most likely, because he probably remembers her when he looks at or thinks of you.” Owen shook his head and adjusted the cuff of his outfit, which was dark gray and looked similar to a school uniform.
“Oh, I’m sorry, if I had known, I’d have waited to come here.” She looked to Owen and back at Hex.
“Emotions aren’t logical, and even though I know it’s all over, I just… I’m just having so much trouble, more trouble than she’s worth.” Hex gave a sad smile.
“I’m sure you can get past it eventually, but you’ve got to let yourself grieve.” She reached out for Hex, but he slapped her hand away.
“I said don’t come any closer, I mean it. I’m sorry, I just… I can’t right now.” His hand shook a little as he lowered it to his side.
“It’s alright.” She held her hand.
“Come on, the moving truck is probably outside by now.” Owen patted Diana on the shoulder.
“By the way, you can call me Din. That goes for you, too.” She looked up at Owen again and then back down at Hex again.
“Whatever, just leave me, please.” Hex laid down on his side, his legs dangling off the side of the bed.
“Let’s give him some time to himself, come on.” Owen pointed to the doorway.
“Alright, see you later.” She waved and the two of them walked out, leaving Hex to himself.
He lay there, contemplating if he wanted to cry or not. He was mentally over her, but emotionally it still hurt. He remembered Din saying that he needed to let himself grieve, and the tears came pouring out. He took off his shoes and buried his face in his pillow as he sobbed softly.