Hex was falling through the sky, he didn’t scream, and just went with the flow. He wondered when he would hit the ground, and if it would hurt. He looked up at the passing clouds and just listened to the wind blowing into his ears. The clouds eventually fell away from him, He turned over and looked down. There was an island shaped like an egg, with neon green water around it. His descent slowed down until he was floating down very softly.

He landed on the egg shaped island. He turned around, and the neon green waves sloshed behind him lazily. He went into the tropical forest, and through the ferns, found a pot bellied pig.

“You know, usually the one who has a relationship with the victim is the first on the police’s interrogation list,” the pig said.

“I didn’t come here to get lectured by a pig,” he said, and closed the ferns in front of himself.

He continued on until he came to a sandy clearing that had a unicorn with a banana for a horn in the center.

“You aren’t here to lecture me too, are you?” He warily stepped into the clearing.

“It’s not your time yet, she’s alive, you have to go back soon.” the unicorn said in his head.

“No, you’re wrong. I’m not going back this time. She’s dead, I have nothing now.” He shook his head.

“You will find out soon enough.” The unicorn shook its head.

“You better get used to me, because I’m staying.” He pointed down.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Whatever you say.” The unicorn chuffed.

“Don’t get bitchy with me, you’re almost as bad as the pig.” He folded his arms.

“Go to the meat, then, and leave me.” The unicorn gestured with its head towards ferns made of uncooked bacon.

“Oh well this is a fucking nightmare.” His stomach churned at the sight of the meat.

“Face your fear,” the unicorn said.

“Fucking meat of all things, why is this happening to me?” He walked over to the bacon ferns.

They made a disgusting noise as he waded through them.

“I might just puke,” he said to himself.

Everything went green, and his vision wobbled.

“Poison meat ferns, fucking astounding,” he grumbled.

He got to the other side, and a beautiful array of rainbow colored shells littered the shore. The green color faded, and so did the wobbling. A crab popped itself out of one of the rainbow shells.

“The end is not nigh! The world will go on, with or without us!” the crab squeaked in a high pitched voice.

“That’s right, Earth and Cluster still exists, and won’t stop existing when I’m gone.” He nodded “See, you don’t need explaining! Nothing does! Everything exists for a reason! With or without god!” The crab made clicking noises with its claws and started to dance.

“That’s right, existential crab.” He smiled and nodded, finally, someone that wasn’t lecturing or bitchy.

“I’m just a blip on the radar! I’m just a blip on the radar!” the crab started to sing.

“Sing it, crab buddy.” He sat down on the sand, the little crab had some good lungs on her.

“I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toy Trove kid!” the crab started singing jingles from commercials.

“Oh god, I remember that,” he giggled, and laid down on the sand.

“Abuse is never a good thing! Don’t spank your kids!” the crab squeaked.

“I don’t have kids, but okay.” He nodded again.

“There’s confetti in my eyes! Get it out!” the crab went back into its shell.

“Wait! Come back!” He sat up and grabbed the shell, but it was empty. The only thing left inside it was the sounds of the ocean, and a few bits of glitter.

The shell sucked him in, and the next thing he knew he was waking up on a hospital bed. His eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds, and the emptiness was back. He was pissed that the tabs he took wasn’t enough to kill himself.