Percy
Adrian may be the sole counterweight to all of the fucking chaos from yesterday that is keeping me from going over the edge.
The moments following the second we arrived at Eclipse was one of the worst series of events that I have ever experienced. Also, as much as Finn will try to take credit for stalling Jax and the others, Adrian was the only one who actually succeeded in doing it. And now Finn, instead of realizing how stupid his effort was, chose to be defensive about it and leapt to accusing Adrian of somehow setting us up for something he couldn’t have known anything about. It’s just fucking pathetic. Finn has always been sour over not being a bigger player in operations like this, and yet the one goddamn time that he finally gets what he wants, we end up forced to stay more than a hundred miles away from home under military-grade protection because a secret terrorist organization is trying to kill us.
It was difficult to get any meaningful amount of sleep with all this garbage fogging up my brain, and I doubt Adrian fared any better. I dozed off momentarily, probably half-dreaming about the conference room the three of us were stuck in as the building was being raided, and then waking up at an unidentifiable time twice as pissed off as I was before. The loud knocking on the door that followed signaled just how much worse my morning was about to get.
Before I could even gather enough energy to sit up, the door burst open. The light from the hallway blared into the room like a spotlight and turned the figure standing at the doorway into a blurry silhouette.
“Hey! We need you two in the breakroom!” (Eliza?) shouted. “Quick!”
I audibly grumbled a number of swear words while covering my eyes. Adrian stood up and walked outside without any issue. I had to force myself out of bed to the sound of Eliza egging me on to move faster and I stumbled my way out of the room, nearly collapsing forward into the wall. Eliza grabbed my arm before I could regain balance and pulled me down the hallway. I must have blacked out at that moment because I suddenly woke up standing in the middle of a miniature cafeteria with over a dozen people in a circle and no idea how I got there.
“...for reasons that we can’t explain at the moment. All you guys need to know right now is that Eclipse needs the money by tomorrow afternoon, and we have to start scrounging for it right—”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “What… what is going on here?”
I think it was Jae standing in front of me. “Eclipse has offered us a peace deal. We need $4 million to be delivered to them if we’re going to avoid a war, and we need it by tomorrow at 4:00 PM. And most importantly, Brice cannot know about any of this.”
What… the fuck?
“Hold the motherfucking phone, Jae,” Graham announced while stepping forward as if taking center stage. “You can’t just say ‘for reasons that we can’t explain’ and expect us to not ask any questions.”
Kacey faced up to Graham. “Telling you we can’t explain it right now is key for you to not ask any questions.”
“Excuse me, but is this how well-organized and functioning teams tend to operate, or am I missing something here? Because it doesn’t seem to me like vague secrets and unanswered questions give an organized, functioning group of people much reason to be organized and functioning.” Bold choice on his part using the word “functioning.”
“Teams operate by working in their common interest. This concerns the team’s common interest. So shut your damn mouth and let us hash this thing out.”
Graham glared menacingly at Kacey, then stepped back.
“Right. As I was saying,” Jae continued, “We learned today that your guys’ big heist on Solaris lost the company over three and a half million dollars and caused it to go under recently. The overlords in Eclipse aren’t very happy about that. So, as a measure to make sure that they don’t feel inclined to kill us all after that clusterfuck at their HQ, they want four million back; everything that you guys made them lose, plus interest.”
They want back twice what we stole from them? Is she fucking serious? What kind of shitty ultimatum is this? Me, Graham, Finn, and Skyler all exchanged nervous looks.
“So, I think as a start, we should take inventory of what you guys still have from the job, and then we’ll build off of that. Graham? You’re the ringleader of the Lakewood people, so where do we stand on that?”
“Ringleader.” What a fucking joke.
Graham stepped forward once again. “Alright. Aaaalright. If I remember correctly, the exact total that we personally stole last October was $1.95 million. The agreement with the business that we worked with was that it would be split 60/40: $1.17 million for them, $780,000 for us. Our $780,000 was split five ways: 75% going into savings here, and the remaining 25% split between the four of us, not including Adrian. I think it was… $585,000 for savings, $48,750 per person.”
“And what have you done with that money since?”
“The shit we put in savings has just been sitting there, so we could theoretically add that to the total. The only problem is that that would be a huge chunk of cash disappearing from our savings, which we really fucking need.”
“That’s money we can’t afford to lose,” Karan deflected. “Try again.”
Graham sighed bitterly. “Fuck. If no other options present themselves… jot it down as a ‘maybe.’”
Jesus Christ, Graham, we’ll still have over a million and a half left after losing the Solaris money. Grow up already.
“And that personal money you guys split? Where is all that?”
“Mine is gone. I spent it all upgrading our house’s security—an investment that has since been undone thanks to this discount witness protection program you’ve put us under.” Graham’s eyes turned to Finn. “And you?”
“Mine is gone too. It all went to building material and air conditioning.”
“No it didn’t,” Skyler refuted instantly. “You told me before that you were saving half of it for something else.”
I would have burst out laughing at Skyler throwing him under the bus like that, but I had been silent this whole time and didn’t want to attract attention.
Finn death-stared Skyler. “And I still intend to use it on that something else,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Exactly half?” Jae inquired.
“Yes. Exactly half.”
“So what’s half of 48,750 then?”
Eliza opened up the calculator on their phone. “$24,375. That would bring our total so far to… $609,375.”
“It’s a start. Skyler, where did all of your money go?”
“I just used it to take care of King,” she replied. Damn. I hope that little guy is still alive. “Bird supplies aren’t very expensive, so I still have a lot of my cut leftover.”
“How much?”
“Conservatively, I’d probably ballpark it at $46,000.”
“You spent over $2,000 caring for a bird?” Graham jibed.
“Don't forget about the contract veterinarian. Those people aren’t cheap.”
Jae’s eyes directed at me. “What about you?”
“Uh….” Dammit, now I have to think. “I didn’t use mine on anything up until the Eclipse operation. The hotel we stayed at took a pretty big bite out of my cut, but I think I also have about $46,000 left.”
“Okay. So of the $780,000 that you started with, we’re left with…?”
Eliza added everything up as Jae looked to them for an answer. “$701,375. That is $80,000 we will have to make up. No biggie at all.” Was that supposed to be sarcasm?
“And you guys said that the other company got $1.17 million? Do you have any idea where that went?”
“Not a single damned one!” Graham hollered randomly. “Why don’t you ask Finn? If anybody has been up to date on the life and times of good-old Korey Rosetta, it would have to be him.”
All eyes redirected to Finn. “What, do you think we’re fucking pen pals? We haven’t spoken at all since the heist. There’s no reason to.”
“So that’s a whole $1.17 million that we can’t track down,” Kacey growled.
“Yeah, and we really shouldn’t be trying to track it down regardless. We promised Korey that she and the business would not be impacted in any way by the operation and that she was completely safe. We can’t just drag her back into this three weeks later and ask for all the money back.”
“You’re going to have to if we want this to work.”
“Uh, I can cosign on that concern,” Graham chimed in. “There were a lot of businesses I had to convince to be a part of that operation towards the end, and getting anything out of them now will be a near-impossible sell. You can’t just offer them a shitload of money for help with something illegal and then ask for it all back a few weeks later because your other illegal shit got your ass into hot water. Plus, it’s been three weeks since they got it; what are the chances that they still have any of that money sitting around in a bank vault somewhere?”
“We don’t know the chances. That’s why we have to track it down.”
But he just said that getting the money now would be impossible.
“But I literally just explained to you how getting that money would be impossible!” Exactly!
“No, no,” Karan cut in. “We don’t need them to give the money back; we just need to track it down. They obviously don’t have it anymore, so wherever they spent it, we take it back.”
“Man, do you have any fucking idea how long it took to figure out the Solaris heist? That shit ate up a quarter of our goddamn year, but now we’re apparently supposed to repeat that process thirteen times over in one fucking day? Tracking down money is difficult enough, but taking it covertly? In one fucking day? Every single one of you and your mothers combined wouldn’t be able to pull that off.”
“So fucking track it, Graham!” Finn shouted. “Figure out if we can take it at all, and we’ll work off of that!”
“Christ almighty, why am I the one who has to do all the work around here?” he grumbled to himself while stepping back out of the circle.
“What about Korey?” Finn asked, completely deviating in his tone. “Are we going to do the same thing with her?”
“If the money can be taken from wherever it was spent,” Jae said. “But otherwise… that’d be a quarter of our needed total down the drain.”
“So we’re gonna have to drive there to talk to her and figure it out, aren’t we?”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“How would we get away with that? Disappearing for an hour in the early morning is one thing, but we can’t disappear for a whole day right after locking down.”
“Hm. We’ve still got that long list of excuses to utilize,” Eliza said.
The lightbulb over Finn’s head suddenly lit up. “No, no, no, the supply run!”
Karan snapped his fingers and pointed at Finn. “Fuck yes! We can just tell Brice we’re doing that!”
A supply run still doesn’t explain disappearing for an entire day, but whatever floats your boat, I guess.
“So who all would be going to Cleveland then?”
“Brice obviously won’t let you guys go anywhere without an escort, so probably four or five of us will have to take you there. I doubt he’s going to allow any of us specifically because we’re the most important people in the militia, and Brice isn’t going to just—”
Graham instantly shut down the conversation, bursting back into the middle of the circle yelling, “I don’t have their fucking contact information anymore!”
Four voices yelled “What?” at the same moment.
“All thirteen of the goddamn businesses we worked with. I have absolutely no way of contacting them anymore. Dead. Fucking. End.”
Graham, for possibly one of the smartest human beings that has ever existed, you sure are a fucking idiot.
“Then how are we gonna get their damn money?” Kacey implored.
“Do you not know what fucking ‘dead end’ means? It means we can’t do shit! Nothing! One and a half million dollars is gone!”
“How is that possible? You were in contact with them less than three weeks ago!”
“I don’t keep contacts on my phone three weeks after I’m done working with them, Kacey! We do illegal shit on a regular basis, this isn’t fucking high school!”
Skyler power walked up to Graham. “But you kept all of your information on them in your notes, right? Documents too?”
“Uh… the documents, maybe. That could be a place to start for names, but all the financial shit was kept in my notes, and I shredded all of those.”
“But the names are all we need, right? As long as we can contact them, that’s all that matters.”
“I mean, sure, but we’re still operating on the clock here and rolling up to thirteen businesses, asking how much money they got and where it all went, then taking it all back is impossible to pull off in one day.”
“What about Solaris?” Finn said suddenly.
“What… about them? Didn’t they just collapse?”
“Yeah, but wouldn’t the CEO still have old records of them?”
Finn looked at Skyler. She looked back. They went awkwardly silent for five uninterrupted seconds.
“Would they?” Graham quietly asked.
“I think so,” Skyler said back.
“Because if we got ahold of those…. Fuck, that would give us everything: the money each company received, what it was designated for, their financial records post-association with Solaris; that could be every bird with one stone.”
“So Skyler’s just gonna break into Linda’s house again?” Finn asked.
“You still have the house key, right?” Graham said, pointing at Skyler.
“Um… I don’t.”
“What?! What the hell did you do with it?”
“I gave it to Linda’s… kid.”
Graham flung around and stepped away from Skyler like an invisible man punched him before dramatically spinning back around. “HER FUCKING KID?!”
“He was there when I snuck in, while on Linda’s computer.”
Graham doubled over, and the sound that came out of his mouth was a mixture of screaming and maniacally laughing. Everybody else in the room stared awkwardly.
“He let me do it, Graham! He just… let me get away with it. Gave me a sleeve of crackers, talked about his family; it was fucking weird.”
“WEIRD! He witnessed his parent’s company collapsing right in front of him, how fucking WEIRD is that!”
“Dude, calm down,” Finn said. I could almost hear his eyes rolling from the other side of the room. “If the kid was friendly to Skyler as she destroyed his parent’s company, then he could help Skyler now with finding the documents.”
“She broke into his fucking house! In what fucking universe does a kid see someone who broke into their house and think, ‘You know what this situation calls for? Some crackers and a conversation about my family!’ Either that kid you encountered is Boo Radley, or he’s an evil fucking genius who sold your ass out!”
“He had every opportunity to sell me out while I was there. He didn’t do it.”
“No, of course he didn’t sell you out while you were in his house! That would be stupid! No, he’s the reason that Eclipse knew that we robbed Solaris, and he’s the reason they knew what we were doing prior to the break-in at their HQ!”
“Graham, you’re talking about a teenager in Lakewood.”
“So what?! Drug cartels exploit children all the time, how do we know Eclipse doesn’t as well?”
“Linda gave Eclipse all of your names,” Adrian said from right next to me. “They wouldn’t have needed that if the kid was already their informant.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourselves that! We’ll see how you fuckers feel when you pull up to the money exchange tomorrow and see him waiting for you in the street with a fucking entourage of bodyguards and an AK-47!”
I had already been struggling to keep up with whatever the fuck was going on, but in an instant, all of the chaos was shut down as an even bigger complication burst through the door.
Aiden, holding out a walkie-talkie, stood motionless before us with his jaw dropped.
“What—the FUCK!” he screamed. “You went to the fucking meeting on your own and then told everyone about it?!” The entire room fell dead silent. “Graham! I told you not to say anything, asshole!”
Graham casually walked up to him and stood face-to-face, highlighting their noticeable difference in height that made Aiden look like a Christmas elf. “And I told you it was too important not to. Jizzwagon.”
Aiden pushed past him and marched up to Eliza, their faces separated by inches. “You promised me that nobody else would know.”
Eliza shoved him back. “Which is why we did not tell them. Orion wants $4 million, and we are figuring out how to get it.”
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“Wh—Four million? And you’re doing that?!”
Adrian stepped into the middle. “Wait, hold the fuck up for a minute; Aiden is a part of this now?”
“It’s his dumbass secret that’s keeping us from telling Brice,” Graham groaned. “Ask him.”
“No, I’ve known Aiden for over 15 years, if there was any secret—”
“SHUT UP, ADRIAN!” Aiden screamed. Adrian moved back as Aiden started almost hyperventilating. He sat down on the floor with his face buried in his hands, muttering the word “No,” under his breath over a dozen times. Eliza knelt down next to him. The rest of us who didn’t know could only quietly watch, guessing as to what the fuck was going on and why this was so important to him.
“Brice is not going to know about this,” Eliza whispered to him. “You will be fine.”
Graham marched back into the circle. “You know what? No, I’m calling bullshit on that. If we have the opportunity here to end the conflict with Eclipse before it begins, Brice has to know about that. I am not staying in this goddamn bunker for the rest of the month simply because Aiden didn’t want us to tell anyone that we actually solved the fucking problem.”
“We don’t have to tell him at all,” Karan said. “Even if he did know we gave them the $4 million they wanted, that doesn’t mean he would just let you guys go. I know how Brice thinks; a single event in isolation will not convince him that you’re safe. No matter what, you guys will still be staying here indefinitely.”
Graham’s head dropped. “Thanks, Karan. Loving your contributions to the discussion right now.”
“So, what’s the big plan here?” Jae asked as Eliza ushered Aiden out of the circle to the other side of the room. “Who’s all going to Cleveland?”
“A couple of us have to go talk to Korey, Skyler has to get murdered by her teenager friend, I have to hang myself in a closet… pretty solid plan. Can’t do anything until we know where we’re getting the money from, but solid nonetheless.”
“And if it doesn’t turn up the $3.3 million that we need?”
Lennox suddenly burst into the circle from behind Karan with an iron expression on his face. “Then they can fucking deal with it.”
“Whoa, what?” Jae said, visibly staggered.
“I was nearly killed by those fuckers. Three of you were held hostage by them. They tried to kill all of us when they shot up the elevator. They’re the ones who started this shit, why should we be bending over backwards to keep them satisfied?”
“Because they’re a multibillion-dollar enterprise with technological and military superiority, and we’re a private militia hiding under a local bank.”
“They attacked us!”
“And we killed five of them.”
Lennox stomped towards Jae, leaving a trail of fire behind him. “Whose side are you on?! We’re not in the wrong here, why are we the ones paying for it?!”
“Are you trying to get us killed, Lennox? We’d be lucky to stand half a fucking chance against them in an all-out war and we’re not going to start one just because you think the circumstances are unfair! Grow the hell up and stay in your lane!”
The quiet that filled the entire room in that moment was deafening. Nobody wanted to move an inch. Jae rarely gets genuinely pissed off, which just makes it all the more intense and off-putting when she suddenly does, even if it’s only for a moment. But given that she’s being attacked by the man who’s life she saved only yesterday, it’s at least understandable.
Lennox crept away to the door, still wide open after Aiden burst through it. “I’m not wasting my time here,” he said antagonistically. “Feel free to waste yours.” He walked out of the room, not even bothering to shut the door.
I imagine that interaction left a bitter taste in everyone’s mouth, so Jae tried to get things back on track in as calm a manner as she could pull off. “Who are we taking to Cleveland?”
“We’ve already settled that Skyler is going,” Graham said awkwardly. “I’ll definitely have to go if all our old business partners are coming into play again. Who’s going to talk to Korey?”
The first opportunity to get the hell out of this place had just presented itself, and I jumped on it instantly. “I’ll do it.”
“Alright, we have volunteer #1.”
Adrian spoke up. “If Percy is going, I’ll go too.”
“And there it is.” Graham clapped. “Fantastic.”
“Wait a damn second,” Finn blurted. “If I was Korey’s main contact during the operation, shouldn’t I be the one going to talk with her?”
“If Percy is doing it, you’re definitely not going with her, and we’re especially not sending you alone. It’s first come, first serve. Deal with it.”
At least somebody has been paying fucking attention.
“But I won’t be alone. You’re going to Cleveland too.”
“For unrelated business. I’m not always going to be there to hold your hand. Sorry to disappoint.”
“Then what am I doing? Staying here?”
“Yes, you fucking are,” I hissed. “After that bullshit at Eclipse? Yeah, you’re staying the fuck here.”
Finn, realizing he was outnumbered, threw his arms up in defeat. “Nobody was asking you, Percy. Goddammit.”
“Is that a plan, then?” Eliza cut in, holding a notepad now. “Percy and Adrian will talk to Korey, Skyler will find the financial records of the other businesses you worked with, and Graham will trace down the money?”
“Sounds like it,” Jae said. “Should I go tell Brice about the supply run thing?”
“Yeah. As for the four of you going to Cleveland—get some breakfast and hang out in your rooms for now, we will let you know when we are leaving.”
“Don’t worry about me, folks,” Finn pitifully announced. “I’ll have a wonderful time here sitting on the shelf. You all have your fun.”
The room started to empty, and within seconds only four of us were still in the room—not counting Aiden, who’s sitting at a table in the far corner. Adrian glanced at me to follow him out. Finn muttering to himself, “Assholes,” was the last thing I heard before shutting the door behind me.
---
By either magic or some miracle, Jae managed to convince Brice, in the heat of looming conflict with terrorists, that the supply run to Lakewood was a good idea. And even more miraculously, he sent some of the militia’s essential people to escort us. There’s Karan (who probably begged Brice to come with), Ahmad (most likely because Graham insisted), Robyn (likely because Skyler insisted), Aiden (???), and Eliza. I’m not sure how Jae explained why it would take us most of the day to do a supply run, but that isn’t my problem.
I got to endure the two-hour drive with the company of Graham, Ahmad, Adrian, and Eliza. Being the smallest one of the group, I naturally had to be squeezed in the middle seat between Adrian and Graham. Eliza stamped out any mention of Aiden early on, so Graham, obviously being Graham, instead talked to Ahmad for the entire drive. Graham ping-ponged between stories of our old operations while Ahmad talked about some of his experiences working in East Cleveland. It was just two straight hours of rambling and laughing at how much of a dick Finn was in college, sparing not even a minute to just take a break or look out of the window and appreciate their surroundings.
“Can we pull over for a minute so these two can feel what nature is like for once?” I shouted randomly.
In the beginning it was at least a little bit enjoyable compared to the hellstorm of yesterday, but after a certain point it just became obnoxious. Not even noise-canceling headphones could dampen out their overlapping voices. I considered rolling my window all the way down to drown them out, but that would’ve made them talk louder. Even still, it’s bound to be significantly more enjoyable than what we’re tasked with dealing with in Cleveland, the specter of which was only growing worse the closer we came to the city.
The moment we turned onto Highway 71 in Strongsville, the tone began to shift, and for the first time, Graham spoke to the group as a whole instead of just Ahmad.
“You know, what alarms me most about this whole thing isn’t getting all of the money we need; what I’m most concerned about is the fact that the question of what happens if we don’t get the money wasn’t actually answered.”
“Well, I am not able to provide one that will definitely be agreed upon,” Eliza said. “But if the three million we need is not found in Cleveland, it will have to come from the bank instead. And at that point, Brice would have to be told about the situation because I am not betting on anybody’s chances of sneaking $3 million out of their reserves. The place may be local, but it is not a cheap establishment.”
Graham pondered for a moment, then said, “I’m just saying, we’re betting a lot on our chances of sneaking $3 million out of Cleveland. There’s always the chance we’ll turn up nothing here, and… well, I don’t like our odds. Just saying, um… that maybe keeping the nuclear option pre-prepared isn’t such a terrible idea.”
“We will keep it in the back of our minds. If things end up going south, we can consider doing it, but we are not leaping straight to it.”
“Yeah, fine. We’re trying to steal $3 million from Cleveland, not Brice,” he said sarcastically. “I got it.” He paused for a few seconds, just enough for there to be a more dramatic effect when he spouted, “I’m just saying, we could go in for the withdrawal of the $700,000 we have and then leave with a little extra—”
“Graham. We are not robbing the bank reserves.”
“Buzzkill,” he whispered under his breath.
12:52. Our moment of truth has arrived. Eliza pulled the car into the lot between the house Korey’s business operates in and another similar house that looks like it predates the World Wars. Both are three stories, at least 7,000 square feet, and painted whiter than the sun. The parking lot was big enough to fit 12 cars and was cracked in every square inch, kind of the like the sun had been baking it nonstop since it was made.
Eliza parked in the corner and turned the car off. “Alright, you all have fun in there.”
“I can assure you we won’t,” Graham said while opening his door. Adrian’s seat belt got stuck inside the buckle, so I had to crawl out of the car from Graham’s side.
For how much damage we did to the house less than a month ago, it’s been patched back up almost seamlessly. It’s impossible to tell where the walls got wrecked, the solar panels appeared to be up and running again on the roof, the cracks on the sidewalk were gone, and there were finally lights on inside.
The three of us stepped off the parking lot and onto the stone pathway running around the building, and Graham pounded on the side door.
“I’m betting 10,000 leones that she screams at us the second we mention Solaris,” Graham said.
“20,000 leones that Solaris is the first thing she mentions,” Adrian suddenly fired back.
“Oh, so that’s how we’re playing, huh? Fine. 15,000 that she doesn’t know who you are.”
“8,000 that Finn already told her about me.”
“17,020 that she spent all her money on fixing the house.”
“5,000 that she forgot to spend it.”
“62,000 that she bought a dog with it.”
“What, you’re betting on multiple outcomes now?”
“Try me, bitch. I play all sides.”
“18,000 that she’s saving it for Thanksgiving.”
“13,008 that she doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”
“11,000 that she bought a car with it.”
“6,200 that she wrecked the car.”
“We‘ll both lose money if she didn’t get a car.”
“You bet more, so you’ll lose more.”
“That doesn’t sound fair.”
“38,000 leones that her landlord took all the money.”
“900 that she’s wearing pajamas.”
“200 that she isn’t.”
“What?”
“40,000 that she makes us tea.”
“70,000 that she slaps you when you bring that up.”
“81,766 that we leave in five minutes.”
“One hundred and—“
“Hold on,” I interrupted. “Who’s keeping track of this?”
“Wait a second, Percy,” Graham interrupted back. “I want to hear this.”
Adrian leaned in with a smug look on his face and said slowly, “One hundred and seventy-eight thousand leones that she kicks—us—out.”
“Oh, it’s on like Voltron, bitch.”
“Donkey Kong. ‘It’s on like Donkey Kong,’ that’s the saying.”
“Guys,” I re-interrupted. “You do realize that it matters if we screw this up, right?”
Graham groaned. “Jesus, you and Eliza are buzzkills this morning.”
“It’s noon.”
“Well that’s your opini—”
The door flew open. Korey stood on the other end with a scarily blank expression on her face, wearing a black wool robe and sweatpants. Score 1,100 for Graham.
“Hey,” she said monotonously. She motioned her head inside and walked into the living room, closely followed by Graham.
“What was all that about?” I whispered to Adrian. He just shrugged his shoulders and walked inside.
The living room, which has apparently been refurbished to serve as Korey’s office, extended to both ends of the house and took up at least a third of the floor’s square footage. A circular mahogany dining table was set up in the far left with 12 padded chairs; both side walls were lined with fully-stocked bookshelves; the brown carpeting felt like walking on a pillow; and in the far right corner sat Korey’s quarter-circle desk, three office chairs already set up in front of it. Graham was already seated on the right chair, leaving me once again squeezed between him and Adrian.
Korey sat down behind her desk and glared at Adrian, possibly setting him up for another meaningless hit on the scoreboard. “Are you that new guy from the army Finn talked about?”
Graham winced in defeat. “Yeah. That’s the guy.”
Nobody said anything for an extensive five seconds, each side waiting for the other to speak first. Korey cut the awkward silence short by swiping away her laptop and paperwork from in front of her and planting her elbows on the table. “So, what are you guys doing here? I know you didn’t come just to catch up with me. And why is Finn not here? I thought he of all you guys would have shown up as well.”
“Finn is… away on other business right now.”
“Right. So I assume this is about your ‘business’ too.”
“Something of the sort.”
Korey glared at Graham and then leaned back. “Don’t tell me you guys got in trouble with Solaris. You promised I wouldn’t be a part of any of that shit.”
“No, no. We’re not in any trouble with Solaris, they’re done for.”
“Good.”
Graham paused for a moment, then blurted, “Just their parent company. But it—”
“WHAT?!”
“They aren’t going to—”
“You fucking told me—”
“I know, but just lis—”
“No, you said the deal was—”
“I know what the deal was, just—”
“No, I am not going to fucking—”
“KOREY! This isn’t about you! Just listen!”
Korey crossed her arms, staring pointedly at Graham with a fuming look on her face.
“We are trying to solve our own problem right now, we’re not breaking the deal. You are going to be fine. We just need to ask you a few questions, then we’ll leave and you can go back to living normally.”
Korey scooted her chair back against the wall. “Ask away.”
“Well, it’s actually only one question, really. Where… exactly is all your money from Solaris?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?! I am not—”
“Korey! Stay focused. We’re not taking the money back, I already explained that. We just need to know where it is.”
“‘Where it is?’ What does that mean?”
“It… means… just, where it is. Where it went, what you did with it, how much you have left. Just… the current status of the money. I guess.”
“The… status of the money.”
“Yes. The status of your money.”
Korey sighed. “Guys, the money is… gone. I already used it. All of it. I mean, you guys gave us over a million dollars, did you expect us not to?”
“No, I very much did,” Graham said while side-eyeing Adrian, who just lost more leones.
“Wait, then what is all of this about?”
“We’re trying to track down the money. I’m pretty sure that was already made clear.”
“‘Track down the money?’ What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry, is one of us in a fucking dementia loop right now? I could have sworn you literally just asked that same question.”
“Yeah, yeah, I just… I’m sorry, it’s been a weird day.”
Korey’s general temperament seems to be riding on a breakneck roller coaster, but it’s hard to say if it’s unusual since I’ve barely spoken to her before.
“Yeah. I’m sure your day has been weird. But we’ve had a fucking unearthly week, and we’d like it to be over as soon as it possibly can be, so please just help us out here.”
“Sure, but… what are you tracking down the Solaris money for?”
“Well, seeing as you no longer have it, I suppose there isn’t any harm in just telling you. In short, we really need it back. A lot of it.”
“You said that you weren’t taking the money back.”
“And we’re not.”
“But you also need it back.”
“Yes, just not from you because you don’t have it. Follow my words.”
“So you just want to know where I spent it?”
“Yes! I keep fucking saying that! We need to know where the goddamn money is!” Korey still didn’t seem to be catching on. “So tell us where you spent the money, and we’ll take it back from there.”
“Uh… okay. Well, I know a lot of it went towards this place.”
Graham waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t bother. “Does that mean your landlord has all the money?”
“No, no, I didn’t need to spend any of it fixing the place, it’s not that. The new landlord guy paid for all the damage himself.”
“Then what did you do with it?”
“Uh… I bought new carpeting, new furniture, finally added ceiling lights, replaced the doors, and I even bought my sister a new—”
“Yeah, I don’t need to know what you bought with it, just, like… where would I go if I wanted the money back?”
“Um, Lowe’s, maybe? I don’t know, I didn’t buy everything from one place.”
Graham facepalmed. “Is there anywhere else?” he muttered sarcastically through his hand.
“Home Depot… Ace Hardware, I think… and… I guess Harbor Freight too.”
“Great. Amazing. We can pull off a grand heist of over a million dollars from a fucking Harbor Freight. This day just keeps getting better and better. Wait, I’m sorry, you went to all those stores and renovated the whole house in just three weeks?”
“No, I hired other people for that.”
“Mother—FUCK!” Graham kicked back in his chair to the center of the room. “Goddamn—cock—juggling—shit—vacuum—”
Adrian suddenly spoke up. “You said that there was a new landlord?”
“Yeah, and he’s a pretty neat guy so far. He paid for all the damages and is even letting me keep part of the value I add to the house, which is why I renovated so much. He bought this place and the one next door from his father just before we got the money. His dad kind of… well… he went a little crazy in those last days. Like, QAnon crazy.”
“Oh. Is he still…?”
“Oh, no, he didn’t die or anything. He was already a little rattled and juggling missing screws beforehand, and after that truck crash thing you did, I guess it was downhill from there.”
Graham kicked back up to the desk at the speed of a car, pushing it back an inch when he slid into it. “What are we talking about now, folks?”
“Korey’s landlord. His dad is apparently a QAnon nutjob and sold off the property to him.”
“Sold?”
“Yes, sold.”
Graham faced Korey. “How much is this place worth?”
I swear to God, Graham.
“The whole property? I think it was, like, nine hundred or so thousand when he sold it.”
Graham’s eyes lit up and he turned to face us. He threw his arms out and whispered, “Guys. $900,000.”
I faced him back. “Are you really suggesting we rob an old man of his entire home investment?”
“He’s a QAnon nut, what the hell is he going to use it for? Guns? He’s probably already stocked up on all the groceries he’ll need until 2024 with the way inflation is right now.”
I looked behind me to Adrian, then to Korey, then back to Graham. “Fuck,” I sighed. “It’s a better start than Home Depot.”
Graham looked to Korey, subtly seeking approval. She just shrugged her shoulders.
“Let’s fucking go!” he shouted while jumping from his chair. “Alright! Where do we start?”
“Um… I could set you up with the current landlord,” Korey said while pulling out her phone.
“Will he agree to help us rob his father?”
“They don’t get on well from what I’ve heard, I doubt he’ll say no. And you still have my number, right?”
“I definitely don’t, but I’m sure I’ll recognize it if you text me first.”
“I… don’t have your number either.”
“Oh, yeah, but you still keep Finn’s around, huh? Stop lying to yourself.”
Korey and Graham retraded their contact information, and we left the house in peace, the opposite of what Adrian placed his biggest leone bet on.
“Pay up them leones, bitch,” Graham demanded to Adrian the second the front door shut behind him. “You owe me 82,314.”
“Bullshit, there’s no way you could do that math in your head.”
“He can,” I said.
“Exactly,” Graham self-applauded. “I’m a motherfucking math god; you couldn’t hold a candle to me if it was melted into your hand.”
“Fine. How much is that in USD?”
“Well, let’s see.” Graham pulled out his phone, and as he started doing the calculations in Google, his giddy enthusiasm visibly turned off. “Like… seven dollars.”
Adrian burst out laughing. “If you want seven dollars, look in a storm drain.” He walked away towards the parking lot.
“He actually only owed me 20,314 leones,” Graham whispered to me. “I bet 64,000 on Korey buying a dog, and she told me she didn’t before I walked out. Not that it mattered much, anyway. I wasn’t expecting the leone to be that devalued. Guess I got my currencies mixed up.”
“And if it wasn’t that devalued?”
“Well, the second currency that’s been rattling in my head for no reason is Sri Lankan Rupees, so with that I would have gotten about… $400 if I didn’t lie. But who can say, though?”
“Only you can, apparently.”
He stared off into the distance for a moment. “Cool. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
Adrian was waiting for us on the sidewalk next to the parking lot and we followed him to the car. We all crawled back into our original seats while Eliza and Ahmad stared back at us for an update.
Graham leaned forward dramatically, putting his head between them both. “Gentlemen? We have—a motherfucking lead.”
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