'No, no and once again no! You can't do it that way. How often have I told you to be more precise in your way of drawing runes? You know it's drawing not painting. No fantasy involved. Rhiannon, you need godforsaken accuracy if you ever want to be able to mind-create them. Otherwise, you won't be able to produce the desired results in your magic.' Merlin explained for what seemed the Otherwise, hundredths time this afternoon. Rhiannon sighed. She knew he was right. Her runes were still sloppy even though she tried to draw them as fluent and flawless as her master. The young dragon just couldn't somehow. Well, there was progress... just not enough to satisfy any of them. Perfectionists. But on the other hand, perfectionism seemed to be a trait both needed and highly widespread in clan-members, Rhia thought as she remembered watching the dragon-clan-warriors train in the mountains training-area. She liked to go there, too.
Rhiannon smiled as she drew the runes anew. It wasn't like they didn't work the she drew them; it was more like it still took her too long to draw them correctly. Her runes didn't have the right 'swing' to it as Merlin had put it, they were stiff and sterile, which matter of factly robbed them of a part of their power. Even if Merlin looked like some kind of heavily used hand-brush, due to ruffling his hair, she knew he still enjoyed teaching her. Rhiannon smiled but cursed him inwardly. His idea of measuring time, testing her knowledge of ancient Greek vocabulary and letting her draw the runes simultaneously using an ink-brush, was at straining in her opinion. But she better than to contradict her master unnecessarily, by now. 'Grin and bear. Quite literally, actually.' she thought as the maintained the smile on her face.
She knew Merlin did it for own good, but her eyes burned even though. They had started early today at six o'clock in the morning. The wizard was an ambitious teacher. After having left the Cave of Merging a few weeks ago he had started to teach her several different languages. He had seen her A-Levels as well as her certificates of her proficiency in German and French as well as her theoretical knowledge of Latin. Merlin had actually read her application she had sent for her internship. Even before she had been turned, since he had been the one to choose the participants. On her first morning after returning from the cave of merging he had recited several phrases of her application letter and mocked her a bit. Telling her she had to improve her rhetorical skills to survive political the intrigues and pitfalls of the clans-court. When she had retorted, she would like to stay perfectly clear of the court, Merlin had just laughed and told her to dream on.
After that she had begun to study Hebrew, ancient Egypt, ancient Greek as well as polishing her Latin to the point casual conversations were possible. She sighed as she thought of her first tries. Merlin had adamantly kept talking to her in Latin and only answered to the same language. It had been hard but after a few days her passive skills had advanced to active ones. When she had discovered she was fluent after a few days she had asked herself whether her teacher in school had just been bad or if the transformation had increased her intelligence somehow. Well, that had quickly felt like a stupid thing to believe as she struggled profoundly learning the other not-so-dead languages. Thankfully her skills in modern German and French were profound enough to understand the ancient texts Merlin had given to her.
Those texts were all rather interesting since they were clan-written. They offered knowledge about history, magic and even some well-written belletrist. But learning several languages and their scriptures at once wasn't the only subject Merlin thought necessary.
They played chess. At least Merlin played virtuously, Rhiannon only tried to please with the thin veil of strategy she could muster to hide her absolute lack of skill in this area. Another meticulously taught subject was clan-politics. Though she could feel her teacher did neither have the ambition nor the cruelty to be a politician in this vicious court, he knew those intrigues well enough to avoid traps. That was what he wanted for her, too. Being to defend oneself. Those days were always concluded by practical magic and runes. Rhiannon's not-so-favourite subject.
One would have presumed it would be fun learning how to use one’s magic. Well, it was more like a whole lot of work. Especially the runes. Those and all those stiff languages made those days bothersome. But once they ended Rhiannon couldn't wait for the next day to arrive.
On every second day they started actual sparring in the training-area and always ended it with either watching some recording of actual matches or some kind of belated war-council reconsidering famous battle-strategies. It was indeed quite disturbing to do so since Merlin tended to take her into illusions that portrait her decisions as well as the actual decisions the famous strategists had made. And their outcome. Merlin, one had to know, was a strategist in war-times as well as a pacifist, who abhorred every war from the bottom of his heart.
Afterwards her teacher taught her about all-natural sciences as he regarded school and vet-school as lacking in this regard. They certainly were compared to those who work at CERN or any other of those highly specialised research-centres he frequently corresponded with. She sighed. Even disregarding his well-known trait of being a wizard, this man was unfathomable. How could she ever hope to compare one day? Merlin though, thought differently regarding her abilities, he was quite fond of her, even though he only praised her in-front of Miriam. Privately. Without Rhiannons knowledge. Naturally.
Whilst learning and even accessing knowledge she always wanted to access, Rhiannon not only learned to accept her new self, but actually came to prefer it over her old one. She was better, faster stronger and had people besides her parents who cared about her.
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Her parents. Her only worry right now. She still hadn't told them and her guilty consciousness kept nagging her. They had no phone in proximity and she couldn't write about it. Well even if they had had a phone in reach, she wouldn't want to tell them via phone-call. They deserved better. She sighed.
'Are you still worried about how to tell it your parents?' Merlin asked. 'You should really stop prying on my thoughts.’ Rhiannon replied angrily, whilst looking for the weak-point in her mental-barrier, her teacher had used to spy. 'Ah come on. You left the doors wide-open. It would have been impolite to decline such an invitation.' the silver dragon smiled slyly. He enjoyed mocking her.
'You are right. I want to tell them but I don't think it's a topic for a phone-call or a letter, you know.' Rhiannon answered his initial question. 'Don't worry it will be early enough to fret about when they are back. They are due for next month, aren't they?' he asked returning to his serious tone. Rhiannon felt like they were two different persons, his serious self and his trickster self. She smiled at her own thought... even though she really liked him. One of him was more than enough.
But when she thought of her parents her smile faded as fast as it appeared. Her greatest fear was the possibility of her parents not accepting her as she was. Regarding her a monster. She sighed. They were liberal and open-minded but when it came to her, they tended to be a tad stubborn.
'If you are not sure how to tell them why don't you wait a little until they come to visit?' Morgan, who had recently joined them, asked Rhiannon seeing her face turn solemn again. He had become her closest friend overtime. She sighed as she had heard the nigh same statement when she had asked her master before. 'Why does everyone tell me to wait on? Is this problem going to solve itself?' she asked the two men, who looked at each and shrugged. 'well, I suppose I have to tell you sometime.' Merlin sighed and rubbed his forehead and eyes with his palms, suddenly looking very old and tired. 'It's actually one of the few things even my dragon-part has qualms teaching you...' he added and looked her in the eyes. The sternness of his gaze made Rhiannon gulp and wonder what could be so horrible, it had to be announced in such a manner.
'what are you doing? You know there are some things mothers forbade us to tell her... she is the dragon-queen, ya know, the job you rejected several times. You've to follow orders...' Morgan interjected just like the loyal soldier he was. But if he had tried to prevent her from digging deeper into the subject, he had chosen the completely wrong way to do it. Now her interest had peaked.
Merlin shot his great-nephew a mildly annoyed gaze before his eyes met Rhiannons again and he continued to speak, utterly ignoring the fuming dragon-prince. 'You have been told the merging would only bring out already existing character-traits more dominantly. Well, that's half a truth, the convenient part actually. I guess you know that during puberty there is a phase whilst a teenager’s frontal-lobe remarkably resembles a serial killer in its scans, didn't you? That's the phase your emotion-control-system is adjusted to its future functions as a responsible, adaptable and empathic adult. The merging does the same thing to you, it adjusts. But its presets differ. We are predators. It's our very nature. That means the merging changes your emotional presets to a more rational, more independent, less empathic, well less caring level. Especially towards humans by the way.' he explained slowly.
'Now you make us sound like psychopathic monsters on a killing-spry amongst humans.' Morgan complained sourly. Merlin shook his head. 'More sociopathic.' he answered and grinned as Morgan facepalmed in response. 'Much better...' the prince answered sarcastically and added ‘you're a jerk sometimes, Merlin...' The 'jerk' didn't reply and continued his explanation instead completely unfazed by the harsh remark.
'It isn't all-bad, you see. Actually, it's an evolutionary adaption to our situation. Just like the cat doesn't mourn the mouse it is hunting. It's just something you need to survive prospective eternity. To put it simple an emotional predator gets killed. That's why all the main clans are bound to have the merging. The minor clans stay much more human than we do. And that's the reason why they can't begin to understand our ways. They are a bridge between humanity and us. We tend to stop thinking human at some point. Utterly logic and rational if we have to. Cruel and unforgiving even. But at the same time inviting and passionate. That's the reason for the huge differences in each fairy-tale. And horror-story. We are the shadow and the light. Wisdom and rage. Indifference and passion. Killers and heroes. But never humane.' the old dragon told her and Rhiannon felt a cold shiver running down her spine. Would she even be able to work as a vet, a highly empathetical job? A horrendous thought. But right now, her parents-issue bothered her even more.
'That's indeed terrifying, but why are you telling me that?' she asked and wondered if I was normal that she felt nothing but a slight tinge of fear hearing such news.
'It seems your logical way of thinking has sped up the progress in your case. I guess even in your human puberty there were no major emotional problems, were there?' he asked and Rhiannon shook her head. Even though she had never been an angel, her parents had never real issues with her. She had been perfectly sane during this time. 'I thought so. That means we have likely already passed the juggernaut-phase. So, you won't hurt anyone out of a fit. But that does also mean you will appear alien to your parents. They are unlikely to just grin and bear. They are fighters, scientists and doctors. If you can't convince them, you are alright. They are them, not likely giving up on saving you anytime soon- with or without your consent. We don't need another crusade, so we have to keep the situation in check. It is the best for all parties if we talk about this very sensitive topic face-to-face, in private.' he furthered. Morgan nodded in agreement.
Rhiannon, though she secretly admitted the truth in those words, shook her head and said 'Let me think about it. I promise I won't do anything rash. Just let me have some time alone...' Both other dragons nodded as they trusted her as a friend. Then she transformed and flew down to the gallery her room was situated at. She avoided the six floors worth of stages as often as she could. Wings did indeed come handy often, but she still wasn't completely sure which side would tip the scale in a more objective perspective, the pros or the cons. Being a dragon was a double-edged sword.