[Contact, please, respond]
…
[PLEASE, if there is intelligent life, please, respond!]
…
[Eh, who'd known, this lizard has a brain the size of a pea, bright as a potato. Sad, but I am all alone here-]
"Who are you calling stupid, you son of a whore?"
[What?]
"What?"
Oh god, is this for real? Is it possible?
[Can you hear me?]
"Oh god, I am crazy, I'm in hell and now hearing voices. Is that you, Satan?
[What? No! I am not the Devil, I am a poor indignant reincarnated soul!]
"Why are you speaking in my head, are you a ghost?"
Okay, someone is getting paranoid here, better clarify everything right away.
[Nah, I'm a parasite, the one inside you right now, sorry not sorry. Let's get along, senpai!]
"…"
[…]
…
[H-hello?]
"Why do I have an otaku tapeworm infestation?"
[H-hey that's racist! I am a parasite, but I am a nice guy!]
"…"
“You took my biomass earlier, didn't you?”
[…]
[W-w-wait, how did you know that? I mean, that was an accident, I didn't mean to do that, it was like, my first time using my skill and…]
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
“You even took all the experience I was getting while I was risking my life…”
…
Well, I did that, really.
[Okay, I am guilty.]
“Can you leave my body please?”
[Oh, I didn't expect that from a lizard, so polite! But I am sorry, I'm stuck here, I got isekai’d here and in the worst possible way as well]
“Oh no”.
[Yeah. Wait, what?]
“What?”
[What? Wait, let's NOT start that again, how do you understand so well what I am talking about, aren't you supposed to be a mindless monster?!]
"What? No, I should be saying that, why is a damn tapeworm talking to me, it's fucking crazy, god, and it's an ISEKAI’D tapeworm, holy shit!
[You're having a meltdown, calm down, it's not thaaaaaat bad, I'm a nice guy. But hey, how did you understand what isekai'd means? Is that common here? Did I miss the hunter's guild around the last corner?]
…
" Its 'cause I'm isekai'd too".
[…]
"…"
…
[WHAT?]
"WHAT?"
[PLEASE, STAHP! What do you mean you are reincarnated too and as a monster as well?]
"I guess so, who would think that after 80 long years I would be reborn as a lizard. My grandma didn't say that to me when I was little…"
[What? And you're a grandma yourself? WTF?! How did you know those words I said? Old people wouldn't recognize them, common!]
"Bah, my grandchildren were bullied in school because of too much anime in their life. They loved showing me those things. What would I do? I just let them watch it as long as they didn't annoy me, you end up getting bits of it anyway."
[I am speechless.]
This situation was way weirder than I thought, it'd made more sense if Yoshi was just an abnormally smart lizard. So, we got two isekai protagonist? Damn, can't lose my spotlight here!
"Ave!"
[What?]
"The ants are coming our way. Can you do something else besides being a worm feasting on my body?"
[Hey, that's racist!! I think I can, never tried, though. I'll mess a bit with your body workings to make us go faster, don't know if there are after effects.]
The first thing I did was to attune myself to Yoshi's eyes. There was indeed a group of ants rushing our way, they were rather small ones, perhaps younger? Anyway, they did look faster than their counterparts.
Host operator - Parameters available:
● Blood pressure
● Adrenaline
● Gastrointestinal processes
Hmm, so I will change adrenaline, that's the stuff that makes us do things harder & faster?
Oh, the sweet, sweet innuendos.
Adrenaline parameters have been set to normal= 100%, would you like to set a new parameter? The maximum you can change right now is to add or lower 10%
Adrenaline levels have risen to 110%, some effects may develop in cascade if the parameters are not set to normal again.
How ominous. Well, whatever. Skills are up, Yoshi curls itself to go bowling again, this time to run away like the good MCs we are.
Since using the rolling skill makes us lose our eyesight, I have no idea if we are, in fact, faster. I get the impression these 10% did way more than these numbers shows.
When we uncurled we encountered ourselves unintentionally starting yet another battle orgy because we ended up striking a group of big centipedes along the way, that as well as the weird bunnies, furry frogs and other weird things. Oh, such love.
" OH GOSH, I FELL SO YOUNG AGAIN, IT'S LIKE DRINKING A LITER OF BEER BACK IN THE GOOD DAYS".
[Oh my, someone is excited. Who would know, huh. Let's get this thing off, okay, grandma?]
{Warning, excessive tempering on the endocrine system may result in unforeseen consequences on the host's body, do you want to continue?}
…
[Oh, that's more than ominous. Common why can't I mess with things like a stupid kid pressing buttons randomly? Why do I have to bear the consequences of my actions?]
"YOU KNOW, I AM THE ONE THAT'S BEARING THE CONSEQUENCES RIGHT NOW".
[Sorry I thought too loud, and yeah, I complain too much, my therapist often said I acted like a little bitch. Can you believe this level of profess-]?
"AND INDEED YOU ARE".
[...]
"..."
---
Yoshi took its time recovering from the adrenaline pump it got, meanwhile we got to know each other a bit more.
[Wait, you're 86?!]
"Yes, boy I am, or was, I am in another body, another life, this time I'm not more than a month old".
[Wow, that is unexpected, I even nicknamed you Yoshi, like, from the games.]
"Never heard of it".
[Oh common, you know about otaku stuff and not games? What kind of grandchildren did you have?]
"You know, there wasn't that much tech available during the great war".
[Wow, you were alive during the World War 2?!]
"No. What are you taking about? I meant the third".