AS I SAT AT THE TABLE AS MY WIFE SET A LARGE PLATE OF BISCUITS AND GRAVY DOWN IN FRONT OF ME, “EAT UP HONEY. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.” THIS WAS A SURPRISE. WE BOTH LOVED COOKING FOR EACH OTHER BUT IT WAS ALMOST ALWAYS DINNERS. “IT SMELLS AMAZING LOVE. WHEN DID YOU GET UP?” “OH, ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. I COULDN’T STAY ASLEEP WITH HOW EXCITED I WAS ABOUT THE TRIP!” I TOOK A BITE, “MARIA, THIS IS PERFECT! THE BEST BISCUITS AND GRAVY I’VE EVER HAD.” IT REALLY WAS TOO. “ONLY THE BEST FOR MY HUSBAND.” WE TALKED A BIT ABOUT OUR TRIPS COMING UP WHILE I ATE AND GOT READY FOR WORK.

MARIA HAS BEEN HOME FOR THE LAST WEEK PREPARING AND PLANNING THE TRIP. I HELP WHEN I GET HOME BUT IT’S MOSTLY BEEN HER. SHE WAITS FOR ME AT THE DOOR, “DRIVE SAFELY.” “ALWAYS DO.” I SAY AS I TOUCH HER STOMACH AND GIVE HER A KISS, “I LOVE YOU GUYS. I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.” “LOVE YOU TOO HONEY.”

WITH THE JEEP ALL PACKED UP AND READY FOR THE THREE DAY CAMPING TRIP UP AT AN OLD FAMILY CAMPSITE DEEP IN THE ROCKIES I LEFT DENVER AND HEADED TO WORK. MY SEVEN MONTH PREGNANT WIFE MARIA IS A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER AND HAD TO WAIT UNTIL JUNE TO GO ON VACATION WHICH WORKED OUT PERFECTLY FOR ME. I’VE BEEN AT THE SAME CONSTRUCTION COMPANY SINCE I WAS SIXTEEN AND TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AS A WORKER.

AFTER TEN YEARS MY FOREMAN WAS RETIRING AND GIVING ME THE POSITION. IT’S A SMALLER COMPANY THAT BUILDS CUSTOM HOMES IN THE DENVER AREA. EIGHTEEN DAYS OF VACATION JUST THE WIFE AND ME. THREE DAYS IN THE ROCKIES AND TWELVE DAYS IN ITALY. MY WIFE MARIA AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TEN YEARS AND MARRIED EIGHT YEARS. WE WERE OUR FIRST EVERYTHINGS AND HAVE BEEN VERY HAPPY. WE DECIDED TO WAIT UNTIL WE WERE BOTH MORE MATURE TO HAVE A BABY AND LAST FALL WE AGREED THAT WAS THE TIME.

I ARRIVE AT THE JOB SITE JUST BEFORE EIGHT AM AND MY FOREMAN OLD BOB COMES TO GREET ME. BEING AROUND EIGHTY THE OLD MAN CAN STILL MOVE PRETTY WELL BUT IT’S DEFINITELY TIME FOR HIM TO RETIRE. HE DESERVES IT.

“HEY TOM, HOW’S MARIA?” “HI BOB, MY WIFE’S GREAT. ACTUALLY THESE LAST FEW MONTHS SHE’S BEEN REALLY EXCITED. HOW’S THE FAMILY?” “NO ONE CAN COMPLAIN. LISTEN TOM, I NEED A FAVOR FROM YOU.” UH OH I’M THINKING. “SURE THING BOB.” I SAY. “I NEED YOU TO TAKE A HALF DAY TODAY AND AT LUNCH DROP THESE OFF IN THE MAIL THEN HEAD HOME.” HE WINKED AT ME AND HANDED ME SOME PACKAGES. “YOU DON’T WANNA SET UP CAMP IN THE DARK NOW.” HE SMILED. “THANKS, I’LL BE SURE TO DO THAT.”

I ACTUALLY DID ALMOST NO WORK THAT DAY, JUST SAID GOODBYE TO MY LONG TIME FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS. AT NOON I HOPPED IN THE JEEP AND HEADED BACK TO DENVER.

ON THE RIDE HOME I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT MY WIFE AND OUR BABY BOY. I TRULY HAD THE AMERICAN DREAM. TWO NICE CARS, A NEW HOME, AND A PERFECT FAMILY. WE HAD BEEN PLANNING THIS TRIP FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW AND ONLY IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS DID WE SETTLE ON WHAT TO DO.

MY WIFE LIKES TO CAMP BUT I LOVED IT AND HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO MUCH IN A LONG TIME. I BASICALLY GREW UP IN THE WOODS. ALSO ROME HAS BEEN A PLACE I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO VISIT AND MY WIFE WANTS TO TRAVEL EVERYWHERE. SHE CAME TO ME AROUND THREE MONTHS AGO AND SAID, “CAMPING THEN ITALY SOUNDS GREAT AND NO MATTER WHERE WE GO AS LONG AS WE ARE TOGETHER NOTHING ELSE REALLY MATTERS.” AFTER DROPPING THE PACKAGES OFF AT THE POST OFFICE I HEAD HOME.

AS I PULL UP TO MY HOUSE THERE’S A CAR I DON’T RECOGNIZE. SO I DON’T BLOCK THEM IN, I PARK IN THE GRASS BY THE ROAD AND WALK TO THE DOOR. I HEAR MY WIFE YELL, “I DON’T EVEN LIKE YOU!” “IF YOU DON’T LIKE ME, HOW COULD YOU DO WHAT WE…” A MAN’S VOICE WAS CUT OFF BY MY WIFE’S, “WHAT WE DID WAS A MISTAKE, THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I’VE EVER MADE. NOW GET OUT!”

I’M FROZEN IN PLACE NEXT TO THE FRONT DOOR FLIES OPEN AND A BLONDE HAIRED BLUE EYED MAN I RECOGNIZE AS JACK, MY WIFE’S BEST FRIEND’S HUSBAND IS STANDING THERE. “OH UH..” AND HE RUNS TO HIS CAR. MY BRAIN FINALLY CATCHES UP BUT HE’S ALREADY MADE IT TO HIS CAR SO I SIT DOWN ON THE BENCH FOR A SECOND. “WHAT WE DID’’ KEEPS PLAYING THROUGH MY HEAD LIKE A NIGHTMARE. I GOT UP, TOOK A DEEP BREATH AND HEADED INSIDE.

AS I OPEN THE DOOR I HEAR MY WIFE YELL ANGRILY, “I TOLD YOU!…OH NO…” MY WIFE’S FACE WENT FROM ANGRY TO SHOCKED AND I WILL REMEMBER IT FOREVER. “IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN!” SHE PLEADED. I FOUND MY ANGER. “WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE? HOW ABOUT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE?!” I YELLED AT MY WIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME. SHE CRUMBLED ONTO THE COUCH AND STARTED CRYING.

I WALK PAST HER AND HEAD INTO THE KITCHEN AND GRAB THE BOTTLE OF VODKA. WHAT AM I DOING? I THINK TO MYSELF AND I CHUCK THE BOTTLE AT THE WALL. IT SLAMS INTO THE WALL WITH A LOUD CRASH AND I START TEARING UP. AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE REALIZATION OF EVERYTHING SUNK IN A BIT. I GRABBED TWO CUPS AND FILLED THEM WITH WATER AND WENT TO CONFRONT MARIA.

MARIA HASN’T MOVED SINCE I WENT INTO THE KITCHEN. SHE’S STILL TEARING UP ON THE COUCH. “HERE.” I HANDED HER SOME WATER. “THANKS LOVE.” SHE WHISPERS. “WHAT WE DID?” SHE SIPS HER WATER AND STARTS CRYING AGAIN. SEEING HER IN PAIN MAKES ME WANT TO COMFORT HER BUT WHY SHE’S IN PAIN MAKES ME WANT TO RUN FROM HER SO I SIT THERE. WITH A VOICE MORE BROKEN THAN EXPECTED I SAID, “I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.”

HER TEAR FILLED BROWN EYES STARED INTO MY TEAR FILLED GRAY EYES. “OKAY.” SHE WHISPERED AND DRANK MORE WATER, “TOM, I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU..” I WAS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING BUT SHE RAISED HER VOICE TO STOP ME “BUT I ALMOST DID.” AFTER I SAID NOTHING FOR A FEW SECONDS SHE TOOK A DEEP BREATH THEN CONTINUED, " SO A FEW MONTHS AGO I WAS COMPLAINING TO LISA THAT YOU WERE WORKING SO MUCH THAT WHEN YOU GOT HOME YOU JUST WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH ME WHICH I LOVED BUT WE STILL HAD CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS OUT IN MARCH AND THE HONEY DO LIST KEPT GROWING.” I STARTED TO SAY SOMETHING. “PLEASE LET ME FINISH WHILE I CAN.”

SHE TOOK ANOTHER DEEP BREATH, “THE NEXT DAY JACK CAME OVER AND OFFERED TO HELP DO THE HONEY DO LIST AND DECORATIONS. AFTER A FEW DAYS OF HIM COMING OVER THE WORK WAS DONE. MY THOUGHTS WERE THAT HE’S A NICE FRIEND HELPING OUT HIS WIFE’S PREGNANT BEST FRIEND. I GUESS WE WERE BEING A LITTLE FLIRTY WITH EACH OTHER BUT I DIDN’T NOTICE.” SHE TOOK A FEW SECONDS TO COMPOSE HERSELF, “WELL HE DID. THE FINAL DAY HE…CAME ONTO ME HARD AND I….RECIPROCATED.” SHE STARTED CRYING AGAIN, “WE UH MADE IT TO THE COUCH AND CLOTHES WERE FLYING OFF. WE FELT EACH OTHER UP FOR A MINUTE THEN I REALIZED WHAT I WAS DOING AND STARTED YELLING AND HE GOT OFF….UP! HE GOT UP!…HE LEFT AND SINCE THEN HE’S BEEN PESTERING ME SAYING WE BELONG TOGETHER AND THERE’S A SPECIAL CONNECTION HE CAN FEEL BETWEEN US. TODAY I THREATENED TO TELL YOU AND LISA EVERYTHING IF HE DIDN’T DROP IT AND AFTER MORE ARGUING HE LEFT. THAT’S THE TRUTH TOM…I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”

MY MIND WAS PICKING APART EVERYTHING IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS AND HER STORY. “IS THIS WHY YOU’VE BEEN SO COMPLIANT THESE LAST FEW MONTHS?” SHE JUST NODDED “IS THAT THE ONLY TIME AND NO…?” SHE NODDED AGAIN.

I SPOTTED SOME RED FLAGS TO THINK OVER LIKE WHY WAS SHE COMPLAINING ABOUT ME NOT TO ME. I KNOW HOW PREGNANCY MAKES HER BUT SHE NEVER FLIRTED WITH ANOTHER MAN BEFORE AT LEAST NOT IN FRONT OF ME. AND FINALLY THE, “HE GOT OFF” PART SOUNDED LIKE A DUMB HONEST MISTAKE SINCE IT MEANS TWO DIFFERENT THINGS THAT WORK THERE BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN A FREUDIAN SLIP. ULTIMATELY COULD I TRUST HER?

“MARIA, I TRULY WANT TO BELIEVE YOU BUT MY TRUST IN YOU IS…BROKEN.” I STRUGGLED TO FIND THE RIGHT WORD TO FIT WHAT I REALLY FELT AND BROKEN WAS THE CLOSEST I COULD THINK OF. “I NEED SOME TIME TO THINK BUT FIRST I’M CALLING LISA.” SHE INSTINCTIVELY HANDS ME HER PHONE. I WALK OUTSIDE AND CALL LISA.

AFTER THREE RINGS LISA ANSWERS TWO KIDS ARE ARGUING IN THE BACKGROUND, “HELLO?” “HEY LISA, THIS IS TOM, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT.” I HEARD HER WALKING AWAY FROM THE KIDS, “IS EVERYTHING OK?” I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT THAT ONE QUESTION BROKE MY CONTROL AND I STARTED CRYING, “MARIA AND JACK…” IS ALL I GET OUT “WHAT? MARIA AND JACK WHAT TOM!” LISA SAID LOUDLY, STARTING TO SOUND WORRIED.

I GOT SOME CONTROL BACK AND TOOK A BREATH. “OKAY MARIA CLAIMS THEY FELT EACH OTHER UP ONCE A FEW MONTHS AGO BUT NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AND NOW JACK WON’T LEAVE HER ALONE.” AFTER A FEW SECONDS LISA REPLIED, “DO YOU BELIEVE HER?” LISA SOUNDED DEFEATED. DID I? “I THINK SO, BUT THE TRUST IS BROKEN SO I DON’T KNOW.” I CAN HEAR LISA START TO SNIFFLE. “I’M SORRY FOR THE BAD NEWS LISA.” “THANKS FOR TELLING ME BYE.” SHE SAID QUICKLY AS SHE HUNG UP I ASSUMED BEFORE SHE COULD BREAK DOWN.

MARIA IS STILL SITTING ON THE COUCH BUT NOW SHE’S JUST STARING AT ALL OUR PICTURES ON THE WALL. FAMILY PICTURES OF US AND HER FAMILY MOSTLY SINCE I REALLY ONLY HAVE AN OLDER SISTER THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY. I SAT DOWN NEXT TO HER BUT GUARDED TO SHOW HER TO KEEP A DISTANCE. “MARIA, I THINK I NEED A FEW DAYS TO MYSELF. WE HAVE BEEN JOINED AT THE HIP FOR TEN YEARS. A FEW DAYS APART WILL HELP US KNOW WHAT WE WANT.” “YOU TOM, ALL I WANT IS YOU.” SHE WHISPERED. I OPEN MY ARMS AND SHE TURNS AND JUMPS INTO ME.

AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF SHARED EMOTIONS I SPEAK UP, “I LOVE YOU MARIA AND IN A FEW DAYS IF WE STILL FEEL THAT WE WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER WE WILL START FRESH IN ROME BUT RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO GET INTO THE JEEP AND GO CAMPING BY MYSELF.” I SAY AS I PET HER NOW DAMP BROWN HAIR. SHE NODDED, PROBABLY NOT AGREEING BUT UNDERSTANDING, “YOU ARE MY WORLD TOM, I LOVE YOU. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME.” “I LOVE YOU TOO MARIA AND….I’LL BE BACK.” I SAY IN A TERRIBLE ARNOLD IMPRESSION. WE SHARED A TENTATIVE SMILE AND I HEADED TO THE JEEP FOR THE CAMPING TRIP.