THE THREE HOUR DRIVE WAS ONE OF SILENCE, SADNESS, AND THOUGHT. THOUGHTS ABOUT THE DAY’S EVENTS AND HOW IT HAPPENED. WHAT I SHOULD DO ABOUT IT AND WHAT I DID FOR IT TO HAPPEN. ALSO THINGS LIKE HOW MUCH WE WOULD BE ENJOYING THIS CAR RIDE TOGETHER OR IF SHE’S ENJOYING JACK RIGHT NOW.

ANGRY AT MY OWN THOUGHTS AS I NEAR THE OLD CAMPSITE. JUDGING BY THE WASHED OUT ROAD IT HASN’T BEEN USED IN A LONG TIME. THE LAST THIRTY MINUTES I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON DRIVING. IT’S BASICALLY FOUR WHEELING BUT I ARRIVED SAFELY.

IT’S AS BEAUTIFUL AS I REMEMBER. I LOOK AT THE CLOCK. IT WAS FOUR TWENTY. I LET OUT A LITTLE GIGGLE AND HOP OUT OF THE JEEP. IT’S COMPLETELY SILENT BESIDES A FEW BIRDS CHIRPING AND THE FLOW OF WATER IN THE RIVER NEARBY. BETWEEN WHERE I PARKED AND THE RIVER THERE’S ALMOST NO VEGETATION, JUST ROCKY FOREST GROUND AND A SMALL RUNDOWN CABIN.

THE MEMORIES OF MY CHILDHOOD COME RUSHING TO ME. FISHING IN THE RIVER WITH MY DAD BEFORE HE AND MY MOM PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS FIFTEEN. MY FATHER WAS A FULL BLOODED NATIVE AMERICAN. MOSTLY OF THE UTE TRIBE WHO ARE AND HAVE BEEN NATIVES OF COLORADO FOR MANY MILLENNIA. HE WAS A LARGER MAN WITH BLACK HAIR AND DARK EYES.

MY MOTHER WAS BORN IN SWEDEN BUT MOVED TO DENVER WHEN SHE WAS TWO. SHE WAS A VERY PRETTY BLONDE WOMAN. MY DARKER SKIN, GRAY EYES AND LARGER BUILD MAKE SENSE WHEN YOU SEE MY PARENTS FULL BLOODED NATIONALITIES. MARIA’S PARENTS, WHO WERE MY PARENTS BEST FRIENDS TOOK ME IN AFTER MY PARENTS PASSED AWAY. MARIA’S DAD WAS BORN IN SPAIN AND HE MOVED TO THE US WHEN HE WAS BARELY AN ADULT. HE TRAVELED A BIT AND ENDED UP MEETING THIS YOUNG IRISH WOMAN IN DENVER AND MARRIED HER DAYS LATER THEN THEY EVENTUALLY HAD THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, MARIA.

I MADE MY WAY TO THE CABIN AND IT IS WAY MORE RUNDOWN THAN I REMEMBERED. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME AND WITH THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN WINTERS IT’S NOT THAT SURPRISING. WE USED TO COME UP HERE TWICE A YEAR AND STAY FOR A FEW DAYS EACH TIME AND I TRULY MISSED IT. MARIA’S FAMILY DIDN’T GO CAMPING BUT TOOK US TWICE FOR ME. I LOVED MY IN-LAWS AS MUCH AS MY OWN PARENTS.

I SHEATHE MY MACHETE AND HOLSTER MY FIFTY CAL REVOLVER, GRAB A SHOVEL AND HOP OUT OF THE JEEP. I CLEAN THE CAMPSITE UP AND SURVEY THE SURROUNDINGS. THE CABIN IS TOO FAR GONE TO SLEEP IN BUT I BROUGHT A TENT JUST IN CASE. I CLEARED A NICE SPOT FOR THE TENT AND THREW THE PINE NEEDLES IN THE FIRE PIT I FIXED UP IN FRONT OF THE CABIN AND SET THE TENT UP.

I WALK AROUND CLEARING SMALL UNDERBRUSH AND GATHERING WOOD AND A FEW OVERNIGHT LOGS. AFTER THAT I MOVE MY RIFLE AND SLEEPING BAG INTO THE TENT AND I TAKE THE FOOD INTO THE CABIN. EVERY FEW MINUTES I STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS AND THE RIVER. HOW I’VE MISSED THE PEACE AND QUIET. THE CITY LIFE NEVER FIT ME BUT MARIA WORKED AS A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER IN DENVER AND WELL…. “HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE.” I MUMBLE AND LET OUT A SAD CHUCKLE.

WITH THE SUN NOW SETTING AND THE TEMPERATURE DROPPING I START A FIRE WITH MY FLINT AND STEEL ON MY CAR KEY CHAIN BECAUSE IT’S WAY COOLER THAN HAVING A LIGHTER. IT ALWAYS AMAZED ME HOW SOMETHING AS DESTRUCTIVE AS FIRE COULD MAKE ME FEEL SO SAFE. NORMALLY I WOULD COOK A BIG CAMPING TYPE MEAL BUT I’M ALONE SO WEENIES AND BEANS IT IS. AFTER A NICE MEAL SITTING AND LISTENING TO THE FIRE AND THE RIVER FOR A WHILE I THREW AN OVERNIGHTER LOG ON THE FIRE AND HEADED INTO THE TENT.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I CAN REMEMBER BEING ALONE SINCE MY PARENTS DIED AND I DON’T LIKE IT. WHY DIDN’T SHE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HONEY DO LIST OR OTHER CHORES? WHY DIDN’T SHE TALK TO ME WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENED OR THE MONTHS OF HARASSMENT AFTERWARDS? WE DON’T NEED TIME APART, WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE AND TALK THEN MAYBE COUNSELING.

I GOT MY SMALL YELLOW NOTEBOOK I USE MOSTLY FOR WORK AND WROTE HER A LITTLE LOVE POEM. (ABOUT ALWAYS BEING THERE AND HOW STRONG LOVE IS AND COMMUNICATION) I TAKE MY WEDDING RING OFF AND SET IT ON THE NOTEBOOK, REMOVE MY MACHETE, EMPTY MY POCKETS, AND GO TO BED KNOWING I HAVE A LONG TRIP IN THE MORNING AND SADLY WON’T DO ANY FISHING. “MARIA, MY WIFE, I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.”

JOLTED AWAKE BY A LOUD CRASH I GRAB MY RIFLE AND FLASHLIGHT. MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS A BEAR GETTING INTO THE CABIN FOR FOOD BUT I DON’T HEAR ANYTHING ELSE. IT’S AMAZING HOW A THIN SHEET OF TENT FABRIC MAKES YOU FEEL SAFE. KNOWING I’M NOT ACTUALLY SAFE I QUIETLY UNZIP MY TENT. BEAR, LARGE TREE BRANCH, POACHERS, OR THIEVES?

QUIETING MY MIND I RAISE MY FLASHLIGHT AND RIFLE AND HEAD OUT WITH MY FLASHLIGHT OFF AND READY TO FIRE. THE FIRE IS JUST RED COALS AND ALL I HEAR IS THE CALM RIVER. STILL IN FIRING POSITION AND MY FLASHLIGHT OFF I DO A 360 AND SPOT A GLOW WHERE MY JEEP…WAS?

I TURN MY FLASHLIGHT ON AND HEAD TOWARD THE GLOW. I SPOTTED MY JEEP ABOUT FIFTEEN FEET FROM WHERE I PARKED AGAINST A TREE. MY HEART RATE STARTS RISING EVEN MORE. A QUICK LOOK OVER AND IT’S ON ALL FOUR WHEELS AND LOOKS DRIVABLE WITH JUST SOME DENTS AND SCRATCHES. LOOKING BACK TO WHERE I PARKED, IT’S A CRATER LARGER THAN MY CAR.

THE GLOW IS GONE AND AFTER SHINING MY FLASHLIGHT IN IT I THINK HOW LUCKY I AM TO BE STANDING HERE. WAIT, SHOULDN’T I HAVE FELT SOMETHING? A RUMBLE IN THE EARTH, A SHOCK-WAVE, AND THE SOUND WAS DEFINITELY MY CAR HITTING THE TREE. I START LOOKING IN THE CRATER FOR A METEORITE. IN THE CENTER IT’S ALMOST LIKE THERE’S A SHADOW OF A LARGE HUMAN. FEAR OVERTAKES ME AND I RAISE MY RIFLE TOWARDS IT AND I’M FLYING THROUGH THE AIR? AM I DYING? MARIA? MY SON I HAVE YET TO MEET? GOD? “YES?” CAME A DEEP BARITONE VOICE. “I UH UH.”

THE VOICE INTERRUPTS ME, “LET’S START WITH THE CRATER. ONE OF THE MINOR GODS OF MY WORLD KNOWN AS ZEKE LANDED THERE AND SENSED YOU AS A THREAT AND ATTACKED YOU FIRST. EARTH’S ALMIGHTY GOD INSTANTLY SMOTE HIM. ZEKE CORRUPTED YOU WITH MY WORLD’S ESSENCE AND SINCE YOU DIDN’T REALLY BELIEVE IN EARTH’S ALMIGHTY GOD HE HANDED YOU OVER TO ME MAGAR THE ALMIGHTY GOD OF THE APTLY NAMED MAGARNIA, SO TOM OF EARTH ANY QUESTIONS?” THE DEEP VOICE SAID ALMOST CHEERFULLY.

I TAKE A DEEP BREATH TO HELP COMPREHEND WHAT HE IS SAYING BUT AS I DO I REALIZE EVERYTHING IS PURE WHITE AND I HAVE NO BODY. I MENTALLY START PANICKING AND I WANT TO RUN BUT OBVIOUSLY I CAN’T. “OH! SORRY ABOUT THAT.” HE LAUGHS AS HIS VOICE CUTS THROUGH MY MIND. “I CAN’T FEEL YOU LIKE ONE OF MY OWN YET. I ALSO REALIZED YOUR PLANET’S MAGIC WAS CUT OFF LONG AGO SO ALL THIS IS NEW TO YOU.”

AS MAGAR WAS SPEAKING THESE WORDS AN EXACT COPY OF MY DINING ROOM WAS FORMING IN FRONT OF ME. THE ANTIQUE SIX CHAIR DINING SET MY PARENTS LEFT ME. PICTURES OF MARIA AND I AND OUR FAMILY ON THE WALLS. THE CEILING REMAINED PURE WHITE THOUGH. A LARGE MAN WITH LONG RED HAIR AND A GIANT RED BEARD WAS SITTING AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE. HE WAVED HIS HAND AT THE CHAIR NEXT TO HIM “CARE TO JOIN ME TOM?"

IT HADN’T SET IN THAT I DIDN’T HAVE A BODY SO I NATURALLY STARTED TO WALK THAT WAY AND I HAD MY BODY BACK. SITTING DOWN AND STARING AT THE LARGE MAN I NOTICED HE WAS WAITING FOR MY QUESTIONS.

“CAN I GO HOME?’’ I ASK. I SEE THE SADNESS IN HIS EYES, “I CAN’T ANSWER THAT BECAUSE THAT’S EARTH’S ALMIGHTY GOD’S JURISDICTION BUT IN A WORLD FULL OF MAGIC ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.” HE GAVE ME A SMILE. I TOOK THAT AS HE CAN’T HELP BUT IT’S POSSIBLE.

I THOUGHT OF DOZENS OF QUESTIONS YOU CAN ONLY ASK A GOD BUT SETTLED FOR A SIMPLE ONE. “WHAT’S NEXT?” “I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN TO MAGARNIA WHERE YOU WILL LIVE ON OF COURSE.” HE CONTINUED TO SMILE. “AND THERE IS MAGIC IN THIS WORLD?” MAGAR NODS, “CAN I LEARN MAGIC?” “YES, BETTER THAN MOST I ASSUME.” “YOU ASSUME?” MAGAR LAUGHED DEEPLY, “YES, THE CORRUPTION IN YOU IS ACTUALLY ZEKE’S ESSENCE AND GODS ARE PURELY MAGICAL. YOU ABSORBING SOME OF THAT ESSENCE WILL CERTAINLY MAKE YOU POWERFUL WITH SOME TRAINING.” HE PAUSED DRAMATICALLY, “YOU ARE STILL ONLY HUMAN. OKAY NOW THE LAST QUESTION.”

“WILL YOU HELP ME?” “YES, INITIALLY I WILL. I CAN ENHANCE YOUR TOUGHNESS AND HELP YOUR LEARNING COMPREHENSION SO YOU CAN LIVE AND CATCH UP. ANY MORE THAN THAT AND I WOULD BE CROSSING LINES.” HE WINKED AT ME AND SMILED, “GOOD LUCK TOM AND I HOPE WE DON’T MEET AGAIN FOR A LONG LONG TIME.” HE SAYS AS HE DISAPPEARS LEAVING ME TO MY THOUGHTS. I WAS JUST HAVING A CASUAL CONVERSATION WITH A GOD ABOUT MAGIC AND WORLDS AND STUFF. “OKAY, THERE’S NO WAY THIS IS HAPPENING.’’ I SAY OUT LOUD, NOT BELIEVING THAT THIS IS REAL. I STAND UP AND START PACING AROUND MY DINER THEN EVERYTHING FADES TO WHITE AGAIN.