Alchemy is a Complicated Mess of Fiction
We had been traveling across the country for a while now and have finally made it to Istanbul. From the information that I managed to get from Constantine before we left Nicolas Flamel should be in the Yerebatan Cistern. Jared and I headed down to the cistern near the Blue Mosque. We walked down pitch black stairs towards flickering lights. I ran my fingers along the wall to keep track of deep we got.
Our foot steps echoed through the granite chamber. As we reached the bottom I was greeted by the sight of boardwalks over water lit with floating colored flames. A figure was illuminated standing in the water over some engravings. I walked closer as Jared stood stunned by the sight.
I stood behind the figure as he muttered to himself. “Ahem.” The figure jumped.
“Who’s there?” He turned quickly in the water distorting the view of the engravings. “Ahh… Amke? Is that you? I haven’t seen you in so long.” A large smile broke out on his face. [ Sigh, why of all people did it have to be him? ]
I frowned “It is I, Alchemist.” He climbed up onto the boardwalk.
“I haven’t seen you in ages. Look at you. You haven't changed a bit. I’m so glad.” Jared came walking up behind me in silence.
“If I had it my way I would never see you again.”
“Ah no reason to be so mean. I mean it is the first time we see each other in over 2,000 years. I missed you so much. All the mysteries that I was unable to research after you left. Sigh, I truly regretted not being able to contain you in the chamber of 9.” Nicholas Flamel’s eyes trailed off into the distance.
“Yes the Chamber of the 9, what a horrible place. It was so boring and meaningless not only that I was stuck with you and your ridiculous experiments all day. Speaking of which why aren’t you dead?”
“Aw well, that’s a secret you know. Can’t tell you anything about it. But maybe you can guess? Yes I think making it guessable isn’t against the rules. Lets see… Ohhh I know what are the principle research topics of alchemy?” His eyes shone with impatiens for my answer.
[ Sigh, I hate you so much. ] “The principle research topics are Transmutation, Al-iksir, and Magnum Opus.”
“That’s right! Well this wonderful age resistant body came from research on the Al-iksir. Hahahahahaha I was the first in the Order to reach that point also the first alchemist to reach it. The others thought that research on the Magnum Opus would do it but that was just a hoax!” His joy only served to irritate me. “Well enough of that who is this silent stocker you have with you?”
Jared squinted his eyes at being called a stocker. “… He is Jared Von Dracul. Son of Juliana Van Dracul and Constantine Von Dracul.”
“Oh my! Your their son? I have so many questions! Ohhhh, lets start with what you are. Would you be a new species? Do you retain both of the powers of a Dragon and a Vampire? Do you have none? Or perhaps a completely new and different set of powers? Do you change shape or are stuck in this form. Does your coloring mean anything about what you can do? That would help me find out some answers as well. How do you feed? Do you ….”
“Silence!” I cut him off before it became impossible to stop him. “We did not come here to help with whatever research your doing and we definitely did not come here to let you know more about supernatural creatures. We came to ask about the Zombies.”
“Boo, you ruin my fun. I just wanted to know more about Jared.” I glared at the Alchemist as he spoke. To which there was no reaction. “Well if its about the Zombies ask away I’ll see what I can do for you. It of corse is free of charge just for you Amke.” He smiled brightly as I shuddered.
“…Right, first I would like you to tell me what you know about the Zombies.”
“Hmmm, Lets see. Most of the Zombies are immortal however some will die if you damage the brain. About 1 in 5 will not die, I think. Although it is hard to tell as there is no way to tell the difference between an immortal one and a normal one. I’m actually quite interested in how the Zombies became immortal.” [ What? Not all of them are immortal? ] “They are attracted to sound so it makes it relatively easy to dodge around them if your quite. Lastly I know if you destroy the body it will turn to ash and reform. Over all a very interesting creature.”
“… What do you mean only 1 in 5 are immortal?”
“Ah well, there is about a 1 in 5 chance that the Zombie will not die. I don’t know why but the stat is pretty realistic. I tried it out myself. When I threw calcium and water at them about four would die in the horde. The last one would just keep burning a beautiful orange as it walked. It was so fascinating. This also created flaming orange immortal Zombies. Its was so funny to watch them. Hahahahahaha”
“…” Jared slowly backed up until there was quite a bit of distance between him and the Alchemist.
“Sigh, of course you would make them flaming Zombies. Do the flames go out over time?”
“I suppose. If they run out of calcium then the orange ones will, but it would still keep burning the Zombies themselves.”
“… I have another question. Would the Magnum Opus be able to make Immortal Zombies?”
Nicholas Flemmel frowned at me. “Magnum Opus is just a myth. An old wives tail that we tell ignorant alchemists. It was set up by the Nine to keep the real Immortality potion out of their hands. As a result it became this big thing. Its ridiculous really. A stone as clear as glass, soluble in water, and resistant to flame. Preposterous! Those who believe that do not deserve real Immortality. Even the names for it helps to tell people that it is a trick and based only on fictional theory. Lapis philosophorum the ‘Blue child of Philosophy’ or the more common name Philosopher’s stone which literally says it it a stone of theory. The name Magnum Opus just means ‘Great work method of creation’ it doesn't even say that it is a stone. So no it is absolutely preposterous to say that the Zombies were created through the use of the Magnum Opus as it is a mere joke from the Nine to begin with.”
“… I see. Then what sort of alchemy could have created immortality?”
“Why Al-iksir of course. Not only has it already been proven to work. There are several different ways and recipes to make one. However many of them lead to the death of the drinker. This is still its own type of immortality of corse its just that your immortally dead. Kehehehehe.”
“... Can the Al-iksir be used on the already dead?”
“I guess but it won’t have any effect…. But if it was a functioning corpse it would just make them one forever but I’m not sure how effective that could be. Plus you would have to bring one to life for this and making Homunculus was banned for obvious reasons. But the most effective one of the Al-iksirs would have to be the one from Chinese alchemists. Ah, their recipe was just brilliant. The only problem was that it killed almost everyone who drank it. If I remember correctly it was made with mercury, salts of mercury, sulfur, and arsenic. All deadly to the human body this meant that most people died when drinking it, but if you mixed it right and added my special ingredient then it worked perfectly.”
“What would happen if the original recipe was used on an animated corpse?”
“Well I imagine it would become immortal. A corpse will not suffer from the poisons as it does not use its bodily functions anymore. However you would have to find someone with the ability to bring the dead to life. The only ones I can think that can do that are Necromancers but I haven’t seen one in years. Plus what Necromancer would dabble in alchemy? And even if they did what fool would use it on a corpse?”
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
[ Sigh, I can think of one. ] “… Alchemist I will take my leave now. Your were of great help.”
“I am always happy to help you Amke.” He smiled a sickening sweet smile. “Please drop by whenever. I love to have chats with you, and if possible maybe an experiment here and there.” His smile turned predatory. I frowned and started walking away dragging Jared behind. “See you Amke, oh you go by Kaz now right? I’ll drop by the town some time. Now that you stay in one place it’s so much easier to track you down. See you then.”
I shuddered, [ Damned, Alchemist stocker! My you die of asphyxiation caused by your own experiments! ]
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(‘Resident’ POV)
Shadow Wood was annoyingly loud today. I looked out the window only to see the Vampires walking down the street dragging fluffy cats behind them. They were all headed to the Obsidian & Blood Cafe for a ’Siege Twixt Grimalkin’. I could not believe how ridiculous the Vampires were becoming. Everyday it became worse and worse.
I pulled out a sheet of paper and and wrote:
Dear Witch, when is KAz scheduled to return?
I tossed the paper up to be swallowed by darkness leaving it to the shadows to deliver my message. If I have to spend any more time in this hell of paperwork and fluffy joy I was going to burn it to the ground. This of corse defeat the purpose of the town in the first place but recently I have been questioning the need for it. With the Humans dead and or suffering I did not need a town to acted as a disguise. All it would take is one more fluffy, crazy, miserably happy person and I would destroy it.
Smiling to myself at the thought of unleashing a mass plague on this miserable little town I completed more paperwork. [ Who should I start with? Ah, I know that accursed Witch that started this mess. ]
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Character List
Spoiler :
Kaz - Mayor of Shadow Wood
Self proclaimed 'Green Spirit'
'Embodiment of forest'
Past names: Mor, Amke
Terrry - Necromancer
Cause of the Zombies
Kaz's Assistant
Babysitter
A Bosh
'Resident' - Lives in a crypt
Friend of Kaz
Farries the Dead to the Underworld
Replacement Mayor
Lisa - Cat Sidhe
Kaz's secretary
Has a crow familier named Eitilt
Ali Baba - Witch
Twin Sister to Baba Yoga
'Alba'
Baba Yoga - Witch
Twin Sister to Ali Baba
'Bayo'
Jasmine - Leader of the Water Fae
Van - In control of the Power Plant
....'Human'
Dirk - Employees of Power Plant
Golems (created by Van)
David Baker - Mayor of Redroad
Human
Missing
Inta - Ali Baba's daughter
Usor - Ali Baba's Son
Clara - Little girl from National Park
Living with Kaz
Wood Elf
Akuji - Wizard
Head of Magic clan
Kraken Family - 3 in total
Live in the pond
From Chaos dimension
Baby Loves Ice Cream
Badru - Head of the Library
Sphinx (Cheetah variety)
Translating Kaz's Book
Seth - Alpha of Werewolf Pack
Tasked with investigating Zombies
Loves animals (especially fluffy cats)
Constantine Dracul - Lives in a Castle
In the Court of Life
Husband to Juliana
Vampire
Juliana Ann Dracul - Necromancer
Terry's Master
Wife to Constantine
Dragon
Jared Dracul - Son of Constantine and Juliana
Chasing Viola
Viola Heart - Daughter of the King of the Court of Life
Being Chased by Jared
Nicolas Flamel - Alchemist
1 of the Order of 9
Immortal?
Kaz's Stocker
Experiment maniac