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An Idiot's Guide to Spellcasting
Chapter One: The Rules!

Chapter One: The Rules!

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> So you picked up your first book on magic! Or, you’re a seasoned magic user who can’t read the ancient Kraken I used when titling this book, good luck translating that. Either way, you’re about to realise that this isn’t exactly your normal kind of book, even of the magical variety. Most of the pages are blank. More pages will appear as you need them. You can't just skip to the good bits. That is just how it is. Get over it. If you want to break the spell you’ll need acid from the second stomach of the Torn’t, so don’t even try.

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> So let’s lay down a few ground rules first:

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> 1. No skipping to the end. It’s not like you can, but if I didn’t put it in the rules the spell might not have worked.

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> 2. If this book states something to be totally possible, it is… probably.

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> 3. If this book states something is not possible, it… probably isn’t?

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> 4. If this book states that something is not recommended, NEVER DO IT.

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> 5. If you do it anyway, take a bard with you to recount the tale.

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> 6. EVERYONE can do magic. Yes, even you.

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> You’ll know the book is over when I tell you its title, and you’ll know you’re done with the book when you understand its title.

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> With the introduction out of the way, let’s begin.

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“Well that’s probably not normal.” I say.

‘I mean, it might be normal, for the school. But for me? Nope.’

Okay, recap. I show up to move into the dorms, and the first thing I do is start to unpack. Then, I find a book in my bag, that I didn’t put there, claiming to be a textbook on magic. So far so weird.

Even weirder? The book is almost completely blank. After the rules, there’s nothing.

“Strange…”

Knock Knock Knock

“Orientation starts in thirty minutes! All new students must attend!” someone called from the hall.

I put the book down, this mystery could wait.

“Okay, I’ll be there!” I yelled back.

‘I need to make at least a somewhat good impression, my parents would not like it if I didn’t.’

So I put the book down on my new desk and packed everything I needed for orientation.

“Okay, I’ve got my schedule, my good shoes, my pens, what else…”

I gathered my things and left the room.

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As I made my way to the lecture hall they would use for orientation I noticed, as usual, I was one of the tallest people there.

Not the tallest mind you, but like top ten.

‘Honestly, why do I have to stand out so much. This sucks.’

I heard shouting over on the side of the path I was walking on, there’s a large crowd of people, calling out to passers by and handing out scrolls.

“Come check out the greenhouses! We grow all manner of herbs to cure what ails you!” One woman shouted.

“Alchemy supplies are provided at generous prices on floor six in tower five!” Someone else shouted.

It doesn’t matter where you go, there’ll always be someone trying to sell you something.

Not that I wasn’t used to it. I’ve spent enough time around my dad’s friends to get a lifetime of petty advertising.

That’s when a particularly large man, like taller than me, practically screamed into my ears, “Join us in FENCING! Learn to beat your lessers in HONORABLE combat! We provide the BEST training at WONDERFUL prices! I just KNOW you would be great at it!”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

‘Fucking hell. That hurt.’

It’s a well known fact that yelling straight into the ears of one of the cat-folk, or any other race with much better than average hearing, fucking hurt. Like a kick to the balls, but in your brain.

Now, this dude might not know about that, in which case he’s an ignorant jackass. Or, he does know, which would make him a massive jackass. Either way, there was really only one appropriate response to this.

“Shut up jackass!” I yell back, and kept walking. No need to spend any more time than necessary around loud jackasses.

He gave me a look like he had just bitten into a ripe lemon. “I expected no less from a fucking stray!” He shouted back.

Okay. Massive jackass confirmed. Avoid if at all possible.

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Orientation is mostly boring.

They had tables set up with all the professors spread out throughout the building. We had to go through our list and meet with each of them that we had, and they would give us more lists.

Lists of required materials, books, meeting times, meeting days, exceptions to those meeting days and times, exceptions to those exceptions, and so on.

I heard one professor even had a list of “people to avoid” that they were giving out. That’s a big-ass red flag if I ever heard one. Luckily they weren’t one of my professors.

Once we had these lists, we were supposed to go to the various facilities on campus to buy what we needed.

“Damn, that’s a lot of lists. How many classes are you taking?” someone next to me asks.

I look over at them to see a harpy, probably about half my height.

‘Fucking seven’ I think.

“Seven” I say.

“What? Why would you take that many? Isn’t it a bit too much?” She seemed genuinely curious.

“This is most certainly not my intention, but my father insisted.”

“Really? Jeez that sucks.” she said.

‘She seems nice.’

“How about you? What are you taking?” I ask.

“Oh I’m only taking four; arithmetic, introduction to magic, simple mechanisms, and etiquette.”

“I’m taking intro to magic too, maybe I’ll see you there? I’m Triss.”

“Nice to meet you Triss, I’m Ocylia, but people usually just call me Cyl.”

“Nice to meet you Cyl. I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise!” She said.

After that, we parted ways.

I noticed that the headmaster didn’t make an appearance, even though they were supposed to.

‘Oh well, they’re probably busy.’ I thought as I looked back at one of my long-ass lists.

“This is going to be a long day…”

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On my way through the halls I notice the jackass from this morning, still yelling up a storm with what were probably his friends.

‘I almost feel sorry for them. Man that guy’s a dick. Made me want to punch him in the nose. Hope I never see him again.’

I take out my lists and look at them.

‘Finally done for the day.’

I yawn, and stretch my sore arms. ‘I’m really tired. I think I’ll just go back to my room and sleep.’

I leave and make my way back to the dorm I was staying at.

“My room is on the fifth floor… that’s probably going to get old fast.” I say, as I start my long walk up the stairs.

As I approach the room, I open up my bag to find the room key.

“It’s got to be in here somewhere… wait, what?”

The book…

The book from this morning…

It’s in my bag.

“Well that’s definitely not normal.”

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