Novels2Search
An Idiot's Guide to Spellcasting
Chapter Five: Pleas Stop I'm Trying to Brood

Chapter Five: Pleas Stop I'm Trying to Brood

Chapter Five

“Well… shit.” I say, a bit exasperated.

I’ve been sitting here envisioning that stupid imaginary villa for what feels like half an hour, and only now finally got something to happen.

That something, was the eyeball I was holding deflating like a shitty balloon, and not much else.

So, I picked up another eye, this one with stripes for some reason.

About another 20 minutes later, the eyeball popped and covered my hand and pants in eyeball-goo-stuff.

I threw up. Not a good experience. Would not recommend.

“Once more.” I said, ready to try again.

This time I opened my eyes and immediately threw the eye across the room.

“NO FUCK SHIT STOP DIE…” I shouted profanities at the thing and stomped on it until it was paste.

What was the problem?

It blinked.

“I will never be able to unsee that.” I said, dejected.

I sighed. “Once more.”

This was going to take a while…

"Once more…"

When I opened my eyes, the eyeball was deflated again. This time it was one of those compound eye-things. Probably from some large insectoid creature. That wasn’t so much a big deal though, I’ve failed so many times at this point I was almost numb to it.

‘Definitely. Not frustrated at all. Shut up.’ I thought, looking at the book which had smugly not offered a single piece of extra advice.

No, the real problem was when I opened my eyes I saw that the window had light gleaming into it. It was morning. I forgot to sleep again. Ugh.

----------------------------------------

“Ugh” I said, eloquently, mostly to my potatoes.

“Sorry, how does that answer my question?” Casey asked, a little annoyed I hadn’t been paying attention.

We had decided to get lunch together after she found me wandering aimlessly lost in my own thoughts.

“Sorry,” I replied, “I just didn’t sleep last night at all… again…”

“Ouch. That makes twice in three days, doesn’t it? Are your nerves really that bad?”

“It’s not nerves.” I say, trying to defend myself.

“I find that hard to believe, even I’m feeling the nervous tension around here.”

“It’s just… sometimes I get into these moods, where I fixate on something, be it a new book or experiment, and can’t stop myself from engaging with it until I realize it’s too late.”

I admit I was venting a little, and Casey was clearly becoming a little uncomfortable, so I decided to leave it there.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Sorry, I’m just tired. And cranky I suppose.”

“No it’s okay;” she started. “what got you so engaged this time anyways?”

“Just some divination work. It’s my own personal project.” I hedge.

“You know, there’s a divination expert here on campus who might be of some help there.” She said. “What was her name again?”

Before I could respond, we both heard a loud snapping sound from the other side of the dining hall.

A table had been broken in half by, well, an idiot by my measure.

Somebody was carrying a box, probably a package, and set it on the table. The package was clearly heavier than it looked as it went straight through the old wood and crashed into the floor.

Casey immediately got up and ran over to try to sort out the issue, much cursing ensued with the belligerent idiot who insisted it wasn’t their fault. I decided to conveniently escape the situation before it got worse.

Honestly I already had a headache, and the campus noise was certainly not helping.

I sometimes wish I could just shut everything out, but it’s difficult to make something to suppress noise when you can hear as well as I could.

I still didn’t understand where things went wrong. I was doing what the stupid book said I should, with the villa, the eyes, the whole stupid thing.

I kept walking, trying to find a quieter place to think. Eventually I found myself in the academic wing of the main building.

Still, what could I had possibly done different. Were the kind of eyes more important? I hadn’t figured out any pattern to what happens to them when it fails, and it failed every time. I just… couldn’t get it right.

“‘you’re a natural’ My ass.” I said, dejected.

“You are a natural, Miss Ovalia. Just not the kind you are thinking of.”

“Shit!” I promptly fell flat on my ass in surprise.

“Um… hi?”

“Hello!” She said in a sing-song voice with a massive grin. She even gave me a small wave.

“You’re the professor from before. Miss de Laf…”

“Oh just call me Lena, Miss Ovalia. We’re friends after all.” She interrupted me.

“Now, come in come in. There is much to discuss.” She started. “Well I say discuss, more vaguely hint at, but don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it. Oh double-entendre, what fun!”

“How is that double…”

“Yes, yes, ask your questions but let us ask those questions inside of the office with nice comfy chairs yes?” She smiled as she walked away from me into what was presumably her office.

----------------------------------------

“So, divine detection. That’s certainly a topic I can help you with as I am sure you have surmised. How I’ll help you with it, however, may be not quite what you expected.”

“Ah, yes that’s why I’m here. Are you…”

“A seer? I wonder. Maybe I’m just really good at guessing!”

“Well, you really act like you are. So I just thought…”

“No, I’m not.” she says.

“…” I give her a dumb look. ‘Is she fucking with me??’

“I’m not even good at guessing either! Never was. I’ve always had to have things explained to me directly.” she giggles. She leans in conspiratorially and whispers, “My wife thinks I’m simple.”

She sat back straight, “but of course, that doesn’t explain why I know things that you think I shouldn’t does it?”

“………No. It does not. Are you going to explain?”

“Nope! You’d think you’d’ve figured that out by now.”

“Of course not. Why am I here again? I have half a mind to just leave right now.” I was getting more than a little annoyed at this woman.

“Oh, you are always in a rush aren’t you.” She mumbles under her breath. “And I was having so much fun fucking with you too.” She says much louder, sighing dramatically.

I get up to leave, finally done with this farce, but she says one more thing.

“Why were you in the room, Triss? Why that room, and why the villa?”

I stare back at her, but she just smirks at me.

“I don’t know, I don’t remember. I’m not even sure if it’s supposed to be the family villa I’m thinking of, we have more than one.”

“You know that’s wrong, and you know why. Read it again.”

‘Read it?’ I thought. ‘Oh.’

I grab the book from my belt and open it to the current page.

----------------------------------------

> You’re alone, sitting by the hearth in your family villa. You can hear people talking about you in the hall outside. They are looking for you, but they won’t find you. You can feel their eyes. Eyes looking for you, prepared to take you away. But their eyes betray them. They tell you their secrets, whether their owners want them to or not. You see a bull-faced man enter the room, but he does not see you. You’ve hidden yourself from his sight. He scans the room, searching for you, but his eyes miss you. Not because they wouldn’t see you if they could, but you can see the edges of their understanding, and can dodge them. You leave the room, knowing what you need to do, and how to do it.

----------------------------------------

“Why are they looking for you, Triss?”

“I… I don’t know…” “Yes you do.”

‘Yeah, I did. This passage is about my ninth birthday.’

“Miss…” She gives me a look, “…Lena… how can this passage be about me?” I asked.

“How indeed! Now, that’s enough, you’ve got work to do and I’ve got to call home with the news.”

“News? Who are you calling?”

“Yes! News! And I said home, who else would I be calling. Now out with you.” When she finished her sentence, suddenly I was no longer facing her, I was outside her office facing away from the door.

I look down at the book, and to my surprise it has updated with a single new sentence.

----------------------------------------

> Isn’t she just the worst?

----------------------------------------

Yeah. Yeah she is.

But… not unhelpful…

I guess I have an idea of what to do now…

If this doesn’t work I’m putting in a formal complaint.

Previous Chapter
Next Chapter