Cardinal Sin II: The Father and the Hawk
The Thirteenth Day of the Second Moon, 873 AD.
Athio, Aegan Hills, Western Dathan.
By the Child-King, his head hurt. Sin woke, bleary eyed and tired, as sunlight streamed into his quarters. There was a plate of food upon a small bedside table next to him, as well as a cup of heavily watered wine. It took him a moment or two to get his bearings, but once his eyes could stay open for more than a few seconds at a time he suddenly realised he was not alone in his chambers. Before him was a middle-aged man, bony fingers flitting through the piles of documents and reports on Sin's desk and eyes not once leaving whatever work he was doing at the moment. Sin sighed. Of course he was here, who else would have the courage to walk into his room uninvited if not Hawk, his most trusted servant.
"Saints, what time is it?"
The older man raised an eyebrow, still not looking up from the paper.
"Good morning to you as well, Father."
"Hawk, you are two decades older than me. Please do not call me Father."
The man snorted. They'd had this back-and-forwards for years now, ever since Hawk had become his batman. It was almost a morning ritual for the two of them, their argument over which honourific to use for Sin.
"As you wish, Cardinal. We are currently in the eleventh hour of the day."
Sin shot up at that, not feeling able to spare a second to make the quip he would have liked to make about how Hawk would go back to using 'Father' before the day was out, as the feeling that he'd been out of it for too long sank in.
"By the thousand and One, you should have had me up hours ago! Right, what have I missed, anything important? Have we been compromised in any way?"
Hawk looked up at him incredulously.
"Do you honestly think that I'd be sat here performing administrative duties if we'd been found out? No. You needed the rest. We've been doing this for quite some time now Sin, and you need to rest every now and again. Otherwise you'll slip up, and if that happens we're fucked."
Sin took a deep breath, steadying his nerves. The man was right. Sin's paranoia was almost entirely unfounded as of right now. Hawk was dependable and experienced; if anyone knew the correct thing to do if something were to happen... Sin's mind trailed off as he caught a whiff of the food on the plate next to him. He snagged a few choice pieces of ham and a few granary rolls. Some blue cheese and a pickled onion had been placed on the plate, and if they tasted half as good as they smelt then he was very much looking forwards to scarfing it all down.
"Any wetwork to take care of today?"
Hawk shook his head.
"Last night's batch seems to have gotten out smoothly, no wetwork required. A few guards have been apparently spooked by your appearance last night, but I take it there was nothing to worry about there?"
Sin shook his head, halfway through a mouthful of ham. He swallowed and washed it down with some of the wine before talking.
"Nah, just a kid who didn't realise who I was and an older guard who looked close to shitting himself. I think we should be fine."
Hawk nodded once, returning to the paperwork that Sin really should have been doing himself.
"I'll make sure an eye is kept on the barracks that the two of them are stationed in. I don't expect either of them to have realised anything, but better to be safe than sorry. We can't abide rumours spreading at the moment."
Saints, it's got to come to an end soon. We can't keep going like this forever.
"Sin? Cardinal?"
"Hm?"
He cursed himself. He must have gotten lost in thought again.
"I asked if you're up for a game of Deicide later, to calm yourself."
He shook his head.
"No thank you, Hawk. There's too much to do at the moment. Have we had any word back from the last cells in Thermanthus?"
Hawk pulled a grim face, and Sin almost on instinct prepared himself for the bad news.
"A report came in last night. One of them tried to get out through the sewers. They didn't make it. Four worshippers of Hydran were drowned in holy water in a public square, two were laid low by spears as they ran, and two more were... well, according to our agents that found the bodies, one's brains had been dashed against the cobbles, whilst the other had been savagely torn to shreds. A foul way to die."
Sin shook his head, sighing heavily. Hawk looked up again, smiling sadly.
"I'm sorry, Sin, but I don't think we can save anyone outside of your own domain. There's too many unknown factors."
Sin shrugged as a wave of apathy and tiredness washed over him.
"There never was much hope of getting any of them out. I... I had wished to get a few of them out of Admeta's reach, but that doesn't matter anymore. You're right. We need to focus our efforts on Athio. Heh, honestly though, those guards looked more than a little intimidated by me. I guess I've really perfected this role, haven't I?"
Hawk chuckled mirthfully.
"Small wonder. Those early years you spent travelling with troubadours and mummers certainly have come in handy these last few years."
Sin smiled. Acting. He'd always had a little flair for the dramatic, and as Hawk had said, a childhood spent with singers and actors had only enhanced those abilities. It'd gotten him out of more than one spot of bother when he was taken in by Cardinal Adikos, that was for sure. It did feel a little weird, knowing that out of all of the Cardinals serving Adikos, Sin was both the most trusted and the only one who hadn't been groomed for a life in the church since birth. He was just some street rat who couldn't even write his own three letter name back when he was a kid, and now look at him; the most trusted vassal of a monstrously evil man, trying to balance suspicion and morality to save as many lives as possible. Saints, what a life he'd led until now. And to think, he'd only seen twenty-seven namedays.
"They certainly have. Though this time I'm not playing for fun, or to steal a coin-purse. This time we're playing for keeps."
"I know. Distancing yourself from Spyridon and Admeta was difficult, but-"
"But it had to be done. We grew up together after I was taken in by the church, and were taught in the same classroom under Adikos for a decade and a half. If anyone could see through my act, it'd be them. Keeping close was just too risky."
He huffed out a sad laugh, but quickly suppressed any rising melancholic feelings. Those days were behind him now. He hadn't seen either of his classmates since the civil war, since he was sent to the frontlines and then to Athio. With the things they'd all done in that time, he doubted they'd be able to meet each other's eyes anymore. Admeta could lie and say her burnings were all for the greater good, Spyridon could pretend that he didn't hate what he was doing, and Sin could deceive the world into thinking he was the golden boy of Adikos, the prodigy of the Archcardinal, but there was no hiding from each other. That was something he knew he'd have to reckon with soon.
"When does Adikos want us in the capital for the first meeting of the high council?"
"You'll be setting out in a little under a month. It won't take you more than a few days to reach Aegos, so you shouldn't need to worry about being late. You're likely to meet with Spyridon on the road, if he takes the southern route to Aegos anyway."
"I can't see him taking the northern route through Thermanthus. Not with how Admeta's been acting these last few years."
Hawk sighed.
"With all due respect, Cardinal, the act you've been playing means that he likely sees you in much the same light as he sees her. I can't see him being enthusiastic to meet with either of you."
Sin closed his eyes for a while, basking in the sunlight as he sipped from the glass of heavily watered wine.
"I still feel like it would be easy to rope him into this scheme. I mean, with two fifths of the country under our combined banners, we could even stand a good chance of succeeding in rebellion."
"But if he refuses that offer?"
Sin remained silent for a few seconds, doing his best to expel all notion of childhood nostalgia from his voice. Spyridon had been a good friend once, but Sin was a Cardinal now. Cardinal Sin did not allow emotion to weigh into his decision making. Cardinal Sin thought in pragmatics and absolutes. He needed to remember that.
"Then I'll kill him on the road. It shouldn't be too difficult; he never was much of a fighter."
Of course he didn't want to kill Spyridon, but if needs be then he would. He wouldn't let anyone come between his people and safety. Not while he still drew breath.
"Let me read that report. The one from Thermanthus. I want to know exactly what happened."
Hawk nodded, almost dismissively, and handed the parchment over. The handwriting was calligraphic but utilitarian, lacking unnecessary flourishes or curves. Good. There was no sense trying to spray perfume a pile of shit; if the news was going to be dire, he'd rather it not be masked by pretty embellishments.
Nonetheless, he could not help but scowl as he read the latest report from Thermanthus. Another batch of would-be escapees killed. To hear it in the clinical tone of Hawk was one thing, but reading it was something else. He closed his eyes and muttered a small prayer for them. The Saints and the Angels would recognise their own, and the lot of them would find solace and rest in the heavens soon enough. At the very least, for them the nightmare was over. The rest of them left down here would need to continue their work to survive in this hellscape of their own creation. By the Boy-King, he wished he'd tried to talk Adikos out of this when he'd had the chance. How could he not have seen what was going on? Was he so utterly blind to the world around him, so blind in his devotion to the man he had called Father, that he truly had not been able to tell where their decisions were heading? When was it that he had realised what they were doing was wrong? When he received his orders to liquidate the non-conformists in Athio? When he had watched the survivors of the Imperator's forces being tossed screaming onto pyres at the end of the civil war? Or had it been far sooner? Had it been when he'd watched a crowd tear apart an apothecary for 'witchcraft'? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it was when that guard had beaten that little boy within an inch of his life for the 'sin' of gluttony after he'd asked for a second helping of gruel. I was in his place once. He could take some solace in the flogging he'd ordered that guard to receive by his own logic. Wroth was just as much a sin as gluttony, after all.
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He sat up, startled, wondering where exactly his thoughts had ran away to. There was little to be gained by his speculating on the happenings of yesteryear at this moment. He stood up, stretching his arms and legs, and moved to ready himself for the day.
"There's a pail and washcloth in the antechamber. Soap as well."
Sin nodded at Hawk, and prepared his clothes for when he was finished washing; he hated nothing more than having to stand there stark and pull clothes from out of a wardrobe when he was bloody freezing.
"You're absolutely sure there's nothing urgent that I need to look at right now? You're certain?"
Hawk huffed, seeming a little annoyed at his paranoia and constant checking.
"Cardinal, I swear to the thousand and the One, if you ask me that one more time without realising that I will fucking tell you when there's something important for you to look at, then I will not be held accountable for what I do."
Sin snorted as he walked out of the room and into the adjoining antechamber.
"All right, all right. Saints, you're no fun sometimes."
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"Feeling a little better now?"
Sin nodded.
"Indeed. Hey, do you think my proposals stand much chance of being considered at the council?"
Hawk's shoulders dropped a little as he let out a heavy breath.
"It's a long shot. Even if they do accept your proposals outright, with no pushback, it still isn't a comfortable situation."
Sin gave a wry smile.
"Trust me, I'm more than aware. I loved how diverse and interesting the cities around Aegos used to be, but now it's just... there's just monotony. Monotony and fear. Advocating for the non-conformists to be sent to settlements on the Isles of Aercad isn't exactly what I want to be doing, and raises moral issues all on its own, but it's surely better than a state-mandated purge."
Hawk nodded slowly, rubbing his face with a hand.
"I know. I do agree with you, but this does still feel wrong. Like we're somehow legitimising what's been happening by proposing this in an official channel."
"We're already ferrying them out to the isles, we just wouldn't need to hide it anymore. Besides, it's not like the Adikos will just accept a complete end to the persecutions. I just hope... I just want to at least minimise the damage we're doing, to stop us from hitting a point of no return before this rotten theocracy starts trying to expand its borders. Did I ever tell you of Adikos' design? Of his delusions?"
Hawk nodded, not that it mattered. Sin knew he'd told the man a dozen times already, but that didn't mean he was going to stop telling him anytime soon.
"He first told us about it when we were just kids in his classroom. Me, Admeta, and Spyridon. At the time we didn't really understand what he was talking about, given how he kept trailing off. It was supposed to just be a lecture on the rise and fall of the Kingdom of Terranea, you know, the one that stretched across southern Kliskorios and acted as rivals to the Klironomeans for centuries. He kept trailing off, rambling on tangents and saying... saying that it was no wonder they fell. That their kings were of mortal ken and mortal sin, but if Terranea were reforged under a holier mantle, it would last forever. I never noticed it at the time, but I wish I had looking back now. The barely hidden madness in his eyes, the fervour with which he imagined his new empire... Saints, I can't believe I never realised it when I was a child. I should have seen it. Why didn't I see it?"
Hawk laid a hand on his shoulder, breaking him from his rapidly cascading thoughts.
"As you said, you were a child. You can't have known the madness he held in his heart, the hatred for those he should have shepherded despite all his claims of piety. You could never have known."
Sin nodded, not at all believing what Hawk had said but not wanting to carry on this topic of conversation any further. He hated how he hadn't wanted to open his eyes to the truth back then, how blind he was to the fact that he'd been manipulated and groomed to act as the Cardinal's attack dog, his unquestioningly loyal puppet that would dance for his master's amusement as his strings were pulled.
Sometimes it felt as though he'd never left that troupe of entertainers.
"It doesn't matter anymore, Cardinal. You've seen Father Adikos for what he is now. You've learned, and you're doing the right thing. That's what's important. That's what you'll be remembered for."
Sin allowed himself a small smile. He still didn't believe his manservant's words, and doubted that he ever would, but it was still a reassuring thing to hear.
"I hope so, Hawk. I hope so. Have we had any word from our contacts in the west?"
Hawk shook his head, smiling grimly.
"Nothing. It's been four months since we had any word from our 'friends' on the Tildan peninsula. They've sensed which way the wind is blowing, and they've jumped ship while they have the chance. No help will come from the church in the west. We're running out of allies, Cardinal. We'll just have ourselves and our contacts in Kannagrios soon, and... well, it isn't my place to say, but... well..."
Hawk looked down, the man remaining silent for a little while as he seemed to search for the right words to describe his misgivings. Sin urged him on, not wanting his most trusted servant to hold back any remarks he may think of as pertinent.
"No, please, go on. If there's anyone who's concerns I want to hear, it's yours. Do you suspect treason from the northern confederation?"
Hawk shook his head.
"It isn't that, Cardinal. The Confederation of Falcons is as dependable as any Dathanian state, and as honourable as the Klironomeans from which they descend. What concerns me is that they will take far too long to act. The window of opportunity will come and go, and in that time they will hardly have managed to get halfway through a debate on whether or not they should hold a debate to ride to our aid. Even if they did appoint a pair of Consuls to lead them and mustered an army by the dawn overmorrow, they'd have to either march straight through the lands of Imperator Thrax and risk his wrath, or march the long way around and spend months navigating the dozens of city-states to the east. If we mustered our own forces we'd be cut down, or else would need to hole up in this city and shore up our defences, hoping that the knightly phalanxes of the northern confederation will prevail over whomsoever makes camp beyond our walls. It matters not how well we fight or how long we hold, not if they cannot even agree whether or not to aid us."
Sin nodded glumly. He'd suspected something like this might happen. It seemed that the downfall of the theocracy he was a part of would be delayed somewhat by this news.
"Then it is imperative I get Cardinal Spyridon on side. We'd have four out of every ten soldiers in the kingdom on our side, and I'm still one of the greatest battle commanders alive in the Aegan Hills. We can make it work."
Hawk shook his head.
"No, you can't. If you could get Spyridon on side, and hire a company of sellswords, and somehow manage to gather your forces without alerting the rest of the Most Devout Church that you were planning to revolt, then you might stand a chance. As it stands otherwise? No. Spyridon's men will take too long to reach Athio, and there aren't enough of them to make a difference on their own. There aren't any real sellsword companies either; Adikos' ordinance against civilians owning weapons has meant that any seeking a mercenaries' life have long since gone abroad."
Sin shook his head, looking out of the window and over the city below. It wasn't exactly bustling anymore; merchants didn't shout and holler over one another, and there was never a commotion born of a felony to disturb the peace, but the city was still at least alive. It hurt him a little that he was so close to a scene of normalcy whilst knowing that he could never be a part of it. Not even because if he was seen then the people would realise he was no different than they were, and might put two and two together about the discrepancies of his double life, but because they all genuinely believed that he was the monster he pretended to be. There was no chance of anyone stopping in the street to talk with him, to ask him to give directions or help them in an hour of need. There would never again be a vagabond he might deliver alms and food to, nor a congregation that would view him with comfort in their hearts and warmth in their souls. He was a creature of night and butchery now, and it was perhaps less solace than it should have been to him that he was not really a monstrous being. At least then he might have the strength and courage to stand up to the oppressors without fear of failure.
"Cardinal? You're spiralling again."
Sin snapped back into the room at the sound of Hawk's voice. On instinct he dug his nails into the wooden table, the pinch of pain serving to ground him as he willed himself to keep his breath steady and his mind in the present.
"So I am, Hawk."
His words were shaky and broken apart, pauses stretching out a moment too long between syllables as Hawk gave him a pitying look. If it were anyone else Sin would have been enraged, for he hated the feeling of being pitied, but this was Hawk. Hawk was dependable, and always honest to him. Hawk would not play down bad news and cruel happenings to make things more palatable to anyone, and certainly not Sin. He alone knew what Sin had gone through, and he alone was privy to his darkest moments.
"Are you certain you do not wish for a game of Deicide to clear your mind?"
Sin shook his head, probably a little too vigorously, for he felt more than a little light headed afterwards. Hawk gave him a small smile, understanding on his face as he reached for the game board.
"A pity, for I believed we'd made a sufficient dent in the days work to warrant taking a break, and was very much looking forwards to matching wits with you. Are you certain you do not want to play a game?"
Sin looked away, flushing a little whilst feeling intensely glad for Hawk's presence for what must have been the millionth time these last few years. The man knew what Sin needed, what would calm him down, and was kind enough to pretend the reason he wished to play was to satiate his own wants and not to give Sin something stimulating to focus on, as that might damage his precious ego.
"If you want to then I guess I don't mind playing. But only one match. Maybe two. We still need to get the rest of this work finished."
Hawk shook his head, pushing a stack of papers to the side of the table with a chuckle.
"As you say, Cardinal. Black or white?"
"White, so please you. I prefer acting to reacting, in both senses of the word."
Hawk eyed him a little sadly. Their own little code revolving around who played the first move of an innocent board game remained intact, even when it hadn't been used in so long. White. White always made the first move. White was the first to go. Sin hadn't played white in a long time, but he'd was under so much stress recently. He didn't know if he'd be able to outlast the theocracy at the moment, was almost certain he'd die before he had a chance to see it fall. He was going to be the first to go, hence, white.
Hawk nodded.
"I'll play black, in that case. After you, Cardinal."
The two of them played back and forwards for a while, losing themselves in the minutiae of a game they could both genuinely relax whilst playing. After a while Hawk broke the silence, eyes flicking up to Sin as a horseman took one of the levies.
"Have you been having any nightmares recently, Cardinal?"
Sin stilled at the question, eyes flicking up to meet Hawk's own for less than a second before falling back down to the table. He said nothing, but Hawk read him as easy as one might read a book. The man hummed out a response before he spoke.
"Hmm, I suspected as much. Is it anything you'd like to talk about?"
Sin shook his head, shrugging.
"I can't really remember most of it anyway. Just blurred, broad strokes. It's the same one night after night, but I never remember it until I wake up. It's almost like someone's trying to warn me of something, fanciful as that sounds."
Hawk nodded once.
"And what do you remember, if you do not mind my asking?
Sin thought hard, wracking his brain for any solid memories of the nightmares.
"There's a grand hall, and a semicircle of figures upon thrones above me. I think they're passing judgement on me. Then there's a knight of some sort, a huge armoured figure with a mace. I try to run when the judges on their thrones begin laughing, but the knight always gets me before I can escape. He swings the mace at me, I raise my arms to brace, and then I wake up in bed. There's plenty more than that, but I can't remember the rest."
Hawk grimaced.
"I understand that you are stressed, my Cardinal. If you will only allow yourself a day or two to rest, I can almost guarantee that most of these nightmares will cease. It is at least worth trying, just so you might become a little more rested even if the nightmares remain."
Sin chuckled, shaking his head.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Hawk. Let me focus on the game for now, and the work later. I'll rest after the council."
Hawk gave him a look that was not quite a glare, but certainly a warning.
"See that you do, Cardinal. See that you do, else I'll be displeased with you. Now come on, as you said, we've a game to play."
Sin smiled. His life was tough at the moment, but at least he could rely on one person to help him through it. It was a comforting thought, if nothing else; Hawk would be there with advice or a willing ear to listen or even just a game of deicide. It was the closest thing he'd known to the feeling of home in a long, long time.