Lil continues reading my mental logs aloud to the two of us, their textbox obtaining a rich tone as it conveys their speech,
Logstart
“Actually, I have no idea how to tell if these numbers would suffice on a long journey, I don’t even know what they do, they may just track the frequency that I use things and nothing more. I do feel fairly weak, so I should probably exercise my body more, instead of relying entirely on inventory expulsion for survival. The script is so hard to read, that I’m just visualizing that the words are what I think they are based on context. The one that’s struck out has me concerned, since I think it has to do with knowledge or memories. Duende sort of means attractiveness, right? Also, I guess that duende score sort of negates my theory about the numbers tracking frequency of use. Unless I’ve just been being that cute while dinking around fishing for a few days. Am I cute?
I look in the water to see my reflection, shaggy unkempt red hair, the faintest hint of several freckles smattering my upper cheeks, a bit of pudge and roundness to my cheeks, cherubic I’d call it. I feel like that red is an unnatural hair color honestly, it’s far more, uh, crimson than I think normally exists. I feel like I look like some kind of cross between a goblin, a human child, and a pixie. Especially in this leaf-leather clothing.
I get distracted and I begin to wonder if I could produce textiles in my mental inventory thing. I think that might require knowing how they’re made to begin with. Something about fibers? And weaving? Maybe I’ll spend more time thinking about it later. Realizing I’ve been staring down at my reflection while thinking about clothing, I feel a pang of loneliness, and see tears welling up in my eyes. I just want to hug that sad reflection and have it hug me back. My entire world consists of me, fish, a cliff, and some flying dinosaurs. There's no one else in existence as far as I know, and that thought is haunting.
Well, even if that thought proves to be true, I guess as long as I set goals for myself, and pursue them, then, well then I guess that just has to be good enough, doesn’t it? Besides, I’ve got a goal now, to ascend these cliffs! Maybe there’s a trail, or cave system that leads upwards. I’ll work on myself physically for several days, while simultaneously psyching myself up to brave the journey.
Hours bleed by into days, and I feel an ever-so-slight firmness arising in my muscles, and certain numerical skills progress. I still can’t ascertain if I’m actually becoming more formidable. I doubt I could survive fighting off one of those big leathery-winged flying things. Whatever sort of dactyl dinosaur they are. I don’t think I’d ever be able to become that powerful anyway. At least not while sitting in my idyllic clearing, fishing, eating, and exercising all day.
I think, I think I’m as prepared as I can be to journey outward from my little pond home. So I work my way towards the cliff, gazing up at the waterfall. I realize I haven’t exactly been bathing, and that bathing is something that I remember exists, or at least the concept of the word bathing, and some of its meaning anyway. The spray of the waterfall crashing down below is captivating, beautiful to me at this moment in time. It’s serene in its raw fury, somehow crystalline smooth, yet roundness and sharpness, edges and contrast, clarity and obscurity or opaqueness. I should probably be humbled by the majesty that is nature, is a thought that pokes into my mind. However, I don’t even really understand what that would entail.
I don’t want to head east across the river to follow the cliffs that way, because of its proximity to where I was first attacked, even though I survived, I feel a bit of fear grip my heart. I can tell my breathing gets ragged and my pulse pounds in my ears as the memory tears its way through my mind of that first day. What if the second attack wasn’t the same creature, what if there’s two, or more? What if one catches me by surprise? Spherical maws, I’m reminded of that nightmare during my first sleep, and I replay it in my head. The replay is in crystal clarity, similarly to the waterfall, opaque yet clear, all fury and violence, yet frozen serenity in my inability to escape my own thoughts. I snap back to my senses, realizing I’ve been hyperventilating, leaning into the cliff face for some time.
I might just have some trauma about Day One. Gee, ya think? Whatever gave you that idea? Hey, me, quit with the snark. It’s pretty serious. You wouldn’t tease someone else with a trauma-induced condition. I know, I know. Wait, am I arguing with myself? Sort of, yep. Ah, great. Yeah, totally and perfectly sane, no trauma here, nope, none at all. Heh.
I try to push the thoughts out of my mind, and continue on with my plan, but, well, as I now know, the harder you try not to think of something, the more likely you are to think of exactly that thing. I must have crumpled to my knees, fallen to my side, and gone fetal at some point during my unwelcome reverie. I know this because I snap back to my senses once more, with banged knees, in the fetal position, clutching my legs to my chest, with my face wet, and flush.
I’d better not even think about thinking about Day One for a while, until I can handle that. Even just giving myself this plan of avoidance causes my pulse to race, pounding into my ears yet again, but I focus on my breathing, and try to slowly take deep breaths, eventually my face cools slightly. My ears stop hearing pounding, though now there’s a high pitched ringing sort of sound in them. In fact, I don’t think that sound is going away at all. I think it’s called tinnitus.
Trying to distract myself from the obnoxious endless ‘eeeeee’ sound, or maybe ‘iiiiiinnnnnn’ sound, in my ears, I wend my way westward while walking cautiously, careful to not get lost in reverie once more. After some time, I come across a cavern entrance in the cliffside.”
Logstop
Lil checks in with me again, and I confirm that yeah, trying to not think about something is an almost guaranteed way to end up thinking about it. Lil laughs, but then covers up their mouth with their tail, looking extremely ashamed, before they apologize. I give them a hug and smooch their forehead, flashing half a smile and nodding for them to continue.
Logstart
“I guess it took me quite a while to reach the cliff face from the start of the day, and then I lost track of a fair amount of time with, with thoughts I don’t want to mention to myself. Then I had walked until now, and it’s basically dark out, save for that glow atop the cliffs that lightens the canopy in one direction. Actually, looking back on it, with the canopy being so thick with giant leaves, I’ve never actually seen the sun, or clouds, so for all I know, the only source of light is that glow on the clifftop, which could just diminish for a while every day. Then again, why do I have concepts of what suns and clouds are, if I’ve never seen one? Another thing that springs to mind when thinking about darkness is how easy it is for me to see in it, and it dawns on me that that’s not supposed to be normal. The darker it is, the less details, sure, but shapes and their proximity to me, I can always make out. Is that why I’m not afraid to enter a cavern, that I have no way of knowing its depth, height, length, or any of its twists and turns? I could be walking into a labyrinthine series of tunnels from which I may never return. So why doesn’t that scare me as much as Day One…”
Logstop
Lil pauses for me to ride out yet another wave of panic, nuzzling me before continuing to read aloud my memory logs,
Logstart
“As I come to, from yet another bout of panic, I tremble for a moment. I then try to shake it off as vigorously as possible, I veritably march into the cave. I’m determined to move through it, and past things, literally and figuratively. Not deep into the cave, still within sight of the entrance, I spot a passage that wends upwards and backwards towards the cliff face. Curious, I walk back out to the entrance to look up the cliff. Sure enough, there are several plateaus which appear such that they could maybe all lead into that same tunnel structure. Entering the cave again, there’s a path forward, much deeper, and much darker. I get the same sense of dread as when I was peering over the edge of my little fishy pond. I’m going to be avoiding that route, heading upwards instead to the left. As predicted, this pass is more like a ravine path up the cliff face, barely on the inside, every so often coming to a short plateau on the external cliff face as it winds back and forth east and west, upwards. It’s almost like someone carved a spiral staircase into a ramp that spins upwards into and out of the cliff.”
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Logstop
Lil waits for me to catch my breath, but excitedly exclaims, “You’re going to find me soon, you’re going to find me soon!” I can’t help but chuckle at their excitement for something that already happened.
Lil carries on reading my log aloud,
Logstart
“At the top of the cliff, I’m flabbergasted by what greets me. A wide open volcanic plain. How can I tell it’s a volcanic plain? There’s an active volcano dripping lava in the distance, and shining molten rivulets running all across the land. I think to myself that I should probably be boiling in my own skin thanks to convection right now, and apparently have some concept of what convection is. There I stand, rivers of lava visible in the distance, and bright cracks running through the craggy land all along the plain twixt me and the volcano.
I’m fairly certain I know what the glow was, now, that shone over the cliff near the waterfall, but in case I’m wrong, I head back eastwards along the cliff’s edge to check it out anyway. I push onward through the night, and nearly stumble over a red, spherical scaly creature with a reptilian tail. The small beast is cutely snoring such that the snores actually form a massive snot bubble. I barely have time to notice this as I break down in sobs, remembering Day One, and its icy grip on my heart and mind. Luckily my quiet, fearful sobbing didn’t awaken the creature, despite its spherical similarities to the one that attacked me, on Day One.
When I finally recover, I notice this creature appears to at least be peaceful enough while slumbering, though occasionally tiny little gouts of flame pop its snot bubble.
Having had another attack of panic, I feel well and truly exhausted rather suddenly. I begin stumbling away from this little fire monster, this Little Agni, hm, Lilagni sounds cute. I pause to place some sashimis down near it, in the hopes that they don’t burn me to a crisp in my sleep, as I sneak away to find somewhere else to rest.”
Logstop
Lil pouts, their lips tremble, quiver, and quake. Lil then bursts into tears, full on, what’s the phrase? Ugly crying. “I”m so-ho-ho-ho so-hor-hor-horr-yy-yy. I didn’t mean to be scary! But, but, but at least you thought I was cute, right? I am cute, right?” I chuckle as I acquiesce, nodding. Of course I think Lil is cute.
Satisfied that we’re okay with one another still, Lil goes on reading the logs aloud,
Logstart
“My leaf blanket isn’t going to provide any camouflage up here, yet I can’t help but to pull it completely over me, as I lay on the completely flat planar surface of this volcanic plateau. I feel like this is definitely a childish gesture. Hide under the blankets, because if you can’t see them, the monsters can’t see you? Still, I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, just hoping and hoping that nothing gets curious as to what’s under the massive green leaf in the middle of the grey clifftop plateau. Eventually I realize I must have passed out into a dreamless slumber. I awaken, for the first time, to what must be an approximation of a sun peaking through beneath my shady hideaway. That lack of an actual sun bugs me. It’s still only a vague lighting from no particular object, but it does seem to at least have an area that’s brighter.
Stowing away my leafy covering, I look up in wonder at a visible sky, and I sit, cloud gazing for a while, thinking of the shapes and animals that the clouds remind me of. That one’s a puppy, there’s a big doggo, an angry kitten, deciduous trees, coniferous trees, some hearts, some stars, actually, the more I look at them, the less it feels like making up shapes I see in clouds. It feels more like the clouds actually being intentionally shaped like familiar things.
I sneak back along the cliffside towards the waterfall, to confirm my suspicions from earlier, and I don’t notice the little reptilian fiery beasty, the one I dubbed Lilagni. It must have eaten or taken the sashimis to a nest, and left for whatever reasons it had.
Regardless, I find the source of the waterfall, and it’s more baffling than this entire region combined. Lava pours all the way up to a large lake at the top of the waterfall, a river of lava just stops at its edge. New lava reaches the water, hardens, newer lava melts that lava, reaches the water, hardens, yet it doesn’t build up in layers, it doesn’t hiss and steam.
The physics-defying logic of this lava-meets-lake situation is almost too terrifying to comprehend. I carefully edge close, and hold my hand near the water. When the air above the water doesn’t immediately scald my hand, I slowly hold my hand closer, and closer, testing the temperature. Sure enough, when my hand finally meets the water’s surface, it’s cool. Beneath the surface? Just slightly warm.
As much as I think I’d probably enjoy a hot bath, the thought that whatever magical spell, or crazy logic that is holding the lava at bay might suddenly stop, while I’m bathing right next to lava, is far too terrifying to risk it. So, after having accomplished my first exploratory goal I’ve ever set, as far as I know, I now have more questions than answers. I’m not even certain I want to pursue the answers to those questions, so I make haste to head to the only place that feels safe to me, my little fishy pond. I’m really tempted to leap off the waterfall and see if I can dive without hurting myself, but then I remember the waterfall crashes into shallows at the bottom, slowing down before becoming a raging river just afterwards. I’d be dashed upon rocks and then sent careening downstream.
Regardless, as I’m swiftly returning to the cliffside external cavern route, I notice things I couldn’t see in the dark of what passes as night, obelisks standing amidst the otherwise seemingly flat, seemingly endless expanse of volcanic plain. Also, upon reaching the cavern entrances once more, I hear the sounds of large leathery wings flapping in the distance. I thank my lucky stars. I catch sight of one of those massive ptero flying dinosaur things in the distance, headed northward, from downriver. It appears to be heading to a cluster of those obelisks in the distance. I hide in the shadows of the cave entrance, confirming this for a while, before continuing on back home.
On the way home, and whilst there, I experiment with equipment, and sort of lightly curse not having grabbed any stone. I neither grabbed stone, nor tried to find a way to transport any lava from above the cliff face. How cool would that have been? To just have a ball of lava that floats around in my brainspace, that I could toss out to cook things.
On second thought, that could get pretty gruesome, eugh. Well then again, the way things die here is fairly non graphic. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Or maybe I might be able to combine the lava with my spear somehow, giving it some sort of fiery enchantment. With what little I really understand about my world, especially compared to my preconceived notions, I feel like magic and enchantment are things that could exist after all.
Given that I haven’t got anything better to do, I’m tempted to head back up the cliff face to try to find a way to safely snag some lava, since it didn’t seem to carry convection. Things in my inventory don’t seem to decay or change temperature, and I don’t have to actually touch things to take them into my inventory, well, at least after I’ve claimed them once. It seems easier to claim a thing for the first time by touching it. Or maybe even necessary to touch it for the first time. Another deterrent to heading back is the fact that there are those massive flapping creatures flying around up there.
Now that I realize I can operate at night essentially just as well as during the day, I let my body dictate when it wants to sleep. I’m basically just passing out wherever, whenever feels comfortable, in the relative safety of my little clearing near the pond. This actually helps my mood a bit, sometimes I’m up from dawn until dawn the next day, then asleep til dusk. Other times I operate from dusk until dawn, or I’m asleep at that time or vice versa. Sometimes though if I’ve been fooling around exercising really hard, I’ll flump down and pass out around noon, waking at what must be midnight.
Over the course of the days that I let my body act like this, I came to a realization. Sometimes, when I’m in the pond at certain times, I see new fishies literally pop into existence, displacing some water as they do, especially when a whole bunch pop in at once. I guess I was right, it literally is a spawning pool.”
Logstop
Lil interrupts themself, blurting out excitedly, “Oo, oo, this next part is where we meet! It’s where we meet! We met up in this next part Reggie pal!” Their exuberance is astounding, it causes me to smile so wide and laugh so hard.
Lil excitedly tries to speedily read the rest of the logs, even though we just lived it together,
Logstart
“Life is pretty simple, and without any goals in mind, if I just keep myself busy, I don’t have hyperventilating breakdowns. That is, until a little reddish reptilian-scaled lizard-tailed-sphere shows up in my clearing. I feel like all the water in my body just left me in the form of tears, and well, you can probably guess how I’m reacting. I cried in fear for only a brief moment, before the fear gripped my chest so hard that I felt like it was crushing my heart. ‘Not now, not now, please not now!’ I beg aloud, mostly to myself. I’m crying so hard as my vision is blurred. My pulse is pounding in my ears, and I stumble accidentally closer to Lilagni. Unable to catch my breath, I black out in front of the sphere, assured of my doom.
Then I hear an ellipsis. Or rather, that sound of text appearing, somehow knowing that such a trope exists. I can’t quite believe that I am still alive, and seemingly unharmed. Looking up, there’s square boxes forming above Lilagni.”
Logstop
I snort with laughter as I realize Lil is continuing to read aloud the logs that include when we first met, not so long ago. Despite my protestant laughter, Lil continues to recite my memory log verbatim,
Logstart
“The boxes from Lilagni are mostly illegible to me, but I somehow just get the sense of their meaning.
‘... … Hey? Hey are you okay? You’re really sweet, and now I’m really worried about you.’
‘Is this normal? Are you greeting me by showing vulnerability and trust?’
Logstop
I snort with laughter as Lil continues to read aloud the moments when we’d first met. Pleading through laughter, I beg, “Lil, hah, Lil please, haha, we already lived that.”