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Chapter 15 – Problem In The Woods

Having collected all of my thoughts while staring out into the crystal-clear waters of the nearby lake, I was nowhere closer to understanding the strange series of events that had recently happened to me.

My head was still throbbing with that static like noise, and the world continued tearing in places as I looked around. And just when I had thought my body was finally adjusting to this sensation, a wave of nauseousness would quickly remind me that I wasn’t in fact, adjusted. I must have some internal damage to my brain from the impact I thought, warping my perception of everything around me. I had also already expelled the contents of my stomach several times now and couldn’t bare the thought of vomiting again at this sensation.

But what was that voice I heard earlier? Mythical Healing Item? Full Body Restoration? I had more questions unanswered than answered at this point, and the list was rapidly growing. Finally deciding that I wasn’t going to accomplish anything sitting around, I decided to stand up and begin exploring my surrounds in more detail.

From my acute observations, I was able to learn the following things about my current situation:

1) I appeared to be lost in a massive, thickly filled forest that was almost jungle like.

2) There were no fish in the waters, and no insects buzzing around anywhere nearby, very odd for a forest such as this.

3) The soil was hard and didn’t have the usual “earthy smell” you would expect, instead, there was no smell at all from the samples I’d sniffed.

4) The sky was filled with clouds.

And the most concerning observation of all:

5) There were two suns in the sky.

“Two suns” I said while looking up into the giant, blinding balls of light.

I couldn’t be certain, but my gut was telling me I was in a very different place, and that wasn’t just the nausea talking.

Eventually, I worked up the courage to explore my surroundings further and venture away from my temporary base, “The Landing Pad” I had adeptly called it. While moving away from one’s location was a risky endeavour during times of search and rescue, I had no way to know if anyone would be even searching for me. After all, I lived by myself in a busy city and it wasn’t uncommon for me to go full “Radio Silence” every now and then when I got absorbed in a new game. If anything, I would have to fend for myself in this situation. In addition, my phone was nowhere nearby, and I doubted I would get a stable connection through satellite anyways. That’s even assuming the low probability it safely survived the fall from over a thousand feet!

I furrowed my brow and decided that I needed to try searching for some type of civilization or shelter soon. While the question regarding the 2 suns still remained, I figured time, being a constant and all, would eventually force them to set below the horizon, creating the usual dusk or nighttime I was so accustomed to. Further to this, lacking any type of safe lodging at night, in an unknown forest, screamed Danger! Alarm bells and all!

So, with my backpack secured, I started heading towards the direction I could see the mountain range from. I vaguely remembered seeing a castle in the general vicinity during my freefall, so I figured it was my best odds for survival.

However, I had only been walking for 10 minutes at most when I was suddenly startled by a rustling noise coming from a nearby bush. I was having a difficult time locating the sound, but eventually pinpointed the location. The only reason why I bothered searching for the sound’s origin, was because it seemed to be that of an animal in distress.

Even though I was in a dire situation myself, I still wanted to do everything I could for an animal in need. I was quite fond of their company and enjoyed spending my idle time with cats and dogs, when I wasn’t gaming of course!

As I slowly approached the brush, I could hear the whimpering sound start to fade. The creature had probably heard me approaching and was trying to hide its presence. However, I wouldn’t be fooled so easily! But then, a sudden thought crossed my mind. How did I know this would be safe?

I was in an unfamiliar forest, with very abnormal surroundings, and gladly walking towards the sounds of a potential predator without a second thought!

Ya, in hindsight, this seemed like a rather bad idea. It would have been much safer to continue heading towards the mountain range! But still, my gut was telling me there was nothing to worry about, so I wanted to trust it.

Pressing forward, I shoved some of the thick foliage aside to enter into a small clearing, and sure enough, roughly in the middle of the open grassy patch, was a puppy.

Well, puppy was the best word I could think of to describe what I saw. To my disbelief, the animal in question appeared to be something of a small canine like creature. It had pointy ears, thick dark fur, a nose with whiskers, and a tail. Classic features of canines. However, that didn’t explain it’s more unusual feature.

A horn.

For all intensive purposes, the creature I was looking at appeared to be a wolf puppy with a horn glued to it’s head! While I couldn’t imagine someone had gone around carefully stapling fake horns onto the foreheads of wolf puppies, I did find the thought rather amusing. Regardless of the authenticity of the horn like structure affixed to it’s head, the source of the creature’s anguish was easy to locate.

The wolf’s back right paw was stuck in what looked to me like a hunter’s trap. The metal teeth of the clamp like device dug deeply into it’s fur. Blood had long been stained on the pelt, leading me to conclude the poor thing had been trapped here for quite some time. Eventually it noticed my presence and quickly changed from a whining noise, to an assertive “growling” noise, as if to say “Don’t come any closer!”

But the wolf could only keep up the act for so long. After a few aggressive gruffs, it once again resumed it’s crying in a desperate attempt for help.

I slowly, but cautiously approached the creature, giving it ample time to adjust to my presence. I had learned from my previous experience in handling animals, that quickly approaching an animal in distress would only make the situation worse. It was often best to remain calm, and slowly approach them so they could get use to your scent and not get startled further. The best chance for successfully helping this puppy, was to keep it’s stress levels low while I interacted with it.

Eventually, I was within reaching distance of the horned wolf and got to work examining the metal device it was trapped in. The wolf attempted to growl at me, but eventually stopped, as if it had already resigned itself to a fate of death. The device appeared to be a simple pressure-release switch. Carefully, I started to pry the metal teeth apart to free the wolf’s injured limb. It yelped and screamed, but eventually, I was able to free the leg from it’s metal prison.

However, the animal could hardly move. There was a good chance it’s leg was broken from it’s earlier struggling with the trap. That’s when I had an idea.

Quickly, I reached into my bag and pulled out the “Mythical Healing Item”, Bandages! I carefully removed a single bandage from it’s protective sleeve, and placed it over the largest wound I could find on the leg, when suddenly…

“Ouch!”

The wolf, in my haste to give it a bandage, had bitten my hand!

“Damnit” I muffled.

I had plainly disregarded my own advice and startled the thing with my spontaneous, erratic movements. Well, I couldn’t blame it, I would be pretty startled myself if I was approached by a large, strange being with hands waving all around my face! But still, that thing had a bite to it! There were small drips of blood coming out from where the teeth had punctured my skin, along with a familiar sensation of pain.

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Then, the bandage I had applied to the wolf’s leg started to glow. My theory was correct! For whatever reason, the bandages in my backpack had somehow transformed into an incredibly potent first-aid tool! Surely I would win a prize in medicine if I presented these findings to health practitioners everywhere!

The wolf, now running around in fast, dash like circles, seemingly realized that whatever I did, was the cause of it’s new found bill of health! As if it had realized the errors of it’s ways, the creature approached my injured hand and licked it.

How sweet I thought, I’m glad it realized that I wasn’t trying to injure it further! Now I could return on my journey to—

“Ouch! What the heck!”

The creature bit me again!! Seriously! What the heck did I do this time you furball!

Before I had a chance to react, the wolf had already cheerfully, trotted away, deep into the forest.

Shrugging my shoulders, I decided to apply another bandage to my now thrice injured hand, and was greeted with the familiar words “Full Body Restoration Activated”. With nothing else to do, I once again resumed my journey towards the mountainous range.

---

Traveling for a little while, with nothing more than my thoughts to keep me company, I started to make out some noise towards the end of my vision. It sounded like… People?

I quickened my pace in a desperate attempt to get closer to the noises. I couldn’t make out any words, or, at least, any sounds that were familiar to words. Perhaps it was another language? I wasn’t very well versed in languages from around the world, so the chances these people were speaking in a language I didn’t know were quite high. However, they appeared to be having a rather intense argument, if I could trust the aggressiveness of their tone. Perhaps I shouldn’t get involved?

No, there was much I still wasn’t aware of, and even if I couldn’t communicate with these individuals, I was confident the sight of a man in tattered clothing, making hand motions for “help me!” would be more than enough to cross the language barrier and identify I could use some assistance! As I got closer, the staticky noises grew stronger, vibrating against my very skull as if trying to escape their enclosed cavity! Then, that voice again.

[Error – Attempting Compensation For Auditory Understanding, Processing – Error – Error]

“Gahh!” my head felt like it had been split in two by an axe! I was so overcome with pain that I had lost my footing and fell, crashing onto the forest floor. From my new vantage point, I was able to see the source of the commotion. Struggling, yet finding the strength to pull myself up. I was met with a scene so gruesome; it was as if it came straight out of a 1970’s horror film.

“God, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!” I said under my breath.

Looking ahead into the clearing, was a mound of corpses. Bodies lay strewn around, many missing limbs, with organs and blood littering the grass as if a box of confetti had exploded in the vicinity! My nose was quickly assaulted by the smell of fresh blood, with it’s iron like odor. Furthermore, I could only imagine the other, noxious scent permeating my nostrils, was the smell of freshly burnt flesh. A few of the corpses appeared to have been burned beyond all recognition, with bits of ash and fire still flickering nearby.

Up ahead, there were two men screaming and pointing weapons towards what looked like an animal. I couldn’t make out what it was clearly from here, but it appeared to be sitting on the ground, almost how a human would if you fell off a chair or stool. Their back was towards a nearby cliff face.

“Ok Ko, deep breaths” I tried to calm myself down.

“Aghh”

[Error – Error]

My head erupted again in pain when I tried to listen to what the men were saying. Averting my gaze in an effort to bring relief to the disabling headache, my brain finally began analysing and making connections regarding the body parts lain about. The limbs were various shades of a greenish grey I was all too familiar with from my RPG gaming experiences.

“Are those… Goblins? No, they couldn’t be! Those creatures only exist in fantasy novels and RPGs, not Earth!”

But no matter how I tried to rationalize it, the scattered limbs, tattered clothing, and demon shaped heads all pointed to one conclusion. These were goblins, and they were very, very dead.

However, that wasn’t the most gut retching realization I had made about this situation. Nearby the screaming men, was the lifeless body of another human. His head damaged beyond all recognition, crushed with bits of brain matter littering the nearby soil. Not too much further away, near the cliff’s face, was the body of another man. He appeared to be wearing a heavy, thick plate body, which was crushed inwards from all sides. The head was cleanly removed from the lifeless torso, where it lay nearby it’s previous home. Pain and anguish were frozen in a twisted expression on it’s face.

Finally, while squinting into the distance, I could make out what appeared to be a third humanoid corpse, but while the others were on the forest floor, this one was pinned to a tree! I couldn’t quite tell what was holding it in place, but the individual was without a doubt, dead.

“Ommph” I tried to manage the pain from my headache. I also was feeling incredibly nauseous again, but this was probably the result from the scenery before me. Then suddenly.

[Error – Error]

“Aghhh”

This time, accompanying my splitting headache, was a sharp, stabbing sensation and warm feeling on my left thigh. Before I could fully realize what was truly happening, I was yanked by the hair on my head and pulled up to meet the eyes of my assailant.

It was a man that looked to be in his thirties, he was thin with rough facial hair and deep, heavy bags under his eyes. His right eye adorned with a massive scar across his cheek.

“Whawkjh aelrkjahs youasa? Whasdlla Dishdaihsd Youdsadf Seeasuihsa”

[Error – Error – Attempting Resolution, Compensating]

Not only could I fail to understand what this man was saying, I couldn’t even focus right with this stupid, obnoxious voice ringing inside my head! What do you mean Error!?!?!? Why the hell do I keep hearing these words! Why can’t anyone explain anything to me!!!

Not thrilled with my response, or lack thereof, the man raised his blade towards my neck. Most of the metal surface was coated in blood, which was probably mine from recently stabbing my leg. That’s when I noticed I was slowly starting to lose feeling in my freshly, punctured limb.

Shit! Was that thing poisoned?!?!?

It all made sense now. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it.

What was happening right now before me, and the present situation I found myself in, was a typical scenario in many RPGs and Anime shows alike.

Bandits.

The well-known scum of the earth, heathens in all lands, and the bane of many a merchants trying to make an honest living. Bandits were the source of all these problems, and were most commonly known for their acts of killing, pillaging, kidnapping, and raping their victims until any hope they held onto for rescue, vanished into the air.

Annoyed I wasn’t responding quickly enough to him, he started pressing the blade into my flesh. It slowly pierced my skin and I was greeted with a warm, burning feeling as skin met metal, with blood happily dripping down my neck. I tried my best to make audible words. But the man would have no way of knowing I couldn’t understand him if there was a language barrier, and with tensions already high, I didn’t know what I could do.

*Cough* “Stop, it hurts, please!”

“Stpoihas Mublasndlkkingasd!”

I felt a sharp pain to my navel. The man, obviously unsatisfied with my response, kicked me hard in my stomach.

[Error – Error – Error, Processing, Processing, Calculating]

“speoaasdoih!”

[Error – Error – Error]

*thud*

“Speasldhkja dmaniuai!”

[Error – Error – Error]

“I can’t *cough* speak! Sto--”

*thud*

[Solution!]

[Applying Resolution, Modifying Parameters For World Assimilation – Implementing]

Just make it stop already! My heads going to explode at this rate! Actually, I won’t even have a head much longer if things keep going like this!!!

“Aghhh” another sharp kick to the navel.

“Spoealsjdl, Isdakhas saoijd speakkk damnit! Answer me you nitwit!”

“Stop… Hitting… Me…”

“So you can talk yous shitbag”

*thud* another strike to my stomach.

“That’s for speaking in curseded tongues or whatevers, I didn’t know what the hells you was saying earlier to me. You should at least knows to listen and talk properly in these situations ya?”

The man had a rather, crude form of speech, but I was somehow able to understand him now, and conversely, him, understand me.

“So, tells me, what did yous see happens ere?”

“I” *Cough - Cough* “Didn’t see anythi-”

*thud* again with my stomach. What the hell man! At least let me answer before you do that. At this rate I’m going to be.

Before I could even finish that thought, I had once again, emptied the contents of my stomach onto the ground below. Seriously, what did this guy think was going to happen if he kept hitting me in that area?!??

“Oi, Boss, wes gots a lives one overr ere! I Thinks he saws us takes our marks out.”

The man shouted towards the other two bandits who continued harassing the scared animal.

“Huh? Wells leave em there for now, I’ll deals with em later. His clothes, don’t he look like some rich noble’s brat? He might fetch us a nice price.”

Great, so not only could I add “assault and battery” to their already, long list of charges, but kidnapping would be joining it shortly as well! But why would they think I was a noble?

And then the obvious dawned on me. All of this began when I was walking home from my job at the stock exchange. Of course, while my clothing wasn’t particularly fancy, a slightly scuffed up suit and dress pants would be more than enough to give these ruffians the idea I was some aristocracy’s son! Curses, could my luck be any worse today?!?!?

“You hears that? The boss says you gots ta wait, so waits we shal. Enjoy the show, kid!”

Seriously, what the hell! No matter how I tried to calmly assess the situation. The only conclusion I kept arriving at, was me, ending up dead. Clearly, it was going to take a miracle or some divine power to get me out of this situation.

And so all I could do was watch, as the two bandits slowly approached the cornered animal to what I could only assume, was to put it out of it’s misery.