### 11 Days (AA).
It has been more than a week since my trip back from that death trap, disguising itself as a village. Traveling is fun. It’s exciting. It’s a chance to get killed, never again.
I made some changes after having a meal that filled my stomach. I felt energized and started cleaning and rearranging everything in the cave and recalculating my stock of food, medicine, and the goods.
Furthermore, I liked the surrounding changes, my bed is softer and dry, the food is better, adding meat and veggies to my diet was a welcomed choice. Better than water bugs and rabbits.
Some firewood was added to keep me warm. The nights are becoming colder and the rain is starting to increase and intensifying with the approach of winter, I spent less time out more time amongst my books fighting boredom and plotting for the future in addition to meditating, trying to control my self and keep those seizures of pain away, just from remembering it I felt a chill, and it wasn't the cold.
Sleeping in the cave was safer and more comfortable. As I was sharpening a kukri blade on a wet stone close to the fireplace, I started reminiscing about Amarys.
He was full of wanting to become normal, I can understand his motivation.
The pain forged him, he was mentally a strong boy, taking the fear and disgust other people offloaded onto him, while he was harboring vengeance and hatred against them.
He was not only attacked by people but his own body, and he stood up against the assault until he ended up mentally and physically exhausted, and died.
I won't let History repeat, this is a second chance for me to live again, a bad one, still I won't fuck it up. I considered what would happen if I died again, would I just disappear or get another chance.
'If I came to this world, could I go back', "could I Jump in front of cart and isekai my ass back home, nah that probably won't work", I spoke out loud talking to my reflection on the kukri blade.
In this world I remember who I am, I know the mistakes I made the life I lived, starting from zero won't be good for me in any world. Especially if the next one is as dangerous as this one.
Having the advantage of experience is better than full reincarnation without memories, from the books and amarys's memory, I can see that this society's ideology is a shitty one not just because am on the wrong side of it, it's because it shows a society about to collapse.
I want none of that shit. And most importantly, I want nothing to do with the politics of this world. Why, the core of it is because of, let's call it the aura profiling.
Seriously, no shit aura profiling, sounds like a policy made up by **hippies**, the raciest vegetarian hippies.
Show any sign of bad aura, and you're fucked, humans or demi-humans makes no difference, people will avoid you like the Plague, some would kill you in the name of protecting the world from sickness, fucking hell, racism based on AURA!, WTF.
Lots of bloodline termination a complete removal from the gene pool, as well as murdering each other based on aura purity and strength or for resources. And in this story I'm the **tainted** aura everyone hates.
" People, always finding a reason to fight"
I noticed I have been talking out loud to the empty space, am I getting lonely, it's probably a dopamine withdrawal, a side effect of the low stimulus environment, not that this world isn't stimulus, the problem is the long slow boring periods of time after the unwanted stimulus, the danger of death.
### 12 Days (AA).
today was another rainy day. My cave was dry, the fire was hot, and I was reading more about this MANA.
It has been a strange time These past few days, I have added to my knowledge about this world's MANA.
I learned that the scientific method is pointless in this world, why because MANA likes to interfere in every possible way it can, any experimentation suffers from mana interference, as if mana is exploring the unnatural shift in balance, some believe it's god's stopping man from changing nature, to me, it looks like mana is looking for something this is interesting problem to think about.
**MANA reads the world!, why?.**
That brings me to my advantage over the people of this world I have the know how, the laws of the natural world in my head from the knowledge downloading or as some would call it the uploading phase I had in my teens believing the more I download, the smarter I get.
All I need to do is master the basics of MANA and find out how to take control of it, and like any cave man playing with fire to discover its secrets, play I will, I just hope I won't get burned.
To summaries what I have learned, MANA has 2 categories, wild MANA and purified MANA.
Wild MANA is the natural mana all around us, it is the mixed combination of all the types of mana, just like white light, it is the combination of multiple electromagnetic radiation waves, it is row and unprocessed energy.
Purified MANA is the MANA that is purified, and separate through the core, all living creatures can absorb mana into the body to be used in bio functions in addition to generating aura, and aura is used for interacting and controlling both wild and purified MANA, and that takes me to the control part.
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Control it is the Trinity of the mind, core and body connection, the core is like a nervous system made from mana, and it is integrated into the spine until you die, that's when it will centralize at the base of the skull like a crystal ball, aura is generated from the core and represents the area of influence the core has, for me, it's that feeling of having a second skin.
MANA what ever it's true nature is, seems to be able to affect reality, and the quantum structure of this universe allows this, and the mind takes advantage of this to interact and command and control matter using this MANA, and I have a theory that MANA is Programmable matter on Quantum level, and it's called magic, and its key is Control over aura, control that comes from the mind.
"To the powerful mind the universe submits. Now that's scary"
The more you can purify MANA using the core the better your aura is, and the more control you get over it, if the opposite occurs you get the soul sickness, impure MANA in the core making the aura impure and unstable because your aura is the MANA you feed it.
I was almost wrong about the Brain implant idea, it's not my brain that caused the seizure, it's my core.
For amarys the seizures were random, after he died, and I showed up to the party, there was change in the core I can feel it from the memories I know it's not the same, now it's the panic, I didn't find any information about emotional control most books had a user manual feel to them as if the authors feared creativity or the books had censorship.
The only useful thing I learn was the basics of advance aura control, the control was like talking with your aura making it dance, move and vibrate they even had something like music sheet for it.
I used what I learned to play with my aura, I focused my aura on the kukri blade, and it absorbed my aura easily, as i pushed mana into the blade, the electricity played on the blade's edge and surface, this is the education I needed. Discharging energy seemed to help me relax, and it was a good exercise in control.
### 13 Days (AA).
I was losing hope on the idea of a cure, until I stopped ignoring the sex magic book its title was the art of aura seduction, and learned about a trick to make your lady in the mood, the book was about aura usage in sex, it seems that people had sex differently in magical world.
The trick was about making aura vibrate in a way that effects the MANA in the body and core, if you can do it the wright way you can make someone relax it is just like a good massage therapy only it for mana flow and aura strengthening.
That sex magic book had more information and insight than all the other book, WTF. How could it be more useful than every thing in my library. After reading it I had a good idea of what I need, now how do I make my aura relax automatically I have no one to help me, and it works Best if it's done by an external force.
I searched my supplies, and found it, At first I did not know it was a choker, this thing was a sex toy choker right next to the sex magic book I found in the wagon, this thing was to be worn around the neck, and if you push your pure MANA in it, your sex partner will feel relaxed because the choker is made from mix of crystals that takes and sends MANA from you to your partner in the form that has sedative effect on the core and that makes the brain feel better, for me, it will make my core relax and less sensitive to my panic.
One problem I have no partner to help, I can't power the choker that's not relaxing that's work, and even if I did have a partner why would I be having sex in a fight for my life, the choker is not automated, that needs fixing, my eyes fell on the crafting tools and I started getting ideas and making plans.
### 19 Days (AA).
After days of examining and exploring the crafting tools and reading more about crafting, I found and fell in love of a magical fountain pen.
It was beautiful, it worked like a 3D printer pen, instead of ink, I only need to set a small coin of any material I want to use for crafting into a coin shaped hole in the middle of the pen, and by forcing pure MANA into the pen, it makes the coin melt like ink that solidifies the moment it leaves the pen, it did that with wards carved around the pen head, the wards looked written with crystal, they were just for supporting the user's aura control over MANA, the better you control it the better the result.
Crafting was like electrical engineering yet for magic and requires human intervention to run and guide the flow of mana, no automation, and that needs fixing.
The moment I started learning about wards and symbols of power, a pattern repeated itself in my mind, the feeling was like having an itch, or walking in the street and wanting to only walk on one color of pavement, I can only get rid of it if I make it.
Next to my bed I had my crafting tools, organize on the cave floor, I was in a setting position with my legs crossed and a wood plank on my lap, used as a temporary table.
Using the music MANA sheet as a guide to help me find the pattern or frequencies my aura needs to be at to control the pen.
I grabbed a small core to carve on and used a crystal coin made from processed cores in the pen and started my work on the core making the pattern in my head a reality, it was called FFT a Fast Fourier transforms used to separate signals with different frequencies.
FFT a Fast Fourier transforms used by amarys [https://preview.redd.it/zuu35wgt0o691.jpg?width=608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7c5e9238059c31a20eb85975356c3e3be01a19b]
The moment I was finished, the core started to absorb the wild mana around it and radiate the unwanted parts of it, I continued to observe it all night, it was doing it faster and better than any other core even the mana amount was 20% larger.
I looked at it amazed, magic, real magic in front of my eyes.
It was just what I needed to separate and purify those wild MANA signals to use in the cores that will power the choker.
"Strange, was it coincidence or something pushed this idea of FFT into my mind, can i make more new wards, and how?" more questions added to a long list.
I considered the possibility of recreating digital technology using mana, looking at the core gave me conformation that it can be done.
First I will make an 8-bit magic computer from beast cores, MANA, and spells as the programs to command and control my MANA flow and get me some real magic, using it not only would I be able to stop the seizures, I could have more power, skill and overcome my weakens and lack of instinctive good MANA control the people of this world have.
"A homemade computer, yeah, that is a good project". I spoke to the core and empty cave, neither responded.
I can do it, magic is all about controlled input and output like a program that requires you to push it forward, no I don't like this hand holding madness a program must run on its own as AI developer and with my knowledge and very detailed memory of 4-bit 8-bit 16-bit computers am sure I can add some real magic to this world.
Why do the work if I can just have a magical CPU do it for me, I'm in the land of unlimited possibilities, and dangers, every advantage is a must.
I settled my self into a routine.
Eat.
Work.
Learn.
Sleep.
Repeat.
The days passed.