In the hospital room
Stoicism made my life easier, less painful and more livable, and if compared to most I will say I endured, and had a good life, yet no matter how good it was, everything comes to an end.
I was in bed in the hospital room, age 86 with cancer all over my body, I considered death and wondered how it would feel like.
I had no fear I made my peace with every one in the last 7 months, all the so called family was informed, and ready for the bad news as for me, I just needed to wait for it to take me, I was strangely calm and from moment to moment I remembered the past wandered about my choices in life.
One of my best choices to living a long good life, was the choice to get the quantum link implant, education never took time from my life thanks to that little silicon nano chip-set, all I needed was to search for the data in the decentralized web3 and have it injected into the chip-set that functioned as a cerebral USB stick, that was far easier than memorizing.
The requirements for Q-link were, one to have a brain, two you just need to think about what you have uploaded to your Brain and have enough IQ to use it, that’s it.
So when death came knocking on my door I was in bed rereading books i remember very clearly, and today my choice of topic was books about stoicism, it gave me some peace, and I was ready to meet my oblivion, just as I was yesterday.
Then as I was Pretending to be brainlessly watching the TV, I had a very, very strong urge to take a nap, The room was swaying around me, I could feel it yes it's one of the good ones, with a deep sleep, a peaceful sleep that makes me feel dead, finally.
"Oh god, It's finally over".
I was really happy at the moment, thinking that life gives us a light at the end of the tunnel so that we can forget the pain and move on, not knowing that sometimes it's just one more F-you life gives for free.
I closed my eyes to sleep, and that was the last memory I had on earth.
DAY ZERO.
Imagine my surprise when I started to wake up, eyes closed yet i was feeling my body, it was bruised, sprawled on a bed that was as solid as the ground, tired and, 'NOoo ...did I piss my self?.'
'Is that piss I am feeling?', my skin was saying yes it is.
Cold wet cloth, it was completely soaked, oh the nurse won't like this… 'And why do I smell dirt?'.
Finally, my body started to keep up with my mind and I opened my eyes to see a forest canopy, an actual forest, all I can hear is the noise of Branches Swaying in the Wind and my heart beat. 'Oh shit, this is new'.
Next was the feeling of an empty stomach.
I started to feel something like a deep itch in the base of my neck.
As I moved my hand to feel it, a Sudden headache hit me.
Squeezing my eyes shut in pain, I started breathing heavily through my nose, my Jaw was clenching, and I positioned my self in fetal position on reflex.
On the forest ground I had my first seizure, as I was trembling uncontrollably like fish out of water, my Heart felt as if it would explode or catch fire.
Whatever was happening to me, that wasn't the end of it.
Memories not of my own flashing across my mind's eye, it was a movie of someone else's life, as badly edited movie, and I watched it.
Me as a five-year-old in a cabin with lightning shooting from my palm, I was an electric storm.
Everything started to burn, a man picking me up taking me out of the burning cabin, years later the man goes to the forest and he is not coming back.
My brain was flooding with questions, and Vivid images.
Along with the feeling of hunger always hunger and pain, then a group of people in front of a large old wood town gate, angry people they push me out, and with tears in my eyes along with fear and the hunger, I move into the forest.
The seizure ends living me feeling fatigued, it felt as if I spent years in long dream.
I was forgetting things as soon as I think about them, losing my train of thought fast, I can't focus. to concentrate was to feel pain.
All i could do was let go, just empty my mind, and let go.
that seemed to work.
some time later. I was lying down on my back, looking up at the night sky.
The night was clear and calm, too calm, I closed my eyelids and tried to feel the world around me.
It feels real, it is real.
I understand what happened to me, and strangely I accept it, feeling a strange calm descending on me, i took it in made it a part of me.
As I was enjoying the strange tranquility after all the pain now i can think, I considered my situation.
First, am way too accepting of this new reality, that is not normal, I can feel it is not.
Two, my body feels different in a way I can't tell.
And my mind has memories, they are not my memories, they just showed up in my head that's supposed to be impossible no one can just forcefully push data into an unwilling mind, the link won't allow it.
the link.
"oh shit." i broke out in a cold sweat, it has to be unauthorized. i was hacked "no no no, someone will hang for this".
all the horror movies about links hacked and fake memories uploaded into the victims, it all flashed over in mind. what can they do?, anything, and too much is the answer.
Am not insane, this event It was like the learning link pushing information into my mind, unauthorized data was uploaded to my mind, that is a true violation of my right to mind security.
the only law that was never broken was just broken and am the first victim, As I started to panic, more tranquility descended on me.
i move to looked around me and stopped. my body its smaller.
am shorter!, no no am younger. i moved my hands, my legs, i just started shifting muscles around feeling this body and clutched the dirt and smelled it.
then listened to the Branches Swaying i looked at the forest canopy, no this isn't a hack, its a mind-transfer.
its only a theoretical idea no one can actually do a self-aware transfer, memories yes, Consciousness NO.
so how?, whom?, why?.
mind-transfer, why me?. as i asked myself, i started to see those memories, this is a different body in a very different world.
I am not sure how, but this body am in, is not my own, it's the body of a dead boy with brain seizures problem and a very bad life, now my life.
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A life of loose and pain and uncertainty mixed with a world that has no mercy for the Weak.
I didn't move, just lied there on the dirt trying to absorb it all.
an actual mind-transfer, am I in different world or time or dimension?.
i considered and started to think.
Years of uploading data to my brain gave me habits that can't be broken easily, i had self-control and fortitude, that is the way for overcoming destructive emotions.
I focused my mind and tried to get my self-centered and see how to go about this situation, as far as I can see, I am fourteen years old boy. In a magical world, a world that is called earth, yeah because you know it’s full of dirt and people call it earth in different language, amsnaw ⴰⵎⵙⴰⵏ is earth.
Yet it still means earth, so they have magic and things that eat people, yes I somehow ended up in this world, specifically in a forest, in a 14 years old body, With no supplies or a community to rely on, no food and no safe shelter, and i took a piss on my self, yeah am so F-ed.
it cant get any worse.
the good news I don’t need to learn the language, it's already in my head with this strong familiarity of my surroundings.
And I know how to use this body and the magic aura it has, even if it feels wrong like having extra skin, still it feels natural and familiar.
And there is something else, a connection, it feels like I am trying to remember something.
'It's my link'
as soon as I remembered how to run my quantum link the connection got stronger, and I started accessing it, it feels faster and smother, more natural.
It’s like my quantum link connection, like it but not it, it’s there with all that I have learned and uploaded so that’s good, but the system is not the same, I can feel it, it's in passive mod, like a normal organic memory only more accurate, and the active mod is not responding.
why is it in passive mode?. there is no UI.
one more mystery to be solved, passive mod is good enough, for now.
This is not the time for an existential crisis or to do philosophy of how and why, first things first, survive.
I slowly stood up, looking around me, all I can see is the forest, traces of some ashes, some plants were half burned.
Luckily for me, I was in a small clear area mostly full of dirt.
I started feeling the weakness of this body, it's tired and starving, I need food and water.
I found a small sack or bag what ever this thing is called, it was a big sheet of fabric tied to stick it looked old and dirty.
I am left-handed so using my right hand I picked it up and with my left hand opened it, I found no food just more cloth a shirt and 6 copper coins, I think it's coin, and a small knife.
The knife was a good thing to find, I am alone and very unsafe, I need a weapon.
'Why was the knife in the bag?, its knife.'
Oh yes, the boy was getting brain damage from the seizures and the uncontrollable electric shocks his aura was pulsating.
His ability to focus must have slowly eroded, i can feel it effecting me, after all I am in his brain.
Okay let’s just hope I don’t get any more seizures, the one I just had was just physical, no electric shocks from my aura, 'no focus, no philosophy, first the weapon'.
i gripped the knife, It's just a small kitchen knife, better than nothing.
Now I need food, if I remember correctly, the boy was searching for the traps he made to see if anything was on the menu tonight.
I can't see clearly in the dim lighting from the starlight, as i was considering the idea of making a torch, I made the mistake of looking up to see the Stars and moons ....MOONS!?.
Wait no, those aren't moons, that’s one big broken moon.
'Okay now I feel very safe to see that creepy looking dead moon'.
I looked down back to earth, the hunger was very helpful, forcing me to focus on the food, need food. ignore the Apocalyptic moon, ignore it.
I walked to a half burned tree, I broke a small dead branch using my weight to pull it, and now I have a big stick to swing around.
The policy of carrying a big stick is a very good policy, especially if you're taking a walk in the Middle of the night in a magical forest.
I collected more branches from the ground and trees made a small pile and tied it up, even if I can't find food tonight, I will need the fire.
It was strange having someone else's memories in my head to guide me through this forest, I moved in the direction of the small cave the boy was using as a shelter.
Actually, It was more of a small hole in the hillside, it was not a deep cave.
Lucky for me, the boy was sometimes clear-headed and smart enough to see what he needs and get it or make it.
The cave had some branches on the small opening and behind the branches he had made a thin mud wall blocking the wind, leaving a small entrance on the right side that was closed with a door made from more branches and dry grass mixed with mud.
So I can make fire and not worry about light attracting something, just the smoke in the day will be a problem.
I opened the door and entered the cave just like the boy's memory’s it was a small cavity less than 4 meters' by 6 or 7 meters and 2 meters high, of course it wasn't a perfect measurement, it's natural cave, and i am just eyeballing it.
The first thing I can see is some rabbit bones in the left corner of the entrance next to the fire place, and on the back-end was a bed made from wet green grass with soft dirt under it.
I was feeling cold, I moved my tired body to the fire place.
Starting the fire was not as difficult as doing it by hand or flint, all i needed was just a small lightning shock from my finger to the sawdust, it was simple fire starter trick, i found it in the boy memories.
Using magic was all about aura control, and aura was like having second skin, controlling it was like controlling face muscle.
for the fire what I did was shape my aura on my fingers like I do to my lips, pushing air out to whistle, what came out was a small electric shock, it's a strange feeling, it all starts with a will.
As I was exploring this strange, familiar feeling, the hunger interrupted my thoughts.
I walked to the outside and started making extra and better traps, they where all snares traps, the boy was bad at those, I had to make two and re-make others, as i worked I started getting weaker and slower.
I went back to the cave and fall asleep, I didn’t even care that the bed was wet and cooled, my mind required a good and deep sleep.
NEXT DAY.
Waking up was easier this time no seizure, no memory flashes just my stomach squeezing its self, and the feeling of the wet grass under me.
So I stood up and looked around me, the fire that I left to burn unattended and un-watched, just like every responsible adult would, it was nothing but ashes, lucky me i wasn't.
I moved to the outside to see if the traps had anything, the one 23 or 25 meters away from the cave had a rabbit, it was a small one stuck on a rope holding its left leg.
I pulled the knife and did what all hunters do to survive, and took it back to my little home.
The routine was simple skinning and cleaning the rabbit was a bit strange, I learned the difference between knowing something and doing it, that was a good humbling experience reminding me that just because I know something it didn’t mean I understand it completely.
Cleaning the rabbit was a good distraction, i can feel yesterday’s confusion is fading away.
if think too much I start to get nervous, so I started to focus on what my hands are doing and made my dinner or lunches or breakfast, am not sure what to call it, I still had some wood from yesterday.
Starting the fire was just like yesterday, I was concentrating on that feeling of having extra skin. i pushed mana from my core to my aura and fired it out from my left-hand fingers, a very small lightning strike like from a Taser shocked the wood and wood dust.
Looking at it burn made me feel good, feel in control, a control i needed to feel in this strange land with this strange experience.
As the rabbit was getting cooked, even my hunger didn’t distract me from my own thoughts.
I am in an unknown location, no food supply, no safety net, nothing not even a map, the boy's memories showed me nothing useful, and most of his memories are hazy or missing.
he was Just a small village boy with little knowledge about the world, yet he had a good understanding of how it feels like to be lost and confused.
I need to get myself out of this situation, I need food safety and information about this world, and my place in it.
As i was thinking about the boy’s life in the village, I started to explores some memories and eating like a savage dog, the memories were not perfect , more like a movie I watched a very long time ago, and i can't remember it clearly.
I carefully reviewed some memories from this new world. looking for hint or anything i can use from my perspective.
there was a memory of A group of visitors that came to the village from the city, they were all called elves.
One woman was in the front she was clearly the group leader dressed in long white robe behind her were three men in black robes accompanied by six guards in medieval armor.
They started testing the village children using a crystal ball.
the test was simple You were asked to put your hand on the crystal ball, and you push your aura into it, and it measures your power level, and the purity of your aura.
Not all people had large amount of power just enough for day to day life, yet some had strong deep levels of power and control, and it was mostly girls that had more control over MANA, and a higher level of MANA purity. because they need more of it to get pregnant. mana was a part of the biology in this world.
yet not all auras were born equal. there are some that cant even feel mana.
So a small grope of humanity, the 5% to 7% can use mana better than everyone else not just because of power but because of the control problem that was related to the purity of MANA.
12/20 of all advance magic users are girls, sometimes 17/20 if the boy's information is correct, it was not strange to see magic guilds run by a group of women.
And having more girls in adventurer groups, some even had religions saying that women are more favored by gods or some amazonian ideology like that.
And of course every kid in the village was tested, only 3 were taken to get more training, 1 boy and 2 girls.
Their families were as happy as they can be, for their luck, except when my or his turn came up they completely ignored him.
The village boy with the soul problem, or as the locals called it, the soul sickness.
And that’s why I have a rusty colored badge that signifies my status, the words on it were simple and to the point.
“Sick soul”
By law, I was not to marry or have children and just to add insult to injury.
I am forced to have it on my neck, at all times, so that the world will know what I am, the badge wasn't even necessary anyone can feel aura, a simple examination of my aura can show the problem.
Yes the problem that's a nice way to say sick soul or as some would say “beast soul” and by law if I take it off and get found out I die.
I took it off.