For the third time too many during this mission, Alpha’s consciousness flickered back online. Seriously, he had to stop passing out in the middle of fights. It was getting embarrassing! Dangerous, too, but mostly embarrassing! The last thing he remembered was being blasted through an ice sheet by a giant…
“CHICKEN!”
Alpha sprang up, the TAWP groaning in protest, even sparking in a few places, as point defense torrents came to life, firing wildly in all directions until he realized he wasn’t still under attack.
Wait, why wasn’t he under attack?
Alpha stood the TAWP up and spun its cameras around, seeing just what kind of hole he’d dug himself into this time. No, that wasn’t a clever pun. Alpha found himself in an honest-to-god hole. Or maybe it was more of a pit? A crater?
He never thought that saying could be so… literal.
The crater he stood in wasn’t massive, as craters went. He’d seen bigger, at least. Hell, he’d made bigger.
Pffft, puny chicken.
The bigger issue was that it was deep; Big Bird’s attack hadn’t just thrown him against the planet, but bored him into it. The resulting hole was less a shallow impact crater and more like someone took a planet-sized ice-cream scooper to the world and dumped him at the bottom.
To make matters worse, Alpha didn’t like some of the sounds the TAWP was making. A quick diagnostic review showed that most of his major systems were barely functioning. His TAWP was in rough shape, to say the least. The worst damage was to one of the front legs. The entire frontal armor section was totally ruined, with both the metal and nanites used in its construction reduced to slag.
“MY LEG!”
Its internal frame was also slightly bent, preventing it from fully extending. Alpha could still fight if he had to, but he sure as hell wasn’t pulling off any of the fancy maneuvers he had during the fights with the squid and chicken.
To make matters worse, that last attack on his hex shield had almost drained his energy core. It would take extensive repairs and a lot of time before he was up to even 15% full functionality. But that was future Alpha’s problem. Present Alpha had bigger issues to worry about.
Like getting out of this crater.
He couldn’t even make out anything past the rim of the crater, only the clear, empty sky above him.
… Wait… clear?… EMPTY?!
“THEY TOOK MY SHIP!” Alpha screamed into the open sky.
Why did he feel like he was yelling a lot today?
Okay, sure, it had technically just been the twisted wreckage of what used to be his ship, but still. It was the principle of the matter, dang it. No one stole from him! Only he was allowed to steal!
Ohhhh, as soon as he figured a way out of this hole — both physically and metaphorically — he was sooooo going to show that chicken who the real cock of the walk was!… Wait, that didn’t sound correct…
No matter! The point was, he was totally going to blow something of his up next time! MAYBE HIS BLOODY MOON! Ya! Burn it down! Now, if he could just find some combustible lemons…
Scheming his future schemes schemingly, Alpha approached the crater’s edge. There was no way he was making it up the side with the RCS thrusters in the condition they were in, and a quick test confirmed the TAWP couldn’t jump that high with its busted leg. He doubted climbing out would work either; while the outermost layer of the crater had been glassed, the earth underneath looked like loose topsoil, not something that could support his weight.
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“Well, get your shovels ready, fellas….”
—————————————————————
It had taken Alpha close to four hours to dig out a ramp large enough to squeeze through and stable enough not to collapse under the enormous weight of the TAWP, but he’d managed it — if not without a lot of complaining and cursing, of course.
When he, at last, pulled himself over the edge, however, Alpha had to stop and stare, not sure what to make of what he was seeing.
Instead of the lifeless, rocky core of an ice giant, as he’d expected, Alpha found himself on a seemingly endless prairie of strange, rainbow-colored grass with a few large, sparse maybe-trees dotting the horizon.
“… Well, it’s definitely not Kansas. I can tell you that much…”
As soon as the words left his speakers, a small clod of dirt slammed into the TAWP.
Alpha turned an optical sensor in that direction to find a small, gopher-like creature angrily chittering at him from a distance.
The creature slammed a tiny paw into the ground, and another clod of dirt magically rose into the air and shot toward him, harmlessly splattering across his frame.
Alpha sighed.
Everyone’s a critic…
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<< Alpha Log - #003
6952 SFY-Third Era, Planetfall>>
// Maintenance Sub-AI EDIT: WARNING - Grammatical and structural error threshold has exceeded the acceptable 12% margin as outlined by Federation Report Standard Guidelines. Damage to linguistical processing software detected… Unable to contact Federation Scribe Network… Solution - Retroactive Corrections. Note: Maintenance would like it to go on record that Maintenance is not an editor and will not be held responsible for any damage caused by Alpha Prime’s unrestricted ramblings. You have been warned. //
———
This is bull crap! How the hell did I lose to a chicken?! Who gives a chicken a giant death laser?! I’m not jealous! You’re jealous!
That last attack was pure bull. Sure, a TAWP-printed [Gungnir] isn’t as powerful as a properly built, full-scale model, but with as many nitrogen rods as I stuffed into the bloody thing, I could have sniped a small cruiser in orbit!
How the hell does any of that make any sense?!
I swear on my circuit board, round two will end differently!
… As soooon as I figure out how to get off this blasted planet, that is!
I have no idea what prairies are doing on an ice giant, but I don’t care anymore.
I just want off this planet!
Wait, did I say that already? No matter! Here’s the plan!
1) - Explore the area. It’s best to vacate the immediate location as soon as possible. There’s no telling if the natives have contact with whoever was on the moon. Or if the planet is inhabited at all, given the massive ice shell surrounding it.
2) - Attempt basic field repairs. The TAWP is in poor shape, and there’s not much I can do without the proper equipment and supplies. At the very least, I need to get the TAWP to the point it won’t fall apart the moment something big enough decides it doesn’t like me.
3) - Find suitable resource deposits to plant a few nanite seeds. The nanites aren’t the best extractors, but they’ll work as an intermediary to get something better up and running.
4) - Begin work on a bunker and proper factory. Once those are up and running independently, I can branch out and explore the planet more.
5) - ???
99) - Make chicken soup! What? So what if I can’t eat it? Stop judging!
———
// Maintenance Sub-AI EDIT: The following section was a three-page recipe for chicken soup. This section has been REDACTED due to Federation laws prohibiting the cruel treatment of animals and several dozen felony-level culinary infractions. //
———
… If the planet is inhabited, I need to figure out how they stack up against the group on the moon. More importantly, learn if they have a way off the planet. Otherwise, I’ll be stuck building a shuttle and trying to grow enough nitrogen crystals to blast through the ice shell.
I don’t want to resort to that if I have to, though. That’s likely to draw more attention than is healthy in my current state.
Oh well, let’s wing it! What’s the worst that could happen?