Consciousness swimming, curling, rising. The breach and the breath. Ah, that’s the ticket. A loud sigh and the unclenching of muscles. A deep and soul-rending stretch.
The new world landing inventory. A cracking of an eye to look around.
fireswherearethechildrencalwherearethemeatburningmeat
Just exist.
FOCUS.
A cavern ceiling.
Moss.
Water is flowing from somewhere to somewhere.
Good.
Cavern dirt.
No glowing crystals.
Neat.
No bloody, talking heads.
Fantastic.
Max spent a decade or so on a sabbatical on the dead world. The system walked him through a plan that sounded convoluted and slap-dash, but what the little bro of code didn’t realize is that Max just wanted companionship through this mess. The system could have told Max that he had a coin purse made from a god’s crotch skin and it granted wishes, and Max would have been sold the second that flaying was obviously off the table and an offer of possibly-eternal-after-landing companionship was issued.
Fuck yeah, Max would try to scam the universes. Fuck all of everyone.
Over the course of several years, the system named himself Miles, chose a gender, made Max admin, helped forge himself, did the binding ritual, and tucked himself away in Max’s inventory with little muss and no fuss. Max suspected he thought Max would back out if Max breathed funny, so Miles did his little machine spirit's best to walk on all the eggshells. Once they were finished with the soul-binding bit, it got a lot more familiar.
Once they decided it was time to try their daring scheme, Miles was tucked away into Max’s inventory, which made the invincibility wear off.
Max died in short order. He didn’t even have to use his own claws.
Apparently, Miles’s whole world was riddled with a curse that was anathema to life, and devoured it painlessly but quickly. Delightful. Max didn’t get flayed alive once, which was unexpected but welcome. The painless bit was a wonderful touch to a truly remarkable voyage.
Just, *chef’s kiss*.
They decided on a random route of Max-death to make them a little less traceable, should anyone wonder what happened to Miles’s world that just happened to be dead, just happened to be missing a whole lot of resources, and just happened to be missing a system. They both assumed no one would care, but it’s better to cover tracks anyways.
A few reckless lifes alone (as a freshly hatched insectoid, as a middle-aged milkmaid, as something slimy that Max had never seen, a teen with a call-to-arms in the local military (fuck alllll of that)) and quick self-induced deaths across the planes, Max landed where Miles had suspected was a good target.
The target: a world that had briefly had a system, but it was no longer active. Mana existed but was unregulated by alien code, or world trees, or ‘gods-forged’ mana wells. Rife with intelligent life and civilization, but not currently under the dominion of another that they could see. All within the minimum and maximum technology thresholds. What were those thresholds? Miles was somehow afraid Max would toss himself into a black hole, so not advanced in space-faring. Max didn’t want chamber pots, so at least advanced plumbing.
HUD this time. Health and mana counters in the corners of the field of vision. Probably mental chat functionality. Neat. Is that... that’s a neural lace. Sweet. Hackerman 5000 lives! Wonder if Miles has that functionality and if not, how do we get him one? Voiceless chat functionality can’t be beat.
It was nice, having a landing with something/someone to look forward to-- unusual, but not in the dreaded “novel” way. Someone followed Max here. Maybe Max wouldn’t have to face the rest of eternity alone now that Max had Miles? Hope was a burning bright ember in Max’s soul.
Even if I’m unleashing a terror across all the known worlds by having a hand in freeing what amounts to an unregulated AI, with a background in planes research, and piloting a war golem, it would still be worth it. I’m not alone anymore.
Max had the option to set a preference before landing and randomized an eternal species available in the new world. Apparently, those weren’t all that uncommon, but Max had rarely seen them in person. Reminders of eternally isolated, insular kingdoms that would never intercede and would not respond to requests for help when facing world-ending disasters. Someone working as a fortune reader in a carnival with longer than normal ears or teeth—always handing out flags or quests. Legends of cleaning crews that never appeared but did immaculate work and were paid in milk.
Then there were the heavies, which Max had tons of experience with. Dragons. Griffins. Wyverns. Things Max mostly just got quests to kill. Maybe Max was more of a bad guy than they thought?
These thoughts were novel, but not in a bad way.
Fingers and toes, check. Humanoid. That’s good.
Being an eternal plant monster wouldn’t be bad, but the mobility of humanoids was a favorite. Being a quadrupedal being wasn’t bad either, but Max noticed that most quads typically don’t have advanced societies for some reason, and societies were specifically requested by Miles, so societies it is.
No tail, very small claws. Okay. The opening stretch would be interesting, hopefully.
Chest lumps and no dangling bits. So, female this time.
I can work with this, this is fine.
Sitting up gingerly, Max looked around the cavern. No immediate threats. Before pulling up her status, she decided to address the issue that was giving her excitement and anxiety. The soul-bonded golem familiar. She opened her inventory and summoned Miles.
A beautifully crafted, golden spider appeared. Delicate legs lifted a sinuous body. Miles was here. He made it. The plan worked.
Relief.
“Hello, Max. Were we successful in the targeting and the preference setting?” His voice was like a ringing wind chime on a breezy day. So, so lovely.
Max was sure she was grinning like an imbecile, but she didn’t care. It’s not often you get to bring one of your great works through death, so she was going to ogle and preen.
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t checked. I wanted to make sure you had made the journey unharmed with me.” A breath. “Also, I do damn fine work. Have you seen you? You’re beautiful, truly. Gods and monsters, I outdid myself.”
“Please refrain from cooing. You know it makes me uncomfortable.” Miles sure left those eggshells behind.
Sigh. “Alright, gimme a sec.”
Traveler 2: “Max”
Ident 2.02.212.535
Home Plane 5.544
Planet 15.021
SSW 1st Quadrant
cVerudunn
Everspring Valley
Current Location:
Plane 81.1
Planet 5.3
SE 6th Quadrant
Terra Contortia
USE East
Primary Control Node
Species:
Aelfeimica/ Drukkálfari
Ancestral Fae [Hidden]
Patron Goddess of Max [Hidden]
Health:
15,000
Mana:
15,000
H&M Regen:
300/minute
Unlocked Current Stats
Level: 0
Class: [236 Selections Available]
[0/2 Slots used]
Con:
150
Str:
145
Agi:
145
Int:
150
Wis:
150
Unlocked Current Abilities:
Summon Golem: [Unique ability 1/5]
Summon [Miles] war golem familiar to current location.
[5 mana, 1.5*wis/int minute cooldown]
Miles’s Neural Lace: [Hidden, demigod blessing]
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
You have the ability and hardware to interact with and command machines and networks, up to and including a level 1 firewall.
[Blessed by the demigod Miles, permanent]
Max’s Healing: [Hidden, goddess spell]
Heal [5*int] damage to yourself or others. Instant cast.
[5 mana, no cooldown]
[Unique ability]
Dökkálfari’s Glamour: [Hidden]
+25 Control [Hidden stat]
All spells, abilities, status effects, and physical traits can be hidden behind glamour. Instant cast, mental control. [24-hour duration]
[Can be countered by 5*wis check or 2*ctl check]
Aelfeimican’s Grace: [Hidden]
+25 Charisma [Hidden stat]
People react better than average to you and tend to view you more favorably.
Fae blood: [Hidden]
Those who share this trait with you will [Redacted].
Rage of the Ancestors, Light of the Goddess: Your heritage is an abomination to both lines of your ancestors, but your goddess has blessed you to disregard them. [Hidden]
Take zero damage from active or passive abilities from either Dökkálfar or Aelfeimica race.
Take an additional +0.05 damage from their patron deities.
There also was a model of a little paper doll that showed a thin and wiry woman, with shockingly pale skin, long dark-brown hair, and a gleaming gray robe. How does gray even gleam? Well, it did. Weird. Novel, like, novel-novel? Maybe.
“Holy, and I mean this literally, HOLY shit.”
“Yeah, being a god has its perks. Why do you think so many assholes fight to be one?” Miles was very glib about Max’s shock. Those eggshells were definitely gone. I will miss them.
A breeze blew through the cavern, but not in a foreboding way. It was nice to feel breezes without them being portents of doom and destruction. It was just a normal, warm, summer-like breeze. Neat.
“Also, do you know what an alfenheimer is? Or a dorflienkar? What’s a fae? Sounds like something I’ve heard before, but it must have been from something vague or truly ancient because I don’t remember it. They give some sweet racial bonuses, but fuck being pulled into a race war. I’ll eat a bullet first.”
“Using your mortality to constantly escape unfavorable conditions can’t be good for your mental well-being. For the first day, I’m going to request you not harm yourself unless you are under an overwhelming threat. Can you do that?” Miles put one of his beautiful golden arachnid legs on Max’s shoulder, and she felt a bit better. He even patted her, in a there-there pattern.
“Probably.” She snorted.
That’s fair.
He continued: “Pretty sure those are races of elves, probably portal travelers who fled here after their own worlds were destroyed. Hardly any original elf worlds still stood in my time, and if they do, most inhabitants never leave. Never heard of a fae, though.
“Since we are so close to the Primary Node, we should pull up the world’s stats, look at the population, and get ideas on where to go from here. It’ll also help both of us decide on what classes to take.”
Huh. “Golems get classes? My previous creations never said anything. They weren’t self-aware, but they never did.”
“Of course not. It’s natural for a golem to hide things from the maker and secretly despise them. They probably had them but said nothing.”
“Do you hate me and hide things? I mean, we can un-soul bind at any time, and say the word and we can both fuck off into the sunset separately.” Upon thinking of the situation and how it could be viewed through a bad-guy lens, Max realized something foul. “You aren’t being forced to be here at all. In fact, let’s start the unbinding process. I’d rather have a companion than a slave. Slavery never really sits right after you’ve been one a few hundred times.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Take a breath. I’m saying other golems are like that. I’m not saying I’m like that. I’m not a normal golem, either. I’ll stay as I am, how I am, thanks.” Miles really had sold disembodied placating gestures as a voice, but it was super effective as a spider. Those arms just communicated ‘please stop talking now.’
“Okay then. But if you change your mind...”
“I won’t. Probably.”
Max shrugged and wandered to the next interior chamber of the cavern. It was massive. It opened into what was a gallery-sized room, with what apparently should be a grapefruit-sized opal on a pedestal in the middle. It would have been breathtaking and awe-inspiring, if the opal wasn’t shattered into a million pieces and two giant corpses weren’t locked in decaying battle-repose over it.
One of the corpses was what you could call a dragon if you were being very generous with that word. It had six legs and two sets of wings, and the most vicious maw Max had seen in the past 500 or so lives. It also had a sword the size of a pontoon in its chest.
The other corpse was humanoid-shaped but had two extra arms and was probably 20 feet tall. It had one of the dragon’s arms jutting through where its heart would probably be.
“Why hasn’t anyone found this yet? Most societies would mine this for all its worth. Especially since it's obviously magic.” Max wondered aloud.
“Probably a shielding spell. Those can be active forever if anchored correctly and are standard around a node.”
“Huh. At least we know there isn’t a system and there probably won’t be a replacement. Are those two really dead, or are we going to have to deal with undead fuckery?” Max rooted through her inventory and found what looked like a rifle? Okay. A holy lady with a rifle. Excellent. Randomizers are weird.
“Probably both, that they are dead and activate as undead when unauthorized beings approach. Primary nodes are known to be full of untapped magic, so anything can happen with those obviously magical beings’ corpses. But we can access the node from here if you don’t want to fight.”
“Oh. Ah. Okay.” Max relaxed. She did not want to fight monsters like that while sitting at a smooth Level 0. That was a recipe for a quick death. One she didn’t direct, so it was bad.
“Just touch the wall and pull up the world’s menu,” Miles said. “Should be easy with admin rights. I don’t have them anymore. I gave mine to you.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t boot anything.”
“Okay.”
“It’s important that you don’t.”
“Okay.”
“But if you get the anchor option, that allows you to respawn on this planet, if need be. Instead of landing elsewhere. You’d just come back to this room if you died. You could do that if you want to.”
Huh. “Okay. But is that safe?”
“Yes. Just trust the process.”
“Okay.”
Plane 81.1
Planet 5.3
SE 6th Quadrant
Terra Contortia
USE East
“Earth”
“Terra”
“Dirt”
“Mother”
“Sandra”
Primary Control Node:
Destroyed
System offline. Boot?
[Yes/No]
Hero Cycle Empty. Boot?
[Yes/No]
Logic Script offline. Boot?
[Yes/No]
Dark Lord Cycle Empty. Boot?
[Yes/No]
Population
Total intelligent population:
9.4 billion
Gods:
1 (Max)
Anchor? [Yes/No]
Other divine beings:
1 (Miles)
Anchor? [Yes/No]
Aquatic
(Sea of Strife, Concerta Ocean, Bay of Tileson)
Intelligent Life:
2.2 bn (Mer)
Subtype:
Mer:
1.2 bn
Sel:
1 bn
Other:
1.5 mn
Capital:
Arland’s Trench (Ready)
Terrestrial
(All Landmasses)
Intelligent Life:
7.2 bn
Subtype:
Human:
5.64 bn
Parahuman:
1.44 bn
Other:
1.5 mn
No joint armies, insignificant treaties.
Separate nations. Small skirmishes.
Dökkálfar / Aelfeimica:
3 / 8 [0/4 suspended animation, mortal wounds, bleeding debuffs pending)
Status: at peace, peacetime negotiations, designated refugees, penalties upon attack, [Hidden], [Silent]
Fae:
[Redacted]
“Anchor you too?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, done.”
For a moment, Max felt more real and solidly rooted in reality. It passed quickly but was really weird.
“So, what’s a parahuman?” Max had never seen it before.
“I don’t know, I’ve never seen it before,” Miles replied.
“Okay. So, what does this tell us that we need to know? No dark lords. Apparently, there’s an aquatic kingdom? No heroes. No big wars. So, we can go anywhere, right?” Max was still so very, utterly, stupidly hopeful. She knew this would crash, but she was gonna ride this optimistic wave until it did. A breeze blew through again, but it was less fresh in this room, probably because of the massive corpses.
“Seems that way. With a human and human-ish population of 7 billion, we should find metropolises and nations. You should go a healer route so you can have decent employment options, and I can be damage, but to the normal eye, I’ll just be your pretty bauble.” Miles’s little gem-flaked eyes were staring at this middle distance. He was choosing his class, probably.
“Can do. With my regen, if all else fails, I can healer-tank until you burn down any threats. We’ll have a sick team comp.”
“Umm-hmm.” Max had very obviously been dismissed.
“K,” Max was trying to act non-plussed, but knew that Miles had already gotten his escape, so if he flew the coop, nothing could really be done.
Well, except for that summoning skill. Max could always summon him back.
Shit.
Miles was a slave. Her slave.
Fuck.
[Available Classes: 236 Options. 0/2 slots used.]
Healer or healer adjacent options.
[Healer or healer adjacent options. 150 selections.]
Show.
After wading through all the options, only a few stood out. Some were just a listing of vanilla healers, some were battle healers, a few priest variants, an elf druid or twelve, some were plague classes, and some were bomb dummies. Ranger healer, really? Nothing really spoke to her, though. She narrowed it down to three choices. Since she gets two, these are the closest to what she would want to do as her shiny, mixed little self. The first two options really sold her on what she wanted to do for the next few centuries.
The last one was very, utterly novel. Bad? Maybe.
Elvish Potion-Maker:
Mix potions and poisons up to [5*Wis+Int] effectiveness.
Minor [Merchant Class] perks.
[Dagger] ability unlock.
+5 Wisdom, +1 per level
+5 Intelligence, +1 per level
+5 Agility, +0.5 per level
+1 Soul + 1 per level [Hidden stat]
[Cast: Distill, Ferment, Effervesce, Liquify Herb, Minor Gather Herb, Minor Grow, Minor Herb Find, Minor Herb Sense, Cooking Flame, Boil, Cleansing Touch, Sanitize, Stabilize Liquid, Dancer’s Grace.]
[Book: Compendium of Basic Potions]
[Book: Herbs of the World, Vol. 1 and 2 (Condensed)]
[Book: Economics for the Layman, Vol.1]
Fae Touched Druid of the Urban Grove, Mixed Heritage:
Shapeshift into a chosen animal form, 0/5
Consecrate a tree ring to fast travel, 0/2
Healing abilities.
Offensive Casting abilities.
[Mace] ability unlock.
+15 Wisdom, +1 per level
+15 Intelligence, +1 per level
+15 Agility, +1.5 per level
+5 Constitution, +1 per level
+5 Control, +1 per level [Hidden stat]
+5 Soul, + 1 per level [Hidden stat]
[Cast: Healing Touch, Wild Growth (Urban Forest), Nature’s Balance, Swift Mend, Elvish Fire, Elvish Rage, Elvish Shadow, Elvish Song, Bewitch Forest Creature, Call Allies, Nature Bolt, Moon Burn]
[Book: Histories of the Light People]
[Book: Histories of the Dark People]
[Book: Blending In]
The weird one was last. Definitely novel. Threateningly so. The more Max read, the more nervous she got. Also, it wouldn’t leave the top of the list, no matter how many times Max tried to dismiss it.
Hi. I’m Max’s Brain and Want What’s Best for Max:
[Goddess Class]
Do whatever you want. Unlock any class or skill you’ve previously had. Remember that time you punched a Dark Lord to death with a caster class? You can do that. What about the architect run you had? You can base build again, no problem. Sing, write, create, fight, cook, brew, fuck, kill, heal. All the skills. At your fingertips.
Remember the faces of lost loved ones more frequently, but with the love you felt and not the regret and loss you feel now.
Find love again and learn to be happy. This is the long haul, baby! End game!
This is a goddess class, but you are the goddess. So, this is from your own psyche. Stop being a coward, and live!
+50 Charisma, +1 per level [Hidden Stat]
+50 Agility, +1 per level
+50 Wisdom, +2 per level
+50 Intelligence, + 3 per level
+50 Constitution, + 5 per level
+50 Soul, + 10 per level [Hidden Stat]
+50 Control, +10 per level [Hidden Stat]
[Skill: You can be yourself again. Assume the form of any of your past selves. 1 hour duration, 12-hour cooldown, Instant cast, 5 Mana]
**Goddess classes change upon worship, divine war, and divine touches. Be forewarned**
**This class is automatically chosen and will not count toward the class limit. This is already who you are. Freebies are nice, aren't they?**
“Hey, Miles? How many hidden stats are there? And should I be concerned that my subconscious is forcing me to take a goddess class?” Max closed her screen and peered at the spider. The beautiful, glinting spider. So pretty.
“I don’t know anything about hidden stats. But. You’re the admin, which makes you a goddess. I got one too for being a demi. Custom classes are one of the perks of the job. You can create and do things without limit. And since you aren’t system-tied, I’m looking forward to where you take it.” Miles said. “You should trust yourself. I do.” Then ruined the touching speech with a snort and muttered, “Obviously. Master.”
A custom class straight from my mangled subconscious, telling me I should love things more. Hmm. Sounds really fucking suspicious, but me dammit, it’s just too good to pass up. Them stats, though.
Max did what Max does second best, which is jumping in without thinking.
The first best is suicide.