Ginny heaved her luggage upwards to try get up the steps of the train. She thought she had it, but then the edge of her bag got caught on the sharp lip of the metal step. In frustration, Ginny sent a tendril of her magic and lifted the case slightly so it wouldn’t be as heavy. She got it over the lip and finally got it in the train.

She saw that Molly and Dad were staring at her, seeing her brief struggle and small pileup of other students waiting to enter the train. Ginny waved to them and they waved back. Then she was in the train. She made her way towards the back where the first years would sit.

Luckily, she hadn’t brought Fawkes with her on the train. He would teleport to Hogwarts once she was there, there was no need to have him wait on the train with her for so long. Or scare off any potential new friends she could make. People were staring at her enough as she made her way back through the compartments with the third and fourth years. There was one absentminded looking blonde girl in blue robes that looked hopefully at her for a few seconds before frowning and looking away as Ginny looked blankly at her. Had they been friends before she lost her memories?

Ginny made her way to the back of the train where there were individual compartments on either side. Most of them were full. She had to go all the way to the back before she found a compartment that was free.

There was a boy in there with a muggle newspaper and a pencil, writing letters in a series of boxes. She opened the door and poked her head in, “Is this compartment free?” She asked, startling the boy who had appeared focused. His brown eyes met hers and he looked confused for a moment. He had very dark skin, darker than Ginny had seen on somebody before. Most of the people she’d seen so far were pale, although not quite as pale as her or her siblings usually. Balthazar’s skin was bright red, she wondered what other colors of skin people could have. Or was the red skin just a Balthazar thing?

“Oh, yeah!” He said, “It’s free, come on in. You need help with your luggage?”

“That’d be great,” Ginny said in relief. Her stupid arms were so weak, and even with the boy’s help they had some trouble lifting it and putting it away in the compartment above.

They sat back down and stared at each other for a few seconds as she sat down across from him.

“Never thought I’d be wearing a dress,” He said suddenly to break the silence. She blinked and looked down to her school robes. Her mind churned for a second before it came together for her.

“Oh, are your parents non-magical?” Ginny said, “Are you used to wearing muggle clothes?”

“Muggle? Er, yeah. Whole thing’s new to me by the way. I’m Jack by the way. Jack Anverts.”

“I’m Ginny. Ginny Weasley. Muggle's are what magicals call non-magical people. What were you doing with the paper?”

Jack looked down and then back up at her, “Doing the crossword. You want to help? I was stuck on five across…”

“Sure, what’s the clue?” Ginny asked as she stood and went around to sit next to Jack. He flushed slightly, but handed her his pencil and tilted the paper so she could see.

“Just says ‘seafood’. Five letters.”

Ginny looked at the crossword and scrunched her brow. Five letter word that was seafood. There was an ‘I’ already filled in the second to last slot from one of the other words, but otherwise the other boxes were empty. Ginny came up blank for a few seconds before the answer came to her.

“Oh, I know! Squid. Look.”

She wrote it down and filled the boxes.

“Oh! Thanks,” Jack said, “That looks right. I think I might know what seven down is actually. Have you done any crosswords before? That was quick.”

Ginny opened her mouth and then paused. Where had she seen a crossword before? How had she immediately known the rules, she couldn’t remember seeing one before. Her Uncle had played them often on Sundays hadn’t he? But she didn’t have an uncle she knew, let alone one that would read muggle newspapers. Her head throbbed as something pulsed in the back of her mind. Something was there just waiting to break free.

“Ginny? You alright?”

Ginny shook her head as the memories sank back down into the depths. They had felt closer that time, like they were almost at the surface and ready to emerge. Was that something she wanted? To return to how the old Ginny was with current Ginny tacked on top like some extra flavor? How could her few months of memories compare to over eleven years of her old self’s memories? Would she still be her if the memories returned?

“Ginny?”

She shook her head again and looked at Jack, “Yeah. I’m fine, Jack. No, my first time. Just surprised I figured it out so quickly I guess.”

Jack looked impressed. “Your first time? Wow, that was fast. Took me a bit for my dad to get me to understand how it all works the first time he showed me.”

“Is it fun?” Ginny asked, “Seems hard.”

Jack shrugged, “I dunno. I always did them with my dad all the time. Doesn’t usually take him more than a couple minutes to solve. He’s really good at them. Figured on my own it would kill an hour or so maybe.”

“Huh. You want to do it together?”

“Sure. Still got about half of it left. You see any from the ones left…”

They solved the crossword together, Ginny getting rather stumped after her initial success. Out of the five remaining words she only solved one more while Jack did the rest.

Jack put the crossword and paper back on the table and put his pencil on top of it and quickly put it away back in his luggage.

“Did you read the paper?” Ginny asked Jack, “Or did you just want the puzzle?”

“Just the puzzle,” Jack said while shifting in his seat, “The train hasn’t started moving yet, do you think…”

The door opened up slightly and a girl’s head popped in, looking rather frazzled. She had black hair and looked slightly tanned like she had been out in the sun. And not had her skin blister out in sunburns like Ginny did the first day when Molly had forgotten to apply the sunscreen spell to Ginny in the morning. Ginny turned to look to the door to see the new girl, not at all surprised and having noticed the girl approaching and peeking in all the other compartments as she went along with her magic sense.

“Hello? Do you have room?” The girl asked, “All the others seem to be full.”

Jack shared a look with Ginny.

“Yeah, come on in,” Jack said, “Need help with your trunk?”

“No, thanks,” The girl said, “I’ve got it.”

She came inside and lifted up her trunk and put it in the upper compartment in one smooth motion. Ginny eyed her arms that evident muscle tone to them. She compared it to her own weak twigs of arms. The other girl took the seat opposite of them and sat with a huff.

“You wouldn’t believe it,” She complained, “I checked nearly every compartment before this one. They were all full or filled with nasty people hoping to be in some Slytherin place when we get to school. Honestly, no idea why they had to be so rude.”

“Slytherin house?” Ginny asked, “That’s one of the four. I wouldn’t go there if you can, they don’t like people with non-magical parents too much.”

The girl straightened, “What? Why? What’s the big deal, we all got magic right?”

Jack was looking at Ginny expectantly too, and she realized what she had just gotten herself into. She would just have to remember her Dad’s explanation to her after she had been confused about the Auror’s dismissive comments about the ‘muggle-born’ when they were hanging about after questioning her about Peter Pettigrew.

“I’m Alexandria Adams by the way. Most people just call me Alexa,” The girl said after Ginny didn’t answer.

“Ginny Weasley.”

“Jack Anverts.”

“So Alexa, Jack. How’s it been in the magical world so far?” Ginny asked to quickly distract from the earlier question.

“Oh? Are your parents magical?” Alexa asked, “What was that like?”

Ginny shifted uncomfortably, “It was fine,” She said, “Lots of spells, enchantments all over the house… All my older brothers went to Hogwarts, so I know some stuff about the school from what they’ve told me.”

“Brothers?” Alexa asked, “How many? I have a little brother. He’s only like four, so nobody knows yet if he’ll develop magic like me though.”

“I’m an only child,” Jack supplied, “Always wondered what it’d be like to have siblings.”

Ginny cleared her throat, “Six. I’ve got six older brothers.”

Both of them stared at her in surprise. “Six?!” Alexa gasped, “That’s so many! And you’re the only girl? That must be so strange for you growing up.”

Ginny shrugged. She didn’t really remember any of it…

“Oh, so you really must know all about Hogwarts then,” Jack said from Ginny’s right, “From all your brothers telling you things.”

“Yeah, it’s this big castle. It’s thousands of years old. It was created by the four founders of Hogwarts…”

Ginny told them what she knew and the three of them kept talking as the train lurched into motion and started moving across the countryside. After a few minutes it started raining outside rather heavily and the sun was shrouded by heavy clouds and thunder.

A cart with sweets came by and Alexa and Jack both bought some. Ginny tried to not to be too suspicious when they asked her if she was sure she didn’t want to buy something. She didn’t have enough money. She was guilty enough after she’d learned that Dad had put their family in debt to Dumbledore just so Fawkes could come and live with them…

“Oh, did either of you get an animal?” Alexa asked, “I got a toad. Isn’t he so slimy and cute?”

She reached to her side and lifted the toad that looked thoroughly unimpressed to eye level. She squeezed it slightly and it gave out a small croak while its eyes were bugged out. She put it back down next to her on the seat and the toad didn’t appear to move, just sitting there passively.

“Ah, now my hands are dirty,” Alexa said as she looked between her slimy hands and the candy in front of her. She settled with wiping her hands on her robes for a few seconds before seeming to declare it good enough and unwrapping another piece of candy and popping it into her mouth.

“Are toads even supposed to be slimy?” Jack asked curiously, “I thought that was frogs.”

Oh! Ginny knew this one!

“They’re magic toads,” She said, “That slime they make is useful in a lot of potions. So over time people bred them to make more slime.”

“Really?” Alexa asked, “So normal toads aren’t supposed to be slimy?”

“No, that’s frogs,” Jack said, “They breathe through their skin so they have to be covered in water all the time. Toads live on land so they can be dry if they want to.”

“They do?” Alexa asked, “Frogs and toads aren’t the same?”

“No, they’re completely different species,” Jack said, “Although I don’t know how that would work with magic. I got an owl, thought it would be useful for sending mail home. What about you Ginny? What did you get?”

“Oh, you know, I got a bird too,” Ginny said vaguely.

“Oh, an owl?” Alexa said, “Should I have gotten one? They do sound useful, will I not be able to send mail home without one?”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

Ginny shook her head, “No, there’s school owls you can use, they’re just old and take longer than if you use your own owl,” She said.

Suddenly the train lurched and Ginny felt it grind to a stop.

“What was that?” Jack asked, “Why’d we stop?”

“Hey, is anyone feeling cold?” Alexa asked suddenly started rubbing her arms. Ginny looked at the window and saw that the window had begun to frost over.

Ginny felt a terrible sense of dread wash over her, like everything in the world had become duller and drained of color. She noticed that all of them were shivering now, their breaths coming out in big plumes of white mist.

“W-W-What’s ha-happening?” Jack managed to get out as the temperature kept dropping. Ginny turned as she suddenly heard a rasping breath from the corridor outside. She tried to extend her magic sense, but it was distorted and twisted, like even the magic was diverting from whatever was standing outside of their door.

The handle to the compartment was pushed down and opened to reveal a tall cloaked figure. It reached up and Ginny saw that it had long skeletal gray fingers that reached out to finish pushing the door all the way open. Its deep hood fell back and revealed a featureless dome of gray skin with no eyes, ears, or nose. There was only a ring filling the bottom half of its face like the mouth on a leech that even now was breathing in deeply even as Ginny sat there frozen.

She tried to tug on her familiar bond with Fawkes, but nothing happened. She was frozen in fear, even the bond to Fawkes completely motionless and leaving her unable to call for help.

She managed to move her eyes and saw that Alexa and Jack were frozen as well. The hooded figure moved inside and Ginny saw that it didn’t have any legs, its torso fuzzing into the trailing black cloak with nothing beneath as it floated there.

The creature was looking at Ginny now and its breaths grew deeper.

‘What a specimen of suffering,’ a rasping voice spoke in her head, ‘A feast. The lower the lows, the greater the highs. Feed them to me. Let me see them all!’

The gray figure drifted closer and the sucking vacuum of its mouth grew louder and the world around Ginny grew even more drained and hopeless. She felt all the happiness, the comfort that Fawkes, the good moments with her family, all of them grew distant and faded.

The creature paused, its suction stopping for a second and the happiness bled into the world of despair and hopelessness for a moment. Its posture was surprised, and Ginny gasped in relief as the drain stopped.

‘No, there is more. The suffering is locked. Your highs are weak, shallow. Must know the suffering to sweeten the flavor…’

The figure raised its skeletal gray hand towards her, fingers splayed outwards, ‘Remember the Suffering!’ It said gleefully in her head.

Ginny twitched as every bad memory she’d had in these last few months washed over her. When Fate had possessed her, when Dumbledore had threatened her, when Molly hadn’t fully accepted her after it became clear that her memories wouldn’t return.

‘No! There is more! Remember the Suffering!’

Ginny thrashed weakly and everything outside of her body felt meaningless, pointless to even look at. She knew it was there, that her body was spasming and groaning while being shrouded in the deathly cold of the grave. But she couldn’t care, her mind too busy running through all of her worst moments in her short life over and over, one after another.

‘The dam, it weakens! Ah, the sweetness! I can almost taste it already!’ The figure crowed in her mind, ‘Remember the SUFFERING!’

With one final blast, something in Ginny’s mind shattered and all her memories came flooding back. Harry Potter, being beaten by his uncle, starved, locked in darkness. Hoping for release, for comfort, for help, and being ignored and scorned at every turn. Betrayed and left for dead after he finally thought that his suffering was over.

‘Yes! Yes! Remember the Suffering!’

She ran over every horrible thing that had ever happened to Harry. Every blow, every mean word, every day locked in the closet without meals as a punishment from his aunt and uncle.

‘Remember the Suffering. We’re almost there. So close!’

The terrible memories rose like a growing tidal wave in her mind, swirling and bubbling with pressure as they prepared to overwhelm her. But in the chaos there were still a few prickling sources of light. Everything good that had happened since she had become Ginny in the last few months. Fawkes, A real family that cared about her. The freedom and wonder of being able to use her magic. Balthazar helping her, and teaching her. Giving her approving smiles when she did something right.

As her mind plunged into overwhelming pain and darkness, the memories blazed like blinding stars as she clung to them desperately.

‘Yes! Yes, cling to them! Ah, so sweet. I must resist, wait until the memories are ripe…’

Ginny registered the voice, but didn’t understand the words. In all the horrible memories washing over her, she was too busy clinging to the light in hope that it might save her.

‘Ah, so beautiful… I can’t wait any more! I must partake!’

Suddenly Ginny’s stars began to rapidly fade, dimming as one to shimmering embers in moments. She scrabbled and tightened her fist around them, but no matter what she did they kept fading.

“Expecto Patronum!”

‘No! Almost there! I must finish, even if the Ministry will banish me!’

“Expect Patronum!”

‘Gah! Foul wizard-!’

The sound of the breath stopped and the voice in Ginny’s head disappeared. But she barely noticed, curling up into a ball and shivering as all of the memories of Harry washed over her. Maybe it was better to forget…

“-nny? Ginny?”

She looked up dumbly to see a thin faced man wearing a ragged coat standing above her looking worried. His face was sallow and thin, as if he was starved and he was hunched as if the tattered coat on his back was a protection against the world.

The man reached out to his jacket and pulled out a wrapped chocolate bar and unwrapped it. He broke off a piece and held it out to her. She was still lying on her side on the seat curled into a ball, looking sideways up at him.

“Would you like some chocolate?” The man said, “It helps after Dementor attacks, I’ve found.”

Ginny sat up and silently took the chocolate and started nibbling on it. It did make her feel a little better as she did so, only biting off a little crumb at a time. Ginny’s mind raced as she stopped shaking and the waves of emotions she was feeling started settling down.

She had lived a… past life? As Harry Potter? But not the one she had imagined from what people had said, nothing at all like the books she had found in her room. The ones that the old Ginny had been so obsessed with. The more she thought about the memories, the more confused she became. Who was she? Ginny Weasley? Or Harry Potter reborn?

Her confusion grew by the moment until with a ripping sound, her mind ripped in two. Now there were two parts of her warring for control in her mind. Harry Potter, and Ginny Weasley. Harry Potter was older with his years of life and memories, and carried a sort of desperation to truly experience life for the first time after hope had been taken for him so many times before.

Ginny struggled to fight him off, but her memories while mostly happy, were few and weak. It was so hard to remember the small fragment that was Ginny in the sea of Harry’s memories swirling around her. But as they struggled for supremacy, the personification of Ginny against Harry… Harry saw her life over the last few months. Her bond with Fawkes, and family. And then he let go and stopped its assault on her. She paused, uncertain what was happening as Harry’s personification drifted away in her mind. She watched slightly confused as it started to fade away and disperse.

‘Live for me,’ the last fragment of Harry whispered as it started to fade away, ‘Live the life that I’ve always wanted. Make friends, be happy, be with a family that cares about you… And get revenge on Eric for me. You’re already doing so much better than I would in your place…’

‘No, Harry. Don’t go!’ Ginny’s personification thought at him, realizing what he was doing.

‘This is for the best, Ginny. You don’t need me dragging you down. If I killed you for this body, I’d be no better than the Dursleys. No better than Eric. I hope… Remember me. Please. No one else will. This is my choice. Goodbye, Ginny. To your best life.’

‘No, Harry please!’ Ginny cried, suddenly desperate to stop him. They had been fighting like animals fighting over a piece of raw meat for control over their mind only moments ago and now he just gives up like this? Why would he do this? He should, they…

But Harry had already faded, and the collection of memories that was Ginny solidified. Her mind and memories rearranged themselves, all of Harry’s memories becoming faded and distant like they’d happened to someone else. Ginny’s memories sharpened and cemented themselves in place as the primary ones.

Harry was dead, and only Ginny remained.

She opened her eyes and was surprised to find that tears were streaming down her face as she sat there and took another small bite of the chocolate held between her hands.

She glanced at Alexa and Jack in embarrassment as she lifted her arm to her face to wipe away her tears. But she saw that they had chocolate and looked sniffly and had big red puffy eyes too. They must feel horrible from the Dementor attacks. The ragged man was still standing there, handing out more squares of chocolate whenever one of her new friends ran out. They were going through them much quicker than she was.

“W-What were those things?” Jack asked, “Why did it attack us?”

The man frowned, “I’m Remus Lupin by the way. For your question, Dementors. Guards of the wizards prison of Azkaban, that’s what those creatures are. They feed on joy and happiness, they are quite the foul creatures. With a certain Peter Pettigrew still on the run…” Lupin eyed Ginny for a moment, “The Dementors were supposed to search the train for him with their powers. Not attack you. Only to search. They will also be guarding the boundary of the Hogwarts grounds in case he tries to sneak in in the future as well.”

“Those things are going to be guarding our school?!” Alexa said, “That’s insane! After one just attacked us, did some weird magic on Ginny… I thought that Hogwarts was supposed to be safe?”

Lupin coughed awkwardly, “Ah. Safe as far as the wizarding world goes,” he corrected, “What was this? The dementor used some form of magic? Ginny, what exactly happened?”

Everyone turned to her and she shifted in her seat and took another bite of chocolate.

“T-The Dementor was talking to me. It wanted to make me feel horrible so my good memories would taste better…”

“And it did more than wait? It actively used magic on you?”

“Well, uhm. It kept chanting ‘Remember the Suffering’ over and over and I felt even more horrible each time. It felt like a spell…”

Lupin’s face stiffened, “I see,” He said, “I’ll have to alert the Ministry. Using its magic is extremely draining for it. If it did so to you then its intentions must have been… But it doesn’t matter either way. Now, here’s the rest of the chocolate bar,” Lupin put the half unwrapped bar on the table in the center of the compartment, “I’ll go to talk to the conductor to see if we can start moving again. Make sure to eat it one chunk at a time. I’ll be back soon.”

None of them said anything, all three silently eating their chocolate as a group. Ginny was feeling a little depressed about Harry, wondering if she could have done more to stop him from letting himself fade.

“We’re definitely friends now, right?” Jack said. Alexa and Ginny looked at him in confusion.

“Well, we’ve been through bad stuff together. It’s like soldiers. We got to be best friends or hate each other now. At least what my grandfather said about his buddies in the War.”

“Well I definitely don’t hate either of you,” Alexa said, “That was so horrible! Does that make us friends then?”

Ginny thought about Harry’s last words. Making friends.

“Yeah,” Ginny said firmly, “We’re friends now. Now we got to find your toad, Alexa. I think he hopped off somewhere while we were all recovering.”

Alexa whipped her head around sending her black hair whirling every which way around her.

“Oh no! Caesar? Caesar, where’d you go?”

Jack snorted, and Alexa looked at him. “What?” She asked.

“Caesar? Really?” Jack said, “For the toad?”

Alexa scanned the compartment and suddenly her eyes lit up. “Ah ha!” She said before leaping forward and throwing herself onto the floor. She reached out and grabbed the toad that was hiding in the crack between the chair and the door. She rolled over and sat back at her seat, her robes looking scuffed and slightly dusty as she held her toad in both hands in front of her.

Caesar let out a sad croak and looked rather put upon as Alexa presented it to the both of them.

“I’ll have you know that as toads go, he’s quite regal,” Alexa said to Jack in a fake haughty tone.

“Want to feel his slime?”

Jack and Ginny hesitated as Alexa just kept Caesar there, waiting for their response. Ginny cautiously reached out and poked the toad with one finger and the creature croaked softly. On feeling its skin with the tip of her finger, she quickly withdrew it and started shaking her hand.

“Ugh! Gross!”

Curious Jack reached out and touched the toad as well. He didn’t seem to mind as much, not flinching back like Ginny had done.

“Ah, C’mon Ginny. It’s not that bad,” Alexa protested, “Jack, back me up. Isn’t it sort of relaxing? Like putty or something.”

Jack shrugged, “It’s not that bad, I don’t think.”

Alexa put down Caesar who croaked and immediately hopped off to the place where he had been hiding before and settled back in.

Alexa looked at her hands that were dripping with sticky slime.

“Oh,” She said in disappointment, “I forgot about this part…”

Ginny giggled at the absurdity of the statement. Alexa’s eyes snapped from her eyes to Ginny. “Oh? I’ll get you, slime slime time!” She reached out towards Ginny with her slime coated hand reaching for Ginny’s hand. She snatched it back and scooted away, “Alexa!” She protested while still laughing a little, “Stop it!”

“Ooooh, slime incoming!” Alexa said as she leaned over the table to wave her hands at Ginny. Suddenly Ginny felt a poke on her upper arm and looked over shocked to see that Jack had just touched her with his slime coated finger and wiped it before retreating the offending finger. He gave her an awkward smile as he scooched away on the chair. “Got ya?” He said uncertainly.

“Avenge me, Alexa!” Ginny said, “Get him!”

Ignoring her prior target, Alexa leaned over and before Jack could react managed a gooey slap on his shoulder and smearing it on his robes.

“Yeah, Jack! That’s what you-” Ginny said, starting to get excited at the fun. Then Alexa changed course and twisted and smeared her other hand on Ginny’s robes too. She sat back to her side of the compartment and looked rather satisfied to see the two of them with slime on their shoulders and her hands much cleaner than before.

So… gross!

“Bleh, Bleh!” Ginny spat as she tried to wipe off the offending slime from her robes without much success. Jack was doing much the same. Alexa started laughing and after a moment the rest of them started laughing too. The tension and stress built up from what had just happened bursting all at once and making them laugh hard.

When Lupin came back, he was confused to find them all laughing, the chocolate forgotten. The mood dropped a bit on his return and they needed more chocolate again, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been before.

He talked with them for a bit, he was going to be the new Defense against the Dark arts teacher this year. The last one had been famous and left for better things after teaching for one year.

The train started moving again after checking last one time that they were feeling okay, Lupin left to wherever he had been staying before the Dementors appeared. Ginny kept talking with her new friends, and they clicked easily, their conversation flowing easily like nothing Ginny had ever felt before in her short life.