The small clearing they had found to speak privately in might just be the one Wei Wuxian had his melt down in only that morning but Wei Wuxian tries not to think about it. What matters is that no one will know to look for them in the woods and the clearing is close enough for only a short awkward walk but still far enough that Wei Wuxian is sure that no one will walk in on their private conversation.
The clearing itself is peaceful, with only the intermittent rustling leaves and the sounds of songbirds to interrupt them. The charged air between them is something Wei Ying had not expected. The tension feels very different from the one he has come to know and expect.
“Wei Ying”
“Lan Zhan”
He looks upset, and concerned. Everything about him is unsure. So different from the Lan Zhan he is used to seeing and his steadfast determination to have Wei Ying give up his unorthodox cultivation. But then again, Wei Wuxian knows he had not been paying enough attention to their interactions before- or he would have been able to predict a marriage proposal of all things.
Wei Ying nods and motions for Lan Zhan to speak.
“I heard from brother,. . . you are considering the marriage alliance.” It is not a Question, except that Wei Ying knows that it is. His youngerself would have read judgment in Lan Zhan's stony silence, but Wei Ying can see the crease of Lan Zhan's Brow and the stiffness in his shoulders as restrained hope and confusion.
Wei Wuxian nods again, feeling unsure about what he should say or do now that Lan Zhan is in front of him, waiting for him to speak. Even though he had made his decision, with the reality in front of him Wei Ying is afraid to continue.
Lan Zhan steps closer, his hand seeming to reach out to him before it settles back on Bichen's hilt. His grip on the hilt tightens. Wei Wuxian can see his knuckles grow paler by the moment.
“Wei Ying”
“Lan Zhan”
Lan Zhan huffs, but presses his lips together gazing intensely at Wei Wuxian, as if to hurry him into speaking first. Wei Wuxian would have laughed at the show of impatience except he is much too wound up to really find anything in their current situation funny.
“I won’t accept a political marriage," Wei Wuxian blurts out and Lan Zhan stiffens even more, eyes shuttering.
"Lan Zhan. I haven’t known the Lan to seek out political marriages but It’s not like I can just ignore all these people who are suddenly interested in me. Though this is the first marriage request. So this might be- a ridiculous question, I know- I mean how can I honestly expect something different but I thought maybe. Lan Zhan, you’ve always ignored me in the past- So I have to ask.”
Lan Zhan has practically turned to stone but Wei Wuxian can not stop the words from leaving his mouth.
“I have to be sure. I don’t want to marry someone who only sees me as part of their duty. I really can't accept that- especially not from you. I couldn't take that, Lan Zhan. I want- I need a partner. Someone who loves me and I love in return. So if you are only asking to marry me because you feel sorry for me or because your sect wants the seal-”
It takes him by surprise, and for a moment he is lost. confused as to just where and when he might be. The kiss is searing, hot and demanding, and Wei Wuxian is swept away by its need. He thinks he is blindfolded again, having his kiss stolen on Phoenix Mountain, but then he opens his eyes- eyes he did not remember closing- to the sight of long down turned coal black lashes on jade smooth skin, silky black hair and the unmistakable cloud patterned ribbon.
He feels his Legs go weak and Lan Zhan is there pressing Wei Wuxian harder against the rough uneven surface of a tree. 'When had they moved?' He wonders idly.
This is not his first kiss but, The Phoenix Mountain hunt has not happened yet. There has been no stolen kiss. There was no shy strong maiden, who's hands were just as strong, and trembled just as sweetly. The unmistakable scent of clean sweat and sandalwood, surrounds him and reminds him of safety on endless battlefields. Wei Wuxian feels a fool, but he is also dreadfully grateful. Though he will never be able to ask now. The answer lost to time, but he knows. He is sure. And this will be their first Kiss. His first kiss.
“Lan Zhan?” He practically pants, surprised to hear his voice sound so breathless and so needy.
Lan Zhan is gone, having set a surprising amount of distance between them in such a short time, or maybe Wei Wuxian had been too dazed to notice. Wei Wuxian is still leaning on the tree for support, mind hazy with lust. His eyes are clear enough to see Lan Zhan bowed deeply before him. “Apologies. I have overstepped.”
Wei Ying looks down at this unbelievable man, mind still reeling from the realization that he had been so wrong in his past life. He takes in a long breath to settle himself. As he walks over to his old friend he takes in his tight posture and down-turned eyes, his red ears and bruised lips. That look of confused anger- Wei Ying recognizes. He can't help the small happy laugh that escapes him.
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Lan Zhan's guilty eyes meet his, as Wei Ying closes the distance between them. “I don’t care, you can overstep all you want,” Wei Wuxian says as he pulls Lan Zhan to a standing position.
“Wei Ying?”
“I really like you Lan Zhan, I want to be with you- when I got the letter I thought. - I wasn’t sure. I had thought for the longest time that you didn't want that- especially not with me - but then I thought maybe it was just the Lan sect making you- but then I couldn't believe Lan Xichen would do that to you but- you have been so angry- I couldn't believe-No, Lan Zhan is too good ...and I thought you hated me.”
“No- never. Wei Ying is good. I was worried. I like Wei Ying. Want Wei Ying. Love Wei Ying"
“Yes, Lan Zhan”
“Wei Ying”
And before he knows anything else, all he knows is Lan Zhan, his strong warm body pressing against his, thickly muscled arms holding him close, hot mouth and tongue plundering his mouth, long graceful fingers tangling in his hair.
Lan Zhan's heat and the thrum of strong clean spiritual energy simmer closer to the surface of Lan Zhan skin. It calls to him, to the aching abused mostly hollow core of him. It is that familiar feeling that reminds Wei Ying that there is still more he needs to tell Lan Zhan before they can go any further. The center of him aching to respond to Lan Zhan’s power, as it would have, had he still been whole.
“Lan Zhan- wait. Oh- gods. Lan Zhan- yes-No! I mean Wait, I- Lan Zhan you shameless man!” Wei Wuxian practically squeaks when he feels Lan Zhan pull back and as his hands settle low on Wei Ying’s hips, more accurate to say Lan Zhan is practically fondling his ass.
“Mhm, apologies for taking liberties,” Lan Zhan says, he does not, however, move his hands or look particularly apologetic.
Wei Ying can’t help the giggles that escape him at seeing Lan Zhan say something like that with such a stoic face, even as he continues on in his errant way.
He smiles, a small soft thing, Wei Ying has only ever seen twice before, one he fears might not happen again.
“Lan Zhan” Wei Ying starts and stops again. His throat closing around the words he has held back for so long. He can feel himself begin to shake. Lan Wangji raises his hand from the swell of Wei Wuxian's ass to wrap more securely around Wei Wuxian's waist, hoping to lend comfort.
Wei Wuxian leans in closer, resting his head on Lan Wangji's shoulder. “I need your word. Promise me you won't tell anyone, Lan Zhan, please.” Wei Ying pleads.
“I promise, Wei Ying”
He stays wrapped in Lan Wangji's arms as he tries to work out where to start. After several more moments of silence he settles on the most important part of it.
“I have no golden core” Is Wei Ying's broken whisper.
Lan Zhan's hold tightens almost painfully before loosening to a firm comforting embrace. “Wen Zhuliu.”
“Ah..” It would be easier to agree. Lan Zhan was not asking a question, only explaining his conclusion. A likely one most would come to, but Wei Wuxian can’t bring himself to lie to Lan Zhan about the reason he might no longer be able to be his cultivation partner.
“No,I ... I gave it away.”
“Wei Ying?” An inflection of confusion more than anything else.
“You can’t tell him. But- after Lotus Pier. Jiang Cheng he ... “ Wei Ying's voice trails off, unable to finish his story.
“Baoshan Sanren.” Lan Zhan finishes for him. Understanding dawning on him even as he speaks the name aloud.
“How?... -He told you?”
“Hm, when we searched for you. He… He doesn’t know?”
“No, he never would have agreed.”
Lan Zhan Pulls Wei Ying into his arms fully and buries his face into his hair. “Wei Ying is too good, too selfless. Wangji has been too blind.” He can feel the small tremors that rock Lan Zhan's body and horrifyingly, can feel soft droplets fall on the bear exposed skin of his neck. Lan Zhan is crying.
“Lan Zhan- No, it's not- I didn't want you to know. I pushed you away. Lan Zhan. I will understand if you can't marry a commoner like me. I know that the Lan were expecting someone -"
"No. Love Wei Ying. It does not matter if Wei Ying has a core. I will not marry anyone but Wei Ying" Lan Zhan assures him.
"Are you sure?"
"Mn" is Lan Zhan's reply as he pulls Wei Ying close. In his arms, Wei Ying can feel Lan Zhan's rapid heartbeat thrumming just below the surface of his skin. the resentful energy still clogging his meridians roiling in an odd mix of interest and apprehension. "Will only ever be Wei Ying."
"There is still a chance... I could cultivate normally again. But Lan Zhan, even if I can cultivate normally again, I don't want to stop learning more about resentful energy. How I use resentful energy is not like other cultivators have in the past. There is so much we could do and so many people we could help if cultivators had tried to understand resentful energy better. There could be so many spirits that might not have needed to be exterminated and removed from the cycle of reincarnation." Wei Wuxian feels Lan Zhan tense.
Lan Zhan pulls away so he can look into Wei Ying's eyes as he speaks. "Wangji understands. Wangji will not stop Wei Ying from helping others, or Wei Ying from going where he wishes. But If Wangji can stay by Wei Ying's side, and help Wei Ying in all he does. That is all Wangji would ask for."
Wei Ying looks into Lan Zhan's worried face, and listens to the man's modest request. notes the moisture still collected in Lan Zhan's long lashes even now and the stark red rim of his eyes. Wei Wuxian wipes away the stray tears. He remembers Wen Qing's words and wonders at what he had missed his first time around because of how he had refused to look. "Ah my Lan Zhan is too good to me.”
He leans into Lan Zhan. “What will you tell your brother.”
“The truth. Wei Ying’s cultivation was greatly damaged after the fall of Lotus Pier and might not be recoverable. And that Wei Ying believes in furthering understanding of resentful energy for the betterment of upholding our responsibility of protecting the people and widening the base of our cultivation knowledge”
"Ah Lan Zhan, you brazen liar." Wei Wuxian Laughs.
"Not A lie, Wei Ying is allowed to keep his concerns private." Is Lan Zhan's stubborn reply.
"Lan Zhan, why even bother telling Lan Xichen anything?"
"Brother is a Sect Leader and should know of any possible ...complications but he does not need more than that. He will understand Wei Ying's need to keep his matters private. The war is over but peace still waits for more stability. "
"Alright,... But I need Wen Qing. She is my doctor. the best when it comes to golden cores."
"Mhm, ... I will let brother know."
Wei Ying breathes in deeply, taking in the unexpected turn this new life has taken. It is far from what he had expected but better than anything he had planned on. This decision will changed things drastically and sooner than expected Wei Wuxian will not be able to used the information from is last time around but even so Wei Wuxian feels hopeful. This time he will take care to live this life for himself as well.
"Lan Zhan, Lan Er-gege"
"Mn"
"Future husband"
"Wei Ying"
"A-Zhan, take me back to your tent."