Sorry been lazy this last year, not gonna ever drop this project, just gonna make it perfect, and that's gonna take a lot of time. Enjoy the read.

----------------------------------------

I press my back against the door closing it, slowly sliding down I fall to the floor, my hair's a mess and my face is stuck at the same expression of utter disbelief I had when the doctor told me the news. I came back from the hospital straight to my brother's house, I can't believe it, I had just talked to him, he was right there, why? I just can't accept it! Why!?

I sat there, frozen by the door until I could process the whole situation; he's dead, my brother is dead, I won't be able to talk to him anymore, he won't get angry, he won't smile, he won't cry, he won't move, he won't... Uaaaaa!!! Tears started coming off my eyes, I just couldn't believe it, but he laid before me, in the hospital bed, unmoving, dead.

He fainted in the ambulance because of blood loss, they tried to keep him alive by covering the wound and stopping the blood from flowing but the bullet had pierced his stomach and the blood just wouldn't stop spilling out, his heart had already stopped when he reached the hospital. When I arrived he was dead.

Still crying I get up and take my shoes off, tripping when I try to walk. Supporting myself on the wall I somehow get to his room, there I throw myself in his bed and continue crying while hugging his pillow until I no longer have the energy to cry. He knew he was dying, but I don't understand, what did he mean?

<<“Hey... hah... this is going to get me into the hospital... hah... make sure to clean my lab... hah... hah... I also have a gift for you... the instructions are on top of the desk... hah... I meant to give it to you tomorrow as a small celebration... hah... hah... hah... but I think it's better for you to get it out now.... also... I'm sorry for fighting with you this morning.”>>

The lab? No, before that, why did he apologize for the fight? Wait, no, why did I fight with him? I shouldn't have done it! If I hadn't we would not have gone out, why!?

<<“It's not your fault...”>>

If he tells me that, who can I blame? Fate? Him? The murderer? If I can’t blame myself then who should I blame? I... what should I do?

<<“The instructions are on top of the desk...”>>

I should go to the lab... I got up with a newfound purpose, I didn't care how I looked, neither did I care about the tears that blurred my vision; even if I couldn't look straight ahead of me I could still walk, though I say that, the truth is that I couldn't walk, really I had barely any energy left to shed tears.

What I did was closer to pulling my body, grabbing onto everything I could, trying to put the least amount of weight on my feet. Somehow I managed to get to his lab, I could barely distinguish the file on top of his desk, and I don’t know how I read the last word on its title: “Dead”. That woke me up; I opened my eyes wide and wiped off the tears letting my red eyes see the rest of the title; “When I'm Dead”.

Without letting the words set on my mind I quickly opened the bundle of papers and started reading, it had a nostalgic feeling, the way everything was placed together, the nostalgic font my brother always used, the same writing style, it screamed: My brother wrote this! But the title was too ominous...

<

1. If you don't know anybody called Jahad you should put this down immediately and leave it where you found it.

2. If you know me but I am still alive do the same, I can assure you I won't be happy if I find you reading this.

3. If you are a lawyer you can save a lot of time by going to the last two pages, the rest of this text is just mindless chatter.

Now, to my dear reader, I am extremely sorry for your loss, because you did abide by my rules right? Before going into the main topic I must first explain the history of this file you have on your hands, this is something I started writing because I read too many books, so if this makes you feel worse, please throw it in the fire, why didn’t I destroy it when I could?

Else if you find it helpful, please share it; I knew keeping it safe was the right choice. So this document’s story is something like this; after reading too many reincarnations stories I started thinking about how would I fare if I’m reincarnated, I’m sure I wouldn’t fare well, but then I thought about those left behind and I realized that you, the ones left behind, would be the ones who’d end up felling the worst.

So I wrote this, in order to help you overcome my death, I also thought that this was a bad idea and a stupid thing to do, but if you have it in your hands, followed all the rules and are glad to be reading it, then it was the right choice to write it.

I took up three situations for me to comfort you about:

The first one is if my death was fast, and I couldn't say anything to anyone, because I still have to list the other two I will be going in depth in pages 3 to 5.

The second one is if my death was slow, by sickness, an accident, whatever, but you weren't present, or I wasn’t able to say anything, because of the same reason as the above, you should go to pages 5 to 8 if you want to be comforted about that.

The third one, is the one I think as the most painful and cruel, and that's a fast death, where I can't say anything or almost nothing to you, and because of my OCD it'll be talked about from page 8 and forth.

There is also a fourth one, but I won't talk about it, because I should've already talked with you if I had a slow death with you present. >>

He’s something else; the tears that I thought had long since dried up broke free like water from a dam and flowed endlessly. I knew he was amazing, my brother was special, he could still make me cry and laugh even after he’s gone… I… can I really live without him?

No! That's too depressing I thought shaking my head. Page eight, page eight... here it is.

<

Even if I had enough time I doubt making a smile in such a situation is possible, you must be a pretty important person for me to discard all my sadness and pain and smile at you, to make you feel better, so feel important if I did, because there won't be a next time, you should enjoy your life.

So you hold your head up high, even more so if you are my little sister, unless I died in a really stupid way you, should proudly state our relationship, I am your brother, and I am proud of it, I will forgive you for crying, for being unable to say anything that makes sense to anyone for a day, but if it carries on, I will go back on my words, because even if you continue crying for me, my sister must be strong enough to carry on.>>

I couldn't properly hold the document, so I took the papers with me and went back to his room, there I laid on his bed and holding his will close to my heart I cried myself to sleep.

<

-Jahad>>

I dreamt of him, of good and bad times, happy and sad moments, things that made me cry, and things that made me laugh. When I woke up it was five in the afternoon, I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and I was hungry so I went to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. Taking it back to his room I ate it while crying, I didn't know what to do, so

I continued reading from where I left off.

While I was reading I laughed, I cried, and I got angry at him, but it was refreshing and once I had finished I knew what to do, because my brother was the best brother I know of, and he knew exactly how to make me feel better. But because I was his amazing sister, I wasn't going to follow his recommendation; I was going to surpass it in every possible way.

So I took up my phone and called.

<<--->>

She was too annoying so after flying away from the town I let her down and threatened her to make sure she didn't escape. It took her awhile to understand she wouldn’t be freed any time soon, but thankfully once she did she finally shut up. It was wonderful; you really don't know how annoying it is to have a human screaming for minutes!

“Finally, can you tell me what newborns eat?” I don't know why she didn't answer and instead looked baffled at me, like an idiot. Though maybe she is, that makes sense, how else would she be unable to answer such a simple question? She isn’t mute for sure. It must be an intelligence problem. “A baby, you know, those little ugly things that then grow up to become humans like you.”

“B-but why does a dragon want to...”

“Do I need a reason for everything I do? Answer me!”

“Hii-!”

“Oh, shut up, you’ve already been annoying enough.” She nodded, good, if not I would start thinking that maybe bringing a man would've been better, thankfully I don’t have to go get someone again.

“Don't they drink milk?”

“Would I be asking you if I knew? You are not very smart are you?” I looked at her accusingly. “And what do I need to kill to get this 'milk'?”

“N-nothing, it comes out from h-here.” She said pointing at her breast.

“So it'll be enough if I kill you and take it out right?”

“N-n-no, i-it’s better if I-I am alive.” She was really scared, but I wasn't going to kill her anyway, don’t want to try my luck on getting another human willing to help if something goes wrong.

“Hmm, then I'll need to take you there... hah, I may consider letting you off if you shut up for the rest of the ride.” Her eyes opened wide in terror when I approached her and took off, panicking she held her mouth as to not scream, but I didn't feel like being considerate with her after all that screaming so I didn't slow down at all.

<<--->>

As soon as I opened my eyes I had to close them again because the wind made dust enter my eyes, hurriedly wiping my eyes I looked at the perpetrator, I had seen it before, but this time he came with company. To me this company was a great thing, but it didn't seem to think so, being kidnapped doesn't seem too fun.

Do dragons have a culture of kidnapping? They do say that clichés have some logical foundation, but she looks nothing like a princess, guess such a thing is pretty uncommon, but so does a dragon kidnapping someone… anyway I’m hungry, and this woman is quite good at ignoring me, wait, a baby breastfeeds, right? Oh my…

<<--->>

“Please let me go!” How annoying, I thought she was done with it, really, when will she stop resisting?

“I'll let you go after you feed him so shut up already! How many more times are you going to annoy me!?” She's getting on my nerves, really, just finish this fast; I want to get rid of you!

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

She finally looked at the baby, really, can anyone be more stupid? I brought you here for this.

“What is a baby doing in here? Where did you steal him from?” She said turning around, she was really angry. Is this what they call motherly instinct? She’s really good at getting on my nerves; let me praise you human, it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to kill someone so bad. Endure, endure, I need to feed him first, don't put the cart before the horse, if I kill her now it's just going to become more annoying. Another human? There’s no way I’m going through all that again.

She's still glaring at me, really, where is she taking all this courage from? I doubt it is just her motherly instinct; after all she was just cowering in fear all the way till here. “I just found him here, kidnapping people is not my hobby, I just need you to feed him, after that you can just go away.” I need to make this clear to her, else she's just going to become more and more annoying.

“Then what are you going to do after I feed him? Eat him? There's no need for you to feed him this once, he's just going to get hungry again.”

“Once you show me how I can just feed him by myself! ...And feed him already, he's starving!” I'm angry, really angry; can't she see that he's starving?

But at least she's going to feed him now. She picked him up with one hand and used the other to open her dress at the chest area. Why does she need to do that? Humans are strange creatures...

<<--->>

Breathe in, breathe out, list primes, Fibonacci numbers, I'm a baby, I'm a baby, there's no need to mind the small stuff, I need food to live, this is just eating... yeah, it doesn't help, I never thought that this could be such a problematic thing, I'll just close my eyes and let nature take its course, all humans have done this once, there’s nothing to be ashamed of… yeah, I better learn to erase my memory soon.

Seeing there was no other option I just gave in; no more complaining, I just need to finish this fast. But really how lucky, there was a woman nearby who was lactating, how probable is that? I think the dragon is intelligent enough to bring a woman, but the chances of her having already given birth to a child, and even more, lactating should be pretty low.

Seeing her clothes I can determine that the society is quite underdeveloped, either that or it is a more modern one, but she especially is very poor. I’m sure of this because the clothes are made almost without cutting the cloth at all, trying to waste as little as possible, but because she doesn’t seem to have nutrition problems then I have to discard the last option.

I can probably compare the style to something from the VI or VII century. So this really is a medieval fantasy world.

How cliché can this be? Transported to a medieval swords and magic world, no, if I'm a baby then it should be a reincarnation... I really should consider my own situation; I’ve been ignoring it until now.

Who am I? No… I know who I am... I am... me... slow... was my mind... always so... slow…? No, I am... tired... right... after you eat... you sleep...

<<--->>

He fell asleep, was he really that tired? He looked pretty energetic for me... maybe she put him to sleep!? No... It’s something else, it's different, he's smart, though something did surprise him he wasn't against it, he knows, he's smart. Somehow, I’m sure of that, but I also think that he should not be so smart, he's strange.

But that's what makes him so interesting...

Slowly he closed his eyes; still, he continued sucking for a minute after that. His face was ugly, I really wouldn't have picked him up for his looks, but his eyes were different. I can't forget them, brown, deep brown, dark eyes, almost black, or where they black? That glint of curiosity in them that made me hesitate.

Either way, they charmed me, stole my soul away, they were just that beautiful. Now that they were closed I could finally stare somewhere else. He was really ugly, like a meatball, no eyebrows no hair, a small nose, skin full of wrinkles, he wasn't really fat, but I couldn’t call him pretty.

The contrast between his ugly body and pretty eyes just made him more beautiful, what had he seen? What did he know? Those eyes showed wisdom I haven't seen in humans, but that doesn't mean I haven’t seen them before; a madman they called him, and I fully agree, no one else has lived among dragons, no human at least, I quite fancied him.

Of course, no one took him seriously, but in his eyes I could see endless curiosity, and his words expressed more wisdom than anyone I've known, I was even tempted to think that he wasn’t crazy, just that everyone else was, I shared that thought with him, but he kindly denied me; if he wasn’t mad, the who could ever be?

He convinced me then, but now I’m not sure, had he still been alive, would he be the madman, or would this baby, that from birth had eyes brimming with wisdom, surpass him? I have no idea, but with time, it'll come to light. Then again, that madman's end was at the hands of humans, they turned against him because he lived with dragons for most of his life, they said he was evil, a demon who hid himself...

I narrowed my eyes realizing the truth; I didn't want to be rough with her as she had helped me, but she can't see his eyes, not until he can hide what’s behind them, not until he knows what it means to know. So I creeped closer and placed my claws on his tender skin, pulling him slowly away from her, I was careful as to not hurt him, but he almost slipped away because of my nervousness.

She tried to take him back, something made him charming, and people liked him, that's good, he'll be able to hide his eyes, but he can't be taught by anyone but me; he needs to know about his eyes, about the world, I can't allow her to take care of him. He'll be mine, mine until he becomes boring.

I won't allow her or anyone to touch what's mine, not anymore, it is too dangerous... what if he breaks?

<<--->>

When I woke up I was being held between three big rocks, at least that was what I thought when I first saw the dragon's arms. They were scales of course, but in the darkness where I couldn’t make out their beautiful deep burgundy. Thankfully I didn’t dream, because I’m sure it would probably turn into a nightmare halfway through.

Right now I need to know what I want to do, it's difficult to decide because the only thing that I can think of is; “I don't want to die.” This only tells me that my recent death wasn’t simple, then again I can’t remember anything about it so neither do I know if it was recent, or brutal for all that matters.

I can remember about Meursault, and how I could relate to him, I remember about anything, but myself, because each time I try to recall, my head just can’t think anymore, it gets stuck, it hurts, and I can’t remember. But again, it doesn’t matter, nothing really matters, what do I exist for? I can at least remember the answer I came to;

My answer comes from my knowledge of biology, it isn’t that extensive, but neither is it small. As a species we humans live, to procreate and let the next generation take over, yet we actively sought to live more and more and now we have to find something to live for, else our life becomes just too long.

We got to this point by eliminating everything that became a threat, animals, hostile environments, bugs, funnily enough that came back to bite us, pretty soon, global warming is destroying habitable zones, and viruses and bacteria are becoming stronger each time we cure one.

Thankfully to me it doesn’t matter, I’m not there anymore, the skies are clear, nature is thriving, and I can develop technology in such a way that it doesn’t have to happen again. In the end it has no importance, that’s my answer; you are alive for no reason at all, so do what you want, give it a reason yourself.

The dragon opened his eyes, did I wake him up? Though I did try to be as quiet as possible, I think that robbing one of these dragons must be way more difficult than how they make it look in the fairytales, there’s no way you can come near one that’s sleeping so lightly. He must have a very keen sense of danger. Then, how did it notice me? I’m not dangerous, at least to him, I think. Maybe he just wasn’t sleeping. Was he worried about me? How cute.

[Growl~]

Tha-That wasn’t me! Ok, it was totally me, I’m so sorry; I’m a baby so I can’t control it! Please don’t eat me! I thought covering my eyes with both hands but through the gaps in between my fingers I could see that he only blinked twice in response. It seems I’m not going to be his food… yet. I don’t want to raise my hopes too high.

He seemed to ponder for a while… are you going to kidnap another woman? Please tell me you’re not, it’s going to become part of my dark history if that continues for too long. Though it seems I’m screwed anyway, a baby’s lactating period is about ten months, if I remember correctly it can vary between six and twenty four months, maybe even reaching three years?

I can’t really remember much. But that means I’ll spend about three hundred days being breastfed, a woman or various being kidnapped for ten months, yeah, I’m sure it will raise suspicions. Hopefully he has already thought that far ahead. If not we are in deep trouble, I don’t want to meet an angry subjugation party coming over here and killing me and the dragon instantly.

Suddenly I had to cover my eyes, the dragon shined brightly for a moment. Am I going to be burned to death because he finally realized how troublesome babies are!? Hopefully I’m mistaken. Wait; He was a she! Never noticed… Hey, me! Stop trying to escape from reality!

Quick recap: I was thinking then the dragon shined and suddenly there was a naked woman in front of me. What can this mean? Instant teleportation? /tp? Or did he, ahem, she just magically changed her body? That actually seems plausible.

Magic… how many meanings does this word have? How many more meanings will it have for me? I knew from the moment I saw the giant lizard I decided to call dragon, that this wasn’t my former world, but I knew about, both mammals and reptiles, that had flown, so I could still deny magic, but here it is, right in front of my eyes.

Seeing is believing they say; so this is what it meant. Never have I ever been denying anything the same way I’ve done it with magic; I’ve been doing it for my whole life, I know for a fact that it is because I couldn’t use magic that I started liking mechanical things, I wanted to create something magical.

It seems like this lifetime I’ll be able to do it, maybe even develop it into a hobby that’ll numb my heart from all the pain I feel, so that someday I’ll remember who I am, but it doesn’t seem to be today, nor any day soon. Who was I?

But now that I think about it; should I really think of myself as someone with amnesia? Am I not someone else? This is not my world. Wrong, this is not that world.