As I walk along the stream, I mull over what I know about magic.

The articles I’d read weren’t exactly step-by-step guides. “Complex quantum effects in the human brain may trigger wave function collapses in dark matter when conditions are right,” they claimed. “Preliminary tests suggest that some rare individuals can use dark matter as a medium to trigger entanglement.”

Great, just what I needed—a thesis that I barely understand. And here I was thinking all I need is just to imagine something happening.

In my dream, all I had to do was imagine the result I wanted. Just picture silicon molecules separating from sand, crystallizing into a lattice—and boom. It happened. Reality should work the same way, right? Need to heat up something? Just imagine the atoms vibrating at a higher frequency. Sadly, when I try this it does absolutely nothing.

I try everything: waving my hands, squinting real hard, whispering “abracadabra”—nothing works. Maybe this body’s defective, or maybe my brain just isn’t wired for this.

After what feels like forever with zero progress on the magic front, my stomach growls, reminding me of another pressing issue. I catch sight of something in the clay: a tiny animal footprint. Food. Finally. I remember something from those bushcraft videos about trapping small animals. Find a well-worn path, tie a loop, and you’re golden. Sounds easy, right?

You’re supposed to tie a string to a bendy branch or a young tree and then the other end is made into a loop which you leave on the trail and somehow attach it? Alright, let’s try that. I still have plenty of time today so I should be able to both start a fire and make some traps.

I walked into the forest searching for some bark or grass that could be fastened into something resembling a string. Making sure I didn’t lose track of the stream I combed through the forest and collected a few promising materials.

I started twisting them together to make some cordage “Ah crap. They make it look really easy in the videos.” everything was falling apart and even after an hour of experimenting. I only had a small piece of barely usable string, but I ran out of materials. I collected more and then spent another hour trying to figure out how to splice my existing string with a new one. Finally I had to remake it from scratch but after two more hours of hard work I managed to create enough cordage for the trap.

“Finally! Woo! Survival TV stars eat shit! No shoes, no tools, and definitely no camera crew. Just me, myself, and a whole lot of ‘oh crap.’” I hopped around excitedly, holding my piece of string in the air. Only then did I realize that in my focus I kind of lost track of time. It wasn’t dark yet, but the sun was definitely not high up anymore. Best guess, two more hours of light? “Damn. I need to set up fire as well…” I quickly set up the trap on the animal trail and started searching for things I needed for fire.

“Alright, so first some kindling.” After half an hour I had a small pile of dry grass, bark and little branches stacked up. I decided to camp under the roots of a tree that was turned over—this way I would have protection against the wind at least from one side.

Next I found a thin but sturdy stick to use as a fire drill and dragged over a piece of tree trunk that was split in the middle and offered a flat surface. I spent the next half an hour fashioning more cordage and finally I had a bow drill. I roughly remembered what to do so I started right away and drilled into the wood, trying to create some embers using friction from the fire drill.

After a whole lot of failing, I failed even harder—the cordage snapped. I try to fix the string with the last remaining materials, but the sun has already set so I can’t even see what I’m doing.

“God dammit!” I’m frustrated but I won’t give up so easily.

Guess I’m going manual. Hands aching, I drill the stick into the base until my arms are shaking and blisters burn on my palms.

In the pitch black, I lose all sense of time. Why the hell did survival videos make this look so easy?

Still nothing. Finally, I slump down, defeated. Guess tonight’s theme is “frozen and frustrated.”

With my exhausted arms and sore hands I can’t continue, so I lay down on the cold ground and hope to survive the night.

The exercise of trying to start a fire kept me warm before, but now I started shivering with cold, my teeth keep chattering violently.

Brrr... Thermogenesis, right? I mumble through chattering teeth. Just burn a little ATP and it will keep me warm enough to survive. Probably. God, I’d kill for a blanket. Or central heating.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

My body shudders as the cold sinks into my bones, reminding me that I’m not in some climate-controlled office. This is survival, stripped of all comforts.

My consciousness drifted off here and there but I wasn’t sure if I really managed to fall asleep through the night.

When the first rays of the sun illuminated the gloomy forest, I sighed in relief. Even though I was exhausted and sore from the cold night, I managed to survive. I stretched a bit to get some blood flowing and went to drink some water. Then I checked the trap and to my astonishment there was a rabbit! “Holy shit! I had no idea that this would actually work!” I approached the rabbit cautiously, its paw was stuck in the noose and it was dangling in the air.

As it saw me it started trying to get out furiously so I quickly grabbed it behind its neck.

“Uuh… What now?” I never went hunting before and this is the first time I planned on eating meat—an animal—that didn’t come prepackaged in a supermarket.

“I’ll have to kill it, won’t I?” The thought makes my stomach turn. I’ve never killed anything bigger than a mosquito before. Even when I found a spider in my room I would put it on a piece of paper and release it outside. Sure, I’m starving, but looking down at the little rabbit struggling in the trap… it hits different.

I stand there, frozen, debating. It’s either this or I starve. My breath is ragged; my hands shake. It’s just an animal, I tell myself.

After a long, heavy pause, I raise my stick and bring it down. The rabbit twitches once, then goes still. No blood. Just limp silence.

My chest tightens. “Sorry, little guy.”

“Damn… I really don’t have the right kind of mentality for this hero business do I?” Ha. Well it’s not like I’m much of a hero, naked in a forest, unable to even start a fire so I don’t freeze at night… I pushed away the self deprecating thoughts and focused on survival again.

“Thank you little buddy, I’ll make sure you don’t go to waste.” I took the rabbit, reset the trap and went back to my improvised tree root shelter. I left the carcass there and went looking for more cordage materials.

After creating some more string I fashioned another bow drill and started working on lighting a fire again. My experience from the previous night proved useful and this time it only took me ten minutes to get an ember. I quickly transferred it to a bundle of kindling and after a while I had a roaring fire next to me.

“YEEEEAH!! WHO’S THE FIRE BENDER NOW BITCH!” I shouted into the sky and added more and more wood to the blazing fire. After so much struggle this little success felt invigorating. The warmth from the fire melted the soreness from my body and I instantly felt better.

I was still hungry though.

I looked at the rabbit and decided on a plan. Right. First you have to bleed the animal. I didn’t have a knife but I was pretty sure I could make something using two rocks. I walked back to the stream, found some good rocks and after a while of bashing them together I managed to split one of them. The edge was very sharp so it should suffice. Human ancestors started using these rudimentary stone tools millions of years back, so it would be embarrassing not to be able to do this much. I walked back, hung the rabbit from a branch, and severed its arteries. A ton of blood immediately started flowing out.

I was a bit disgusted by the sight so I averted my sight and enjoyed the warmth of the fire, while trying to figure out how to skin a rabbit.

Lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice anything until a voice spoke behind me.

“Well, well, well… What’s a little girl like you doing out here all alone, eh?” a gruff female voice snickered behind me. I startled and jumped to my feet and quickly spun around. Then I realized I didn’t pick up my wooden stick so I awkwardly crouched again, picked it up and held it defensively in front of me.

There were two people dressed in sturdy clothes, a woman holding a bow and a man with a spear. The woman was grinning at me wickedly, like looking at a helpless prey that just stumbled into her lap. The man had a disinterested stoic face, not revealing any emotions.

I stared at them dumbfounded, then realizing I’m naked in front of these strangers I tried to cover myself up. Halfway through covering my breasts and crotch I realized I’m holding the stick and hesitated, unsure whether to protect my dignity or life. Life won over, so I snapped my hands back into a defensive posture and glared at them.

The woman noticed my movements and laughed at my embarrassment “Hahaha. You’re just a little kitten… Are you lost? Oh, but what a lovely meal you have there, mind sharing a bit with us?” she grinned. Dammit that’s just my luck isn’t it? Meeting some thugs or bandits when I finally manage to do something right.

I looked at the bow in the woman’s hands and the spear wielded by the gruff man. Yeah… This isn’t going to end well if we fight. I’m starving after the cold night but there’s absolutely no way I can fight them off.

“I—I...” My voice cracks, but before I can string together a coherent thought, the air shifts. The forest goes dead silent, and a chill runs down my spine.

And then, a roar splits the silence, echoing off the trees.

The woman turns, her sneer dropping as the beast lumbers into view. It’s massive, a twisted blend of bear and tiger, with red eyes and a gaping maw.

The beast's massive body barrels forward, muscles rippling under its fur. It’s pure, primal terror staring me in the face. I’m so screwed. My mind races, and in the back of my head, all I can think is—death awaits with nasty, big, pointy teeth!

For a second I was astonished how even in such a crisis my mind goes to a Monty Python reference. However this defensive mechanism doesn’t help at all, because the situation is clear—unless that monster is weak to sarcasm, I’m royally screwed.

The beast charges, and suddenly, we’re all locked in a deadly three-way. Not exactly the kind of threeway I was hoping for.