I stumble backward, my hands flying to my chest. The cold reality hits me like a slap: This isn't my body—it's a woman’s. That damned mage turned me into a girl, for fuck’s sake!

And I have no idea how to fix it.

No, let’s not fall into despair just yet. She said I’d be able to use magic, so surely I can turn myself back into a man? Or maybe return back to my timeline and into my original body? Now that I think about it... what happened to it? Is my original body dead? Did it become a mindless vegetable?

My heart is racing from all this, so I steady my breathing and slap myself a few times to regain composure. I look down again—two boobs are staring back at me, their size like that frustrating middle point where a medium drink is too small, but you don’t quite want to commit to a large one. Wide hips, thin waist, and completely flawless skin. It’s like this body was sculpted to perfection—it would put even AI-generated art to shame.

“And I don’t even have extra fingers!” Wait, that's exactly what this is, isn’t it? Allena said she created the body and kept making... improvements? I sigh in disbelief. “So she can create a perfect bombshell body but can’t even fucking notice she’s putting a man into it?!”

My shock, frustration, and pent-up emotions are transformed into anger.

“FUCK YOU ALLENA! WHY DID YOU PUT ME HERE!” I shout into the sky outside. The feminine voice escaping my lips makes me even more frustrated. I tremble with rage at the injustice. “And you even let all the treasure I was promised get destroyed!” I hit the wall with my fist in anger—

“Oww!” An annoyingly adorable yelp comes out of my mouth.

I grit my teeth in frustration, but the pain brings a bit of clarity, and a sudden realization hits me. “Wait… It might not necessarily be destroyed. It might be at the bottom of the ravine.”

I approach the edge where the open door meets thin air. A gaping chasm stares at me, at least a hundred meters deep, but the bottom is hidden in darkness, so I can’t even be sure if it goes deeper.

“Well... Fat lot of good that does me. But if there’s even a sliver of hope that all that magic knowledge down there can get me out of this mess... I have to try.”

I don’t see how I would be able to get down there in my current naked and useless state, but maybe if I learn some magic it will be possible. Staring at the deep chasm fills me with anxiety—like only suffering awaits below—but that’s probably because it reminds me of Made in Abyss.

I shake my head and take a few deep breaths to clear my mind. Right. Okay. At least I’m in a body capable of magic, right? So that’s an improvement.

“I mean... maybe I should start looking for a level-up screen? Isn’t that how it works? C’mon, system, give me my stats... show me where I can put my points in ‘not dying.’”

Over the course of the next ten minutes, I proceed to say variations of “Status, Appraisal, Level Up,” but nothing works.

...Nothing happens.

This better not be a Dark Souls level of difficulty. I’m not prepared to ‘git gud’ right now. And now I’m wondering if I’ll get to see the classic “You died” screen.

“SHUT UP BRAIN! I’M TRYING TO BE POSITIVE!”

Let’s just focus on survival for now and stop thinking about everything else. I look back at the room where I began my new life. Except for an engraved circle in the middle of the room and the crystal lying on the ground, it’s absolutely empty. Nevertheless, I enter back into the room and thoroughly search it, all the while trying not to think about the two orbs swinging on my chest.

I find absolutely nothing in the room, and without any shoes, the cold metal floor is making my feet numb. “Looks like I have no option but to go outside butt naked, unless the option of staying here and starving to death is preferable.”

Looking outside the door does not really fill me with hope—a whole lot of rocks and a clear blue sky. Looks like the door opens inside the ravine around twenty meters from the surface. On each side, there’s only a craggy granite wall promising a long fall with just a single mistake.

My friends forced me to go climbing with them once or twice, but I’ve never been into it much. And now my life might depend on the experiences I’ve learned from two climbing sessions.

I look down the ravine and tremble from the sudden anxiety. “I’m actually gonna have to do this, aren’t I?”

Don’t look down, don’t look down. I keep repeating this like a mantra, but even so, it still takes me 10 minutes to psych myself up. Remember—three points of contact, like on a ladder.

I hesitantly lower my legs onto a thin ledge below the door until both my hands and feet are supported by the granite stone. I look up and see the little room I was staying in—it’s a flat metal surface, partially covered by the surrounding rock. Looks like it used to be part of a larger underground complex before the ground caved in. I slowly traverse sideways so I don’t have to climb over smooth metal and start climbing up, one hold at a time. The stone is slightly damp, so I have to be careful not to slip, and my bare feet already hurt from the sharp edges.

My mind is clear and I focus only on the climb, not allowing the thoughts of falling or the abyss below me to scare me. Three meters, four... I look up, but the ground level is still high above me.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

I climb, inching upward—until my foot slips.

“FUCK!” My hands scrabble against the rock, holding on for dear life as my feet dangle in the air. I look down for a foothold, and the bottomless chasm below me spikes my anxiety to new levels. There is absolutely no way I could ever survive a fall like that. Such thoughts are running through my head, and my chest feels like it’s gonna explode with panic. Finally, I manage to get my feet under me, but my whole body keeps shaking in fear.

While I don’t consider myself a coward, my office job definitely didn’t prepare me for a Freesolo experience, served with a side of near-death experience.

I start to take deep breaths to overcome the fear that’s paralyzing me. “T-this is n-no big deal. Just a tiny mistake, nothing to worry about. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.” Slowly, my heart rate steadies, but strongly gripping the rock for several minutes has made my hands ache.

Alright. Okay. I have to go forward if I don’t want to run out of strength. My original body wasn’t in amazing shape, having only rarely exercised, but it looks like my current one is even worse. All the optimization probably went into making the brain more magic-attuned or whatever that crazy mage did.

With utmost caution, I very slowly start climbing again, testing each hold to make sure I don’t slip or it doesn’t break. And after a bit more climbing, I finally reach the top. I lay my hands flat onto the grass above and pull my body up. I collapse onto the soft grass and reflect on what just happened.

“This is insane…”

I used to ridicule those annoying anime protagonists that kept crying during their life-or-death moments, but holy crap, they’re onto something. Nobody tells you how terrifying it is—adrenaline, images of falling, bones shattering, blood everywhere… When you actually experience it yourself instead of watching through a screen, your body becomes paralyzed with fear and a bunch of hormones flood your mind.

I laugh—too loud, too long—until the relief feels like it’s choking me. I’m alive. I made it. But for how long?

“Phew. Blue screen of death avoided. Now if only I could find the ‘Save Game’ button before I end up in a ‘rock falls, everyone dies’ scenario.”

After a few minutes, I calm down and decide to get up and at least take a look around. The sky is a quarter of the way up, but I don’t know if it’s morning or evening. Come to think of it, I don't even know what season it is. The dewy grass below my feet makes me think it’s probably morning. At least some good news—I wouldn’t want to spend my first night butt naked on the cold ground.

Over the ravine, there is a forest leading up a large mountain, piercing through the low-hanging clouds. In the other direction, there’s… a whole lot more forest and nothing else.

“Well now I’m sure glad I watched a few outdoor survival videos. There was even one with a guy surviving a night naked, during winter, without any tools.” Hopefully, I can emulate some of those techniques. First things first, I need water. I can survive without food for some time, but dehydration would kill me within a day or two.

“Water flows down, so there should be some streams going down from the mountain.”

Sigh. "This feels like Survivor—except I didn’t even make it to tribal council. Just... bam. Voted off the island before I even unpacked. Oh, and bonus points: I’m naked. My only protection? My unbreakable will. Yay me."

I snort. "Hey, that’s a great premise! Maybe I should pitch my own TV show: Naked and..." I pause, frowning. "Willing? Wait, no—that just sounds like porn. Naked and Unwilling? No, that’s... so much worse. Definitely worse."

I sigh again, glancing around. "Anyway, what would it matter? No cameras in this world. And even if there were... no TVs to watch it on. Damn, production costs would be through the roof. I’ll put that million-dollar idea on hold for now."

I start walking around the mountain, hoping to find water soon. I pick up a sturdy stick for protection. “Yup. Real hero material right here,” I mutter, gripping my stick like it’s Excalibur. “Yeah, just call me King Arthur. This is my Excalibur—a… stick. A literal stick. Please don’t tell me my quest is to find shrubbery or something.”

I wave the stick around half-heartedly, trying to ward off imaginary enemies. “What happened to getting a legendary sword or at least a silly water goddess to help me out?”

I refocus on looking around for anything edible. I see lots of plants and berries, but none of them look familiar. It’s like the whole ecosystem has shifted.

"I’m pretty sure I’d remember if we had rainbow-colored berries and plants that look like pink dildos."

Wait, didn’t we have pink zucchinis? Close enough.

“Shush, brain. Stop thinking about dildos. You’ll give everyone the wrong impression.”

I puff out my chest, trying to reclaim some dignity. “I’m a very dignified and heroic protagonist!”

Except puffing out my chest only makes my boobs stand out. Great. Really dignified.

I deflate, gripping my stick a little tighter. Focus, focus. Survive first, then maybe find a sword. Preferably before something finds me.

I continue walking for quite a while, the sun is already high up in the sky, while I try not to cut my soft feet on anything sharp. Then I finally find it. A small bubbling brook.

“Finally!” I crouch down and sip the water. It’s only been a few hours since I was dragged into this timeline, but only now do I realize how parched I was. Come to think of it, this is the first water this body has had in, what, decades? Was it in stasis or something?

After having my fill of water, I ponder on what to do next. “Alright, so water is secured. Next should be shelter or fire so I don’t freeze during the night. And only then worry about food.” I look down at my boobs, thick thighs, and heart-shaped butt. Yup. Definitely got enough fat on me to last for a while without food.

Somehow, through the long forest journey, I’ve gotten a bit used to the different shape of my body, and it doesn’t shock me in disbelief every time I look down anymore. Also, I’m proud to say I only tripped eleven times in the last… ten minutes.

I get up and continue walking down the stream. Theoretically, as long as I walk long enough, I should find a village or a town. Those are usually built around streams or rivers. The thought of finding civilization makes me feel quite anxious. I have no money, nothing to trade with, and I’m butt naked. Every time I glance down and my feminine figure comes into view, my anxiety intensifies. With this sexy body, I’ll likely have to worry about things I didn’t as a man—people trying to take advantage of a naked, lost girl, or maybe slavers trying to catch me. All the dark things that happened in grim-dark novels and anime creep into my mind.

"I will beat all the fucking perverts with my Excalibur-stick! Come at me, bro!"

My voice echoes into the forest—except, instead of a fierce threat, it sounds like an angry kitten mewling. Great. Just what I needed. About as intimidating as a house cat.