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“Oh no! I-I’m sorry! Yui-chan... No! Why? Why did I even agree to this? Because of my selfishness, and stupidity, she is now gone! Forever! My Yui-chan!”

An Undine Faery, beautifully clad in blue, huddled in a corner of her bedroom, crying and lamenting in the place she had spent some of her most happy memories in...

No trace of any of the glorious titles that she’d earned in her full-dive gaming experience on her face as neither the titles The Flash nor the Berserk Healer could account for her current vulnerable state.

Her blue hair was all over the place she was occupying yet she did nothing to tidy it up as right now, she just couldn’t care less about ‘propriety’ her strict mother drilled into her oh so thoroughly since she was just a child.

She had every reason to not care about such things since she had just recieved a private message from Agil-san of her beloved daughter, Yui-chan’s failure to infiltrate the system of — of that facility.

They should have ‘thoroughly’ prepared for the mission... There should have been enough countermeasures to protect Yui. But not only had she been caught so easily, she also was traced back by some unknown entity, probably some counter infiltration virus, which corrupted her core data in not just Kirito’s amusphere, but also in Kirito’s computer as well in which Kirito kept her copied files as a backup incase anything happened to his amusphere. In other words, Yui-chan was as good as dead now. Agil-san currently was trying the best he can, but even she with her limited knowledge in programming and full-dive knew that such a result was most probably irreversible. 

“Yui d-died... She died, died while trying to save her papa...”

She let out a depreciating snort, shaking her head,

“No, who am I kidding? It was I who sent her to her death... I should have known that this ‘operation’ — if we can even call it that — had a real chance of failing. But what did I do as her mother? I sent her to her death! I killed her! Just what kind of a mother am I? I’m the worst!”

Her words were mostly unintelligible halfway by her repeated sobs as both of her hands were covering her face. She was blaming herself for being so powerless, but most of all, she was blaming herself for letting her Yui-chan go to such a dangerous mission. Had she been that desperate to save Kirito-kun that she would forsake the safety of her own daughter? No, did she even deserve to be a mother in the first place? 

So she kept crying out her virtual tears, tears that could never fill the freshly opened deep hole within her heart, ejected as an indicator of her loss... 

After a while, due to mental exhaustion, her weeping stopped and with a long sigh, she tried to gather her composure, knowing that it was her responsibility to tell everything to Kirito-kun, personally.

She had to tell him... Tell him how she was not only a huge failure as a wife, but also a huge failure as a mother who could even risk the life of their own daughter behind his back. If she had only asked him in the first place, maybe he would have put more safety countermeasures... No, he wouldn’t even risk it, he’s Kirito-kun after all, that was the reason why they, as in, everyone in Kirito’s circle kept it hidden from him in the first place... But that doesn’t excuse what she had done to him... She’d betrayed him...

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Two hours later, they were inside their home on the 22nd floor in Aincrad when a newly awoken Kirito asked her to repeat what she had just ‘said’ to him in shambles, she could clearly see the disbelief on his avatar’s face. Just from his expression, it was easy for Asuna to understand that there was nearly nothing that he wouldn’t do if only what she just told him were lies. She then repeated, this time speaking more clearly, even when every word was making her want to puke, she was determined to not break any eye contact with her love, he deserved at least that much.

“Yui-chan came up with the idea of infiltrating their system with the Ordinal Scale. Just like when she entered that drone last year... I-we devised a plan that would make a momentary power shortage to confuse the system into thinking Yui-chan is just a command of a program that operates the generators during power-shortage. What we didn’t expect was that for some reason, the system didn’t even have a program installed like that in the first place... So it was not long before it recognized Yui as a foreign program...

Asuna gulped, trying to hold her tears and contain the tightness in her throat as she went on,

“We were really surprised and excited at first as it didn’t take even five minutes when Yui-Chan said that she had found the file that contained the method of transfering one’s consciousness into cyberspace. Then she said that she was going to send a copy of the file to your computer as it was the safest option among many we could think of. Then something happened and then Yui-chan apologised then we lost contact with her.” She broke down into a crying wreck at the last part and fell into her knees. “Kirito-kun! I... I... I... I’m sorry!”

She was devastated of the fact that Kirito was feeling powerless. She knew that if Kirito-kun was his usual and healthy self, he would try everything in the book to help her, even if he knew beforehand that all of his efforts would just be in vain. But nowadays he can’t even get out of his hospital bed. It must have definitely crushed his spirits...

He just looked down, his messy black hair covering his face, not even uttering a single word for several minutes, but when he did, it was with a very heavy tone of voice, he uttered just one sentence, his face dark; “Asuna, let’s leave this house...”

Instead of hearing words of disgust or anger from him, Kirito only let out a faint smile... It was more disconcerting for her as she believed that she deserved to be punished. Maybe Kirito-kun needed to be somewhere else to speak clearly... So she said,

”You’re right, let’s have some fresh air, let me tak...” she was interrupted as Kirito elaborated:

”Asuna... I meant to say, I do not want to ever return to this house, ever again.”

Asuna unfortunately understood him. Some part of her knew that staying here would only bring more painful memories of their Yui-chan, so she agreed, not without any hesitation though, as the house was still full of memories of her and Kirito with Yui-chan. Such a wonderful place... Their home... Without Yui-chan, then what’s the point in living here? Is it still considered their home?

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She nodded her head while avoiding looking at her beloved.

“And just so you know, I’m not angry at you. I may had done the same thing... Because I understand how you feel Asuna. You were feeling powerless right? Seeing my body decline day after day... Sometimes I wonder, if the one suffering the most is you?”

Asuna gulped, maintaining eye contact with the Spriggan. If she didn’t know any better, she would have assumed that he had some skill to read minds. He went on,

“Just like you I too am sick and tired of being powerless Asuna. Especially in the real world... My real body has become a huge burden to me. I can neither smell, nor taste; neither can I walk nor touch you... Smell you... Sometimes when I’m alone, I find myself wishing that this body was my real body, and this game my reality.

“Me too.” Asuna said, looking down, grasping her hands in the middle of her chest as she continued.

“Together with Yui-chan, I dream of us living happily like that, going to little adventures together, hanging out with the others, Yui-chan asking for a little b-brother a-and a l-little s-sister, Yui-chan being a n-nee-san...” Just as she broke down and started crying, Kirito was there for her, holding her tightly. They cried, together for their child... It was so hard, so painful that Kirito was sure learning that he was cancer wouldn’t scratch the surface of what he was feeling right now. But he had to stay strong. Not just for Asuna, but for himself as well. So he took a deep breath and whispered enthusiastically to his love,

“Hey Asuna” 

”Hmm?” She replied.

“I’m planning to change my race...”

She immediately let go of him and looked into his eyes. He was serious.

“Kirito-kun... Why?” as she asked the Spriggan, he too looked back into her deep blue eyes.

Asuna was shocked. Just why? Why did he decide to change his avatar now of all times? Why not create a new account? And more importantly, what’s with the facade? But her thoughts were interrupted as Kirito decided to reply,

“Spriggans... We are free of this world’s, Alfheim’s politics. We are free to do whatever we want... Tell me, Asuna, what’s the real meaning and purpose — of being free and without shackles... If the people you love are not there for you to share it with them?”

Asuna was left speechless. Her Kirito-kun was really good at doing that to her. It was not the first time he had spoken that way to her... There were certain times that Kirito-kun was surprisingly... Melancholic, even observant to a shocking degree. Especially when he was assessing other people’s problems... This time he was doing the same thing, but to himself. He was always so carefree other than times like these... Well, not always, but most of the time. Doing what he liked, how he liked was like a second nature to him, so she really thought being a Spriggan suited him the best. For him to speak like this...

“Kirito-kun... You know what that means right? All of your stats and magic will be reset...’

”I’ve been thinking — you know, thinking is all I can do nowadays, can’t even go to a toilet by myself anymore, so with nothing to do but slowly watch myself wither away...

As she was just going to interrupt him, he went on,

“Spending most of your time in bed, watching your family and people who mean the world to you, looking at you — the way they look at you... It’s as if you are a totally different person...” He shook his head and went on.

“Watching them sacrifice their time and happiness just to do something for you... Be there for you...  It feels good at the beginning, knowing that there are people who care for you... But in time, it only serves to make you feel like crap about yourself. And no, Asuna. You are different.” As an angry Asuna was about to interject, Kirito added, knowing exactly what she was outraged about.

“Asuna, you are the only one I feel close enough to give my everything, and in return recieve anything and everything you have to offer... Because your’re my wife. That’s what a husband is for, right?”

Asuna’s expression changed from anger to surprise, then she began blushing while at the same time wiping off her tears with her sleeves as she said in a mock anger, “Moooh! Baka! If you say it like that, how can I stop myself...” She then threw herself at Kirito who received her gently and held her tightly against him, his world getting darker as Asuna’s blue hair was blocking all the light...

“Just what am I going to do with you?” She sighed in bliss despite her world crumbling down before her, if it’s with Kirito, she could do it. So she went on, “Well, shoganai na, as your wife, I have to look after you. Because you’re my kawaii husband.” She finished, while patting and massaging her Kirito’s head gently.

“I don’t know if I should be offended by that...” Kirito remarked, slightly irritated by being called cute of all things.

Asuna giggled a little then went on her speech while continuing patting his head which was resting peacefully on her shoulder,

“But-you-are-cute,” as Asuna was going to elaborate on that, Kirito soon gave up and just replied with, trademark “Hai Hai...” after sighing. Kirito then said, turning somber,

“I missed your real hair, Asuna...” He said as he took a small handful of her hair, looking at it with longing...

His words, not to mention the small gesture with his hand was really effective, making her overwhelmed with emotions... Even after their child’s death, that Kirito still managed to found a way to make her a happy woman, even if only for that moment, which didn’t last long as he continued, this time his face not on her shoulders, but on the same level as hers as he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth.

“I’ve had enough, Asuna. Enough... I want a fresh start, without this burden on my shoulders...”

”Did you decide which race you’re gonna pick then?” Asuna intentionally diverted the conversation elsewhere as she felt it was for the best.

“No, not yet.”

“Then how about being a Sylph? As my other account, Erica too was a Sylph, I can account to it’s buoyancy. Even though my current race, Undine is pretty light, a Sylph is on a completely different level. As the Faery race Sylph is the lightest race and uses wind, so I think it will quite suit you. Also, to change a race, you will have to have the approval of the faction leader of the race you want to become so, Sakuya-san will definitely be the most supportive one in accepting you to their Faction.”

“Hmmm, what better way to feel less burdened by choosing to be reborn as the lightest of the nine Faery races, is what your’re saying then...” He wondered out loud as he held his chin with his right hand while supporting his right arm with his left hand.

He then nodded, “Alright, I’ve decided to be reborn, as a Sylph...”

Seeing Kirito’s resolve and not wanting him to be any more alone than he already was, it didn’t take Asuna too long to resolve herself as well, “Then I’m changing my race too. I gave my other account to my mother as she had taken a liking to it so...”

Though Kirito was touched, he didn’t want Asuna to feel obligated to follow him as he said, “What? If you do, you will lose all your sword skills, including the one Yuuki gave you. What was it? Rosemary?”

“Mother’s Rosario!” Asuna just couldn’t find it in herself to scold him for mistaking Yuuki’s only memento, the 11 combo move... “Didn’t you know? You can keep your normal and original skills while changing your race. The only thing lost will be your magic experience and your stats which will be set to default. By the way, I’m thinking of changing into a Sylph as well, so we can easily do the faction missions together...” 

Kirito felt more at ease, knowing that Asuna wouldn’t have to give up that particular skill. She really loved Yuuki. But still, he was unwilling to see Asuna throw away her years of hard work in cultivating her character... But it was only fair, he couldn’t stop her if she was adamant about it, which she definitely was, knowing her personality. So, overwhelmed with emotions, he suddenly hugged her tightly. “Asuna!”

Her Asuna... Just what did he do to deserve such a woman... He would never know...

“Kirito-kun, I tried hard not to, but I just can’t stop these tears, not in this game...”

She sobbed on his chest, then as she looked at him, Kirito too looked back. They didn’t have to speak to understand what they wanted to convey to each other. One look was enough as they nodded at each other and then finally, exited their home, a safe haven that they spent more than five years, with Yui-chan... Only looking back one last time, before closing the door behind their backs, never to step in again...

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