The Killing Grounds. The Horny Boar Field, where a horde of players were fighting horse-sized boars with unicorn horns protruding from their foreheads.
A group were arriving with a bald trainer giving them advice about how to kill their next prey. Passing them by was a convoy of boar-laden wagons that stretched all the way back to The Slums.
Amongst the trainees, Henry was studying the atrociously-titled boars being slain, his head bobbing in sync with music.
These 'Horny Boars' had three abilities: a basic charge, a vertical leap that stunned anyone near the crash point, and a desperation attack where they shot their horn like a bullet. Simple stuff.
Yet again, most of the complication stemmed from The Slum Empire's recruiter thugs.
Here, too, the prime hunting location had been cordoned off, an area the size of twenty football fields dense with trees. The recruiters in these spots babysat queues of waiting noobs that'd agreed to sign with their Villages and guided them through a failproof strategy for taking down the massive boars. Positioning themselves in front of the trees, the trainees would entice the boars into charging, dodge at the last second so the monsters would stun themselves on the trees to their rear, and then stab away with spears.
The rest of the Horny Boar Fields, spanning about four square-kilometres in total, was, technically, available for any unaffiliated newbies. In practice, however, the boars in this free area were impossible to kill for a solo player. The beasts protected themselves by staying in herds and strategically knocking over any trees that grew too large. An average noob, the previous bunny-slaying exercising not having prepared them in the slightest, would be forced to concede if they'd been holding out and sign with a Village.
As with The Rabbit Sanctuary, this area punishing the unaffiliated was by a conscious design. The Slum Empire's leadership had become quite aggressive with their recruitment tactics. They wanted to snipe new players before they could qualify to leave The Slums and enter Central City and join the richer organisations inside.
But Henry, not a noob, would have no difficulties either way. So...whatever.
“Big Bro, do you think I can beat the high score?” Dan, still around, pointed handsomely to another Speedtrial station.
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
Tired of explaining, Henry replied with another vague platitude. “Before asking outwards, ask inwards. In life, often the greatest lessons are those we teach ourselves."
"Whoa..."Handsome Dan fell silent, as he wrestled with the gravity of this wisdom.
The bald trainer stopped the class and assigned them a quest to retrieve 12 boars. After completion, he would use the carcasses to unlock
One meathead noticed a pack of Grey Wolves from the next tutorial section lurking at the perimeter of the Board Fields, eyeing the fat creatures hungrily but not attacking. “Bald Bro, what's stopping the wolves?"
Instructor Apari responded with a clueless shrug “I've travelled the world over and seen the same unusual sight in all countries. Whenever enough of these weaker monsters gather, a safety zone forms around them. Higher beasts attempting to intrude vanish, taken who knows where.”
“Why’s that?”
“Not sure, honestly. There are many rumours to explain the phenomenon: invisible predators, all-powerful beast kings, Planar anomalies. The world has many mysteries.”
In the back of the group, Henry sneered.
Wasn’t the answer obvious? The lazy developers didn’t want noobs getting torn apart by monsters beyond their level, so they ham-fistedly installed a segregation mechanic in low-level zones.
The collection quest received, Henry decided to leave while everyone was asking the trainer for tips.
He grabbed the donkey from the trainer's friend, the shabby mount trying to bite off his fingers in annoyance. Riding it, he sped off into the open fields roamed by the boar herds.
Making use of the territory covering such a large area, he would search for a secluded spot. Figuring he would finish ten-times quicker than the rest of the Class, he'd come up with an idea to transform this boring, joke-of-a task into a useful practice opportunity.
After the time it takes for a fifteen-minute power nap.
In the open fields, a boar was charging a handsome figure also doing the tutorial. Even though he was dressed in the same shabby noob gear as the players around him, he stood out like a Hollywood actor with bleached, filed teeth on a British period drama.
The attacking Horny Boar lowered its head.
Handsome Dan, using the action as a signal, pounced to his left and thrust out his sword to his right. His arm shook, as the blade penetrated the meat behind the passing boar’s ribs and opened up a wide gash in its side.
During previous attacks, Dan had watched his gashes almost instantly heal. This time, however, as the boar backed up and prepared for another charge, the wound sealed only halfway, a slice of pink left on its side like a friendly smile affirming his success.
This marked the conclusion of ‘the chipping phase’, as the Bald Bro had called it. Now came the killing blow.
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The Bald Bro recommended they finish the monsters off slowly, taking out their legs first and carefully avoiding the horn shot. However, earlier, when Dan’d seen Big Bro riding off, Big Bro had slain a boar that got in his way with a single masterful stab to the heart, quick as a boxer's jab, precise as an embroidery needle.
Dan, unafraid of the challenge, would do the same.
The boar facing him down grunted. Beads of glowing energy were sucked from its surroundings into its legs, and, with heightened speed, its massive bulk flew towards him, bearing down upon Dan like a Whale Forward flat-decking a Scrum Quartet.
Dan, standing dwarfed before the charging wall, held his position, his sword clasped tightly between his fingers.
It was crunch time on the game-field! The goose was about to swallow the buzzer, and he was halfway to the goal zone with a boiled spud still in its jacket, one peeler between him and the line!
"Now!" he shouted.
At the last moment, mirroring Big Bro's strike, Dan stepped to the side, ducked down, and shoved the blade forward at a spot above the boar’s right leg.
Unfortunately, Handsome Dan had neglected to note that Henry had been holding his sword in a single hand and had released it immediately afterwards.
Missing this crucial step, the handsome brute was bulldozed over and swallowed under the boar's legs, his arm being dislodged from its socket and his cranium receiving a hoof-shaped dent.
Nevertheless, Handsome Dan, due to his unique psychological constitution, wasn't concerned with this pummelling. In fact, he enjoyed it.
In a pile of his own broken limbs, he watched through blurred vision as the boar, carrying on, lost its balance and crashed into the ground, its momentum making it slide a bit further in the dirt.
Grinning, he raised a thumb to no one in particular.
Victory!
Picking himself up, he went over to the fallen boar and absorbed his experience from it, an action he could do alone now after having undergone Bald Bro's ritual.
After transferring the corpse into his inventory, he saw that his health pool was dangerously low, so he decided to return to a campsite his rugby teammates had set up.
They'd set up beside a growing mountain of boar corpses. When Dan arrived, the bros were clambering to feed the chunks they'd cooked to Russian Sis. A group from another class was watching in amusement, having fused with theirs in order to hunt the boars in a pack. It was a pleasant scene, with lots of laughter and shouting.
Dan, slipping in without a word, took a free seat on a log beside the cooking fire. From his inventory, he summoned a skewer of healing meat that Bald Bro had given him. Remembering his manners, he offered to share with a girl next to him from the other group.
"Not a chance!" she replied, slapping him in the face and moving to the other side of the fire.
Dan, scratching his head in confusion, being unable to dig out from his hair a sensible explanation for that reaction, gave a shrug and chowed down, his healthbar replenishing a bit with each chunk of meat he swallowed.
“Dan Bro, why'd you leave us?" asked a teammate, taking the free seat beside him.
Dan smiled. “Guess.”
He wondered himself why he’d wandered off alone while his teammates had been working together. Hanging out with them, he did enjoy, but he’d also discovered something different...a new excitement that could only manifest when he was free of the group's protection.
Was this why Big Bro insisted on fighting by himself, to increase the thrill?
WHOMP!
The peace was interrupted by a heavy thud. The group collectively glanced at the source of the noise on top of a nearby hill, down the slopes of which came a tide of red dust that seconds later swept over them, thick enough to extinguish their fire.
As the dust settled, they were able to gradually make out a giant boulder-sized object that'd landed on the hill. But it wasn't a boulder, they soon realised. It was a gargantuan boar - a boss battle!
Dan, while the others were coughing, instinctively jumped in front of Russian Sis, pulling out his sword. "Don’t worry, Russian Sis! I'll protect you!"
The Russian girl behind him rolled her eyes as she was mobbed by the other meatheads imitating the pointless heroism of the first.
To her, these freaks trying to hit on her had gone beyond ridiculous. She didn't need handholding or protection in a videogame where fighting big monsters was the main point. This Dan kid had especially grossed her out. Visually, a muscled male lead in a romance movie had come to her aid. However, with his avatar being altered to such an exaggerated degree, she couldn't help picturing his potential real-life appearance. Being 'protected' by some pale, dweeby nerd...how vile.
Dan, oblivious to these thoughts, was filled with excitement at facing his first epic boss battle.
But, as the dust cleared further, he noticed that the giant boar wasn’t moving.
In fact, it was flat down on its belly, just like the boars he'd killed, their stumpy legs giving out under their weight.
Others had noticed this, too. Not just at their campsite, but all around the Boar Fields, Players, trainers, and recruiter thugs immediately began to swarm towards to dead giant laid out as a prize to be claimed on top of the hill.
Dan, not wanting to be beaten, sprinted along with those racing to be first, his legs pumping as he outpaced several others and sped up the hill's slope. Getting close, he beheld the magnificent scale of the beast, its body as long as his school bus and as tall as a rugby crossbar.
It was a magnificent specimen. Arriving in its shadow, he felt overwhelmed by the nobility and grandeur the powerful beast must have possessed in life.
While those who'd reached the giant beast before him were crawling over its carcass and reaching under it in search of loot, Dan slowly circled it in admiration. Two peculiarities stuck out to him. Its back hairs were singed, and, over the spot where its heart was located, there was a single, deep stab wound.
Big Bro? Dan wondered, the wound reminding him of how the boar earlier had been finished off.
Indeed, scanning the area, he spotted a monkey-headed figure and a spooked donkey trying discretely to descend against the crowd of players racing up to observe the beast.
“Big Bro!” he yelled, running over. “How'd you snag this huge fella?!”
Henry, caught red-handed, checked around himself, finding thankfully that no one else in the ever-growing throng had noticed.
He messaged the meathead to shut up.
-Anonymous. Shh. I’m not the one that killed it. I was relaxing with a quaint novel when the falling body almost obliterated me.
-Danontherightwing: Haha! Big Bro, that work's got your signature all over it!
Henry groaned, wondering what this kid's problem was.
-Anonymous: Fine. I did it. Don't tell anyone about this either. Threat's the same as before: no more friendship.
Dan blinked in confusion.
-Danontherightwing: Big Bro, I don’t get why you’re trying to be so secretive. First with the rabbit thieves; now, this.
-Anonymous: Deep down, I'm a very shy guy. Crippling social anxiety. The limelight makes me a nervous wreck.
Dan laughed. Could a shy guy have beaten him up so viciously? Impossible.
-Danontherightwing: C’mon, Big Bro...
Henry, changing strategies, looked around himself again, this time with exaggerated suspicion.
-Anonymous: Listen, Dan, no one can know this. In truth, I’m on a top-secret quest to save the world.
Dan stared at Big Bro blankly.
...
...
-Danontherightwing: Sick! Can I join?
Being a turbonoob, Dan had no frame of reference with which to judge the claim. For all he knew, world-saving missions and giant monsters were daily occurrences, even in the Starting Zone.
-Anonymous: No. It’s a one-player quest. That's how the game works, sometimes. If you try to share your one-player quest, it fails, which, in this case, would mean the destruction of the entire planet.
-Danontherightwing: Damn. Hey, Big Bro, how'd you’d fight this huge guy? I want to battle one too.
Henry, wincing, scratched his head, his expression darkening as his mood was further soured by the stupid question and the even more stupid answer.
How had he ended up fighting this giant boar?
Well, there he'd been, history's greatest retiree, just minding his own business, maximising the use of his spare time in this noob tutorial to squeeze in extra training for the upcoming noob tournament...