They retired to a pub across the street. Ash didn’t even wait until they had ordered. “We’re Truthers,” he told Mary bluntly. “If you’re not, you can bail now.”

“Ah,” Jay said, discomforted by the full-court press.

“You’re also dicks,” Mary said. “You more so than Aragorn, but still both of you. You treated me like baggage for that whole session.”

“And why shouldn’t we? What can a fifth rank druid offer a seventh rank ranger and wizard?” Ash stared her down, but surprisingly, Mary didn’t flinch.

“I’ve memorized the entire elven bestiary cycle, all nine volumes.”

Jay started to speak but then paused. He realized she hadn’t mentioned her character at all.

“Okay,” Ash said, “but I can get that on my phone.”

“Right,” Mary snapped. “While a raksasha is turning your guts inside out you’re going to look up which spell can pierce his wards. You’ll totally have time for that.”

Jay tried to rejoin the conversation before it got completely out of the room and down the hall to whatever bizarre destination it seemed headed for. “You mean, Roger wouldn’t let you use a phone. No game master would.”

Mary rolled her eyes at him. “We’re not talking about the game. Try to keep up.”

Ash chuckled. “So you’re in for reals. ‘Scuse me, but you don’t look like the type.”

She stared back. “Excuse me, but you don’t know fuck all about me.”

The waitress showed up just then, and Mary blushed at having been caught cursing. Jay felt dizzy just watching the girl leap from timid to fierce and back again. That spoke to either a spine of iron or mental instability. Jay wondered if it mattered which it was. Going Otherside to face real wraiths wasn’t exactly the behavior of the well-adjusted.

They ordered drinks quickly. The bar was busy and thankfully the waitress didn’t stop to make small chat.

“How many volumes you got in your head?” Ash asked Jay as soon as the waitress was gone.

Jay was reminded of how Ash could pick fights without even trying. Mary might actually be less of a social hazard.

“Not that many. I focused on the low-rank creatures,” he answered, feeling a need to justify himself. “I mean, you’ve got to start small, right? I figured I’d learn the rest as I moved up.”

“Starting small is for chumps,” Ash said. “I’m going over with the equivalent of a hundred wands of arcane missiles. If I can’t make fifth rank by the time that runs out, I don’t deserve rank.”

“What?” Mary said. “How can you afford that much magic? Do you have a source?”

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Ash frowned at her. “Of course not. I meant a gun. I’m going to take a gun.”

Mary sniffed. “That seems counter-productive. We’re going over there to get away from technology.”

“No,” Ash said slowly, staring at her like she was mentally impaired. “We’re going over there to get power. Technology has its role. Specifically, the part where we kill monsters before we actually have ranks. Guns will make that a lot easier.”

“What do you think of all this?” Mary asked Jay. Jay was a little discomfited by how much she seemed to care about his opinion.

“I’ve got a compound bow. I’m pretty sure it equates to a second level power enchantment. I figure that, plus a few other bits, ought to put me up a leg. I’m going to lay low, search out targets I can handle, play it safe. Not go in guns blazing.”

“Sure,” Ash said. “That’s a good idea. You should do that. And when you inevitably pull a horde of cannibalistic orcs down on your campsite, you’ll appreciate my blazing.”

Jay tried to defend his plan. “I convinced one game master to let me start a first-rank with a second level bow. It worked pretty well, even if I couldn’t register the character with the commission.”

“Was the game master Roger?” Ash said with a sneer. “No, it wasn’t. So it doesn’t count. Roger’s the only table in town who’s even close to the reals. Everybody else is just playing a stupid game.”

“If you’re plan is so good, what do you need us for?” Mary said.

“Because even Tonto’s weak healing is more than a wizard can do. Plus, going into the wilderness without a ranger? How stupid is that? I originally thought I’d just hire one Otherside, but I guess that’s not really possible.”

Jay had read every account of interactions with the real druids and rangers. He nodded confirmation. It was not at all possible.

“The druids are worse,” Mary said, and for a moment Jay was afraid she was going to cry. “No Terrestrial has ever been accepted to their order. If I want to be a druid I have to do it on my own.”

“Stone-cold bitches, they are,” Ash agreed. “But the wizards are hardly any better. Getting into Falconer’s academy requires a perfect SAT score. Chumps who missed as much as one little question need not apply. As I found out.”

Ash paused while the waitress delivered their beers. When she was gone he took a long drink and then set down his glass. “But if I already had the ranks, I’d be in like Flynn. It’s like bribing your way into Oxford. If you’re an aristocrat of the right class you get in for free.”

“How are you going to get through the Gate?” Mary asked Ash. Jay decided they deserved each other; that was a rude question. Every Truther’s fantasy founded on that rock.

To his credit Ash didn’t blow smoke. “Still working on that part,” he admitted.

“And you?” Mary turned her gaze on Jay. It was like being faced down by a hostile gerbil.

“Same,” he said, sparing himself further conversation by becoming intimate with his beer.

“Then that’s another thing I can offer you.” Mary sipped at her own drink while the two men stared. “I won a research visa. I guess mastering spoken and written Elvish impressed someone. I figure I can squeeze in three assistants.”

“Holy shit,” Ash said. Jay wholeheartedly agreed.

“I didn’t say I’d take you,” Mary said, blushing. “I mean, I hardly know you.”

Ash laughed. “You’ll take us. You’re running out of time to put your team together and your last party turned out be poseurs. You’re as desperate as we are.”

“How can you possibly know that?” she squealed.

“Sheer deduction, my good woman,” Ash answered, tapping his forehead. “Also, thanks for confirming it.”

Mary turned to Jay for rescue. He shook his head. “Ash is right. He’s sharp like that. We’re all running out of time. Every day the wilderness gets a little further away; every day the knowledge of technology spreads a little further. If we don’t go soon we never will. I didn’t want to admit it before, but now that you’ve given us an actual path, I can see we never had another. I’m ready to go. Tonight, even. Before it’s too late.”

She sighed. “Not quite so soon. My transfer is scheduled for two months from now. You have that long to convince me won’t all just die over there.”

“Fair enough,” Jay said. “I think I know how to do that. And incidentally, convince myself that the two of you won’t get me killed.”