The seasons continue to turn. When the weather warms up enough for you to stay outside for more than an hour at a time, you start spending more time with Mama. All the humans in your family are now on a different schedule. Papa is awake at night so he can protect you while you are sleeping. Sister Arely is awake during the day so she can protect the cave mouth while Papa sleeps. Mama and Azuria are awake during the day so they can find food. Your daily routine is the most complicated. Papa wakes you up in the middle of the night and feeds you breakfast when he has lunch. Afterward, he helps you exercise until it is time to join the tribe for meditation. When you return from morning meditation, Papa sleeps and you go out with Mama.

Some of your meals with Papa have meat, but never with Mama. Mama never eats meat. She goes out of her way to avoid hurting the animals you see on your travels and sometimes talks with them. They glare at Wotjeo and you suspiciously while they talk to Mama and whisper to her so you can't hear them. If you try to get close enough to eavesdrop, they run away faster than you or Wotjeo can follow.

You ask Mama why she never eats meat and she tells you "All life is precious my little growllita. We should not kill unless that is the only way to survive. Sometimes we must fight and kill when we are attacked. That happens more often than it should becuase the neighboring tribes are both greedy and foolishly aggressive, but I will not kill just to eat. Your father and the rest of the our clan think that eating meat helps them grow strong. I am a guest in their lands so I do not try to stop them, but I do not join them either."

You ask Papa why he eats meat. He picks you up and then pumps you in the air like one of his weights when he does overhead presses. Your three winter old body is smaller than one side of the weights he usually uses and he lifts you effortlessly. You giggle with delight. Papa often lifts you like you’re a training weight, a game you both enjoy. "Eating meat is how you get big and strong like your Papa. Everyone knows that meat from stronger animals helps you get stronger too. Meat from weaker animals doesn't help as much but still tastes good. The Silver Bear clan has the best hunters which is why we are the strongest clan. I used to be the best hunter in the whole clan, which meant I was the best hunter in the Valley. That's how I got so strong. So make sure to eat everything we give you so you can be big and strong too."

You and Wotjeo nod your heads in enthusiastic agreement. You are both always hungry and always eat all of your food.

You think about what Mama told you. You really like the taste of the sweet liquid, and you had to kill lots of the tiny flying creatures to get it. You definitely want more of the sweet liquid, so you guess you're not as gentle as Mama. You also want to get big and strong like Papa. A part of you feels sad that you are different from Mama, but if you stopped eating meat then you’d be different from Papa. You feel like any answer would have left you disappointed.

Ultimately, the most significant part of your decision to continue eating meat is that your ever-present brother Wotjeo the silver bear cub eats whatever he wants. Since you are a bear just like him, you too will eat whatever you want. If it fights back first, all the better to help you get stronger. Mama doesn't seem upset by your decision and continues to take you with her to gather food from the nearby forest.

Mama teaches Wotjeo and you about the plants and fruits you gather as you help her. The plants are still really hard to tell apart. Your brother bear cub Wotjeo’s superior sense of smell makes it easier for him to find the right herbs. Together, you learn a bit about the common edible fruits of Aestia Valley. Pomegranates grow on trees and are good to eat starting a little bit after it gets cold until the flowers start blooming. Pomegranates are fun to eat because they have lots of little juicy pods that you pick out individually and eat. It makes the meals feel longer which helps quiet the hunger in your belly for at least a little while. Apricots grow on smaller trees than Pomegranates and are available during the warm days of summer. After apricot season, the sweetest fruit, grapes, can be gathered from vines that mostly grow along the river banks. With only half a day to spend with Mama, you never get far from the caves, but Mama warns you: "Don't follow the river or go chasing after grapes so far that you lose sight of me. If you ever follow the river and realize you can't see the mountainside our cave is in anymore, come back right away. This is very important growllita. The Water Leopards own most of the river from the lake and waterfall where the river begins to the East of us all the way to the sea in the West. Water Leopards are very good at hiding in water. Even if you think you are alone, there may be an enemy hiding in the river. You must always be careful near the river, or any other body of water."

***

Time passes in the warm and loving embrace of your family. In the middle of your fourth winter, Papa wakes you up late. Instead of training you, he bathes you and gives you a brand new dress made from soft rabbit fur. Mama braids your hair and then holds you in her lap. She hugs you tightly as Papa crouches in front of you, a serious expression on his usually boisterous face: "You are going to meet the Matriarch today. She is the strongest woman in the clan. Even stronger than me. Be very polite to her. If she tells you to do something, do it immediately and without arguing." Mama hugs you even tighter, and Papa says to her: "It is time, we have to go now." Mama's hug gets even tighter for a second, and she kisses the top of your head before relaxing her hold on you.

Papa holds your hand and leads you deeper into the cave.

"Be strong growllita!" You turn to look back at Mama when you hear her voice. She smiles strangely at you. She looks like she did when she found you after you fought the sweet liquid makers, except she's also smiling. You've never seen her look like that before. It’s kind of scary. Wotjeo nuzzles you to reassure you and you hug him with the hand Papa isn’t holding.

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The tunnel at the back of your cave seems darker and scary today. You are aware of the whole mountain above you pressing down on the tiny tunnel and how small you are. Papa usually lets you walk at your own pace, but today he is jittery and impatient. He keeps urging you to walk faster. Several times he walks so quickly your short legs can't keep up, and he pulls painfully on your arm. He grimaces then scoops you up in his arms and jogs down the tunnel. He sets you down just short of the last bend to the main cavern then straightens your dress. "Remember my strong daughter, you must be brave and do exactly what the Matriarch tells you. Come on."

Taking you by the hand again Papa leads you into the main cavern where the clan usually meets to meditate together. As usual, the whole clan is here, but the atmosphere is hushed and expectant. At the front of the clan is a woman even bigger than Papa. You've never seen anyone as big as Papa before, but this woman is even bigger. Her hair is pure silver and gleams metallically in the firelight. Not only that, but she doesn’t have a silver bear spirit companion. It is as shocking to see someone without their spirit companion as it would be to see someone without a head. It’s not natural. You shiver even though the cave is not cold. To her left are five boys and five silver bear cubs.

Papa leads you out of the tunnel. Your usual place during meditation is in the third row from the front, but Papa leads you past that and up to the stage to stand with the other children. The other kids look to be about your age, but you don't have long to examine them because Papa is whispering instructions in your ear: "Stand here and look straight ahead until you are called. Make me proud." Papa then leaves you on the stage and walks to his usual meditation spot without you. Your knees feel wobbly, and you want to run after him. This is all strange. You are surrounded by strangers, and the whole clan is looking at you. You are the only girl on the stage which doesn’t seem fair. You firmly remind yourself that you beat the sweet liquid makers and you can do this too. Wotjeo is beside you. You are not alone.

You realize the woman bigger than Papa has been speaking and you start listening to what she is saying. "... our newest cubs become members of the clan this day. They have each survived four turnings of the Egg. They have each felt the bite of winter’s bitter cold four times and lived. Now they will demonstrate their metal to the clan so that we may begin to trust them to help us fight against our many enemies."

The giant woman gestures, and suddenly there is a multi-colored pyramid in front of her. Each layer is a massive slab of solid metal as tall as you are. The woman leaps to the top of the pyramid in a single bound then turns to look at you. "The first cub to join us is the daughter of Guarnicio of no family." She is pointing at you and Wotjeo. "Come, children, join me."

You exchange hesitant looks with Wotjeo. Together you walk up to the base of the pyramid. Nobody stops either of you, so you guess you're doing what she wants. The bottom slab of the pyramid is stone with streaks and splotches of many different colors. Unlike the other slabs, the surface of the bottom one is rough and uneven. It is easy to climb it, and even Wotjeo finds a place where he can scramble up.

The second slab is white as a cloud. You lift yourself up onto it. When you kneel down to help Wotjeo up, you can see imprints your hands made in the second slab when you pulled yourself up. Wotjeo's claws leave deep scratches in it as he kicks and you pull him up.

The third slab is dull grey. It is almost as easy to damage as the second level.

The fourth level is orangish brown. You can feel the strain in your arms from lifting first yourself and then Wotjeo but Papa's training shows it worth now. You’ve felt this burn before and now you can push yourself further. You approach the next level with confidence.

The fifth level is the same flat black color as Papa's hair and Arely's fur. It is hard and cold. Wotjeo's claws can't find any purchase, and you do almost all the work of lifting him up. You are panting as you approach the next level. You look up. Only two more. You can do this.

The sixth level is a rich yellowish-brown and warm as a summer day. Again, you kneel down to lift Wotjeo up. This time he jumps. You catch him halfway up and with a single explosive heave, haul him the rest of the way up. The effort nearly exhausts you, so you lean against the next slab and catch your breath for a moment before standing up again.

The last level is the exact same silver shade as the giant woman's, the Matriarch's(?) hair. You wonder again where her companion is before focusing your attention on the slab. It is taller than all the other slabs. Almost too tall for you to reach the top without jumping. You are glad you rested before attempting it. The surface feels slick and slippery, and it is a struggle to pull yourself up without losing your grip. Finally, you reach the top. You and the Matriarch aren't alone up here, there's some sort of metal frame up here too, but you're too focused on helping Wotjeo up next to worry about it yet. Your arms are trembling from the effort it took just to get you up here. You know you can do this, but you really don't want to - it is going to take everything you have to lift Wotjeo so high. You kneel down to help Wotjeo up, but he can't jump high enough for you to reach. You lay down on your belly. The top of the pyramid where you are is so small that even your short legs get tangled up in the metal frame. It's hot! Have to do this fast! Wotjeo jumps as high as he can, and you catch him. You try to haul him up but laying down like this everything is working against you. His weight pulls you down, and you start sliding off the edge of the slab. Fortunately, your feet get caught in the metal frame, and you stop sliding. Slowly and carefully, you drag both of you back up; every muscle in your body screaming from effort in the unusual position.

The silver-haired Matriarch waits until your breathing evens out before commanding: "Stand beside me children." You obey. Standing beside her you can see that the metal frame is holding a silver bowl filled with burning black rocks. You can feel the heat on your face as the fires consume them hungrily. "Now, human-child. Stick your hand into the flames and hold it there." You stuck your hand in the firepit once when Mama was cooking. It hurt a lot. Papa paddled you until your behind was as red as the fire for doing it. Papa also told you to do what the Matriarch said. You aren't sure which order to follow. You look up at the Matriarch, and she repeats her command: "Prove your worth to the clan, man-child. Place your hand in the fire and show us your metal." You look back at the bowl full of burning black rocks and fire. You take a deep breath, and the heat from the fire sucks all the moisture out of your mouth. You thrust your hand into the flame and fire goes wild. The flames double in size and continue growing rapidly. If fire keeps growing it will escape the bowl and envelop you. The flames show no sign of stopping before they consume you.