One wonderful day in Ward City, the acclaimed Stephen Silworth was asked to help a family, whose residence was haunted by unknown spirits or ghosts. Travelling to the countryside, he was weary as he was not used to travelling by train.

On arrival, he determined that two spirits and a unicorn was present. Then he introduced himself to the family, which consisted of two beautiful girls, one attending Uni, one in high school, and the two parents, of course.

“Unicorns hate carrots. It makes them think it is their own precious horn. It’s their pride and delight. They hate those so much they disappear after eating a bit of that.”

“What about the ghosts?”

“One is a con-ghost. You just have to kick him in the bowels with high heeled shoes. They like to jest with people, but as soon as they are in danger, fleeing is their option. The other is your ancestor.”

“Why would an ancestor haunt us?”

“Girls, do you have any boyfriends?”

“No.” Replied the bigger one. “I am currently focusing on my studies.”

“Same.” Replied the other.

“Well, that can be a reason. How do that one manifest its anger?” Asked Stephen.

“Leaves a sticky material in any holes, breaking things like toilet and the sink by doing that.”

“I’m certain that that is the problem. The ancestor wants to see the lineage continued. It’s probably the best to get a boyfriend, one of you…”

“Great…” Sighed the family.

“I might be intrusive, but could you put me up? There are no trains going back from midnight, and there was no accommodation nearby.”

“Sure.” Replied the father.

“I’ll try to dispose of the con and the unicorn just about now.”

“Thank you, Mr. Silworth.”

“Call me Stephen.” His phone rang. “Can I?”

“Please.” Replied the mother.

Retreating outside, he answered the phone.

“There is a situation at the beach, Mr. Silworth, we’d like you to solve the problem. Of course that would come with a hefty reward.”

“In Ward City?”

“No, I thought we sent you a letter today.”

“I’m currently working outside the city.”

“Okay. A hundred kilometres from the city eastwards, you can take a train, we’ll pay…”

“Well, luck is on your side. I am nearby, but I can only take care of it tomorrow. Bye.” He locked his phone, and went back.

When he stepped into the living room, the anxiety and nervousness almost deprived Stephen from breathing for a second.

“Don’t worry, I can make two of your problems disappear.” By looking around, he deduced that the con ghost that did thing of minor annoyance, like switching off the alarms and bending spoons, was currently on the second floor. “Do you have flour?”

“Yes we do.” The mother handed a package over.

Stephen, thinking that the ghost was on the ceiling, he threw the flour at the ghost, revealing its shape. It had a long dastardly moustache, long face, evil eyes and a slim body. Then he kicked the shit out of the ghost, which fled to a far, far away land.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Then he went outside, took out his portable speakers from his satchel and started playing dubstep, since unicorns love electronic beat. It came running, he dropkicked the creature, and while it was trying to get up, he pushed half a carrot into its mouth. Then the unicorn fled to a far, far away land. Stephen hoped that it wouldn’t commit suicide, unicorns, when being shamed, were inclined to run into a tree, breaking their own skull. Only committing suicide would deprive them from the shame.

Considering the fact that he finished two thirds of his job under half an hour, he returned the family.

“The only way to satiate an ancestor, is to do what they say. You guys should go on a date, or whatever.”

Both of them was staring blankly at the walls, turning their heads away.

“I got a job tomorrow, so I should go to sleep. Will you show me my room?”

“Sophie.” Said the father to the older sister. “Will you?”

She nodded and stood up.

“And… Another thing. Since I was not able to solve all you problems, I am giving you a seventy percent discount.”

The father nodded, got his wallet, gave twenty thousand to Stephen, plus the price of the train ticket. “We are grateful, Mr. Silworth.”

“Stephen.” He turned to the girl. “Let’s go…”

His room was on the second floor, his was the guestroom, with a double bed and a wardrobe. The place had a modern style, combining wood and plain colours to an extent of fabulousness.

“Sooo, Stephen. I thought about what you said…”

“So?”

“Will you go on a date on me?” She burst out.

Stephen was a bit more than surprised. This was maybe the first time someone was interested him. There was another person years ago, but for some reason, he wasn’t attracted to men. He denied that offer.

“Maybe tomorrow?”

“Do you want to get rid of the spirit this badly?”

“That is one thing, they wouldn’t let me study. Another is that you are quite handsome yourself…”

“What if I have a girlfriend?”

“Do you?”

“No…”

“Then it’s settled.”

“I’m having another job tomorrow, at the beach.”

“So? I wanted to go to the beach, anyways. I might invite my sister.” According to Stephen, her younger sister was cuter, since she was, let’s say, a bit less in size. This does not means the older was fat or anything, but she had huge bosoms. Stephen loved the smaller, but more compact format a bit more, even if Sophie’s was almost perfect, not too big, not too small. This is almost the only thing they could be distinguished by, their face was almost the same, despite the two years difference in age.

“Okay.”

The next morning, the two was waiting in swimsuits at the door when he got up. Being impatient, Sophie packed breakfast so that they could depart as soon as possible.

When he took the stairs to the living room, the father was staring at him, maybe in an angry, maybe in a happy way. Stephen couldn’t see the difference. Sitting in front of the television, he seemed to be a bit distracted.

“Stephen, the girls are waiting for you.”

“I’m going.”

“Stephen!” The girls cried out simultaneously. “We are here.” They were standing at the entrance.

“Are we going by train?” He asked.

“No, I’m driving.” Replied Sophie. “Dani, will you sit at the backseats?”

“No way.” Replied Stephen. “I’m gonna sleep.”

“Is this how you properly date, Mr. Silworth?” Asked Sophie mockingly. “By sleeping?”

“You’ll have a whole day with me, don’t worry.” Even though this was his first date, he wasn’t nervous or anxious about it. He, simply, didn’t feel the need to feed another mouth.

“I’ll sit back, if you want, Mr. Silworth.” Said Dani timidly.

“Stop calling me Mr. Silworth. It’s Stephen.”

“Sure. Stephen.”

“So?”

“No argue here. I’ll sleep.”

So the following happened. Sophie drove to the beach, Stephen slept through the whole thing. Waking up during parking, he made a call to the employer, who verified that this was the beach in question. There was nobody here, even if it was hotter than hell.

Those three were let in, with some VIP people, so about thirty people were on the beach designed to take in hundreds of people.

Stephen gave a presentation to the others, and that he would make it clear if the water was safe for use.

According to the official, there was a rumble here, made by overgrown monster sharks. Last night they were particularly noisy.

When he entered the water, after he changed, he saw something floating towards the beach. It was a shark. Investigating, he found out that it ate the other two, and by doing that, it consumed a considerable amount of trash floating in the ocean, causing suffocation and rapture of its inner organs.

Then he came out of the water, made a phone call to the official that it was safe to use.

“There are those statues on isles of the Pacific, it was to frighten these monsters. You should invest in one or two as well.”

The job being done, he continued his date with the girl. After spending a day with the two, they had grown closer to each other.

“I have given you my phone number, didn’t I?” Asked Stephen, who actually enjoyed the day. They were at the train station nearby the coast.

“Yes, yes. We’ll call you, for sure.” She smiled. “I kind of like you, Stephen. You are not too old, you are handsome, and clever. Funny as well…” She couldn’t stop smiling.

“My train is leaving. Write me sometimes…”

“I’ll be seeing you again.”

They never met again.