"...All-Father's turning of a blind eye to the plight of the Orcs was an unforgivable sin by the Highest Divine, there must be reparations, penance, and repentance! Slavery is Free Will's greatest sin! Yet He does not act! He does not move! my brothers and sisters, their children, and the elderly all in chains at the bottom of the abyss! Augoriuous the Mad perhaps was not so bad after all! Heed me people of Ynir'Duvat! Sons and Daughters of noble Kaal'Duvat Goddess of all Orckind! We MUST bring true Justice to the one in charge of this madness..."
Primarch Krium of the Western Orc Horde, branded Pariah for open worship of the Mad God and revolt against All-Father's rule. Said to have perished when defending the Port City of the First Vigil, an ancient ground of war against the Elven Invaders from the sea. To this day a prominent and controversial figure in Orc Culture and History.
Lucrezia stood with Ra'Tyrius and his Wife, Goddess of Planes Wynnur, the couple had asked for a five-minute break from their meeting, something had come up and they had to discuss it privately.
"I can't believe they would ask for a meeting minutes after Richard explained his...situation to me" Lucrezia had both palms on her face, trying to untangle the very complicated set of emotions, thoughts, and impulses that were flaring up within her.
To say nothing about someone happy about this entire conundrum like a little kid on Christmas day, she saw an actual honest-to-god flash of lighting over Saal'Xhir's main cathedral and the blasted bronze bells that woman loved so much started ringing! Like a bleeding marriage ceremony had just started or finished depending on what kind of ritual the priests followed...
"Not good, I am rambling to myself now" Lucrezia spoke out loud in this plane between planes Wynnur had made for them. Deep breaths she thought to herself as she tried to Meditate, cycle mana across her channels, count to 100, and every other trick in the goddamn book she knew. Minutes went by, at least that's how it felt to her as panic, happiness, the urge to scream like she was charging at Malphas with her bare hands as weapons, and a host of other feelings sieged her mental defenses.
After what felt like an eternity, she saw both figures walking back to the small wooden desk with smiles on their faces.
"Good news, bad news, and regular news, Take your pick earthling" Wynnur sat down as she snapped her fingers, a flickering image of a blue planet flashing before Lucrezia's eyes, around it an infinite number of barriers, both magic and divine, and near it Lucrezia spotted dark figures on top of the moon, floating.
"Peace talks, actual bloody peace talks with those mad beings from beyond the cosmos, if getting you here meant that I should've done it sooner, Terra's progress should be shared across all realities, consequences be damned" the Goddess spoke, her face flushing red as Lucrezia got a rare glimpse of honest desire from the woman, attuned as she was to her Greater Blessing of Saal'Xhir.
"Let us not be too hasty dear, Grandfather is still unaware of our hand in this and we both know what will happen when he figures it out, especially if we get brazen, he can only be so soft to his family after all" Ra'Tyrius cooled his wife's jets as the woman scowled at him.
He shot a look that screamed "I am working on it" to Lucrezia as Wynnur started talking "Look, the man has let far worse slide under his watch, and we agreed to not bring this up with her you oaf, ahem" she cleared her throat "Good news first, Knowledge for traveling above FTL speeds for your space armada should be disseminated across your workshops and churches soon, naturally it will be a slow endeavor so we don't get attention from the aforementioned parties"
"The Elven enclaves on the Moon of Thyrie have also agreed to host your first base there, dearest here is working with their Gods to get more bases and personnel there but they work slowly those knife-eared moon fucks" the woman closed her first in a fit of rage that Lucrezia was getting used to it, according to a private convo she had with Ra'Tyrius, those particular elves had been an enormous torn on his wife's side for ages.
"Which means dear Lucrezia" Ra'Tyrius spoke fast so his wife didn't have time to rant "Constructions of your Space Station have been approved by everyone in charge of that particular zone, they were not happy about your weapons but I managed to smooth it over, in part due to sheer scale such construction will demand, which in turn means cooperating with other Gods, and they earn a sizeable boost to their Spheres, everyone wins!" he clapped with a cheer "Unfortunately your Space Elevator has been vetoed, they don't want it and if you build it well..."
Lucrezia shrugged, it was a pipe dream after all "As long we can ferry the materials and personnel to the Moon FOBs I won't let this get me down" Both Gods nodded "I've talked with people I trust, the teleportation Arrays are already in place we just need to feed them plenty of mana, which is no issue" Ra'Tyrius said with a nod.
"Do you have more bad news?" Lucrezia asked turning to Wynnur and the Goddess nodded "Yes, plenty but they don't concern you yet, the ones that do I will tell you" She tapped her fingers across the wooden table "First and foremost, Whoever's in charge of peace talks with Terra demanded a piece of your soul, yes they are aware you have melded with the actual Terran and that the Dominant portion is not a native to there but they want it anyway and the Terran delegation was more than happy to acquiesce to their demands, their Pantheons are not overly fond of mortals as you are well aware"
"A Lovecraftian Horror, with the power reviling that of Major Gods here in the All-Fahter's domain wants to gaze upon a piece of my soul?" Lucrezia asked, honestly dumbfounded by the revelation, while her better half wasn't a fan of cosmic horror he understood the basics of the genre, for these begins a regular human was a gnat, a summer ant!
"Don't call them that! That madman nearly got your entire planet Killed godsdamned!" Wynnur screamed then made an O face "Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to scream nor imply you are William, forgive me"
Lucrezia waved the Goddess's worries away "An honest mistake, we are one now after all" she smiled "So how do I get a piece of my soul to this...powerful being?"
Wynnur summoned a bottle made of pitch-black glass "A drop of blood here please, I will deliver it, and All-Father willing, Terra won't be besieged for longer" and that was when Lucrezia felt a tiny sliver of her soul get sucked by the bottle but nothing that would impact her combat or mental capabilities.
"I've seen your starship designs by the way, Ra'Tyrius showed to me as a dumb parent proud of his children's works" Wynnur spoke as she stowed the bottle away "Outright inspired Lucrezia, with those we will be able to reach places even my powers can't! and of course enact your revenge for the Spirits" there was a wicked grin on the woman's face when she mentioned that.
"You don't know how many Divines are on board with this child" Ra'Tyrius spoke, reverence in his voice "Even the infernals, even some of All-Father's peers who rule over their realities were appalled at what happened here, creating life, nurturing and then watching it thrive is no small feat, even at the higher levels of existence and to do what this unnamed Goddess did is tantamount of sacrilege, should you live long enough Lucrezia, know that you will have a heavy burden placed upon you, but you were already aware of that right?" the God left the question hanging.
"A Crusade, Honor bestowed only to Morugarius and her older Brother, And I will have to lead it" Lucrezia smiled and both Gods nodded.
"War truly made your people into monsters, Gods above I love it" Wynnur spoke with gusto "See dear, this is what we need down there, that drive to..." Ra'Tyrius raised his hand and once again his wife scowled at him.
"Any regular news then?" Lucrezia asked before the two adjourned the meeting again.
"All-Father's best seers are saying something big will happen in the future, Grandfather believes the war against the sea elves will be a cataclysmic event for the New World" Ra'Tyrius spoke "You, your lovers and quite a few of your friends will be at the thick of it"
"It's the Space Station, the weapons we built will cause lasting effect over the entire world I bet" Lucrezia nodded "Not exactly news but thank you" She bowed to the God as he smiled.
"We have kept you long enough Daughter" Ra'Tyrius spoke, Lucrezia noticed he had taken a liking to call her his daughter, much to Wynnur's grief as the woman wasn't ready for this new dimension of their relationship "You have your trials to face today, go with our blessing and don't forget to consult with the others if you need more guidance"
And then they were gone, Lucrezia found herself naked on her bed as her maid was mid-cooking her breakfast, lunch, and dinner too by the smells coming out of the kitchen.
"Today's the day we set this right" She rose in her birthday suit and heard Saa'ryu laugh.
"Not funny you blasted wench, out of all solutions a 5 man relationship wasn't the one I thought the cunt would come with it!" She spoke with rage "There is an entire power dimension here that just doesn't make sense Saa, whose harem is it in the first place? do we belong to Hope in some sort of fucked up way? or is it my harem and God forbid people get that idea going through their heads..."
"You are stalling Lu, just be honest with your feelings for once, besides it is a noble's duty to have at least one orgy in their lives you know? half of the five houses are known for hosting them even!" the maid spoke with cheer in her voice "Now get your pale ass out of the bed and into some decent clothing, the blessing of Saal'Xhir is distracting as all hells to me..."
"It does pulse purple an awful lot doesn't it?" Lucrezia asked in a hushed tone as she cast her gaze down and watched the intricate sigil of the Goddess of Love whose flashing lights were positively hyper today, no doubt due to this entire personal affair of hers and her...partners. Lucrezia couldn't say for sure yet, maybe taking Richard out for a nice lunch at some tavern to set things straight would be the right thing to do...
"Long Queue take me Lucrezia, are you going to summon a High Succubus into the room with that light show?" Saa'ryu asked as she brought the plates full of breakfast food "Get that under control before I have to summon a bucket of ice-cold water or something" the maid rolled her eyes "Maybe you should've gotten your back blown out earlier, save us from this song and dance"
Lucrezia made an O face "Saa'ryu!" she spoke in fake outrage "Manners my good woman manners!"
Both started wolfing down the food and drinks as the minutes went by, Saa'ryu laughing to herself as she finished her coffee pot "Manners she says, My Lady, you quite literally killed the Goddess in charge of keeping up manners, with Saal'Xhir rise to power so will the culture around this beautiful country change as well, to the obscene and lewd mind you but change it will."
Saa'ryu got up and picked up a neatly done package made out of solid steel and crystal "Arrived just the other day from home, a brand new dress made by the Form Sect" she snickered as the newest branch of the cult of Magi-Tech name came out of her lips, gone were the hard utilitarian mindset and dogma, they wanted to make art pieces that worked just as well!
Of course, it was way easier said than done, but those art-inclined dwarves were a hardy bunch.
An intricately done dress stood in front of Lucrezia, Red and Black but with hints of crystal here and there, something lavish and gaudy but with her Keen eye she could see the concessions made for battle, a piece that made her Blessing of Ra'Tyrius tingle with delight and fondness for his followers.
"Plenty of skin being shown in this one, legs, chest, and back huh" Saa'Ryu spoke as she looked at herself "It's gonna be hard to fight to wear that of course, but it seems even those fancy dwarves had enough sense to make sure you aren't going in Naked as a Wilf Elf from the Imperium" she nodded in approval "Of course depending on what sort of fight you get into it, that might help you"
"What, the dress?" Lucrezia asked before realizing her mistake.
"No, you dummy, fighting tits out HA!" the maid laughed to the Kitchen with the empty plates as Lucrezia stemmed by herself for being caught lacking that bad, Gods above she thought to herself, it was like she was seeing a whole new side to her maid!
"Impressive how the Radios caught on, we have news coming from all corners of the kingdom now and we have gotten orders from pretty much every country in the new world" the maid spoke with a smirk on her face.
"I was told even our royals wanted towers and the best units we had on stock" Lucrezia spoke as she flexed her blessing and felt the fancy dress snap shut on her like her usual armor, a very cool feeling spread throughout her body as all the intricate Magi-Tech spurred itself to life.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
"Amazing" Lucrezia whispered to herself as Saa'ryu nodded "I suppose it's time to get this date going then, did you get the reservations at that place I told you about, with the live orchestra performance?"
The maid nodded "Of course, as if they would deny you after you not only saved the entire place from bankruptcy and gave them those fancy new instruments, not to mention the new music which speaking of which" the maid reached into her pockets and grabbed a fancy cube, it was spinning on itself and embedded on it were the musical notes, ah Lucrezia smiled, a message from the DMC.
"The Divine Musical Cooperative, a loose association of the many many musical divines" Saa'ryu spoke with a hint of puzzlement "I guess these creative types wouldn't do like the merchant Gods and form a proper company or enterprise" Lucrezia nodded.
"Well then, let's hear what they have to say shall we?" Lucrezia grabbed the cube and channeled a bit of her mana into it, a soft hum filled the room as the most beautiful voice she had heard yet spoke through the notes.
"Kindest of friend, Lover of all musical arts across this world blessed by the All-Father! We salute you Sister Lucrezia for your monumental efforts to improve the Arts across all walks of life in the world, from the path of the warrior to the workers and artisans, It is with great sadness that we can not bestow you ALL of our Greater Blessings for the sheer scale of your work but as your Magi-Tech has shown, it does not mean we can not work together, and so we come before you to deliver our heartfelt thanks and know this, As the Prime Goddess of Song, Eulogia of the Singing Void and leader of the Divine Musical Cooperative that your firstborn will be hailed as our Herald with a personal Blessing that combines every facet of our powers!"
"They can do that?" Saa'ryu asked "Ah! now that you have given them such a major power boost they might be capable of it, Combined Blessings are rare, not "Blessed by the All-Father" rare but you know..."
Lucrezia was silent, that last line hanging over her like a guillotine blade.
Saa'ryu snapped her fingers "Lu? Are you ok? Oh" The maid realized what was happening and she gave Lucrezia a pat on the head "Don't worry your pretty head about it, Wulfgrem tradition for birthing infants is a worldwide institution, thanks to our wet nurses and midwives training we will assure you can deliver that baby as hale as the rising sun"
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"Love Shall Set You Free, composed and written by Lady Lucrezia Wulfgrem will be played this evening at the..." Richard strode past the crier who was announcing one of Lucrezia's new shows, it was a single song but the entire thing lasted for nearly 3 hours!
Dodging and weaving among the crowded streets of the capital, Richard made his way to a trusted couple, friends ever since he was a little kid, Norleis and Alpha were the best in the entire capital when it came to fine clothing, in his opinion of course.
He felt a grimace form as he recalled a particularly nasty argument he had with his Father and Mother over the topic, the first time he saw both of his parents visibly upset! who knew clothing was so important, of course as he got older he eventually found out why.
Pushing the doors to enter their shop, he was greeted by one of Lucrezia's radio who was currently playing a very sad tune, Imperium composition that one his ears told him, with the choir almost sounding like a wail.
The Elven couple were natives of the Imperium, having seen their fair share of war for over a millennia they decided to retire in the new world, Richard always felt the shadow of death over them, and now with his new blessing, it was almost like a pressure, powerful but kept at bay by their millennial training.
"Your lover-to-be has granted us a boon like no other" spoke Alpha who came to greet Richard with a hug "It's been a while young Richard, my you've even grown!" she smiled and her eyes brightened up "Norl is sleeping at the moment but we have your suit ready"
"It has been a while Alpha, thank you for putting it together on such short notice, even after I stopped seeing you two for a while..." he felt awkward but as his mother always said, it was best to make things clear from the get-go.
"Your honesty is appreciated my dear, but time is no issue for me and him" She cast her gaze to the radio "We have been hearing news from home for a while now, make sure to thank Lucrezia for this" Alpha patted the radio as they moved into the booth to dress Richard up.
As the ancient Elven woman got to work, Richard watched her eyes flash with tinges of Divine power, her blessing no doubt "Life has gotten busy for me these past few months" He spoke, he knew that Alpha never liked to start a conversation "A pearl of wisdom from you would be most welcome my friend" he laughed as she smiled knowing the archaic way he pronounced Friend was a butchering of the elven tongue of yore.
"Always move forward my dear, the past is home only for people like me and Norl" she clapped and the entire suit snapped into him "Done, I have to say I may have outdone myself with this one, Norl will be pleased"
"Be in it war or love dear Richard, put one foot after the other and move forward" she hugged him "You carry with you a heavy burden, but with your loved ones it won't be that heavy" Alpha smiled as she let him go "I'll tell husband dearest you came by, and remember, the door is always open for visits"
Richard thanked her and bowed, leaving the store and walking into the streets "It can't be easy, being immortal" he spoke to himself as he walked towards a carriage that could take him to the meeting place Lucrezia had sent a while back.
"Forward it is then"
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Her better half was not one to enjoy classical music back on earth, at least not from established composers, the many soundtracks he consumed oddly did not count in his heart of hearts, a silly notion Lucrezia found but she couldn't judge, those were her feelings now after all.
And yet...there was one piece, one symphony William was very much a fan of, Gustav's Mahler 2nd Symphony, a powerful and quite long tune that exuded power, faith, redemption, and many other grandiose feelings.
"An ill-suited background music for a date" she spoke to herself, of course, had been renamed to Love Shall Set You Free, fearing some sort of beyond-the-cosmos lawyer strike, silly she thought to herself, but this was a very silly situation she found herself in.
There was of course, base lust always running beneath her skin, the wants of the flesh as her better half used to say, there was the earnest wish of being with someone else, to share the burdens she inherited and brought to herself, there was the fear of being alone, sad and bitter with age.
But was love there? that connection that went beyond the chemicals in the brain and neurological pathways of her body? a true bond forged with something greater than the sum of its parts? Her better half was always worried, he tried his best to hide it of course but beneath the facade was the desire to feel love again, to give himself to someone in a healthy way, so that two could endure the wicked world he lived in.
But this was not a wicked world, where War and Misery reigned, and so Lucrezia fell into deep meditation to seek some sort of answer to this storm of feelings and thoughts that ravaged her.
Time passed as she wrestled with them, each a facet of herself and William, each worth listening to, pondering on them she asked herself once again "What is Love? I am Worth of it?" the second question burning across her mental plane.
"Do I love Richard? Or Hope? Do I like them? Maybe Vivienne?" She asked herself again, feeling the pangs of fear grasp her heart of hearts, to be willing to let herself go was to be vulnerable, hurt would come not from steel and aether, but from words, gestures, eyes, and feelings.
Lucrezia felt silly after a while, here she was trying to grasp at the insubstantial, trying her hardest to come to some sort of conclusion, when she could've called for aid all this time!
A small prayer, a plea for help in a genuine tone, and Lucrezia sent it away, feeding it to the Blessing of the One Goddess who could guide her in this very unique predicament.
Saal'Xhir stood right by her, a plain white tune covering her body as her golden brown face lit up in a motherly smile "Love, a most powerful fuel for mortal and divine both, the raging fire, the Zealot God who would betray his own father for his people, a little girl who would die multiple times for her friends, and an unremarkable boy who by his own will charged down a sea of blades, Goddess on his back and all" she spoke almost singing "Faal always told me "Love is Free Will with passion!" but many do not ponder the why of it you know?"
"Even the scholars?" Lucrezia asked with a smile sitting down next to the Goddess, who had no outward powers being manifested in this mental place where both were communing, she felt almost human in a way.
"My Scholars being a rare exception" Saal'Xhir replied "Once I asked Faal the same question, are we worth anything? Do we deserve anything?" in my weakest moment before begging for forgiveness for siding with his foolish son.
There was silence, and Lucrezia spoke "No, but we have the right to try"
Saal'Xhir nodded as she contemplated the words in silence, time passed before she spoke "Yes, we can try, that's all we can do" she spoke as if a memory was being played in front of her "Wise in many ways that man, and I am impressed you know of it, then again Faal has taken a special liking to you"
She stood up and Lucrezia did as well "So try it, my child, for once in your short life let the shield and armor down and try it, after all, you can always try again" and she hugged her tight, warmth spreading all over Lucrezia's body "For I will be always watching, and doing my best you end up happy"
And it was over, Lucrezia woke up from her meditative state light of heart and mind, ready for the future.
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Lucrezia stood facing the orchestra as the many musicians tuned their instruments, Richard was by her side eating some sort of huge magical carp found in the mega continent to the north of the new world, thanks to the magic within their private booth, both smell and sound wouldn't disturb the rest of the place, she cast her gaze towards the rest of the private booths, many other patrons eating and making marry without a sound.
"Impressive isn't it?" Richard spoke mid-bite " Magic for things like this always fascinated me when I was little, to the woes of our mages in the company, some of them ended up calling me Surprise Quiz Richie due to my incessant nagging" he smiled warmly at the memory, Lucrezia knew it was near and dear to him.
"Listen to those instruments, Golden City be praised how did you not get a greater blessing from one of the musical gods Lucrezia?" Richard spoke in wonder "Look at it, even the musicians are impressed with their new equipment and they have the pieces for months now!"
She laughed and said "Miss Eulogia sent a message, even if I lack a blessing from her little band they are more than happy with my love for the musical arts" Richard smiled at her words, his eyes slightly closing.
"It is a powerful thing, music that is, it can move people at their direst, embolden even the weakest of links, but also comfort, sadden, and everything in between, I wouldn't bat an eye if you end up becoming a minor Saint for Eulogia, or even a Minor Goddess of Music!" Richard finished his plate "Bloody hells this is some good godsdamned fish" he lowered his face and chanted arcane words of power, a sigil of gold, silver, and green jade flashed as a wave of mana washed over him.
"Interesting, seems the blessing of the Goddess of the Orcs has finally slotted itself together with the Merchant's one" Lucrezia pointed out and the young man nodded feeling happy about it.
"I actually had to talk with their Representative can you believe it? only the Matriarch of the Silverbrands had it before but my case was a unique one, what did surprise me the most was that the Merchant Gods were all very happy about this whole thing, some of them had been trying to break deals with the Orcs for ages now and this is a prime opportunity for them heh, of course, we are all only talking about it for now"
"Gods I feel refreshed, Kaine's variation of the cleaning spell truly is a marvel of magical knowledge" Richard spoke as he devoured cough drops in his chair "To think I would be able to study with him on magic, out of everything that happened so far to me, that still makes me go "wow" you know?" He smiled and let the question hang in the air as Lucrezia consumed some cough drops herself.
"He likes it you know? told me you have what many would-be mages lack nowadays, willingness to see your mistakes" Lucrezia spoke and Richard nodded "It's very important, especially with the...fighting that is to come" She cursed inwards, damn it no war talk on the date!
"Don't worry about it Lu, I won't get mad if war talk comes up" he laughed "But yes, it's important to know how your teachers and mentors work to extract the most of them, as mother always used to say, it helps that we are friends as well, but I am not the only one who got praise from our future Arch-Mage hehe" he pointed to her "He often tells me how crazy things go for you, imagine if you had a greater blessing for magic he often says" Richard leaned in "He's a stand-up guy, most of our little crew are" he laughed.
"Indeed" Lucrezia spoke and the show started, it went on and on as the hairs on her arms raised themselves at the apex of the show, the roaring of the brass, string, and wind instruments, the sheer power of the choir and solo singers, the energy of the conductor, it all sweep her in, and Richard too as she saw the man's eyes widen in sheer amazement and a myriad of emotions flash through his face and body.
She didn't even notice when she held hands with him, fingers interlinked as the entire place held their breath for the final part of the show, a tiny sliver of her soul hidden in the depths of her being quivered as the words were spoken by the choir, she felt a bolt of lightning slam her right into her central nervous system, as two very distinct entities turned their eyes towards her.
One she knew very well who it was, creator of everything around her and the world as she knew it, the other was alien, yet not, ancient and powerful, yet caring and loving, wrathful and possessing of overwhelming power, yet merciful and kind.
Gods of Old, Gods of Terra her mind spoke in English, her very soul was being used as a window for the Divines on Terra to watch this immaculate show based on her old-world music, and the same could be said for the Divines of this reality, as she noticed how some in the crowd and even a few musicians started darting their eyes around. The realization that this place would usher a cultural shift on the same scale as her Warmachines did not so long ago making itself manifest for the people and Divines watching.
"Did you come up with the language for the song?" Richard asked barely a whisper "It's beautiful"
"Yes, I did" a white lie as the choir blasted off "Thank you"
As the climax of the song blasted across the hall, Lucrezia was hyper-focused on the orchestra members, each and every one of them giving their all as the sheer power of the music piece shook the walls, the choir's voice winding them up as the conductor sweated off half his body weight and then it came, the end as the sound of bells rung across the city and inside the establishment.
And then, it was over, a standing ovation swept across the place as people whistled, clapped, and screamed, the band was visibly shaking from the entire thing, with some of the members nearly fainting on the spot, but spurred on by the magnitude of their achievement on this day.
"Out of everything you created, this might be your greatest achievement Lu, not the weapons, the magicks, or the food" Richard spoke, his voice shaky as he held himself not from crying in front of his date "Forgive me, that was...highly emotional, I'd go as far as say it felt godly as if my very faith was being assured if that makes any sense" Lucrezia nodded still holding his hand, giving him a few minutes so he could fully digest it.
It was a powerful piece after all, and she made sure to add extra flair, an extra calling to the faith that kept the people of this world going to kick it into 11, and by the reaction of many people, it worked as she saw many others crying in joy and hope.
"Gods above and bellow how do I even as you in courtship after this? Faith and Romance are not an easy mix if you aren't one of Saal'Xhir's chosen you know? Oh, I feel extremely silly now" Richard spoke, half laughing half dismayed at his current predicament, with a sharp intake of air he got his game face on and turned to Lucrezia "Lady Lucrezia, fairest of all maidens in this beautiful world, I love you" She felt a slight pause as both inhaled air "and with the Goddess of Love as my witness, would you like to be my girlfriend?"