Regaining consciousness was like slowly surfacing from a vivid nightmare. My eyes struggled against the oppressive darkness, and when I finally pried them open, I wished I hadn't.

"Oh, you're up! Took you long enough!"

The voice pierced through my confusion. As I squinted into focus, I saw him—a mirror image of myself. Only, he seemed oddly pleased about it, like winning a weird look-alike contest.

"He... looks like me. But with a smug expression."

"Hi there! I'm Akira Miyamoto," he said, flashing a grin as if auditioning for a toothpaste commercial. "And you must be Adachi! Yep, that's you, right?"

"Uh... I think so?" I stammered, wondering if I had suddenly entered the Twilight Zone.

Kana, his companion, rattled off my life story with absurd precision. It was like she'd read my autobiography over breakfast.

"Can you tell me why I'm here?" I asked, trying to break the bizarre tension in the room. "I'm not really the best hostage material, you know?"

Akira rose from his seat, striking a dramatic pose. "Guess what you can give me that nobody else can!"

"Uh... a bad impersonation of you?" I offered, trying to play along.

"Yourself!" he declared, looking way too excited about his own punchline.

"Seriously?" I snorted, almost chuckling. "Is this a prank show? Because if it is, I've got to say, your casting department nailed it!"

But Akira was undeterred. "Nope! We've got matching faces, buddy! You're gonna step into my shoes and live my oh-so-fabulous life!"

I blinked, speechless, wondering if this was some surreal sitcom I'd accidentally wandered into.

Now, what this scene needed was the confident, arrogant sidekick of the kidnapper who stretched my tongue if I didn't open my mouth.

"Open your damn mouth, you bastard. Or I slit it open for you?" The woman named Kana spoke or rather threatened me with her fine words.

Oh-there she is! They really nailed the casting!

While my heart pounded like a simp complementing his compliment-entitled girlfriend, I wanted this all to turn out like some parody scene where at any moment some old-ass fat dude with a shining bald head carrying a cardboard in his hand with the word "PRANK" in bold letters, would come and say that it was all a huge prank for a third-tier TV channel.

But with each passing second, It became clear to me.

I am not getting out of her for free!!

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And probably the beautiful woman named- wait! What was her name again?

She started walking towards me, calmly and elegantly, until she was only one step away from me, and slightly bent down, her face facing mine.

Soft-white cheeks, with a faint resemblance like some pink mochi, her Azul eyes looked almost mystically seeing through my soul, although her pink lips moved like singing some inaudible prayer until-

"You damn sucker!!" She immediately groped my shirt tightly and with the other hand she formed a tight fist which she launched straight to me.

-Ahhhhhhhh!! I wish the illusion kept going a little longer!!

"Kana-chan stop." Just as her hard punch was about to make a salad off my face, Miyamoto commanded her and her punch stopped only a few centimeters away from my face.

"But Akira-sama, even though you expressed your proposal, he was not opening his mouth. Please leave it to me. Just three punches and I swear he will start barking." While her fist was still mid-air a few centimeters away from my face, she turned her head and spoke hastily in a soft voice almost like a child whose parents had caught him doing something wrong and he immediately starts explaining his excuses for doing so.

Scary!! Does this girl have a dual personality? A few moments, she was talking like some old-thug and now she behaves like some tamed kitten. She is one hell of a unique piece!

I was in dismay. So, before she started beating me down, I decided to speak.

"I AM TALKING! I am talking. See, I am talking. Please ma'am please leave me. And sir, please explain to me a bit more clearly, what do you mean?"

My words made her retract herself to Miyamoto's side again while he passed me a wide grin and said, "Just like I stated, I want you to step up in my shoes, and live my life. That includes taking my business meetings, hanging out with friends and of course taking care of my girlfriends."

All of his words were confusing to me but not more than the word "girlfriends". Is his grammar bad? No, probably not. At least, not as bad as our author. We need a better author!

Leaving the author's problem aside, does he have his harem!? Now that's interesting!

"Girlfriends!?"

"Yes. You see, I have 4 girlfriends. Well actually, one is my wife, and one is almost my wife, and the other two are my girlfriends. But It's not like some harem anime. They just don't know about each other's existence and I am keeping these relationships a secret from them."

"Awwww No harem! Boring!."

"Well, yeah. So, I want you to take over my life. Of course I will pay you for that. For whatever money you want. Also, A little advice I like to give you is that you don't have many choices. I don't think you would get a better deal than this in your life. After that incident, even if you are at fault or not, no one will give you any job. You have tons of loan over you and your girlfriend-"

"SO WHAT!? Just because my life is going down. I destroy someone else's life!! So sorry but I..."

Why can't I say it? Why can't I say I don't wanna do it?

I know I will not have many chances like this but I can't take it. I can't cheat on someone, especially not Kaori, my love! Then why!?

Upon their sharp gazes, my head moved down in embarrassment, over my cowardice.

"You are right. I am wrong. Being selfish is never wrong. As I said, you will live my life. So, be the hero and save the day from me, the evil maniac villain. And I am even paying you to do that."

When his words crawled in my ears, I looked up, his eyes matched mine.

But there was nothing. No malice in those eyes. There was just nothing.

"I will want 100 million yen for one month. And I will only work for you until I get a proper job. If you accept it, I am on it. Otherwise Leave it, I am going home."

With a sudden surprise, he twitched his eyebrows in confusion but then he immediately turned to laughter.

"Wonderful! I didn't think you would turn so fast. But I guess desperation and money are some great masters in life. Deal. But you have to minimally work for me for at least three months. Take it or Go home right now."

He looked as if he knew what I was going to answer. How annoying!

But as he had said, opportunities like this don't always come.

"Deal!"

Mission survived -self respect.